I have a little secret. Nothing very special, because it's just like any other secrets that people have. I have been having a silly feelings for my teacher. Every time he smiles at me, my knees give out and my heart bursts like every fangirl would upon seeing her idol. Mr. Bang isn’t an idol, though. He’s my teacher.

It was on a Wednesday morning when he had our math class for three periods. “That means he’s going to stay here the whole hour before recess!” I was very delighted with the thought of being able to see Mr. Bang with the longest duration of time. I tried hard to keep it down but I couldn't stop grining. My friends noticed me and sent me weird looks.

“Hey, Daehyun. I thought math was never your thing. What's with the bright face?” asked Youngjae, who was sitting beside me. “It was never my thing, past tense. I woke up this morning and realized that I like math,” I answered without giving him a glance. Youngjar is that smart- student who always gets good grades in math. He is also one of Mr. Bang’s favorite students. I was a bit envious of him on that part, but we get along just fine.

I heard the door opened and closed. The teacher stood in front of the class and we greeted him, “Good morning Mr. Bang.” “Good morning class. You may take your seats.” “Thank you Mr. Bang,” we said in unison and sat down. “Now let’s start our discussion, kindly open your text book on page...," his voice faded away as I was strucked by his ordinary yet attractive appearance. I did my best to keep my attention to the subject he was teaching but I couldn't help paying more attention to his face than his math. He got this clean-cut tidy hair and his clothes neat. He has broad shoulders and slim legs. His overall personality is very nice. He is known to be generous to students but he also lives up to his principles, that is to obey rules and be discplined. Who wouldn’t be attracted to a fine man like him? Even my female classmates admitted once that they had a small crush on him. In my case, I had fallen in love.

*

“Daehyun!” Youngjae's shout startled me and brought me back from my train of thoughts. “You're going to leave a hole on the back of Mr. Bang's head at this rate. You were staring at him like you were shooting cupid's arrows. And stop smiling like a creep, Daehyun. Let’s go to the cafeteria and eat.” Youngjae is sassy and annoying at times but I got used to it already. I shrugged my shoulders and let it pass.

I was walking through the corridor with Youngjae when a low voice called my name. It sent chills down to my spine. Crap, it's Mr. Bang. I turned around to face the teacher. “Yes, sir?” I asked.

“Please see me at my office. I need to talk to you for a second.” I was sure it sounded more like a demand.

I turned to Youngjae and gave him a disappointed I'm sorry, I had to go look but Youngjae's face said that it's fine, see you later. He walked and left me alone with Mr. Bang.

“Daehyun, come with me.” At this point, my heart started to pick up its rhythm. He asked me to see him in his office? I thought of ways to calm my heart down and tried to make my nervousness not obvious. I did not want him to sense it. I had never been to the teachers' office before and I wonder what could be the reason for him to see me. The possibilities of what could happen in the conversation that was about to happen truthfully filled me up with anxiousness.

“Please, take a seat," said Mr. Bang as we arrived at his office. I was silent the entire time and only looked down to my knees when I took a seat on the side of his cubicle and he took his seat as well. We were not too far seated to each other but the space was enough to maintain professionality. 

"Daehyun, please take a look at these," he asked as some papers were handed to me. I frowned upon seeing the red marks all over surface.

“I’m afraid you might fail this school year if we didn’t do something about your grades.” He had this serious look on his face that discouraged me to even take a slight glance on his face. I was disappointed to find out about my grades and that out of all the teachers, Mr. Bang was the one who brought it up. "Is everything fine okay?" Mr. Bang continued.

“Everything is fine, Sir. I tried to study hard but I guess I'm not smart enough, Sir.”

“I’m thinking of giving you a private tutoring.”

“Private…tutor?” my jaws dropped, I swear.

“Yes, I’m gonna be your private tutor. We’ll start our first meeting tomorrow. You will have to go to my apartment approximately at…” he took a glance of his watch and continued, “5 in the afternoon. Got it?”

“g-got it, sir.”

“you may leave.” I stood up from my chair and walked out of the room. but before that, I heard him call my name again. “Daehyun, I need your contact.”

“oh, right.” I wrote my phone number on the piece of paper he gave me.

“I’ll text you my address later. Good luck, daehyun.” He smiled at me. I felt a heat spread on my chest and cheeks. Good thing I’m good at hiding those.

“thank you, sir.” I bowed and ran to my class. He asked my phone number!

This is gonna be fun, he’s my tutor now! I could go to his house every day! I’m so happy with that.

*

I was looking at the address on my phone and the number written on the door. “this must be it.” I stepped forward and knocked his door.

