Finally the one-shot that all of you readers has been waiting for ages are updated in celebration of Suju’s new album MAMACITA. *YAY*

P.S. I apologize for the long torturous hiatus, but I hope it’s worth the wait and I hope the unique storyline will satisfy you all and my madness for Eunhae/Haehyuk‘s love.

A/N: Rated for PG-17 This fiction may contain some profanity and inappropriate contents that are likely written to corrupt youngsters’ innocence and to cure young adults’ erted brain disease and most of all for entertainment purposes so please don’t continue to read if easily offended. 

Also there might be some grammatical errors because I don’t have a beta T.T

Other than that…

Enjoy^^

*******

Dirty Laundry Boys

Part 1: Of One Aggressive OCD Homo & A Hormone-Raging ert 

(Mokpo City, Korea)

Mom… Dad…

It has been thirteen years since I left home… but don’t worry about me. I am still working in the same old Laundromat. Currently taking a break in the bathroom stall before that old returns back from grocery shopping in 30 minutes. She worked me like a cattle day and night, my backbones ache to every joints of my body from lifting heaps after heaps of clothes, and my fingertips become raw from the extreme exposure of detergent. It was tough but she still fulfill her promise to provide me a free lodging and kept me fed. I couldn’t complain much. I knew I am a disgrace to the both of you.  No money. No house. No girlfriend. No car.     

But something good happened recently. A shabby, Chinese guy by the name of Hankyung joined the hellish labor a few days ago. He spoke broken Korean language and for most of the time, he smile like an idiot when the yelled at him. Thankfully, he lessen some of my heavy workloads —he said the sweatshop in China are ten times worse than this place. His words meant to comfort me but I knew I am going to die, working here for my entire life.

Yesterday, I accidently found a magazine hidden behind the fat boy--Shindong’s locker. It’s a 2008 summer edition magazine that consists a photo collection of my goddess, Aoi Sora. I only managed to look through the first two pages—I couldn’t help it--my hands were shaking as I glide my eyes through the wet, flawless skin of her curvaceous body that is clad in a skimpy floral bikini—she’s lying on the sandy beach with a seductive grin on her face. I would die if I ever met a girl as lovely as her—

If you two are watching over me, please bless my life with good fortune.

*****

“Damn—“ The Blonde-haired boy bite his lips to silent himself from making too much noise that will draw any unwanted attention to his sinful act. “Uggh--I’m so close---so close to---“

“Ya! You ing monkey-!“  A loud, obnoxious voice stormed through the bathroom stall.

Eunhyuk immediately pry open his eyes and stop his right hand from his hot throbbing manhood that is practically screaming for release. His ears perk up and his body become tense by the passing seconds, while his inner self is panicking to think of a comeback plan before he gets caught.

Goddamn it! What am I going to do now?

The Blonde glance down at the magazine in his left hand in guilt.

Faster! Think of something faster---if he gets in here your life will be over officially!  

Taking a sigh, he quickly stuff the book behind the ledge of the toilet tank.  

“I know you’re in there—get the out or I’ll drag you out by myself.”

The person shouted again, then thrash a rough kick that almost break the door off the hinges. The door slowly opens to expose a groaning young man on the toilet with his pants hanging low around his ankles, clutching to his abdomen in distress.

“Ohhh—god! Damn that smells!” Shindong cringe his face in disgust and step back, pinching his nose. “What did you ing ate?!!”

Eunhyuk lift his face up to smile bitterly at the chubby guy who studies him, deviously.

“Canned tuna and kimchi bibimbap.”

 “Ya—what the hell? You better clean up after you’re done!”

The Blonde reply back affirmatively while suppressing the lingering pain in his groins as he continue to play along with his brilliant diarrhea act to fool his fellow co-worker.

Shindong is witty when it comes to eating, the tip of his tongue can determine whether the food is gourmet or not with just one taste, but other than that his brain is practically an empty nutshell. So this stupid plan of Eunhyuk’s seems to work—perfectly.

“D-did you want something from me?” Eunhyuk reach over to pull off a few strands of toilet paper.

“Ah! I almost forget—“ He narrowed his eyebrows and went on in a furious tone. “You took my magazine, didn’t you?!!”

“What? Wh-what are you talking about?!” The Blonde swiftly yank up his trouser and wobble his legs over to the sink.

Towering over the shorter male who is washing his hands, Shindong then exclaims with red-tinted cheeks and heavy breaths.

