The first drabble was quite a light and funny one and I hope all of you enjoyed it:) We're going to go to the complete opposite end of the emotional spectrum now so prepare yourselves. As you may or may not know, it has been confirmed that Sooyoung is dating Jung Kyung Ho and I wish them all the best. However, I can't help feeling a little sad, so this story came to my mind. 

 “Time of death, 23:53, 25^th December, 2013. Cause of death, drug overdose. We are arresting you for possession of illegal drugs and murder.”

“But… but… I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean to kill someone. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I thought I put a little ecstasy… just a little, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

“No excuses. You’re under arrest. Keep your mouth shut until we get to the police station.”

*

Ring Ring! Ring Ring!

Jessica let out a groan and pulled the coverlet over her head, squeezing her eyelids together as much as possible.

Ring Ring!

Obviously the person was very persistent and the phone continued to ring, its echoes resounding in Jessica’s already very sensitive head.

Pulling back the coverlet with a sigh of resignation but refusing to open her eyes, she reached out a hand and d for her phone.

Ring Ring! Ring Ring!

Jessica was becoming more and more irritated by the loud noise as her fingers grasped aimlessly about the bedside table.

Finally her hand closed around a rectangular object and she clicked on it, only to hear a lively commentary by a television broadcaster in response.

Ring Ring!

Jessica almost tore her hair in frustration and resorted to opening her eyes although they were smaller than the slits on top of a piggy bank. Squinting against the sharp glare of the sun that still managed to pierce through the curtains, she grabbed the right object and pressed answer.

“What?” she almost screamed in anger down the phone. Her annoyance had soared, first by been woken up by her phone so early in the morning and secondly, by the bad turn of events so early in the day.

“Jessi” whined a voice down the phone, “That’s not the first thing you say to your best friend when she calls you.”

Jessica could imagine the pout forming on her best friend’s face at the moment and rolling her eyes in exasperation she seethed, voice dripping in sarcasm, “Oh, then what do you want me to say? Good morning Miyoungie, it’s such a beautiful day isn’t it? How are you feeling this morning?”

Tiffany wrinkled her nose, “Stop being sarcastic Jessi. And don’t call me Miyoungie. Only my TaeTae can call me that.”

Jessica let out a sigh, temper running short, “Suit yourself. Now why did you ring me so early in the morning?”

Tiffany giggled, “Don’t tell me I’m not allowed to check up on how my best friend is feeling. Plus, it’s not early, it’s already 10am.”

Jessica ran a hand through her unruly locks, “It’s early for me, alright? And don’t even bother asking how I feel.”

Before Tiffany could say something sympathetic as she had been doing for the past few weeks, Jessica butted in, “Now, why did you call me Miyoungie? You never call me without a reason.”

Tiffany laughed, “You know me too well Jessi. But, don’t you know what day it is today?”

Jessica shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, “What day is it?”

Tiffany let out a shriek and Jessica heard the clatter of the phone as it dropped to the ground. A few scuffles later, she heard Tiffany’s exaggerated gasp of utter horror.

“What? Jessica, you don’t even know what day it is?” she questioned in a shocked tone.

Jessica nodded to herself, “Mmmmm…”

Tiffany felt like smacking her head against the wall, she had never thought that the incident would affect her this much, but looking at things, it had, “It’s Christmas Jessi. Christmas!”

Jessica replied simply, “Oh!”

Tiffany let out a gasp as if she were a dying fish, “Is that all you can say, Jessi? Oh? It’s Christmas for goodness sake. Christmas! You know with Santa Claus and the elves and the reindeer and the presents and the food and the decorations and the…”

Jessica cut her off quickly, “Yes, yes I know that. I’m not dumb Miyoung.”

Tiffany frowned, “It’s Tiffany, not Miyoung. Anyway, we, well TaeTae and me were wondering if you would like to go out with us tonight. Like a Christmas party. It’ll be lots of fun!”

Jessica exhaled through , “Tiffany, no. I’m not ready yet.”

But Tiffany was not one to easily let go, “But Jessi, it’ll be so much fun. You’ll get to take your mind off things for a while.”

