The best day of your life. You remember it clearly. It didn't start out great at all. 

*2 years prior*

"_______-ah!" Your name was called from out of the window. "_______-ah!" 

You opened the window to see 5 familiar boys standing on your yard.

"Are you ready or are you going to let us in?" Jaeho smiled. 

"I'll be right down." You told them, shutting the window. 

As quick as you could, you sprayed perfume on then ran down the stairs. You opened the door for your five friends who had arrived earlier than usual today at your house. They were in their uniforms for your high school, as were you. 

Today was graduation day. For Kyungil and Jaeho at least. 

"Okay, I'll almost done getting ready. I just need to do my hair real quick." you told them. They all looked at you. 

"We can tell." They chuckled. Your hair was a mess. You had hurried so much to get your uniform on, do your nails and makeup, that you neglected your hair. You took it easy on the eyeliner that day. 

"You're not even the one graduating, _______-ah." Kyungil laughed. The boys were all sitting in your room on your bed and on the floor as you did your hair in the vanity mirror. "Yeah, but we'll all be taking pictures that you'll keep for the rest of your life. I'd like to look pretty in them." You explained. 

"If you wanted to do that, all you had to do was get out of bed." Jaeho said. 

Your face turned pink.

"Yeah, then put a bag over your face and you'd be all done." Yijeong joked. Dokyun hit him over the head with your pillow. 

When you were finished, the six of you started walking to the bus. It was a 40 minute ride to school like everyday. That was one of the downsides of living in the countryside. 

"What are you guys planning on doing after you graduate, hyungs?" Sihyung asked the two soon-to-be-graduates.

"I know what I'll be doing. I'm going to audition for a dance school in Seoul, as a back up, I'm  also auditioning to one closer to home. Modern dance." Kyungil said almost as soon as Sihyung finished his question. 

Jaeho laid back in his seat and stretched his arms back in front of your face as you sat in the chair behind him. "I don't know exactly. I know that I'm going to take a break. That's for sure. I'll definitely go to university, but I'll start in the summer instead of the spring as usual." [AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm going by Korean education system school year.]

You heart was put to relief a little bit. 

It was February. The spring semester starts in March and the summer follows in July. You had five months with him left. 

The graduation ceremony went by like any other in Korea. You went just to support your two friends. You were just waiting to get it over with because you were really only excited for the party you all were having afterwards, but still, you couldn't help but shed a tear or two seeing Jaeho and Kyungil graduating. This was the first time your little family had to deal with this. This meant so much. 

This was a big year for you six. You had entered high school, the two oldest were graduating, in the next coming school year, your maknae would enter high school and the two oldest would go to university. This would be the first time you all would be apart. Yes, you had dealt with those times when you were in different schools, but there was never a time that you didn't have a companion at the same school, except for maknae Yijeong who got left last at elementary and middle school, but for the rest of you, Jaeho and Kyungil were in the same grade, as you and Sihyung were, and Dokyun was in the middle, either with one or the other. No matter where you went to school, you always rode the same bus back to the same little farm town. Now, you were all going to split up. 

This thought had been plaguing your mind for the past few weeks. Although you were happy for your oppas' graduation day, these thoughts in the back of your mind crept up every single time your lips formed a smile. It was hard to be happy for too long. 

This fact, this fact that they were leaving triggered something within you. 

Kyungil, Dokyun, Sihyung, Yijeong, they were like your brothers. They've been with you ever since you can remember. They were the ones who taught you how to ride a bike, they bought you your first cigarette, they took you to concerts, they treated you like one of their own, like a sister, but one-- just one was more than brotherly. 

You didn't want to break the dynamics of the group. You couldn't the feelings you had for the remaining member were ones that you could never say out loud. Everyday they grew, and everyday you swallowed them, along with your pride. You were in love with Jaeho, but all you could do was deny it. You tried to convince yourself that you were wrong, it was just physical attraction, but the more you tried to deny it, the more you couldn't.

But that was all going to change. Tonight, you were going to tell Jaeho that you loved him. You had to. 

That night, you went to karaoke-- the group's favorite past time. 

Kyungil and Dokyun always hogged the mic, and Sihyung, who refused to sing, did all the rapping parts. 

"Oh, EXO? I've heard of this group!" Yieong exclaimed. "They're SM's new boy group, haven't even made an official debut yet." He explained. 

"Then why do they have two songs in the karaoke box already?" Jaeho asked- always oblivious to pop culture 

"They've release two songs, but not yet officially debuted."