“You monkey! You know damn well what I am talking about! That magazine—you know—the 2008 summer edition one! The one that I knew you’ve been dying to get but can’t afford to buy!!”

Rolling his eyes, Eunhyuk cast him a clueless expression and shrug his shoulders at the livid man that literally died in a verge of embarrassment for explaining the magazine to the Blonde in a non-explicit way. But Shindong cannot bring himself to confess that it’s a magazine that he has simply hidden for his own personal use. Frankly, to satisfy his lonely ion.

It’s the pride of a man. A man’s dignity to declare that he is simply not a ert who solely needs to own a collection of some sort to stay alive.

But the ing magazine does not contain just any pictures of y women—it’s ing Aoi Sora! The ultimate AV idol that gives a normal guy a heart attack with her angelic eye smile. A massive nosebleed if she gets into her s-line cat pose. Now, to imagine if she is sprawling half- in the beach, water droplets and hot speckles of sand clinging to her silky smooth skin and those huge melon-like s hugging tightly against a two-piece swimsuit.

To describe her in one phrase: That babe is a man-killer!

“You--you’re crazy! I—I don’t have anything that belongs to you!”

“Ya! Don’t you dare lie to me, monkey !” Shindong grab the Blonde by his arm to stop him from leaving. “I can tell you’re lying through your ty acting. My tongue can still taste the spicy rice cake that my mother made yesterday!”

“Goddamn it! I’m not you—I don’t remember what I ate that upset my stomach!” Eunhyuk begins to panic, after he realized his diarrhea act has fail him. “I didn’t steal from you!” He continue to protest, shaking his head in denial.

“Stop telling me you didn’t—I only have one copy!” The gluttony boy break into tears, the snots make their ways down his nostrils; while his co-worker pry himself free.

But the so called man with the last ounce of dignity refuse to let the younger male go without retrieving back his precious treasure. A prized possession that the chubby guy consider to be as valuable as the King’s delicacies.

“Please don’t force me---!” Shindong wailed, pouncing at the Blonde-haired guy who manage to dodge his cannon ball attack but end up with a sobbing wet slug clinging to his leg. “I don’t want to hurt you! Give it back to me--”

“Ashi—let go!” Eunhyuk grits his teeth, struggling to shove the dead weight off of his leg yet to no avail, it only makes the older male clamp on to him much tighter. “Are you deaf? I said I don’t have it!”

Suddenly a gust of cool air sweep against his lower backside. The Blonde turn his head aside to catch the glimpse of his pants being yank down to the point where his boxers is showing.

“Ya! Let go of me! You pulling my pants down—you fat !”

“No, I won’t until you return it back to me!”

“For the nth time, I don’t ing have it!”

“Pl-please give it back to me! Eunhyuk—I beg you!”

“Noo--!!!”

“Then I’ll keep pulling your pants down!” Shindong threatened, glaring at him with beady eyes.

“Fine! Do it!” Eunhyuk shout back, challenging the wimpy guy to play out his final trump card. “Strip me—goddamn it!”

As soon as those words left his mouth, the situation becomes uglier at the moment an innocent Chinese guy decides to barge into the bathroom. Staring up and down at the two frozen men in an awkward position, the duo blankly stares back at the shocked Asian man.

Hankyung’s brain could barely take in the situation after seeing Eunhyuk lying on the floor with his legs wide open, and pants torn down to his knees. If that’s not bad enough, Shindong’s face is hovering awkwardly over the young man’s crotch area that is concealed in a boxers.

The troublemakers send each other a telepathy. What a perfect timing—it’s Hankyung!

They immediately sprang apart and start crying to themselves in disbelief that someone actually caught them in such a ed up action just for a magazine.

“Umm—Sorry! Sorry!” The part-timer uttered, while avoid making eye contact with either one of them. “I’ll just—go inside.” He motion his hand to indicate the bathroom stall that he will be using while receiving death glares from the duo.

The moment he shuts the door, he whistle gleefully to distract himself from thinking that there are actually two people making out inside the bathroom. And those people are his male co-workers—never in his damn life has the idea of them being homouals actually pass through his mind while working along with them.

I must be careful not to interfere with their love-making.

