Knock Knock Knock-Knock Knock

“Unni?

Do you want to build a snowman?

Come on let’s go and play.

I never see you anymore

Come out the door

Its like you’ve gone away.”

Little Soojung sang ask she knocked on her older sister’s door. She hasn’t seen her for weeks and it was worrying, as well as bothering, her. They were the best of friends until her sister stopped playing with her, stopped talking to her, and moved out of their shared bedroom into her own, which she hasn’t stepped out of since.

“We used to be best buddies

And now we’re not

I wish you would tell me why.”

She didn’t know why they had stopped communicating. The last memory she had of doing something fun with her sister was playing out in the snow and building a snowman in the midst of their snowy fun.

“Do you want to build a snowman?

It doesn’t have to be a snowman.”

By this point Soojung was desperate to see her sister.

“Go away Soojung”

Only to be crushed.

“Okay bye,” a teary eyed little Jung muttered as she trudged away from her sisters door.

*~*~*~*

An older Soojung came up to her sister’s door with an excited smile on her face since it was snowing out.

Knock Knock Knock-Knock Knock

“Do you want to build a snowman?

Or ride our bikes along the halls?

I think some company is overdue

I started talking to the pictures on the walls”

“Hang in there Ssul” she said while laying on the couch winking to the painting above her.

“It’s getting kinda lonely

All these empty rooms

Just watching the hours tick by.”

Soojung was extremely bored now. She did everything there was to do at their home. What else could she do but sit in front of the clock making ticking noises along with the machine?

*~*~*~*

A teenaged Soojung ran down the hall to bid farewell to her parents, who were going on a business trip to America. Her father was going to a convention as a representative for the company he worked at, as deemed it fit for his wife to join him as well. Since both his daughters were responsible enough, he was okay with leaving them at home on their own.

As Soojung passed her sister’s room, she slowed down, debating whether or not she should knock and ask if she was going to say goodbye to their parents. After a few seconds, she decided not to. She had given up hope of her sister coming out of her room a few years ago after knocking on that door year after year. She still has to fight the urge to knock whenever she passes the door.

“I’ll see you next week.” Soojung said as she hugged her parents, who were currently still packing.

=====

Not even 5 days later, she had received a call from the police saying her parents died in a plane crash on the way to America. It felt like her whole world just came crashing down. She hasn’t seen her sister in over 10 years, and now her own parents had passed. To Soojung, she had nobody left in her life. Only her sister was her source of light. A very very dim source of light.

After hours of crying on the floor, she stood up and walked to her sister’s room. She told her that their parents had died in the plane crash on their way to America. She told her how lonely she felt now, and how she wished to see her again. After giving the day and time of their parents funeral (which she had worked out with the police), she asked her if she was coming to the funeral, only to not receive an answer in return.

=====

It was the day of the funeral. Her father’s co-workers and friends were all there. People from her neighborhood, and relatives attended as well. But not her sister. Never in her life had she felt disappointed in her sister until she stood next to her parent’s coffins with the priest. She cried not only with grief, but with disappointment in her sister.

But being the person she was, she couldn’t bring herself to blame her older sister.

*~*~*~*

Soojung trudged through the halls of her home until she reached her sister’s room. Heaving a little sigh she knocked. Knock knock knock. It wasn’t the same happy and energetic knock she used to have when she was younger. Her knock was filled with sadness and grief, as was her heart.

“Unnie?

Please, I know you’re in there.

People are asking where you’ve been.

They say, ‘Have courage’

And I’m trying to.

I’m right out here for you,

Just let me in.”

Her voice was filled with sadness and sounded heavy. She could feel the tears coming up to her eyes, but forced them back down. She didn’t want to cry, not yet.

“We only have each other,

It’s just you and me.

What are we going to do?”

Her voice was starting to crack now. She leaned against the door and slid down to the floor, the pain in her heart was getting too much for her to handle. Wanting to lift the heavy feeling off her chest, she said the one phrase that alway got her sister to play with her when they were little. The one phrase that she used to coax her sister out of her room. Putting all her emotions into that one seven letter phrase, she forced it out of before she broke down crying.

“Do you want to build a snowman?”