“Mr. Bang? It’s me, daehyun.” Several seconds after that, the door  was opened. There stood a young man with a black wife beater and skinny jeans. I’ve never seen him wearing this kind of attire, he looked damn so cool!

“oh, hi daehyun. Come in.” I took off my shoes and put them on the shoes rack before entering his house.

“So…this is your apartment, sir? It’ so simple.”

“yeah. I like simple things.” He answered.

“so, where are we going to start studying, sir?”

“hey, drop the sir thingy. You have to call me with hyung outside the school.”

“okay…yongguk hyung?”

“yeah like that.” We chuckled together and sat on the couch.

“shall we start?”

“sure.”

*

It’s been three and half months since then. He taught me a lot of things. My grades increased, because of him. Somehow, I found out that I was just physically attracted to him. But I won’t deny if you say I have a crush on him. Well…a little bit.

It was Friday afternoon, the class had been dismissed. I was sitting at a bench along the main corridor. It was raining hard, I can’t go home and I have no tutorial class with yongguk hyung. So I sat there, alone, playing my mp3 with my ears plugged. I was enjoying my favorite song with my eyes closed until  somebody unplugged my earphone.

“hey! Wh—” I was going to scold that person but when I realized it’s yongguk, my mouth shut.

“hey. I was calling you just now. Why you haven’t gone home yet?” he took a seat beside me as I adjust my sitting position.

“Oh, sorry. It’s raining, I can’t go home like that,” I answered.

“Me too. Can’t ride my motor bike in this kind of weather.”

“yeah, it would be dangerous.”

And…the awkward moment came. It’s not totally awkward though. It’s a kind of comforting silence? Whatever. The tension became thicker, it’s only the two of us in here. Everybody had gone home already. This thought made my heart thumps faster. I could feel he moves closer to me. I took a glance of him and our eyes met. I can see his perfect features this close. He’s so perfect. And then the next thing I knew was his lips were on mine. He kissed me!

“Hey daehyun, wake up from your daydream.” , it wasn’t real. What am I thinking.

“Was I? sorry, hyung. I need to go now. Thanks for the company,” I said and walked out. But he managed to grab my hand before I left the building.

“I’ll ride you home,” he offered. “no, no need. It’s not raining hard anymore. See you.” I ran away quickly to the bus stop and sat there to wait for my bus. My thoughts were back to the daydream I had earlier. What was I thinking? That was so wrong daehyun, you shouldn’t think that way. He’s your teacher. I groaned in frustrate, what should I do? My feelings will grow anytime. Should I just avoid him? I stepped in the bus that I’ve waited with that question hanging on my mind. Maybe I should just avoid and forget him.

*

Days passed really fast. I really did avoid him. I didn’t attend his class several times, I didn’t come up to his house for tutorials with cliché reasons, I avoided meeting him along corridors. Youngjae once told me that I’m being a drama king freak, I know that. I just can’t face him. I’m ashamed. I’m scared this feeling will grow even more. I knew this was wrong. Now I’m feeling  like a girl. Tsk.

It was another Wednesday where we had math class. This time, I didn’t run away. I learnt that I should just face whatever happens. The class discussion was just as usual as it is. He taught like there’s nothing between us. Of course, he didn’t know anything about my feelings.

The class was dismissed for recess. He was fixing his math books as I’m about to step out of the classroom. But he called my name.

“What is it sir?” I asked.

“Why are you skipping my classes and  tutorials?” I turned around to face him and stayed as calm as possible.

“To avoid you, sir,” I replied.

“Why are you avoiding me?” I sighed at his question. Should I tell him? What if he’s disgusted by that? But I’ll never know until I try right? So…

“do you remember that time when we were sitting alone? And you said that I was having a daydream?”

“ yeah. And what’s with that?”

I’m not sure if I have to say this first but, “I was thinking about…you kissing my lips.” He seemed stunned but stayed still anyway.

“look, I’m sorry about that. But, I think I have a crush on you and I thought by avoiding you would make it go away. I’m sorry,” I continued. Silence came after that, and it was so awkward. But I feel a little bit relieved, I’m just scared of his reaction.

“Deahyun, why don’t you confess to me earlier?” he broke the silence.

“because, I don’t think you would like me back.”

“What makes you think that way?”

“because…I’m just your student. And you are my teacher.”

i'm sorry i have to end it that way.

i'm not satisfied yet TT and sorry to keep you guys waiting. sorry for bad plot and sorry for everything. but i still hope you guys like it and comment it xD 

thanks~