Jessica remained adamant, “I don’t need fun. No is no.”

Tiffany continued her convincing, “You need to go out Jessi, you haven’t done anything social in… hmmmm… let me count… 1…2…3…4…5...”

Jessica let out a loud groan drowning out the rest of Tiffany’s counting, “Stop counting Tiffany! I’m not going and that’s that. No more convincing, okay?”

Tiffany put on her aegyo voice and began to beg, “It won’t be the same without you Jessi. We need you…”

Jessica hung up, not wanting to hear the rest of Tiffany’s aegyo filled speech. As much as she appreciated her best friend caring about her wellbeing, she didn’t want their help. She was better off alone.

Throwing herself back against the bed, she looked up at the ceiling. She hadn’t slept well last night, or the night before, or the night before that. In fact, ever since that incident, she’d barely managed to get over two hours of sleep a night. And it had really taken a toll on her body.

Beep!

Jessica turned her attention back to the phone and gave it a death glare as if it would simply disintegrate into a pile of ashes but upon second thoughts, opened the message.

[From Miyoungie]

Hi Jessi,

The party starts at 7 so I’ll pick you up at 6. Wear something pretty^_^

Jessica let out a moan and threw the pillow across the room, watching as it bounced off the wall and fell to the carpet with a thump. She should have known her best friend was going to refuse to not let her go to the party. Seeing that she was not going to be able to return to her sleep, Jessica padded her way towards the bathroom and looked at her reflection. She had never looked worse. Dark, swollen eye bags sat beneath her eyes, eyes which had previously been sparkling with life but were now bleary and bloodshot from countless nights of crying herself to sleep. Her chestnut hair was no longer shiny like the plumage of a kestrel and hung in limp strands from her head. Her skin was an unhealthy pallor and her cheeks were sunken.

Reaching for her toothbrush, she squeezed out some mint-flavoured toothpaste.

It was Christmas so she should be happy but she was not. For all the years before, she had always looked forward to Christmas just like Tiffany and all the other people had. She spent the whole day celebrating and having fun, even not regretting getting out of bed before dawn. But now, it was different. When she thought of Christmas, there were only sad memories, she linked it with her. Her birthday was on Christmas and she could never forget that.

She knew that she wouldn’t be able to be the one to greet her with a smile, a happy birthday and a gift, to cook for her despite her less than satisfactory cooking skills, to feed her, to go out with her, to enjoy each other’s company, to kiss one another, to sleep together, to share their days with each other. She was already too late for that. She had someone else. Someone else to do all that for her. She didn’t need her, never did and never will.

Jessica sighed and rinsed . It had been some time ago but everything was imprinted clearly in her mind. For once, she wished she had bad memory so she could forget about everything, let it all become a haze, foggy and muddled. But as much as she tried, she couldn’t and it still felt like yesterday when that incident had occurred. Her pain and suffering had not dulled since then, in fact, every morning, it seemed to come back with renewed vigour, callously eating away at her tortured soul.

Sitting down with her parents and sister who had plastered cheerful smiles on their faces at her appearance, she tried her best to eat, but each bite she took felt like a solid leaden lump and she ended up pushing her plate back and excusing herself. There was nothing wrong with the food, in fact all of the dishes were her absolute favourite, but now, she had no appetite. Just a bite could already make her feel more than full. She knew that her family thought something was wrong but she chose not to say anything. Best to let them be kept in the dark.

Jessica locked her bedroom door and curled herself up on the windowsill, peering down into the street below. The streets were pretty much empty and she could see through the tinsel bordered windows, families gathered around tables, merrily laughing, chatting and eating together. Their family had also been like that, every year until this year. She felt bad for breaking her family apart like this, for hurting them, but she was unable to force herself to be happy for their sake. It was like after the incident, all the happiness had been out of her and all she was now was an endless pit of grief, jealousy, rage and despair.

It seemed that she had stayed there for a relatively short amount of time but glancing at the clock, she realised that a few hours had passed. The doorbell rang but she paid no attention, her parents would get it.

