Tao was frustrated. His schooling was getting nowhere and his work was full of annoying customers who giggled too loud or slurred too much for comprehension. He even snapped at his more than innocent pair of buddy, YiXing and BaekHyun, who were just having nice chats about what they were going to do with their boyfriends this Christmas. They weren’t even talking about Tao, but the youngest snapped at them anyway, which now there is a growing regret in Tao’s mind. He will have to apologize later, with later meaning tomorrow. Sighing dejectedly, Tao slings his heavier than an elephant back pack over his right shoulder and trudges home from his work at the busy Chinese restaurant. Tao stuffs his earbuds in place and his freezing hands in his pockets during the trip. The bitter wind of Korea pierces through his thin jackets and lifts the blonde locks everywhere. Tao huffs in annoyance and hurries down the hard street that is now slowly getting blanket by soft fresh snow. His studded black boots scrunch the snow on the eerie street causing Tao to reminisce about the Christmas before. It was right around this time a year ago. It was right around this time when Kris left him without a word. Not even a letter or a note. It confuses Tao then and now. A lot. He thought Kris was in love with him and speaking for himself, he was definitely in love with Kris. Gosh damn, Tao was head over heel in love with Kris and because of it, he later spiraled down the pitfall of despair and depression which he is now slowly climbing out of. He remembered coming into their apartment to Kris not home. Well at the time, Tao didn’t think much of it because he just thought that Kris was out for the night with some of his friends, but then Kris never came home.

1 week.

1 month.

6 months.

Almost a year and Tao is here, nowhere. He became lost without his Duizhang, his role model, his love. He stops in the middle of the empty street and stares up at the empty night sky before releasing a long breath that ends up as a puff of smoke that disappears faster than Kris did. He chuckles hollowly at the thought and continues home with full shudders, trying to beat away the cold.

December is viciously cold this year and a cold apartment is so unwelcoming. Tao shivers at the thought as he jingles his massive bundle of keys and keychains and lanyards for his apartment key and does a little dance when he finds that key. ing the key in roughly and turning the old lock, Tao is reminded about that forgotten memo in the back of his mind to change the lock which made him mutter out another string of profanities because that memo had been in his mind for about three months.

Escaping the cold exterior for a slight less cold interior, Tao hurries to turn up the heat and switches on the light only to let out a startling shriek of unnatural pitch. Someone is sitting on his couch. Sitting is such a broad word. This someone was lounging on Tao’s couch. He was tall and dark haired and oh gosh… Familiar. His breath is caught in his throat as he examine the someone that is relaxing on his couch. Tao can barely find the right thought to form words and his jaw opens and closes and after a little bit he just abandons the thought of trying to make sounds and shuts his mouth all together. His eyes brim with hot tears that hadn’t fallen since the six months mark of Kris’s disappearance and the someone locks his eyes on Tao’s. He stands up and walks over to Tao, stopping just about a little less than arm length and Tao gazes at the man that is so familiar and so foreign approach him. His physique… He has grown taller and leaner. His muscles filled out nicely as Tao can see through the tight-fitting shirt. His hair… It’s dark brown now and short, too. It was fashionably longer and golden blonde before. His eyes… They haven’t change. They are the same dark chocolate brown pair of loving eyes that always shower Tao with secret glances, lustful flicks, and caring looks.

“K-Kris…”

Those soft pink petal-like lips slowly turn into a smile that warm Tao’s heart and oh how much Tao misses seeing that smile at the end of a hard day and better yet, to kiss those lips and to taste Kris again. Tao reaches out with his right slowly and retracts his hand quickly. What if he isn’t real… What if I am hallucinating… What if… Tao looks up again from his hand to Kris to see Kris displaying his signature frown on Kris’s lovely features, so Tao tries again. This time his fingertips brush against the clothing that Kris was dressed in and Tao grasps those materials, bunching them up in his right fist first then his left as he draws himself closer to Kris. He is in full sob now as the realization that Kris is here and he is real and he is alive all hit Tao at once and Tao just let all of his pent up emotions out in the form of raging tears and wheezing sobs against the chest of the man he knew and missed so much while those comforting arms encircle Tao’s shaking form and press Tao even closer to Kris. Kris buries his nose into Tao’s blonde locks and whispers softly in apologies and I love yous and cry it out, baby because I am here for you, over and over and over again until who knows how long later when Tao’s sobbing finally come to a slow halt and his eyes are all puffy now, his nose is a little runny, and his face is tear-stained in which Kris guides Tao’s face up from his chest with his index and thumb at Tao’s chin.

