I was staring at him again—a pair of eyes barely blinking so as not to miss a single moment. He was laughing, it was neither loud nor boisterous but it was so bright—head slightly thrown back, displaying a column of long pale neck for the world to see. The camera was watching him as closely as I did, but he paid no heed to it. To other people it might seem that he was unaware of the recording device, but I knew better. He was acting—because after years of living under constant surveillance he had learnt how to show himself in the best light, how to keep his image in check without even thinking. He was pretending to be oblivious, but he was painfully conscious of the mechanical eye—overly conscious that he only let it document him in his best angles as he tried so hard to hide his flaws. Unlike the camera, my eyes and brain wouldn’t be able to record every second of him perfectly before keeping it safe in the tape. It didn’t matter, because the fragility of my memory only made watching him became even more so precious.

I was lost in the sound of his tinkling laughter when he suddenly slightly turned his face at my direction. I didn’t know if he actually noticed the presence of my gaze on him, or if it was just a mere coincidence. Our eyes met—and yes—I was caught red-handed. It was a meeting of extremely short period, yet a fleeting second was enough for me to understand what was conveyed in his dark brown orbs through that cold glare. I knew him too well to recognize a warning perfectly. It was true that we could understand what each other was feeling through a simple look only, especially me about his. Defeated, I obeyed and averted my gaze away as he turned his back on me, effectively blocking my line of sight from the view of his smiling face.

A few minutes of torture later, of looking at everywhere but him, I just couldn’t stop myself—daring to steal a glance at the backside of his slim figure. His shoulder was once again shaking in laughter at whatever his conversation partner was saying, the sound of his joy that kept tickling my ears couldn’t be blocked. As I stared longingly at his back I sighed, remembering his wordless warning. Although I knew, I just couldn’t help it.

You are not mine.

Sometimes it felt like he was just trying to torture me. I glanced at him, he was smiling while the two youngest were clinging to him. He laughed when Junjin kissed his chubby cheeks, hugged Andy back when the maknae wrap his arms around him. He put his arm around Dongwan’s shoulder, he played with Minwoo’s ears. I could only stand in the corner—watching.

Among all the others he treated me so differently, to the point that sometimes I wondered if he truly hated me. But to tell the truth, I was used to it. Too used to it to the point I felt kind of pathetic about it. It was not that he hated skin ship, it was just he hated the skin ship from me.  Although strangely, it never deterred me from trying—he should have known that I loved a good challenge.

He seemed to be in a pretty good mood today, smiling and joking with everybody else. His smile was dazzling—if only it was directed to me I would be flying to the cloud nine, for sure. I wondered if I should try my luck today, perhaps I could steal a hug, or even a kiss.

I advanced to where he was standing, talking excitedly with Minwoo about something I didn’t bother to listen to. I walked quietly behind him, like a predator planning to ambush its prey. Jinnie looked at my direction, raising one of his eyebrows questioningly at my stance. I stared back at him, putting a forefinger on my lips, signaling him to stay quiet. He smirked mischievously and nodded, I knew I could always count on him at times like this. He whispered to Andy who was now watching us, the younger gave me a thumb up—I snorted, those two, they would only support me if I was about to give them a good show.

I stalked behind Hyesung and gave him a surprise back hug.

He was stunned momentarily, before struggling to get off from me. He started throwing curses left and right. I kept my hold on him, trying to give him a kiss on his soft cheeks. He looked at me with horror in his eyes, before elbowing my abdomen hardly, with his full power. That knocked the breath out of me. I crouched in pain, the place where his elbow made contact was burning and it would bruise for sure. Certainly, he was overreacting a bit?

I looked up at him from the floor, he was staring down at me—ire and fury in his narrowed eyes.

“Get away from me,” he hissed venomously, full of hatred. His eyes and the expression on his beautiful face were icy, not a single mercy was given to me who was doubling over in pain. The rest of the members were laughing loudly at the show, only Andy could stop giggling for a few seconds to ask me whether I was alright. I didn’t answer.

I stared at his back, his footsteps rushing away from me. The look of disgust in his face played on repeat in my mind. His words echoed in my ears, reminding me of my place, putting me in my rightful place—yes, as far away as possible from him.

You are not mine.

I arrived home completely exhausted, Gomdori barked happily as soon as I opened my apartment’s door, wagging his tail to greet me. I picked him up and scratched the fur behind his ears as he excitedly tried to my face.

“Have you been missing daddy, Gomdor-ah?” I chuckled. It was nice having someone, even if it was a dog, completely happy having me around him after being thoroughly ignored by certain somebody the whole day. I gave Gomdori some dog treats and played with him for a while. Poor guy must be bored and lonely when I was busy out all day. Soon after he finished eating, he walked away to the corner where his bed was located and curled there, seemingly tired and ready to rest. I patted his head, deciding to follow suit and go to bed after a quick shower.

The hot water felt good on my skin and tired muscles, it was so relaxing that I was completely sleepy when I got out of the bathroom. I was drying my hair while letting out a big yawn as my cellphone on the side table vibrated with a new message. I was tempted to ignore it, groaning as I stared at my bed and the fluffy pillows that were inviting me to lay my head and body on. But my phone kept flashing stubbornly, and my gut feeling told me to open the message or else I’d regret it. The text that I received only consisted of 3 words: ‘bring’, ‘ramyun’ and ‘now’. It was short, cold, bossy, and aggravating—but it made me smile anyway. I didn’t need to see who the sender was to know whom it was from, his face already flickering in my mind.

The thought of sleeping was instantly erased from my mind, traces of sleepiness vanished away as I quickly wore a sweatpants over my boxers, randomly choosing a T-shirt from the pile and wore a hooded jumper before heading out of the room. I decided not to even bother with my messy hair and cover