Twenty-Four
His ReplyI open the door and peek inside the house. The first thing I see are the crumpled clothes strewn on the floor and the bowl of popcorn. My chest is filled with dread at this moment. There are no other people here other than Yoon Jae and JoonHee. My worst fears are coming to life.
The door to Yoon Jae’s room is left slightly ajar. I see him sleeping on his bed half-, with the blanket covering the lower half of his body. He’s having a deep sleep. I gently push the door open and regret it after. JoonHee is sleeping beside him, also half-.
This could only mean one thing.
After she burst into a ferocious fit, I clutch the hem of my shirt. I don’t know what’s making me feel this way. I did what I wanted, what my heart wanted, and what I got was this. Being screamed at. Sung Shi Won is one hell of a mad woman.
“What now?! You’re not gonna say anything?” she says.
“Don’t you dare step into this house again!” Yoon Jae answers firmly.
The muscles in her jaw strain with the sudden flush of added anger. She gives his cheek a hard slap.
“You don’t do that to me! My parents know we’re married!”
“But it’s not true! And I don’t love you.”
His last sentence renders her in a momentary pause. She massages her temple, pondering on how such thing can ever be uttered.
“And you love him?” she says, pointing a trembling finger at me.
“More than you’ll ever know.” Yoon Jae affirms.
She looks at me, eyes devoid of any emotion but rage. Then she throws a jab on my cheek.
“I thought I can trust you, Kang JoonHee. It turns out you’re just waiting for the right time to let my prey go. You’re a pretentious, ingrate !”
Her words flare up my pride. She lets her rage destroy me even more.
“And don’t expect me to forgive you-”
I strike both of her cheeks that it almost throws her on the floor. I feel the rush of triumph seeing her face red and her lower lip bleeding.
“I’ve had enough of playing the good guy, Shi Won! I’m doing what I want and that is to love Yoon Yoon Jae. I’ve been hurting for so long that it won’t hurt me to see you cry now. I want to be happy, and I’ll do it my way. Now if you won’t forgive me, then don’t. I’d rather see you die and go to hell.”
At this rate, she composes herself and leaves us alone. Yoon Jae throws his arms around me when the doors slam shut. I hold him tight and cry my heart out. His touch soothes me. I need nothing else but that.
I seal the last box with a packaging tape. My heart drops at doing this tedious task. JoonHee arranges his clothes inside his luggage, as silent as I. since this morning we barely spoke a word to each other. I still don’t get it why he has to leave, and why it has to be because of her.
He looks up at me. “Are the boxes ready?”
I nod. I fold my arms over my chest and stare at a blank space.
“I’m sorry, Yoon Jae.”
“You don’t have to do this.” I say.
He stands up and flops on the couch beside me.
“I don’t want to do this, but I have to. This is the only way to get things even. I need to stay away so all of us won’t get hurt.”
I don’t see the point in that. In the end I hold his hand.
“I should be sorry to you. I want to stop you from going but I don’t know how.”
“Yoon Jae-ah, you don’t have to. It’ll be fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”
I drew out a heavy breath. This is the finish line of everything we fought for.
“Whatever happens, it’s over. I won’t see you again.”
He stands up and the moment our eyes meet, I see emptiness and lethargy. If there is one person who suffered through all this, it’s him. I’d never stop feeling guilty about it.
“In time, Yoon Yoon Jae. In the right time. Maybe we’ll both be prepared to love again.”
Maybe. Or maybe not. The best thing I can do for now is let him go. That way, I can make him feel that I really do love him.
“By the way, I have to go. The driver is waiting for me downstairs.” He says.
“Sure.”
Though it hurts me to see him go, I just have to endure it all. I hug him from the back and whisper in his ear.
“Take care.”
The rain pours gently from the dark gray sky. Every drop screams the pain in my heart. Casting a long look on the exact window of our apartment, I’m praying I made the right decision. Leaving him should be worth it, if that’s what it takes to end everything. I’ll always love Yoon Jae even if it means that starting today, I won’t see him again. He’s engraved in my heart, never to fade until eternity.
“Did you forget anything?” the driver asks.
“No, let’s go.”
I hop inside the truck, and in one swift motion, it brings me away to where my heart really belongs.
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