Jessica continued to look outside the window when a loud thud resounded against the door.

“Ow!” came a high-pitched exclamation. There was a jangle of keys and the door opened with a pouting Tiffany rubbing her head.

“You could have at least told me your bedroom was locked Jessi” she complained. She approached Jessica and was about to ask how she was feeling when she noted her appearance and immediately shut . She didn’t need to ask to know her best friend was far from recovering.

“Why are you here?” questioned Jessica in an annoyed tone.

Tiffany put a hand over her chest, “Moi? What do you think I’m here for?”

Jessica gave her a deadpan expression, “What?”

Tiffany chuckled, pretending Jessica wasn’t acting in such a cold and grumpy manner, “Helping you dress up for tonight of course. What else?”

Jessica shrugged.

Tiffany pursed her lips and withheld a sigh. Jessica was never like this before the incident. She was always such a sweet, warm and loving girl but her life currently lay in tatters. Tiffany hoped with all her heart that Jessica would be able to put the pieces of her life back together, or even better, find someone to help her do that.

Walking up to the windowsill, Tiffany wrapped her arms around Jessica, trying not to jolt in shock as she felt how tiny and fragile her best friend’s frame had become.

“Come on, let’s choose a dress for you!” Tiffany cheered in an enthusiastic tone, eliciting no response.

Opening Jessica’s wardrobe, Tiffany began looking through the dresses, occasionally holding one up for Jessica to give her opinion on. Her only response was a vacant look.

Tiffany chewed on her lip, Jessica was always had such a good fashion sense and stunning beauty so it was never hard for her to dress up but now it was so difficult. Almost like pulling teeth from a terrified toddler’s mouth. Eventually, she settled on something simple but y, a tight little black dress. After all, you could never go wrong with that on such a gathering.

Shooing Jessica off to the bathroom to change, she began to pick out some makeup products and jewellery. When Jessica came out of the bathroom, Tiffany gave a smile and set to work.

By the time she had finished, it was almost 6pm. Tiffany held a mirror up for Jessica and admired her handiwork. Even though Jessica’s condition had worsened, Tiffany had to say to herself, Jessica still looked beautiful, in a haunting kind of way.

*

Jessica entered the room flanked by Tiffany and Taeyeon. The room was lavishly adorned with glittery silver snowflakes that hung from the ceiling, colourful tinsel threaded about, thousands of twinkling fairy lights, a massive Christmas tree in the middle decorated with hundreds of little trinkets, scented candles floating in tubs of water, life-sized figurines of nutcrackers and snowmen and fake snow sprinkled about on the floor. Although she had originally planned to stick with them the whole night, that was completely overturned. They were a couple of course and after a while of mingling with the hundreds of other people at the party, she managed to lose them amongst the dancing crowd.

Turning around, she desperately tried to find them, but all she could see were the bodies of strangers moving to the music. As she pushed herself through the crowd to find somewhere more peaceful, her eyes caught on a person she never wanted to see in her entire life again. She could feel the inexorable wave of feelings piling on her again.

Jessica needed to forget, desperately so. Her eyes scanned around the room for escape but all she saw were people laughing and dancing with one another. It was futile. She could go nowhere. She was stuck. She couldn’t leave this place.

Sitting herself down at the bar, she decided to ask for a shot of tequila. She needed something strong. If she couldn’t escape, she might as well try to forget. The alcohol would hopefully numb the pain she felt.

The bartender looked at her with lustful eyes, “What would you like pretty?”

Jessica didn’t return his gaze, “A tequila please and make it strong.”

The bartender gave a smirk, “No sweat pretty.”

As the bartender left to do his job, Jessica held a palm against her throbbing head. As much as she wanted to forget her, she couldn’t and she could still she the image of her with her boyfriend, dancing without a care and hands roaming limitlessly across each other’s bodies. It was obvious that both had had too much to drink and she wouldn’t be surprised if they started making out with each other right on the dance floor. The thought of that was almost enough to make her double over with nausea.

