Edited: January 17

 

December 31

 

He gazed upon the clear blue sky, which is nearing sunset, spending all the time he had left to adore the sky the "he" loved so much. A tear escaped out of Oh Sehun's eye, the cold, emotionless guy "Only he can make me like this" he thought with a bitter-sweet smile, until he broke into a crying mess. He again gazed in the sky, tears streaming down his face.

 

 

"*hic* I love you so much Lulu! *hic* s-so much that it hurts, it hurts that I have to let go. I-I just want you to be happy, but you can't be happy with me right? You'll just be happy with him right??" he said, or more like a cry. He put his hand on his chest, hoping the pain, the scars, the hole the he left will just go away, disappear, be healed. But he know just HOW impossible it is, only Luhan can heal him, complete the empty void in his heart. And he knew how much he know that he can only be happy with Luhan.....not with anybody, not anybody who is not Luhan.

 

 

He looked at Luhan's picture on his phone, he can't help but smile, a sincere smile, those smiles the Luhan gives is just precious. Just to make him smile is like the best gift he can have in December. He felt a lump on his throat once again, his breath hitched down on his neck "maybe just one last time Lu, one last time Luhan, just before the sunset is over, I want to see you smile again, hear your voice again....it's the best that I can take with me" he mumbled softly "It's almost time Lulu" he smiled getting ready for what's about to happen.

 

 

He sighed as he scanned his contacts, looking for the right person to contact at the moment. He stopped at one certain name, thinking that maybe perhaps the person is the right person to talk to. After all the said person and him are quite close.

 

 

Of course he would want to talk to him "one last time" he pressed the dial button.

 

Ring

 

Ring

 

Ring

 

Ring

 

Ring

 

"Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!" he chanted as if the word is a mantra, but a little sad though, thinking that his friend don't want to talk to him "maybe I'm just burdening everyone" he felt himself tearing up again. 

 

 

Ding

 

ding

 

ding

 

“Hello?” the voice said, which could have made Sehun more glad, so glad that he really did tear up.

 

 

Sehun manage to say an “H-Hello? Tao-Hyung?” Despite his voice cracking a little.

 

 

“YAHH!!! OH SEHUN ARE YOU CRYING?! CAUSE I SWEAR IF YOU ARE CR-” Tao yelled, panicking at the thought that his maknae was crying... But was cut off by Sehun, who is silently crying tears of joy thinking “at least someone still cares”

 

 

“Yah! Hyung,I- I’m not crying, I just woke up you see, and I just want somebody to talk to” Sehun said, mentally cursing “real smooth Sehun, real f*ucking smooth” as he almost stuttered. Fortunately for him, Tao seemed to buy the lie he said. Because he thought he lied pretty obviously, because he’s basically lying through his own tongue.

 

 

Tao is a bit suspicious, but bought to the lie anyway, convincing himself that Sehun isn’t really crying “Is that so? Well you called the right person! Cause I’ll always be there for you” Tao said too honestly making Sehun cry more.

 

 

“Yeah, so….how…..is Luhan-......hyung?” Sehun hesitantly asked “and everybody else? How is it going there?” he quickly added. Has Luhan been listening, the word hyung would have sting, Tao did think so.

 

Tao can’t help but let out a sigh, truly though he pitied Sehun, he wanted to cry for him. Tao now knows that Sehun really is crying. Not to be rude or anything, but he thinks that maybe, just maybe Luhan may really not deserve Sehun after all. Tao wanted to cry for the boy so much, thinking that the younger has wasted too much tears, insiting instead that he cry in his steed. But, no he will not cry. He has to be strong, as one of Sehun’s best friend he has to be strong, so that Sehun can always have a shoulder to cry on.

 

 

“Don’t worry everything is going fine here!” Tao said cheerily, clearly trying to avoid the topic about Luhan “but yeah, guess what! I’m not fine at all! Everyone here is a total bully! Hmhp!”

 

 

Sehun appreciated Tao’s effort to cheer him up, really “yaaaah~ it would be more fun if I’m there to join them~” Sehun replied mockingly, slightly smirking.

 

 

“YAHHH!! OH SEHUN! I’LL GET YOU, YOU MEANIE! YOU SHOULD BE PROTECTING ME FROM BULLIES NOT JOIN THEM TOO MEANIE!!!!” Tao shouted playfully, but actually he is crying, he is crying hard. What’s up with that? He just told himself that he’ll be strong for Sehun. *hic* *hic* he is crying because Sehun is acting to happy when it’s so obvious that he’s not. Sehun heard a crying sound and immediately panicked

 

 

“yah! Hyung, don’t cry! I’m sorry okay? I didn’t mean it! YAH! SARANGHAE HYUNG?! BUING BUING!” Sehun tried to stop Tao from crying. But to no avail, he failed miserably as he heard Tao cried harder. “S-sehun-ah! H-how can you do that?!” Tao cried over the phone

 

 

“How can I do what?” Sehun asked obviously confused

 

 

“How can you not cry?! You know I’ll always be there for you right? Right? Right?!” Tao cried more, as if feeling the Youngers pain.

