~

All alone, I'm so all alone
There is no one else but you
All alone by the telephone
Waiting for a ring, a ting-a-ling

I'm all alone every evening
All alone, feeling blue
Wond'ring where you are and how you are
And if you are all alone too (Frank S.)

~

The sun and the night were running, and so were my days. I was wasting out. I just wanted it to be over soon. Dying is not as bad as people think it is. I think death brings the best of us, when you finally notice is too late to go back and fix the mistakes you made in the past, but somehow, you make it thru. You go above all that, because no matter how hard you try, how much you want to go back, it won't happen. So, your last option is to move on. 

My last days were spent with Frank Sinatra. His voice comforted me and made the imminent, less painful. Suddenly, the kids playing next to my house, weren't annoying anymore, they were precious little diamonds, that the time would lapidate. They would grow up, have the same experiences I had, they'd have boyfriends and girlfriends, they'd cry beause of a first love, get married, have childrens, they'd see those childrens grow up thinking the same I'm thinking right now. They would exceed me. I was a little envious. The lady in the street was different too, or maybe I was different? Her sad smile, didn't look sad anymore, it looked like a smile only those that had a complete and honest life would display. She was in peace, being old and in the final stage of her life, she was in peace, because she had a full life. All of her memories, she was proud of them.

That day, different of all the others in which I'd pay her no mind, and coldly greet her with a half-hearted bow, I actually sat by her side, she looked at me and smiled with knowing eyes. I started to cry, uncontrollably. She embraced me and whispered it was okay, but it wasn't, I told her, ''I'm dying.'' and she hugged me stronger, then I noticed she was crying too. "Me too." she said, her gentle eyes, looked at me with compassion. 

That same day, I went down the street I used to avoid, a boy, dirty and hungry was sit by the street, I didn't avoid it because I was afraid of that street, it was because that boy was there, I didn't want to feel compassion for that poor soul, everybody avoided him. But there was no reason, when I stopped to think, this is just like human beings are. They turn their eyes and pretend there is nothing wrong. But there will always be something wrong. That child deserve as much as anyone else, maybe, even more. 

He looked to me, his eyes were sad, he lowered his head, used to being ignored. But not this time, not in my last time. I sat down by his side, the kid was obviously surprised, he tried to move away, afraid to touch me and be reprimended. But I holded his hand. "Kid, I'm dying today." He was silent, but I could see in his eyes he was sorry for me. "My house is going to become a lonely place, do you want it? The house?" He said yes, his eyes down. "I'll give you my house, and the money I have in my bank account, but in exchange!" The boy looked alarmed, ready to run, if I tried to do anything bad to him. But I talked softly, I didn't want to scare the little bird away. "First you have to tell me your name, I'll tell you mine first, I'm Kang Daesung, second, you have to study well. I won't be here to know, but I want you to do it for yourself." He looked uncomfortable, I smiled to him and he tried to smile back. It was a lame try. 

"My name is Choi Seunghyun, and I'm seven years old. How old are you, sir?" he asked me. Shy. "I'm 25, just 18 years older than you." I smiled, my second mistake was solved. I was leaving when the boy holded me and asked me. "Why are you dying today?" He asked in such a sad tone, I almost regretted having to go. "We all have to die someday. It may be sooner or later for some, but who knows? I'm dying because the time has come." Again, I was almost leaving when he holded me back. His eyes were teary. "Don't you think its unfair? Why do you have to die? You're a good person." his words brought a smile back to my lips, I made the right choice, this kid... I wish I could see him grow up. I wish... "Why do I have to die? I don't know. Why do we all have? Its unfair, its sad, and its lonely, but it is what it is. Someday, your time will come, and when it comes you'll understand". That time the boy didn't stopped me. His little hands let me go, and I didn't look behind. He cried.

That day, was a lonely day. the sun was saying goodbye, and for the last time I wanted to go to a special place. The place I went when I was a kid, to see the sunset. The woods weren't far, for the last time I climbed the tree and watching the sundown all I could think about was, how many opportunities I lost. I can't get those back, but I can create new oportunities for those that will come after me, that little boy, earlier that day, everything I had, I put it under his name, he would do well. I knew he would, if I were his father, I'd be proud. I climbed my way down, it was getting dark and I had another place to go. 

The kids stopped playing as soon as they saw me, I had always yelled at them, but this time I wouldn't yell at them. Their faces showed their feelings. "Kids, I have something for you." They came closer, prepared to be scolded, Inside a box, all the presents they had asked for their parents, but couldn't receive, I bought it all. As an apologize for not being good enough for them. A little girl holded my coat. "Sir, why are you giving us this?" she looked honestly curious, since I had never showed any kind of affection toward them. I answered them honestly. "I'm dying, today is my last day, so I wanted to give you all something as a way to apologize for my bad manners." The kids looked to each other and agreed silently. The older one came to me. "We'll forgive you, but do you really have to die now? Play with us and you'll feel better. I'm sure about that." the kid said. "How old are you kids? What are your names?" I've never asked them any of that. True be said. 

"I'm Kwon Jiyoung, that one is Lee Seunghyun, and him is Dong Youngbae, his name is weird but he's my best friend, the girl is Park Bom, and the one hiding behind her is Park Sandaram they are sisters, the girl over there is Lee Chaerin, she is Lee Seunghyun's sister and the last is Gong Minzy, she was adopted, she's my best friend new sister." The little kid says, so these are the kids I used to pick on. Those kids reminded me something else. "Kids, when I die, a little boy is going to live in my house, he's lonely and he has no friends, he doesn't have parents, and he is very shy, so I want to ask you to be his friend and play with him to me. I know I was a bad for you. But the boy is good, so can't you let him be your friend too? His name is Choi Seunghyun. Please be good to him. Deal?" The older boy shaked my hand sealing our contract. 

That was the last time I played, and the first time I did it in a long time. Before going home, I watched the full moon. I was born in a full moon too, funny. That night, for the last time I heard the sound of the raindrops falling on the rooftop, Frank Sinatra All Alone was playing the moment the glass of wine fell from my hands and hit the white floor. My last thoughts were.." Being alone is too sad. I wish I had someonw by my side now.."