Do you know what it's like to have a bestfriend?! Well you most likely have, because everyone has a bestfriend...everyone but me. I used to have a bestfriend, he was truly the best but that was back than. I lost my bestfriend without even knowing it, he just slipped through the cracks, and out of my grasp.

I was gone for two years, going through Japan and America; just touring and living life. He, my bestfriend was in South Korea and rarely in Japan. The last time I saw him on a friendly matter was 2008 but now it's 2011 and well I can't say we've been on good terms.

Sometimes I wonder whether I could've persuaded him along with my other two friends to not do what they were going to do. But they're grown men, they'd probably ignore me...maybe they would've, maybe they wouldn't.

Our friendship was great, we'd cheer each other on and just talk about relationships. I really didn't see him much, but we talked on the phone a lot. He'd tell me through the phone what was going on at the time, but he'd leave out the consequences. He didn't know though, that the company would call me informing me that my bestfriend was a so-called "Traitor". Seriously do you know how much hearing that hurt?!

But what hurt the most was talking to you through the phone, pretending everything was good. We both knew the situation very well... We knew it, I knew it... I wouldn't believe it. I kept fooling myself and making myself think that after a couple months everything would be back to normal. It wasn't, everything changed, it changed for the worse.

Once I came back to Korea I was hurt. To be gone for so long, expecting to see your bestfriend there waiting for you with a smile on his face but being met up with the fact that I was prohibited from seeing you?! Really?! Now that's messed up...

When I was in Korea I couldn't see you, I couldn't talk to you, I couldn't do anything. I surely would've gone crazy if it wasn't for Heechul lifting my spirits with his antics. Buy being with Heechul didn't replace you as my bestfriend I just hoped you didn't forget me.

Little giant, do you remember that name?! You and Heechul called me that, but because you weren't there that name died. Do you still get called Jaejoongie?! Or did the name die down...I really hope people still call you that...I really do. Why?! Well because maybe you'd be reminded of when I used to call you that.

I really do miss those old times, I've been very lonely without my bestfriend. SMTOWN isn't that same as it was back then, there wasn't anyone to yell "Boa jjang!!" while I'm making a speech. I've actually felt like an outsider a bit, I'd stay close to Heechul, hang out with Kyuhyun and Donghae along with Yunho.

I'd also talk to Jonghyun and Minho. Jonghyun is playful, you'd get along with him and Minho... Well he reminds me a bit of you, he's kind of quite and introverted at first but once you get to know him he becomes really outgoing. He even caked me during SMTOWN in LA, it's not the same as one of your "Boa jjang!!"'s but it helped lighten the mood.

I see you're doing pretty well, you guys have done a lot of concerts throughout the United States. You guys even got chances to be on dramas and on shows, but it makes me mad when the company doesn't broadcast it because of the situation. Those broadcast are probably the only way I could see your face, and people keep taking those broadcast away.

You probably wouldn't care or maybe you would so I'll just say that I'm doing good. Right now I'm shooting a movie in Toronto. Yunho is making a cameo in the film too...so that's great; at least I won't be lonely. You want to know something weird Yunho told me today?! He said that you're in Canada as well, just in Vancouver.

I wonder why he told me though, does he know that I miss you?! Anyway oddly enough he not only told me you were in Vancouver but he also told me what hotel you were staying in. He told me that if I had something to say, to give you a call. He's weird right?!

I'm not going to lie I took his words into consideration, and right now I'm contemplating on whether to call you.

Not because I don't miss you, but because I wouldn't know what to say. If I call you; should I cry from joy after hearing your voice, should I be sad because the call would be a reminder of how I can't see you?!

I really wouldn't know where to start; I don't even know why I'm thinking like this. Are you still my bestfriend?! Do I have deeper feelings for you?! Did I unconsciously--

The phone is annoying. Why is it even ringing?! Wait--it's ringing, probably the director telling me to get ready for a scene or something. Picking up the phone I didn't expect what I heard.

"Boa..." The voice huffed

The voice was different, and yet I've heard it before. I looked down at the phone and at the caller ID... Someone from Vancouver called. Someone from the same hotel you are in...and I'm pretty sure that someone was you.

"Jaejoong..." I spoke softly

______________________________________Miss_Red

Sorry if there are mistakes...I really didn't edit it.

Honestly BoA is probably my most favorite kpop artist there is. But sometimes I feel sad for her..because since she's a solo, she's got no one to talk, she doesn't have a group to lean on.

It just seems like since she'd built herself so high up as a Hallyu artist that she's now alone. Compared to BoA in 2008 to 2011 she's got a different stage presence...it's like a shell. I'm just rambling on ^^;

Miss_Red