Hankyung stroll out nonchalantly and make his way to the sink. Standing in deep thoughts, he keep his field of vision to the front and drown his face in cold water before staring up at the mirror reflection of his flushed self. He can still sense the atmosphere swarming in utter awkwardness and this is the worst way to build relationships with co-workers especially when he needs to rely on them to survive in this foreign place.

If only I can hold my bladder for an hour longer then maybe I might not have to be involved in this crap. 

Shindong and Eunhyuk exchange a disgusted look with one another and stutter, “Umm…Han-Hankyung—it’s not what--“

“It’s ok—Wǒ méi yǒu kàn dào rènhé dōngxī (I didn’t see anything). “ He suddenly interrupted in Mandarin, just in time to cut off their explanation. The Chinese guy then grab both of their hands together and smile faintly at the duo. “Ài qíng shì mángmù dì (love is blind).”

“What the hell are you yammering about?” Eunhyuk tuck his hand out of his grip while dying to clarify to Hankyung that nothing ual happened but a stupid fight over a magazine. And due to their language barrier, the Blonde could only find himself screaming, “I understand what you said! Speak in Hangul!”

Then Shindong butts in and push the Blonde-haired guy aside to explain on his behalf after seeing his futile attempt.

“Ya—listen up, China Boy! We—don’t speak Chinese and—we’re not in that relationship!!! “ The chubby man grab the part-timer by the collar, roaring like a beast to make his point clear.

Yet, the poor transfer student only hear a bunch of angry ramblings in Korean that sounds like ‘if you don’t shut up about what you saw before, we’ll kill you!’

“Is that really going to work?” Eunhyuk observe the pale-faced man struggling under Shindong’s rock-hard grip. “We’ll be doom if he told the ing boss about this---and you know--she’s a !”

“Won’t you shut up! That’s my mother you’re talking about! And besides—this kid here only knows how to say ‘he’s hungry’ in Hangul. He can’t do much harm even if he wants to.”

Hankyung glance at his two co-worker in fear, not being able to read what they were discussing about except something about him being hungry. The Chinese man start making assumption.

Are they going to starve me to death if I say a word about this?

“Wǒ dāyìng…Wǒ dāyìng wǒ bù huì gàosù rènhé rén!” (I promised—I promised I won’t tell anyone!)

He exclaimed, quickly finding his strength to fend off the chubby man and bolt out of the bathroom with Eunhyuk and Shindong chasing after him, shouting,

“GOD DAMN IT! WE’RE NOT GAY!!!”

*****

 (Gangnam District)

“Mina-shi, raise your chin an inch higher. Angle your hip a little more to the right.”

 “Ya—this posture makes my shoulder and back all stiff. I’m not doing this anymore.” The Redhead whines, falling out of her pose. She stomp back to her chair and her manager readily bring her a cup of tea, while the stylist stand beside her to reapply the powder to her cheeks.

“Aigoo—Mina-shi. This photo shoot is crucial to your album promotion. You can’t skip work today.” Her manager plead, taking the cup from her and place it at the table before massaging young woman’s shoulders to calm her down.

Brushing the hands away, Mina glares at her manager and roll her eyes.

“Are you trying to work me to death?”

“Of course not! So why don’t we try something else? I’ll talk to the photographer, ok?”

She take a sigh and wave her hand to give the manager her consent.

Scurrying to the set, the manager went to negotiate while the Redhead take a sip of her tea. From the corner of her eyes, she catch a glimpse of a shimmering Brunette strutting in and tailing from behind is a feminine-looking male.

She promptly stand up and return back to the shoot, hollering, “Alright. I’m ready now. Let’s start again.”

Her manager look up in confusion and bow his head apologetically at the photographer who cuss under his breath.

“Now put your right hand on your hips. And turn your face slowly to my direction.” Staring into the camera, she literally ooze out her appeal as she feel the handsome hunk eyeing her from the set. “Ah yes! That’s it! Beautiful! And now for the final shot--done!”  

“Thankyou, Mina-shi.” The photographer shook the idol’s hand when the sound of applauds following by a masculine voice suddenly chimes in, drawing their attention to a certain superstar.

“Baeksook-shi, what a fantastic job!”

“Ah—long time no see, Donghae-shi!” The man in a beret hat greet the attractive hunk clad in a navy blue blazer. “Still looking as suave as ever. You look great in the cover page of Seoul Times Magazine.”

“All thanks to your amazing photo-taking skills.” The celebrity chuckle and lightly caress the older man’s shoulder, completely ignoring the Redhead who clearly has interest in the Brunette.