At that moment, the bartender returned and struck a pose across the counter, “A shot of tequila my pretty,”

Jessica accepted it wordlessly and eyes latching upon the couple, downed it in one go. As much as she detested seeing the two together, she couldn’t help but feel her eyes drawn to her, it was as if she was a magnet. Even as much as she had destroyed her life, she couldn’t let go of her love for her. She felt the liquor burn but she ignored the sensation. Feeling the tears begin to prickle in her eyes, she set the glass on the table with a loud thud, gripping the glass so tightly that it was almost at the point of breaking.

Jessica turned to the bartender with a steel cold gaze, “Three more shots of tequila please.”

The bartender eye’s widened in surprise, “Woah there pretty, take it easy.”

Nonetheless, he complied to Jessica’s order after a second of meeting her icy glare.

Upon being served the three shots, Jessica drank each of them with surprising speed. She squinted her eyes as her head began to spin and her vision began to blur, however, it was not so blurred that she was not able to make out the two figures still dancing in the centre of the room. It felt as if there was an invisible person with a hammer pounding at her skull and there was the bitter aftertaste of the tequila. It seemed that no matter how much alcohol she drunk, she wouldn’t be able to forget but she didn’t want to give up.

Leaning over the counter, she beckoned to the bartender and slurred, “Give me another two shots”

The bartender was initially alarmed at this request but soon a smirk appeared on his lips as he formulated his plan.

After making the order, she looked back, they were still dancing with no signs of getting tired, eyes locked on one another with passion burning within the depths.

“Your two shots pretty,” motioned the bartender.

Jessica tipped one down instantly as if it were water. At this rate, she was going to go broke and get the worst hangover the next morning but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered after her heart had been broken.

Cradling the second glass in her hand, she watched as they began to body roll and brush against each other’s bodies. As much as she wanted to tear her eyes away, she was unable to do so, there seemed to be an invisible force holding her eyes in that direction.

Lifting the glass to her lips, she sipped slowly, determined to make sure she wouldn’t waste the effects of her last glass of alcohol for tonight. She was not going to drink anymore.

Jessica rolled her tongue against the roof of , strangely the tequila tasted different, almost sweeter, like honey. She thought she must be imagining things so she took another little sip. It seemed she was not. But how did such a bitter drink turn so sweet? Perhaps her only feelings were so bitter and twisted that even a foul tasting drink like tequila could taste heavenly sweet.

After several more sips, the drink was gone and Jessica was craving another but she had no more cash in her wallet. She removed her blazer and placed it on the chair, revealing the figure-hugging, black dress underneath. Why did it suddenly feel so hot? It was as if the temperature in the room had been turned up several hundred degrees. Perhaps the air-con malfunctioned thought Jessica.

She narrowed her eyes as the shaky vision of the two of them still dancing together, arms entwined and looking deeply into each other’s eyes. Then leaning closer to one another, they kissed, lips moving in sync. That was when Jessica totally lost it. Slamming her red clutch down on the table, she clumsily slid off the chair and staggered her way across to the two with nothing else in mind but to tear them apart. Unfortunately, the many shots of tequila she had downed in such a short timeframe were taking its toll and she felt herself losing control of her movements and mind. Shoving people this way and that, she made her unsteady way, like a predator to its kill. Her body swayed tremulously like a piece of paper caught up in a tornado-force wind and her head began to spin more wildly. Jessica fought against the strong urge she had to vomit until nothing came out but bile. It seemed as though the rage was consuming her whole body in flames and the beat of her heart quickened exponentially. Pushing aside all the uncomfortableness, Jessica focused herself on the two as if her sole purpose in life was to pull the two apart.

But just seconds from reaching them, Jessica felt herself falling down to the ground and a series of convulsions and spasms wracked through her delicate body. Slowly, she felt herself sinking into a void of blackness and as hard as she tried to drag herself out, she could just feel her body falling and falling. Before her eyelids fluttered close for the last time, she saw the face of her love looking at her in utmost concern.

“Sica?”

“Sooyoungie” she uttered in a wordless whisper before plunging eternally into the depths of darkness.