"Oh yeah, I've heard of them, I think." Kyungil added.

"Let's give it a try. Here, let's sing 'History'." Dokyun proposed. 

You sang for three hours. The time went by quickly- faster than you had expected. At the end of the time, the karaoke box's phone inevitably rang-- the attendant telling you that your time was up. The six of you filed out of the room to go pay. 

You rode the usual bus to the stop to get home. The six of you stood in a circle when you got off. 

"What are we doing now?" Yijeong asked, always the first to open his mouth.

"I don’t know what you all are doing, but I have plans with my girlfriend, if you know what I mean." He smirked.

"Yeah, I gotta get home." Dokyun said. Sihyung nodded. "Unlike you graduates, the rest of us have school tomorrow." 

"I don't mind that." Yijeong smiled. 

Jaeho flicked his ear. "Of course not, babo. You're in middle school. No one cares about homework at your age."  

"Tch, fine." He said stubbornly, crossing his arms. 

"Wait." Sihyung said, his gaze set on Kyungil who was slowly backing away, hoping to go unnoticed. "Wasn't it your turn to walk ______ home today, hyung?" 

Kyungil shrugged his shoulders. 

Although you grew up like one of the boys, the obvious difference caused some difficulties sometimes. Not one of them trusted you to walk home by yourself. They took turns walking you when no one wanted to do it, but usually they made it a group event. 

"I have a date, guys. Come on. Make the maknae do it."

"No way! Not again. This is my third time. You guys always make me do it when you're being lazy."

"I'll do it." Jaeho said. 

You smiled. It was all going according to plan. 

You had convinced Kyungil prior to back out of his turn, knowing full well that the gentlemanly Jaeho would step in. You told him that you had a graduation surprise for him. When he asked you where his surprise was, you reminded him of who had set him up with the beautiful girlfriend of his- your friend from school who lived in the next town over. 

After you got it all settled, you went your separate ways. Sihyung and Dokyun walking in the same direction to their house, Kyungil waiting for the next bus, and Yijeong following behind you, but not for long. His house was relatively close to the bus stop. After getting rid of him, you asked Jaeho if you could take a detour to the old park you used to play at. 

"That's a great idea. What a fitting day to visit that old place." He smiled, ruffling your hair. 

The two of you sat on the swings, your legs obviously too long for the child's toy. You talked about the old times.

"Remember when we used to shoot each other with slingshots when we played War?"

"Remember when we played house and you didn't want to be the wife, so I was married to Kyungil?"

"Remember when I cried because Sihyung touched my when they were first starting to come in?"

"Remember when Dokyun comforted a crying Yijeong after he fell off the slide?"

The two of you smiled and laughed at the old stories. Some you had forgotten. 

"It's getting cold. Shall I take you home now?" He smiled. 

You stood up. He did the same. As he started to walk away, you stopped him.

"Wait. Before we go. I have something to tell you!" You shouted.

His head cocked in curiosity. "Yes?" He said as he came closer. You two were less than a foot apart. You couldn't remember the last time you were this close. His breath turned into steam as he looked at you. You were so nervous, you hadn't noticed how cold it was.

"I... umm, I..." You started. His eyes were locked onto you. 

"I'm cold!" You said. 

You couldn't do it. You didn't have the confidence. What if he didn't love you? You were only a first year, but yet you had the guts to confess to a third year who had just graduated? No. You didn't have the guts. 

"Fine." He laughed. "I'll give you my jacket." He said as he covered you up with his black jacket. You recognized it; it was his favorite black jacket. He ruffled your hair again-- a habit of his that he'd had since the first time you called him oppa in the second grade. 

You walked the rest of the way in silence. Most likely due to the fact that it had been eventful day and you both had a lot to think about-- the future. 

When you finally came to your doorstep, it was quiet. You couldn't make any noise since your grandparents were asleep inside. It was late and they never waited up, knowing that your friends walked you home. 

"See you tomorrow?" He asked you, knowing full well that that was that was the routine, but just like that, asking you was part of the same routine. You nodded in reply.

"Good night." He said. "Night." You replied as you closed the door. 

The moment the door shut, you sunk to the floor, the door behind your back. Tears streamed down your face like the Han River. 

"I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't risk our friendship." You cried to yourself.

"I'm not strong enough to admit my feelings to him-- or even to myself."

The reason that you had worn less eyeliner that day was because you had a feeling that you'd be crying today.