"Adenine pairs with Thymine.... and has 2 hydrogen bonds between them... Wait, no. 3 hydrogen bonds. Cytosine and Guanine form a base pair with 2 hydrogen bonds." I tried to recall out loud, as I closed my eyes. I referred back to my Genomics notes and found out I got it wrong, again. I glanced at the clock as my feet tapped to no constant rhythm. 

I'd rather do anything than copy a whole chapter of the Biology textbook. Did I mention that the pictures have to be copied as well? Imagine drawing out the double-helix DNA strands more than once! Yes, that tutor of mine is crazy and believe me, he even admitted that once. 

I skimmed through the notes and tried my hardest to retain all the info I read just minutes before. It's almost eight any moment now, and I decided not to panic and tried to calm down before my last minute revision go to waste. I got this. It will all end in a breeze and I'll get to enjoy my lunch without any worry. 

Taking deep breaths helped me for a bit, but then, the clock strikes eight and the door opened, which made my heart jump a little. I turned around expecting my tutor putting on a small smirk as he enters but I was greeted with a completely different person. It was none other than my sister's tutor, Lee Hyun Woo, but he insisted on calling him Jo. Jo stood there by the open door and only then did we realise that we were staring at each other. I stared because his presence took me by surprise but as to why he stared back alike at me as though he swallowed his words which he intended to say, remained a question to me. 

"What happened to Mr. Kim and why are you here?" Only on these occasions do I acknowledge my tutor's name with formality. I was about to heave a sigh of relief at the fact that there was a high possibility for not sitting for the quiz but remembering how I prayed for something to happen to him just minutes ago, I felt a small tinge of guilt inside of me.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, Mr. Kim is not in the condition to tutor you today and so I would like to kindly invite you to join your sister for today's lesson." Jo calmly answered.

Not in the condition? That phrase bothered me. As far as I know about my tutor, he's not the kind who would skips lessons for reasons that would be considered normal for us. Once, he got the swine flu and his lessons still carried on through Skype. He had a bad cough then and despite his fever, he communicated through writing on a whiteboard. He is not normal, I assure you. Anyhow, whatever condition he is in, it has got to be very bad and a lot more worse than just feeling unwell. Before I knew it, I felt bad for praying for something to happen to him because my instinct tells me that was what exactly happened.

"Today's lesson won't be anything in depth. We'll just be discussing about general matters so bringing yourself is enough." Jo's deep voice brought me back to reality and just as he said, I walked over to Unni's room empty-handed but my mind certainly wasn't empty.

Somehow, I feel like I'm becoming more like Gongchan who is always in a daze. I remembered how he'll just be in his own world, staring into blank space and I think I can slowly start to understand him a little bit. I was wrong to have about it before. Speaking about Gongchan, I remembered Baro's reminder and set myself to ponder about the upcoming birthday party, pushing my curious thoughts about my tutor aside.

On the other hand, lessons with Jo was interesting as we talked about the different religions in the world, before moving on to childhood and parenting which made Unni and I a bit emotional but we tried to take a balanced view. Hearing a bit of Jo's life was intriguing as well. Despite his young age, he sure have went through a lot. One important lesson I learnt was that how we have to be open-minded so as not to suffer from our own restrictions that we put onto ourselves either knowingly or not. As what Jo said, we have to "unlearn to learn" and to never put down someone else's opinion before hearing their explanation and how they come to their judgement. Something for me to ponder about definitely.

After the lesson which ended rather earlier than usual, Unni and I ate our hard-earned lunch together and I told her about Gongchan's birthday party next Monday. Boram Unni has a knack for organising things well and she didn't disappoint me this time round either.

"Why don't we hold the party at Teentop's crib in the late afternoon? We can always easily run back to our rooms if Omma or Appa was to reach home earlier than usual in order to avoid suspicion. Besides, we won't need to ask his permission as we will still be in our house technically. We can just throw a simple one so we don't have to dwell on decorations and whatnot. Just prepare gifts and simple finger foods." Unni suggested after a quick ponder.

As Unni spoke, I nodded my head eagerly, agreeing with everything she mused. I sometimes wonder how she can plan things so well and never forget to consider the small things. It's definitely reassuring to have her lead The Bleep Team.

"Sounds real good to me. Thanks Unni! I'll let the rest know!" I exclaimed as I finished my food and rushed to my bedroom.

