A life for a life (Miracle in December)

"Piggy!" A familiar voice called out to you.

You grinned and waved from a bench nearby but the nervousness you felt only grew.

"Sorry, I'm late. The traffic was horrible today." Kai explained when he sat beside you.

"It's okay," you managed to say while playing with your fingers.

"Oh! You'll never guess who I bumped into on my way here--"

"Kai, I'm pregnant," you blurted out, eyes tightly shut.

"No, it wasn't--" his laughter stopped, "What?" He asked in shock.

"I-I'm telling you that I'm pregnant." Your hands balled into fists grabbing onto your dress a bit aggressively.

"You're saying that you're...you mean...my...our...we're going to have a baby?" He asked shocked.

You could only nod and wait for his reaction. You were already expecting the worst thing that could happen: a breakup. You weren't even married so a baby would only mean trouble and hardships for you both.

"We're having a baby?" He questioned himself. "We're having a baby," he repeated.

"We're...we're having a baby!" He exclaimed to a lady that was passing by with her dog. He even told the dog he was going to be a father.

"We're having a baby!!" He said pulling you up the bench and crushing you in his embrace.

You weren't expecting this. Rather than being mad and disappointed, he was actually happy about it.  His excitement made you feel overwhelmed.

"We're having a little piggy!!" He laughed lifting you off the ground and spinning you around.

"Kai, careful!" You warned but couldn't hold back your happiness.

"Right! The baby's in there, sorry," he scratched the back of his neck while laughing. It only made him look as childish and innocent as ever.

"Thank you for telling me this big news. Thank you for not hiding it. Even though we're not a married couple we'll be able to get through this and raise our little baby on our own, you'll see."

Kai's words made you feel so relieved, that tears escaped your eyes. 

"I love you, Kai," you hugged him tightly.

"But I bet I love you more,” he said lifting your head to get a clearer view and took the perfect opportunity to steal a sweet kiss from you.

Seven months ‘til D-day

“Should we get married?” Kai asked playing with your fingers. You were both lying on your bed, talking, just like every other night.

“No,” you said flatly. He lost grip of your hand letting it fall on the bed. His breath seemed to have stopped.

“Not yet,” you clarified.

“Why not? Your belly will start growing soon.”

“That’s exactly why. I don’t want people to say that we got married because you knocked me up. I want them to know how much we love each other. Besides, I don’t want to spend our honeymoon in pain because of the pregnancy,” you explained.

He chuckled. “How cute will it be to watch our baby participating at our wedding,” he smiled at the picture in his head.

 Of course he was picturing a girl since he wanted a little princess that looked exactly like her mother. You, on the other hand, wanted a boy, a little good looking boy. Just like his father.

“Little princess,” he called out caressing your stomach, “hurry and come out. I want to marry mommy so we can be a proper family.”

“Princess? No, I have a feeling it’ll be wonderful boy,” you smiled.

“Oh? But I want a piggy girl, just like mommy. So I say,” he kissed your stomach, “it’s gonna be a princess.”

“How ‘bout if we let it be a surprise?” you suggested filled with emotion.

“Are you sure? Won’t it be inconvenient?”

“We can just buy uni stuff. There are some babies whose gender can’t be seen throughout the whole pregnancy, so uni stuff is pretty common for them,” you explained.

“Really? Ah, I should learn more about babies if I wanna be a good father,” Kai chuckled, “Fine! Let’s do it that way,” he smiled.

“I just know it’ll be a boy.”

“Girl,” Kai protested in a childish way.

“Boy.”

“Whatever you say, I just wanna hold our little princess in my arms already.”

“Kai,” you sighed and he laughed.

3 months ‘til D-day

“Kai, we’re out of chocolate milk!” you pouted from the kitchen.

“Already?! I bought that the day before yesterday!”

“Our baby boy wants to have dark skin like daddy, so he loves chocolate milk,” you .

“I won’t buy you anymore chocolate milk!”

“Kai, come on,” you tried using aegyo, “please?”

“Fine,” he grumbled, “but only because our princess wants some,” he kneeled on the floor to kiss your now round belly. “Daddy will be back.”

“Thank you,” you said as satisfied as a little kid who just received candy.

“Need anything else?” he asked and you shook your head no. “Okay, lock the door,” he said and headed out.

“Kai!”

“Hmm?” he responded turning around.

You carefully walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Yah, what are you doing?” he laughed looking down at your belly which was getting in the middle of you and him.

“Get down here,” you laughed. You wanted to kiss him but your stomach was too bloated to reach.

He smiled, a very warm smile, in such a cold night. He caressed your face and bent down, finally giving you what you wanted. His lips brushed yours ever so delicately. He was afraid he would hurt the baby in any way.

You smiled into the kiss. So did him.