“Don’t flatter me.” The photographer pat the younger man’s arm. “So what brings you here today?” 

“I just finish shooting a commercial and I heard from Heechul that you have a job nearby so I decided to stop by and visit you.” Donghae beam down sweetly at the man and hook his arm around Baeksook’s neck to embrace the older man before retreating himself.   

“Ahem. Ahem.” The Redhead clear loudly to distract their over-friendly conversation. “Baeksook-shi, aren’t you going to introduce me to this charming stranger?” She pouts, tucking a curly, long strand behind her right ear, while winking at the Brunette who looks away.

“Oh right! Donghae-shi, this is Mina-shi. She’s the rising star from the MK Entertainment.” The older man gesture the Redhead beauty who smile, seductively to the idol. “I still have another job to follow up, I’ll leave you two to have a nice chat.”

The moment the photographer left, Mina press herself against Donghae to slyly steal a chance to feel out his muscular broad chest.

“So it’s true--you do look more charming in real life than in television.” She run her wet tongue across the edge of her pearly white teeth and her lips. “It must be faith for us to finally meet one another.”

Distancing himself from her obvious intention, Donghae smirks at the lady’s aggressive advances toward him. It seems like his charisma and handsome face is at work again without him lifting a finger.

“Well--my presence often drive everyone insane.” He reach into his pocket to pull out a handkerchief and brush it gingerly over the areas that the female idol has touched him before.

“I can see why you become a hot rumor with every female co-actress.”

“So you’re the popular star that the media has been raving about recently.” Donghae went on without locking eyes with her.

“Why, there’s only one—and she’s standing right in front of you.” Mina cooed like bashful schoolgirl.

“I must say you look just as beautiful as you are on-screen.”

The idol throw the handkerchief away and reach in his back pants pocket to whip out another one like a magician.

“Omo, I didn’t know you’re such a sweet-talker.” She giggles, drowning in thoughts that she has successfully lures her prey into her tangling web of love. If she was able to make a scandal with him then her fame will rise even more without her spending money in bribing the media broadcasters.

“Your big round eyes. Ruby red lips. Curvy body. You’re so beautiful that you have me wondering—“ The Brunette pause to lean in closer, his hot breath kissing the shell of her ear. “Where did you get yours done?”

He pull away laughing, hysterically as the lady’s facial expression turns sour and her entire body collapse to the ground convulsing in aggravation.

Eyeing the suave hunk walking out of the studio, Heechul lower his shades and shake his head judging the man up and down.

What a cold-hearted bastard!

Donghae cast him a nonchalant look and continue to wipe the invisible bacteria off of his blazer before discarding the handkerchief away like a scrap of trash.

“Ya! Ya!” The feminine guy calls out, chasing after the Superstar to finally catch up to his pace. “How many times do I have to tell you to pipe it down?”

They enter into a café and the employees promptly bow down to welcome them into a secluded area that is reserved for VIPs. Plopping himself down, Donghae sneers and cast his manager a ‘are you crazy’ expression.

“Pipe it down? That started it first. Did you see how she molested me in there? If I don’t do anything I’ll be the one all chewed up.”

“Aigoo—my poor little boy!” Heechul cried sarcastically, pinching Donghae’s cheeks. “You’re so fit and vulnerable that everyone wants to eat you up. Should I kept you locked inside a box and have two bulldogs guard over you every single minute of your life.”

 “Now—don’t you get me started, Heechul!” The idol snort and glare at the petite man, unamusingly. “For godsake--are you even my manager or did they hired you to insult me?!

Donghae become silent upon hearing the waiter enter to place a cup of hand-dripped cappuccino and a plate of macaroons in front of him. Turning to his left, the server offer a cup of double-shot expresso next to the pretty boy who slips him a tip and gesture him to leave. 

The celeb takes out a handkerchief out of nowhere and begin wiping the dustless countertop then proceeding to clean his cup and saucer, ignoring his scornful manager.

“Look—I saw the way you interacted with Mr. Photographer back there.” Heechul stare at Donghae solemnly, expecting the young man to give him a proper explanation to his irrational behavior.

But the Brunette fling the handkerchief away and remain wordless for the moment, as if he is in a state of collecting his scattered thoughts together. He diverts Heechul’s criticizing gaze to make himself feel less guilty and lean back against the leather seat that send chills down the exposed skin