My lessons have ended for the day but Unni would be stuck with Jo for 2 more hours. As soon as I reached my room, I dialled Baro's number and luckily his school has already ended and Gongchan had councillor duties to take care of. He gathered the rest of the B1A4 guys and on loud speaker, we started discussing about the surprise party after much jokes and catching up. I like how they go with the flow and easily agreed to our plans. We even managed to distribute our jobs. They will take care of bringing Gongchan over and will be the one talking to Teentop. I will take care of simple decor with my brothers and Teentop will be doing the food. Jinyoung Oppa wanted to try baking a cake so he's coming over in the morning to bake a cake with Unni and me. It turned out Jinyoung had already planned to be absent on that day. 

Finally, the day we were waiting for had arrived. Jinyoung Oppa came over but due to all our lack of baking skills, we have failed terribly. In the end, we just decided to buy a chocolate ice cream cake from a bakery a few blocks away. We sent Jinyoung Oppa for that errand while Unni and I cleaned up the mess we did in the kitchen. Hyun Seung Hyun came home shortly after that and we got started on the party decor. We went out from the kitchen's door to the backyard and entered the garage where we entered Teentop's underground crib. I've only went in once with Baro Oppa and the rest. Making my way down there alone with my siblings was more nerve-wrecking than what I expected. The four of us knew that Teentop has always been the ones keeping their eyes on us but we've never really talked much to each other. And so, our awkward adventures began.

Ricky greeted us first as each of us reached the end of the stairs. L.Joe and C.A.P who were on the couch stood up at our presence. We did our greetings with complete bows and they did the same. We fell back to an awkward silence before Boram Unni took the lead in thanking them for letting us have the party there. 

"It is our pleasure. It's been a very long time since we had a birthday party." replied Ricky. I wondered then if they even celebrated birthdays before ever since they worked under Appa.  

"Please come in." C.A.P. gestured us to the sofas.

"I'll go help out in the kitchen for the food," said Boram Unni before she headed towards the kitchen where Niel and Chunji were busy preparing food for the party. I looked around and realised that Changjo wasn't in sight. I pushed that thought aside and we started to blow up the balloons that Hyunseung Oppa brought over. L.Joe and C.A.P. helped us silently and I could see how Seunghyun started fidgeting around to endure the silence that he hated a lot. After a very long time though, we finally broke the ice and could manage a small conversation, mostly talking about school and B1A4 who were our mutual friends.

We decided to paste the colourful balloons around their crib and as I struggled to get this balloon at the high corner of the wall, I saw a hand taking the balloon away from me and securing it firmly at its correct place. I turned my head and saw Changjo up close. His once chubby cheeks has disappeared and his jawline perfectly lined his face. His face reminded me of our old times when we were friends. Oh, how much I miss those times but now, we aren't like that anymore. After that unforgettable incident, it may not be near possible for us to be friends again.

"What does he see me as now?" I wondered to myself as I continued to stare at his face.

Only when we exchanged glances did I take a step back and moved away. I could control myself better if I'm not near him. I guess it would be the same for him too. Just right at that moment, Jinyoung Oppa arrived with his cake, together with Ricky who escorted him from outside. 

"Guys, they're coming!" announced Jinyoung as soon as he set down the cake. Everyone hustled up and got into their hiding position while Jinyoung and L.Joe prepared the candles. The lights were out and only the light from the candles shined. 

We heard footsteps going down the stairs and though it was dark, I could see Gongchan's silhouette with a white blindfold while the others were holding his sides. As soon as the blindfold was off his eyes, everyone shouted 'SURPRISE!' in synchronise as though we practiced. After that, we sang the traditional birthday song as Jinyoung Oppa brought the lit-up cake towards Gongchan and with a wide grin spread over the birthday boy's face, he blew it off before we clapped. I could even hear whistles and I couldn't help but smile. I was glad that I was happy.

It was dark back again and someone the lights back on. I was standing by the sofa and I could see the rest circling around Gongchan and started to give him friendly punches. It started with just B1A4 but my brothers did not want to miss the fun and soon, Niel and L.Joe joined in as well. I laughed at the scene but I stopped, seeing how Changjo and Boram Unni stood frozen across me. Shock was written on all their faces and they looked at me. Taken aback, I could feel my heart beating faster and when I sensed a presence behind me, I realised that they were not looking at me but in fact, behind me.

I slowly turned around, and I gasped at the sight. I froze. There, at the widely opened black door, stood a man hunched back with cuts on his rough skin and his clothes dirty. The laughters which filled the air subsided showing how the rest must have grasped the situation by then. That very man was Appa. My mind went blank and could feel tears forming in my eyes as I tried to hold myself together. I stared in disbelief as Appa stood by us, silent and putting up a face I couldn't read, not knowing what to expect next.

 Stay tuned ! 

Much love,

kimchi_ramen

Photo credit to me.