Along with clothing, hygiene, and money, Taehyung always carried four or five books with him. But these books weren’t ordinary books, they were magic books, as in they change size and title every time Taehyung unpacked.

“When do you buy all of these books?” Hoseok asked one day while flipping through the Malcolm Gladwell novel that Taehyung had brought with him.

“I don’t buy them I trade them,” Taehyung answered.

“Trade them for what?”

“Other books.  I meet someone, I give them one of my books in exchange for their favorite one. You can learn a lot about a person from what books they read. And then, when the read the book I give them, they think they’re learning something about me. When really they’re learning about a stranger they never met. I remain a shadow and they make a new friend.”

That’s a lie, Hoseok thought, those books say I lot about you. You take a piece of everyone you meet, and share it with someone else. Those books are your selflessness. But Hoseok doesn’t say that. Instead he pulls Taehyung on to his lap and trails kisses down his neck.

Hoseok will pretend Taehyung is a shadow, only because that’s what he wants.

~~

Taehyung’s lying down on the field behind Hoseok’s house, with sunlight dancing across his sandy hair. An untamed spirit, how could Hoseok ever hope to catch him.

“How long have you been out of school?” Taehyung asked.

“Probably twice as long as you, how old are you?”

“Twenty six, I’ve been traveling for four years,” Taehyung answered airily, “I can’t imagine any other life.”

When I was in high school he was still in elementary school Hoseok thought. Instead he changed subjects, “You said you have a bachelor’s degree. What subject?”

“Geoscience. I studied our mother planet and learned how beautiful she was. But I spent so much time in the dirt, I didn’t realize that people were beautiful too. Not until I graduated.”

Hoseok smiled.

“I wish I could learn about everyone, but for now I’m happy to know everything about Hobi.”

“Hobi?” Hoseok laughed as he pulled Taehyung closer to him, “You call me that, but you never told me why.”

“Yeah Hobi,” Taehyung began playing with Hoseok’s shirt, “Hoseok is kind of a mouthful, but Hobi, Hobi rolls of the tongue.”

Hoseok kissed soft pink lips, “Hobi, huh? Cute. I like it.” 

“It’s also," Taehyung whispered between kisses, "easier to scream.”

Hoseok was never one for open air , but with a proposition like that…

~~

Taehyung didn’t like talking about himself. He told stories of intangible people who worked as curators for art museums or mailmen who once found a thumb in one of the envelopes they were supposed to deliver. But he never spoke about himself. Not for long.

Sometimes, he let things slip. An offhanded sentence wedged between two lingering details of someone else’s life. Hoseok saved every one. Taehyung had two older brothers and one younger (half) sister. His aunt died on a plane when he was in college. He doesn’t have a passport. His father was a soldier. He didn’t know his biological father’s name, nor did he care. From gathered up the evidence, Hoseok knew Taehyung went to at least three different elementary schools. He has been to at least five European countries. He’s visited the motherland, South Korea, only once.

Growing up, Taehyung never stayed in one place for more than three years. Hoseok wonders how he managed to stay in college long enough to graduate.

Taehyung picked up some interesting hobbies from his travels. For one week, whenever he would stay at Hoseok’s, Taehyung would sit on the floor and braid brightly colored strings.  “It’s called macabre,” he once explained, “it’s an easy hobby, and slowly the braid becomes more and more complicated.” He collects the string he uses from everyone he meets. A loose thread from a pair of jeans. An unharmonious cross stitch. And the beads he threads in between come from various origins as well. A broken necklace found on a beach. The tie at the end of a cornrow. A keychain he broke apart, and then he wove them together into long chains, humming as he worked.

Hoseok had once asked why he didn’t turn them into bracelets, so that he could sell them to fund his trips. Taehyung smiled. “That’s not what they’re for,” he answered.

Brightly colored chains and braids were not to be sold. The one thing Taehyung was sentimental about. Young girls had diaries, Taehyung had strings. And when he worked, he would tell Hoseok the stories associated with the thread, his adventures in New York, Raleigh, Omaha, San Diego, every city. He would get lost in his work, weaving complicated knots and reminiscing about his adventures in a dream like haze. They would be wrapped up, Taehyung resting his head on Hoseok’s back, or maybe there legs were tangled together on the couch.

After the braid was finished, he would add to the bar in Hoseok’s living room that was kept solely for that purpose.

~~

In the weeks when Taehyung was over, Hoseok found all of his calculations were right the first time, he would have the photos he needed, he even helped Yoongi make a breakthrough in his Red Giant project. In the acknowledgements of his thesis, Yoongi thanked Hoseok. But Hoseok thanked Taehyung. Because Taehyung would be at home, and always had a fond smile on his face whenever Hoseok would ramble about his jobs or the origins of constellation names.

