"Time..." Youngjae sighed, offering up a half smile to his new found friend, Himchan. "Time makes you move on. It has a way of letting you have your space to just wallow in your self-pity when you need to, but also kicking you in the when you need to get your together." 

     Himchan couldn't help but smile, albeit sadly, at the way the younger worded the analogy. Time may make you move on, but for Himchan; time couldn't come fast enough. Alcohol was much faster than time. More effective, too. So, he downed the rest of his scotch and ordered another. 

     And, as he drank himself silly while a hopeless Youngjae watched on, he couldn't help but laugh at how so terribly ironic the situation was. Oh, the universe must take some kind of sick pleasure out of putting him in painful situations like this. Youngjae, too. From what Himchan understood; his dongsaeng had not had an easy life. 

     Youngjae would brush it off, saying that that was all in the past. Yeah, Himchan scoffed. Everything was in the past. Hell, walking through the doors of this ranky bar was in the past. The time Himchan broke his arm was in the past, and the messy break up he had with Daehyun earlier today was in the past. 

     But that didn't mean it hurt any less.

     And, what was the meaning of it all, anyway? Every second between his first breath and his last blink was in the past. And everything from his next blink to the next time he carves into the skin on his thighs is in the future, and that was something he didn't know, couldn't know. The future is unknown and scary and the past was full of hurt and regret. What did that make where he was, right here, right now? What was the present? You're always in the present, stuck between the past and the future, feeling hurt, lonely, and scared less, to top it all off.

     Himchan has got to say; life is pretty ing terrible when you live in the present. 

WARNIINGS: This story will contain self-harm and mention . If these are something that trigger you, please do not read it!! 

A/N: I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE POSTING ANOTHER ING STORY SINCE I HAVE LIKE A MILLION AND A HALF THAT ARE WAITING TO BE UPDATED BUT I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS JUST A SUPER ANGSTY ONESHOT, MAYBE A TWOSHOT SINCE IT'S GETTING PRETTY LONG OH YEAH DID I MENTION IT'S ALREADY IN THE MAKING HHHH OKAY SORRY FOR YELLING TURNING OFF CAPS NOw but no really this popped into my head and now i can't write anything else so deal with it. I will try to focus on my other stories before this one, however, so yeah :3 maybe just wait a week or so for it~