 

 

Sehun ended up crying his heart out again too “h-hyung, I know. I-I just don’t want to look weak in front of any of you! I’ll be a BURDEN, a BIG BURDEN! I JUST DON’T WANT TO BE A BURDEN TO ANYONE! And I can’t cry anymore….. I’ve cry too much already you know? I think my heart is already tired as my eyes are. You know what I mean now right hyung?! I HAVE ALWAYS KNEW THAT MAYBE IF I WEREN'T BORN MAYBE I WON’T BE A BIG BURDENSOME TROUBLE TO ALL OF YOU!, MAYBE THE WORLD WOULD HAVE SAVED 1 LESS OF AN IDIOT AS I AM!” Sehun practically yelled what he is feeling inside.

 

 

Tao was stunned of what he’s heard. Sehun felt that way? He has no idea. But he is angry at Sehun for thinking that way. “OH SEHUN! YOU LISTEN TO ME! NEVER-EVER TALK THAT WAY AGAIN! HOW CAN YOU THINK SO LOWLY OF YOURSELF!? LISTEN TO ME YOU ****HEAD! WE WILL NEVER SEE YOU AS A BURDEN, YOU HEAR ME YOU D***HEAD?! NEVER!” Tao shouted angrily at Sehun for thinking of them like that.

 

 

“BUT HYUNG! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! NOBODY WANTS ME! NOBODY! I-I…I-I’M UNLOVABLE! I’M A FREAK! THAT’S WHY NOBODY LOVES ME! YOU DON’T UNDER-” Sehun retorted brokenly but is cut off.

 

 

“YOU ****ING IDIOT!!!!! DON’T YOU UNDERSTANT THAT I LOVE YOU?! YOU’RE PRACTICALLY A LITTLE BROTHER TO ME! *hic* *hic* YOU’RE THE ONE WHO DON’T UNDERSTAND!” Tao cried as if it’s the most precious words to be said.

 

 

Sehun, being clueless as he is, is shocked of what his hyung has said. He felt an overwhelming happiness in his heart deep, deep within his heart. Until a image of Luhan appeared in his mind. Sehun lowered his head

 

 

“b-but why did everyone I love…why? Why do everyone I treasure as my whole…..why…why did they?-” he cannot finish the sentence, instead he bit his lips, hoping it could prevent his tears from flowing.

 

 

Tao understood what Sehun clearly mean, his face softens “Hun” he said softly “Don’t talk about it okay? Just know that WE love you. Don’t ever talk that way again understand?” he said smiling lovingly as he said those words.

 

 

Sehun’s lips quivered “hyung..” he finally smiled “saranghae~”

 

 

“Love you too, maknae”

 

 

Sehun's was about to say goodbye, when he heard a very very faint moan in the background "hmm...ahhh!! nghh...faster! harder! ahhh! SARANGHAE XIUMIN-ah!" in a voice he recognizes all too much. His eyes stings, he felt tears flood his face. Those voice, more like moans, belongs to none other than Luhan-hyung.

 

 

"maybe I'll just be glad that I got to hear your voice one last time even if it's...even if-" Sehun can't bring himself to think anymore.

 

Tao panicked, Sehun hasn't been replying in moments. Well Tao doesn't have that strong of a hearing sense so he wouldn't know. Finally Sehun spoke with a broken voice.

 

 

Sehun heaved a breath “Goodbye, I’m hanging up now hyung, thanks for talking to me”

 

 

“Sure Bye” Tao said unsurely

 

 

“GoodBye” forever...

 

 

*toot*

 

*toot*

 

*toot*

 

 

Tao’s breath hitched, he stared at his phone suspiciously. He felt an overwhelming worry in his chest, and it feels like something crawled in his skin when he said that word. Is it just me or those words feels so distant, why does it feels like it’s the last-

 

“Nah, Sehun wouldn’t be that stupid” he said assuring himself, pushing all his thoughts away, but deep inside his heart has an unwavering worry.

 

 

“you wouldn’t do that, right Sehun?” 
“I hope you forgive me for this, hyung”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

So yeah hey' *potato hits head* HEY! HEY! YEAH YEAH I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED A MONTH! >3< MIAHNEH YOH!! TT______________TT *hides behind HunHan "HAH YOU CAN'T HURT THIS HOT BOYS! MWHAHAHAHA!!"

 

Yah~ Fansu dont kill our author~" -Luhan

YAH! we don't have a happy ending yet~ but I swear if this doesn't have a happy ending, I'll LET YOU THROUGH, I'll even join you guys~" -Sehun

 

"HEY ARE YOU TEAMING UP ON ME?! >3< MEANIE! -Me

SO YEAH SORRY FOR UPDATING SUPPPPPEEEERRR LATE!! T_T

(sorry for making Sehun a crybaby here T_Tv, trust me, I NEED TO >3<)