“That’s Cygnus, the one that looks like an arrow,” Hoseok would point out, “and the one next to it is Drago.”

Taehyung hummed, “Did the Greeks ever worry that the Dragon would eat the swan?”

They both started laughing. Hoseok felt Taehyung’s shoulder shake with each breath he took.

But when Taehyung was gone, it was harder to focus. There was no one to impress, no one to come home to, only Yoongi in the office. And while he was a good friend, he wasn’t sun bleached hair and pouting pink lips. Hoseok found himself counting down the hours until he could go home and make his instant hot chocolate.

He had to buy mini marshmallows.

They were Taehyung’s favorites.

Maybe Taehyung would be lying on the couch when he got home.

He wasn’t.

~~

“It’s funny how much you study places you can never visit,” Taehyung laughed, “and yet you know nothing about the world you actually live in.”

“Why should I care about Earth, everything about it has been categorized by someone else. It’s all written down,” Hoseok flipped through the manuscript of a textbook his lab would publish next year.

Taehyung didn’t answer, only smiled in his lazy sort of a way.

He woke them up early the next morning, they went to the bust stop, bought tickets for the next available bus, and spent three hours crammed between strangers. They got off at the fourth stop, some other small Wyoming town that no one outside of the state knew existed. It was market day, a windy one. Hoseok had to forfeit his jacket after Taehyung’s whines became too much. Taehyung bought roasted nuts, tangerines, and a squash.

“You never cook, what would you do with a squash?” Hoseok asked.

“You’ll think of something,” Taehyung smiled.

Hoseok slid an arm around his shoulder, “Nope, that’s your squash. You have to cook it.”

They ate dinner at a local restaurant, the owners were German immigrants, and they ordered schnitzel and sauerkraut and other food they couldn’t pronounce.

The night was spent sleeping on the bus. And after the bus, Taehyung slept on the car ride back home.

“You see, you never would have found that place if you didn’t look,” Taehyung yawned as he crawled into the bed.

Hoseok smiled and pulled Taehyung to him, “You’re right. There are a lot of wonderful things here on earth.”

The best one is you.

~~

Hoseok hated the days when Taehyung would disappear.

They were spontaneous, one of the many mysteries of Taehyung Kim. But still it would be nice if he left a note on the door stating where he was going and how long he would be there. Or casually say ‘hey I’m leaving tomorrow.’ He never gave hints. Some mornings, Hoseok would wake up to an empty bed, with Taehyung’s bag missing, and his shoes no longer by the front door. The only sign he left behind was replacing one of Hoseok’s astronomy books with one of the books he collected.

Hoseok didn’t like the morning disappearances, but he hated when Taehyung left in the afternoons. Afternoon departures meant Hoseok would come home excited, only to be disappointed in the empty home awaiting him. He would spend a half hour, maybe longer, by the door, naively hoping that Taehyung only went to town, and spend the rest of the evening sulking in his room.

Taehyung’s absences were always irregular. There was no pattern to how long he was gone or where he went. Unpredictable, just how he wanted to be.

Hoseok would sometimes see look alikes in the crowds on the news or the morning paper, he would imagine reasons for Taehyung to be there. So that’s why he left so abruptly, he went to a pro life march because an ex girlfriend had an abortion without telling him. Or maybe, he’s watching the parade because he would watch it with his cousin who died in a car crash three years ago. These were his fantasies.

Of course they weren’t enough. And Hoseok began to find Saturday nights, gazing up at the stars from atop a blanket, not nearly as enjoyable when there isn’t someone pressed against his side, asking about constellations. And while telescopes were wonderful, they weren’t thin limbs wrapped around his neck. Or a head perched on his shoulder.

The first few times Taehyung left without note, Hoseok worried that he would never come back.

But Taehyung was a boomerang.

He always came back.

Sometimes, Taehyung would sneak into the house on the early morning and climb into Hoseok’s bed, so that the stargazer woke up to a face full of Taehyung. Those reunions were fun, and always, always, led to lazy morning . Hoseok liked those greetings.

The best ones were in the evening.

When Hoseok would get home after a long day at work and find a surprise Taehyung sleeping on his bed, or reading on the couch, or tackling him when he walked through the door. Hoseok’s heart would beat a mile a minute because Taehyung was back! Taehyung was back and he’s not leaving for a while, and Hoseok doesn’t know when he’ll leave so they should just kiss all the time, or at least right now, when Taehyung is securely wrapped in Hoseok’s arms.