They share one meaningful glance before closing their eyes into a soft kiss, a kiss that had been delayed for far too long, a kiss that is urgent yet neither of them want to rush it as they savor each other again after so long. Tao shivers against Kris and wraps his arms around Kris’s waist while Kris smiles into the kiss and cups Tao’s nape, caressing the silky strains of hair. They pull away with a goofy grin plastered on their faces, but they didn’t pull away far. Tao’s forehead was resting on Kris’s and their noses brush teasingly every now and then when they shift in each other’s embrace.

“Gosh damn, Tao. I miss you so much…”

Kris reaches up to Tao’s smooth cheek with his thumb and searches his love’s eyes for an answer.

“You son of a , do you even… Do you even know how much I miss YOU?”

Kris laughs at hearing Tao throwing out profanities as he recalls some very pleasant memories involving profanities and Tao and the bedroom.

“I will explain to you when we sit?”

Kris offers with a chipmunk-like grin that Tao can only nod in agreement. Reluctantly separate from the embrace, Kris with Tao in hand, walks to the worn out couch in the apartment’s living room. Kris sits first before offering his lap to Tao in which the younger takes up the offer with eager by situating himself in Kris’s lap, wrapping his arms around Kris’s neck, and burying his nose into the crook of Kris’s neck. Kris wraps his arm around Tao while one touches Tao’s back in knowing , the one that put the younger at ease and Tao wants to cry again at that. He misses Kris so badly. He misses these times so much. Just everything… He wishes he could freeze time, but he snaps out of his thoughts when Kris speaks.

“I am no longer human.”

Tao stops breathing for a good minute or two before glancing up at his lover who is looking back down at him with glowing red eyes. Tao is unable to speak for the second time that night. Tao is unable to move, pinned down by fear and tension as he stares at Kris, searching with much needs for a hint of lie, and he finds none. Not a trace of lies in his eyes, his supposed to be menacing red eyes. Kris can sense the tension rifling through Tao’s body causing him to worry and become anxious that he had scared the younger away from him.

“Tao… Please say something…”

Kris’s voice is more than pleading now, yet Tao is still unable to mutter a word or even a sound. Tao just sits there in a familiar embrace with a familiar person who just announce that he was not human. Anymore. How does one respond to a situation like this? Tao and Kris locks eyes for eternity as Tao questions himself on how to proceed or react. His mind is racing. What if Kris is here to kill me? No… It can’t be… If he wants to kill me then he would have done so already. What if he wants to torture me to death? Had Kris been that type? No… He didn’t show it during the many years Tao had known him. What if he is here to enslave me? For what? What if he is here to tell me that he is leaving me forever? What if he is here to see one last time before leaving me? Tao’s breathing fastens a bit as he chokes out the question.

“What are you?”

Kris bites the inside of his cheek. As dehumanizing as the question sounded, Kris understands the point of view that Tao was looking through and why he was asking it, but it hurts nevertheless to hear that coming from the one he is holding so dearly.

“W-werewolf.”

“No…”

Tao can’t believe what he is hearing. How can Kris be a werewolf? Is werewolf even real? Hell, Tao would have accepted more if Kris was a drug dealer.

“Kris, are you pulling my leg?”

Kris shakes his head and bares his canines for Tao to see. Tao reaches out and feels the deadly weapons, purposely piercing the pad of his thumb to verify the authenticity of them causing Kris to grab his wrist in haste and examine his wound.

“Tao! What are-“

“I want to see if they are real…”

Kris on the pierced thumb and flicks his tongue over and over again until he is satisfied that his antibacterial-saturated werewolf saliva had clean the small wound inside and out. Looking at Tao’s hand again, he presses the fingertips to his lips.

“I am sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, Kris? I pierced my thumb by my own free will.”

“No, I mean for leaving you. It wasn’t my intention. It wasn’t my intention at all. The situation… It never was in my control, and I couldn’t involve you until I get a hold of the situation. I…”

Kris trails off, leaving Tao desperate for more.

“Kris, what do you mean? What happened a year ago? Why are you a werewolf? Why are you here? Why do your eyes turn so solemn at the turn of the conversation?? Duizhang, what’s wrong…?”

“I killed someone, Tao.”

Gulping nervously, Tao stammers. Surely not his Duizhang. There is no way his Duizhang killed someone. He is, or was, the biggest teddy bear Tao ever knew.

“W-what… What? Kris, what d-did you… I mean… Who did you kill?”

Kris stares coldly forward.

“I think it is easier for the both of us if I start at the beginning, hm?”

Tao nods and shifts a bit, which cause Kris to snap his head down in worry, thinking that Tao wants to move away, but Tao reassures him that Tao only wants to get more comfortable before he begins, even though Tao was really scared of the story that he is about to hear. Tao presses a soft kiss on the corner of Kris’s mouth and is rewarded with one on his nose, another comforting gesture that eases Tao’s tension. He beckons Kris to start his story after situating himself once more in his lover’s lap.