“I love you…too much for the sake of my heart,” said Kai.

“Yah!” you playfully hit him, “I don’t need your cheesiness, I need chocolate milk!” you snorted.

Kai laughed. “I’ll be back, Miss Piggy,” he joked and left.

2 weeks ‘til D-day

“Ah, the pain is getting stronger,” you chuckled making it hurt even more.

“Want to go to the hospital?” Kai asked worried.

“No, it’ll pass soon. It’s okay,” you tried to smile for reassurance but it came out as a grimace.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, the doctor said it’s not time yet,” you his hair.

He laid beside you always on the lookout. Specially now since the date was getting closer.

“Piggy, get some rest,” he kissed your forehead.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Suho-hyung called me a few minutes ago. He said he bought something for us but I have to pick it up now. He leaves tomorrow on a family trip,” he explained.

“But it’s a bit late don’t you think?” you said worried.

“It’s okay, there’s not much traffic at this hour,” he said getting ready to leave.

You sighed, knowing you won’t be able to convince him otherwise. “Take your coat, it’s cold outside.”

“I’ll be back. I love you,” he kissed you before leaving.

“Me too.”

No more than five minutes after Kai left, you felt the baby kicking again. This time you felt double the pain. As difficult as it was, you got up from the bed and managed to walk outside your apartment. The baby kept kicking desperately and it was leaving you breathless. No sign of Kai anywhere. Afraid something bad was happening to the baby, you let yourself fall slowly to the floor in front of your door. Tears started to roll down your cheeks as you sobbed uncontrollably. You knew babies kicked hard but you felt like there was definitely something wrong.

“He-help! S-s-someone help m-me, please!” you tried calling out between sobs. The baby was still kicking.

“Oh, dear! What happened?!” Mrs. Cha, the front neighbor, came out of her apartment quickly.

“Th-the baby!” you yelled grabbing your belly desperately.

No more words were needed for her to understand. She called her son to help her carry you to her car and headed for the hospital.

“Miss, I need you to calm down and not panic,” said the doctor, “We need to get the baby out, now.”

“Why, w-what happened?” you cried still in pain.

“It seems…the umbilical cord is choking the baby. There isn’t much time; you won’t be able to give birth naturally.”

More tears flowed. “Where’s Kai?” You barely whispered.

“I called him a minute ago, he’s on his way,” said Mrs. Cha, who was still in the room with you.

Your eyes widened. The kicking stopped. You thought being this scared was impossible.

“I-I don’t feel the baby,” you said shocked, “I don’t feel the baby anymore!!” you desperately sobbed.

“Our baby!! Kai!!”

“Hold her,” ordered the doctor.

Next thing you knew, everything went black.

You felt a weird emptiness when you regained consciousness. You opened your eyes to find yourself in a different room.

“My baby!” you exclaimed trying to get up.

“Shh, it’s okay. The baby’s fine,” Mrs. Cha said.

‘She’s still here?’

“Where’s Kai?” you asked noticing it was daytime already.

No answer. You thought she didn’t hear you, so you asked again.

Still no answer.

“Mrs. Cha, where’s Kai?” you pressed.

“He…,” she took a deep breath, “he had an accident last night.”

“Oh my God!” you gasped, “Is he alright, where is he?!”

She shook her head. “He… didn’t make it. I’m sorry…”

Her words echoed in your head.

‘He’s…dead?!’

You felt the room spinning, sickening you.

“You’re lying! He said he would be back, you’re lying!” you yelled, eyes filled with tears.

Mrs. Cha left the room to give you space but you just felt like running after her to tell her to stop lying, that Kai was alive and happy that the baby was born without problems, that she was being a cruel person joking like that. But you knew she would never do that, anyone who did was just a sick person.

 You felt so numb. It wasn’t until the nurse came in that you noticed you were crying.

“Why is mommy so sad on a wonderful day like today?” she said talking to the baby in her hands. Your baby.

“Congratulations,” she handed you the baby, “It’s a girl.”

You broke into desperate sobs, like those of a child who cries for his mother.

One year later

Your daughter was sleeping peacefully on your bed. You laid beside her, staring in awe. Was it even possible for her to resemble her father that much? All her features, except for her wavy hair, screamed Kai. You gently caressed her face and thought about how happy he would’ve been right now. Tears escaped your eyes but you wiped them away quickly.

After the baby woke up, you decided to go for a stroll around the park to get some fresh air. The park which holds the precious memory of the day you told Kai the news. The sun was up and proud, shining like crazy but the winter breeze kept it cool. It was a day you wished you could be spending in family. A day to be spending with Kai.

‘I miss you…too much for the sake of my heart.’

You got up from the bench and started walking back to your home.

“Piggy.”

A very familiar voice called.