~~

“I was a biology major when I started school. My mom had this master plan for me: enter college, get a four year degree, then go to med school and become a surgeon for the Denver hospital. After five side astronomy classes I officially switched majors and crushed my mother’s dreams. But they were my mother’s, not mine. When I was a kid, I was always fascinated by stars. The little tiny sprinkles of light that only existed when we visited my aunt in Indiana. There are no stars in LA, not anymore. So I loved the trips to my aunt’s house. Her husband would set up a fire pit, and we’d roast marshmallows, and he would tell us stories about the sky. He told us about Orion, and the three kings, the big dipper and the little dipper. Looking back, my uncle was definitely one of my biggest influences. One day, my aunt caught him ing his secretary and moved back to LA. He was gone, but my obsession stayed.”

“Did you ever want to be an astronaut?”

“I did when I was younger. But then NASA cancelled the space program, even before that I changed my dreams to becoming a doctor. Then again you can’t change your dreams. That’s out of your control,” Hoseok chuckled, he looked back up at the stars, “When I was younger that’s all I wanted. To go to space and walk on the moon. But only one ship has landed there, I am not great enough to join those brave men. It would have been nice to just ride a rocket and work inside of the International Space Station, to not be pulled down by gravity, and float amongst the stars…”

“Sounds lonely.”

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s nothing.”

“No tell me,” Hoseok turned to face him, “I want to hear it.”

Taehyung didn’t meet his gaze, “Well you’re by yourself, all on your own. You have coworkers, but after a few weeks of seeing only them, they would become taxing.  What if you get into a conflict and you can’t avoid them? You’re stuck with them? And you’re not grounded, you’re disoriented, there’s no way to tell which way is up and which way is down. The only hint at direction you have is the view of Earth from your window. But you can’t touch it, you can only see it. You don’t know what time it is anymore because there is no sun and moon to guide you. You’re lost.”

“But you’re not lost,” Hoseok Taehyung's fingers, “You can see home, it’s right there in front of you.”

Taehyung grabbed his hand, “Yeah but you can’t feel it.”

Taehyung’s eyes were red, threatening to cry, Hoseok couldn’t remember ever seeing him so vulnerable. So he didn’t press the conversation further. He helped Taehyung up and led him back to the room to sleep.

Taehyung was gone the next morning.

~~

“I don’t remember liking someone ever being this difficult,” Hoseok muttered into the beer bottle.

After Hoseok’s fourth disastrous simulation, Yoongi dragged him out of the lab and into the downtown bar. If you can’t work, drink. Yoongi’s motto wasn’t helping.

“How hard is it to stay in one place? Or at least say where you’re going?” Hoseok asked.

“I don’t know man,” Yoongi answered, “I don’t date hippies so I don’t have to ask those questions.”

“He’s not a hippy, he’s one of Mother Earth’s children.”

Yoongi raised an eyebrow.

“His words not mine,” Hoseok answered.

“Hippy,” Yoongi drank from his bottle, “he makes you miserable. Why don’t you tell him to leave and never come back?”

“Because when he comes back, I forget that he ever left,” Hoseok smiled to himself, “he brightens up the house and changes it to a home. He planted a garden, I have fresh tomatoes now. And he makes me smile, just by being there. Besides you know I could never do that.”

“Oh I know, you’re too nice Hoseok.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember when we were roommates in college, and there was that guy, Seokjin, he was in our biology classes. And you would share notes with him, buy his coffee, hear about all of his relationship problems. When he found out his boyfriend was cheating on him, you spent three days with him listening to him whine nonstop about how terrible his life was. You were in love with the guy. But you were too scared to risk ruining your friendship. And now look who he’s with,” Yoongi pointed at the door where Seokjin ran in, hand firmly clasped in Nam Joon’s.

Nam Joon was Yoongi and Hoseok’s roommate in college. He was one of those permanent comforting fixtures in Hoseok’s life. And even though Seokjin overlooked Hoseok and chose Nam Joon instead, Hoseok wasn’t mad, he could never be mad at Nam Joon.

But right now he was jealous.

Not of Nam Joon having Seokjin, Hoseok outgrew his crush before he graduated college.

But he was jealous of how Nam Joon was able to go to sleep without having to worry about Seokjin leaving in the morning. They had stability.

In photos, Earth looks so small, as if Hoseok could hold the world in his hand. That would be nice. That way, he could watch over Taehyung every time he left. And learn what he needed to add to his life so that Taehyung would stay. What he needed to take out so that Taehyung wouldn’t leave.

Hoseok finished his beer and ordered a shot of whiskey. It was going to be a long night.

AN: Pretty sure this is going to be the longest chapter. I'm not sure, I haven't finished editing the rest yet.

       On an unrelated note, I hate statistics -_-