“A year ago, I was shopping for presents when I got drag into a dark alleyway. I thought they were just muggers, you know? So I fought using the moves you taught me. Aren’t you proud?”

Tao giggles softly and pats Kris’s chest, while the other had this cute smugly grin on his face.

“Yes, I am proud of you, now continue on.”

“Those guys were werewolves, however. I stood no chance against them and their superhuman strength which then one of them knocked me out. I woke up later to an underground basement sort of place which I understood later that it was their prison. Tied in a chair in an empty room with only a window high on the wall looking outside, I was stuck in that cell for about two or three months and during those months, I was turning. Day by day, I can feel my body changing and my inner wolf grows. Their alpha, some name Krystal, was looking for a new mate since she needs another alpha to rule the pack with her so she decided on me. I was extremely pissed at her.”

Kris droops his head low and the shadows hide Kris’s eyes from Tao’s view.

“I am also extremely mad at myself, too.”

“Why?”

Tao cups Kris’s cheek and brings his face back up and with Kris’s eyes resting on Tao again, he can see the anger and sadness that made his heart throb to be able to rewind time and rescue Kris from that horrible time. Unable to do that, Tao tries to lighten Kris up with a butterfly-light kiss.

“Tell me.”

Even though, Tao is still nervous about the fact that Kris is a werewolf or said to be one, Tao can really feel the bubbling dislike for this Krystal person for making Kris like this, for dragging Kris into her paws, and for ruining things that isn’t hers in the first place. He listens to his anger beating in his chest and flares his nose before calming himself and nudges Kris to continue.

“Kris, please… Tell me. You owe me for leaving me.”

Kris chuckles ever so lightly and nods.

“I do owe you, anyway. She used me, Tao. She used me for her own pleasure and as a changing wolf, having with the alpha was literally heaven. I feel sick to say that I enjoyed the pleasure, but days after days, she come to have with me. Me. Who is chained up on a chair and she used me as I was changing while saying that I was her new mate because I had the alpha’s blood and I should accept it…”

Kris trails off again, leaving Tao to catch up to the profound knowledge that his love had been used for some ’s pleasure. Oh and that werewolves are indeed real and he is being cradle by one. Tao’s brain is now on overdrive as he tries to make any logic out of this, but logic is more than out of reach right now, because if logic was here, it would tell him that his boyfriend was lying or this whole thing was just a figment of his own Kris-deprived imagination and he is just missing his love too much to find reality. He stops trying to make sense of the whole if he is imagining things or not and returns his attention to what is at hand. He ruffles through his jumbled brain for any type of werewolf knowledge that he had picked up over the years.

“Wait, don’t werewolves mate for life?”

Kris nods again and Tao blanches.

“No…”

Tao tries to get up, but those strong arms held him in place.

“Tao, Tao, listen. Listen to me.”

Tao only panics more.

“Kris. You have your mate so why are you here! Why are you adding to my scars that had been building up since you are gone, the ones that had been ripped wide open! Kris! How can you be here when you have a mate?!”

He tries again to scramble out of Kris’s hold, only to be flip onto his back with Kris hovering and his lower half is pinned by Kris as he wedges himself between Tao’s legs. His wrists are pinned besides his head.

“I killed her damn it!”

Kris barks loudly leaving Tao trembling and whimpering underneath. Breathing heavily, his eyes glow even brighter in frustration. He never means to be so rough to the younger, but then he did expect his feisty Tao to react this way and he was hoping with everything he have to not resort to this sort of treatment, however, he is here now regardless.

“I killed her, Tao.”

He tries again in a calmer tone. For Tao, the second time of hearing it made him more aware of what Kris just said. Tao wants to rub his temples to relief the headaches that are thrashing around his brain. Why did Kris kill his mate? He just said they mate for life, so how can one kill his own mate?

“W-why did you kill her?”

Tao’s throat is parched dry as he strangled out those words.

“Because she was not my true mate.”

Some pieces start to click and it took Tao a bit more time before he finds his nerves ask Kris again.

“What do you mean?”

“I will explain to you under the condition that you won’t try to run away again.”

Kris holds up his pinky finger and wags it a little in front of Tao’s face in which Tao brings up his own to hook it around Kris’s pinky. The small, cute gesture reminds Tao of the time when Kris had promise him that he will win that big fluffy leopard plushie at the school fair for Tao no matter how long or much it takes and effectively winning Tao’s heart in the process.

“I won’t try to run away. I’ll listen. I will listen to you, Kris.”

Kris lets go of a huge breath of relief that he didn’t know he was holding. He was afraid that Tao would refuse to listen to him thinking that he was just an animal, not like he wasn’t partially one, but just an animal with no capability of emotions other than to hunt and kill as he just told the latter that he killed his own “mate.” He was afraid that Tao won’t look at him again. He was afraid of losing Tao again, but for now, he gets off of Tao and the younger sits back up, rubbing his wrists a bit.

