Chapter 2

            Kai didn’t say a word at rehearsal; he was too busy thinking about the girl that he had run into.

            “Kai, what’s got your attention instead of practicing?” asked their choreographer.

            “Nothing…sorry…I’ll try to pay closer attention…”

            “Good…now where was I?  Oh yes, now step on 1, 2, and 3, 4.”

            They continued to follow their teacher’s instructions, but Kai just wasn’t getting it.

            “Jongin,” whispered Suho, “are you okay?”

            “Yeah, I’m fine…just having a little trouble focusing…”

            “Is it your-”

            “No, it’s not.”

            “Kai,” called their teacher again, “what’s going on with you today?”

            “He met a girl,” teased Sehun.

            “Shut up!” said Kai.

            “Seriously!?” exclaimed Chanyeol, “what’s she look like!?”

            “Shut up Chanyeol,” said Baekhyun, “we have to keep practicing.  We can tease Jongin back at the dorms.”

            “Guys!” yelled their teacher, “focus, or have you all had enough for the day?”

            “We’ve had enough!” whined Chen, “I can’t dance anymore!”

            “Fine…hit the showers…”

            They twelve members let the practice room and headed back home.  Once inside the dorm, Kai realized he hadn’t taken his medication yet today.

            “I’ll be right back,” he said.

            He went to the kitchen cabinet and took out his pills.  He swallowed it dry then cleared his throat to force it down.

            He was startled by Kris the door, “When do you need to up your dose again?” he asked.

            “Soon...I only have like seven pills left so…next week.”

            Kris and Kai both retreated back to the living room while they all waited for Luhan and Sehun to get out of the showers.

            Kyungsoo entered the living room from the bedroom he shared with Kai, Chen and Suho, “Jongin, you need to clean your side of the room, it’s a mess…”

            “I didn’t do it,” he replied, “Lion did!”

            “What?” asked a very confused Kyungsoo.

            None of the members knew about Lion.  It was only something that Jongin could see before he was on medication.  Since being diagnosed, he hadn’t seen any of his imaginary friends.

            “Lion?” asked Chen.

            “Whose Lion?” added Baekhyun.

            “H-he’s something I talked to when I was little…” he answered quietly.

            “Like an imaginery friend?” guessed Chanyeol. 

            “It part of being schizophrenic…” Kai added, “But I haven’t heard him since I was little…”

            “Are you hearing him now?” asked Suho concerned.

            “N-no…I’m not sure why I just said that…”

            “Maybe you’re just stressed out about the new choreography,” said Tao, “doesn’t stress sometimes bring stuff back for you?”

            “Yeah…maybe…”

            “You’re probably tired too,” added Xiumin, “we all are…Sehun, Luhan,” he yelled across the dorm, “hurry your asses up!”

            “I’m done…” said Sehun coming into the room drying his wet hair with a towel, “Whoever’s next can go.”

            “Jongin, you go, and then go right to sleep,” said Kyungsoo.

            He nodded and stood up from the couch and headed to the bathroom.

            Kai closed the bathroom door behind him and stripped himself of the sweaty cloths.  He stepped into the steaming shower, he closed his eyes to try and relax himself.

            Jongin, I missed you so much.

            His eyes snapped open.

            Did you miss me? 

            “Go away…” he whispered to the voice in his head.

            Awe that hurts Jongin…remember all the fun we used to have together?  It was great!  Let’s have fun together like we used to.

            “No, get out of my head, I know your not really there.”

            You can’t see me anymore.  I’m sad now.

            Kai ignored the voice of his childhood imaginary.

            I’ve grown up just like you; I’m big and strong just like you.  So just see me again, please Jongin?

            Kai looked up at the ceiling, but instead of seeing the cute baby lion he used to see when he was little, he saw a monster.

            He stumbled to the floor of the tub and gripped his hair, “Get out of my head!” he screamed.

            He took three deep breaths to try and calm himself, then he looked up slowly…there was nothing there.

            He took a sigh of relief.

            There was a knock at the door, “Jongin, are you okay?” it was Kyungsoo.

            “Y-yeah…f-fine,” he replied loudly through the door.

            “Well, alright.  Hurry up, okay?  We all need our sleep.”

            “Y-yeah…I’m almost done,” he called back.

            He turned off the shower and wrapped himself in the towel that sat on the toilet seat.

            Once his teeth were brushed, he made his way to his room and closed the door so he could get dressed into his pajamas.  It was almost midnight by the time Kai had tucked himself in bed and was finally able to close his eyes.

            He had nightmares that night.  Lion was with him again and he was telling Jongin to do all these bad things.

            Do it.  Lion encouraged, they’ll like it if you do it.

            Kai looked down to what he held in his hand.  It was a knife.  Just like the one he had threatened his sister with when he was young. 

            “No, I can’t hurt them,” he said aloud.

            Jongin, we’ve talked about this before.  If you don’t do it, I will.

            “Stop it, what do you want?”

            Stab them, stab them all.  I want them gone.  They’re trying to rip us apart.  I don’t want to leave you again.

            “Jongin, you need to stop right now!” yelled Chanyeol who was suddenly standing in front of him.

            “I can’t,” he said, “I have to do this!”

            “Jongin, no,” it was Kyungsoo this time, “remember how good you felt when you took your medication?”

            “No!” Kai screamed.

            Do it now!

            Kai listened to the voices in his head this time and ran at his friends.  He plunged the knife into one of them, but he could no longer tell who was who.

            Kai shot up in bed, breathing heavily and slightly sweating.

            He tried to catch his breath.  Lion was no longer talking to him and he felt like he could finally relax.

            Kai lay back down and pulled the covered up over his head.  He wrapped his arms around his knees and stayed in the fetal position the rest of the night.

            “Stay away, stay away,” he chanted in a whisper until sleep took him once again.