“Argh it’s so complicated.”

Kris ruffles his hair before continuing again. Staring off into space, Kris recalls the things he had learn and discover during his first year being a werewolf.

“Krystal’s true mate died during a territorial dispute, but she held on and kept the pack together and even rebuilt the pack. She’s strong but she still needs a mate to be stronger so she choose me. However, her own wolf needs his true mate and not just the power of being an alpha, so I killed her at the chance that I could get my hand on and took over the pack. It is time that she rejoins her mate in somewhere better.”

Tao can see the hurt in Kris’s eyes. They had return to the soft chocolate that Tao is accustomed to. There is a mixture of regret, determination. Resolve, strength, and most of all hope. Kris flicks his attention back to Tao.

“I guess it is my human’s feeling that got transfer through when I was stuck in that chamber and that chair, all I could think about was you, Tao.”

His heart is beating rapidly in his rib cage, and butterflies are fluttering uncontrollably in his stomach. He flinches lightly at Kris’s palm that slide onto his cheek and the thumb that is caressing his cheekbone softly. Kris leans closer and his musky scent tingles Tao’s nose. It is so intoxicating that Tao just want to bury his nose at the crook of Kris’s neck to get even more drunk on it. He can feel himself unraveling and Kris’s suave voice, whispering no less, didn’t help him one bit.

“I was thinking how you were doing each day I was away from you. Was I missed? Did you find someone else? I miss you so much that it ache and my wolf didn’t fare any better. He was howling for you every day and every night. It took me everything to not abandon my mission to come back to you, but I know it was not safe for you yet until Krystal dies and I had secure the pack. I had to make sure that none of them will challenge me ever. I didn’t only fight them, but I fought myself so hard and even now… Even now I am refraining from making you mine again, Tao. To make up for the time that I was gone. To make up for leaving you…” Because I want you to get comfortable with the idea of your boyfriend now being a werewolf went unsaid.

Their lips are now merely millimeters apart and Kris’s voice had dropped so low that Tao can barely hears it over his thundering heart. Their eyes are locked as Tao sense a shift and the hope that was in Kris’s eyes blossoms beautifully while those pair of eyes begin to redden again. Tao is growing little fond of Kris’s glowing red eyes as they gazes over him then Tao’s parted lips are covered by Kris’s plumped one. They didn’t move past one each other’s wet muscle, exploring each other’s hot cavern, and reacquainting each other’s senses again. For the second time that night, they pull back, panting. Kris Tao’s face in a slow and deliberate fashion as if he is trying to engrain Tao’s features into his memories just in case Tao rejects Kris and Kris will have to leave the apartment, empty-handed and heart-broken, but it was then that Tao slips out.

“I am not going to leave you, Kris.”

Kris perks up at that in which Tao only smiles warmly and peck his Kris’s lips again.

“Even if you are a werewolf, you are still my Duizhang. You are still the one I fell in love with all these years and nothing will change that. When you were gone, I have been in a spiral to nowhere. I miss you more than anything.”

Wrapping his arms around Kris’s neck and running his fingers against the prickly short hair at the nape, Tao sighs softly as he retells his year without Kris, about how much he long for the older, how he couldn’t function right, how lonely the apartment felt without Kris, and how cold the bed felt without the elder even when it was in the middle of summer. By the end. Kris had lie down on the couch, pulling Tao into his arms and the younger had complied without taking a break in his retelling. They lay now in the comfort of each other’s as the snow falls harder outside and the apartment warms up with each of their breath. Tao’s arm wraps around Kris’s midsection and the elder has his arm around Tao, possessively, bringing a soft smile to play on Tao’s lips. They lay for who knows how long in silence before Kris senses that his love is lulling into sleep as his ears pick up the slowing of Tao’s breath and his body feels the relaxation of Tao’s lush body against his.

“Sleep, baby.”

Tao lazily raises his head up. Sleep is heavy in his sharp feline eyes.

“Will you be here when I wake?”

Kris presses his lips against Tao’s.

“Yes, baby. I won’t ever leave you again. Not again.”

Tao smiles at that and snuggles closer into Kris’s side, tucking his nose into the spot of the junction of behind Kris’s earlobe and the crook of his neck, and into his alluring, comforting scent, while Kris brings his boyfriend’s leg over his waist and Tao curls instantly at the gesture. Sleep came to visit Tao first and kissing Tao’s softly once more, Kris falls into the best sleep that he had gotten in a year with his wolf calm and content, his mind calm, his lover and mate by his side.

A/N: YAY!!! I finished a fic! What did you guys think? I kinda wrote this on whim... and please excuse my English. It is not my first language. Comments in what you think! It would be really nice ^^~ thank you~