Dancing Boy: Changjo

I jerk awake as the sunlight streams into the room. Groaning, I try to cover my eyes and fall back into my hazy dreams, but I can’t seem to get into the right position or maybe it’s the ing sun’s fault. Exhaling a tired breath and sitting up slowly, I look at the red numbers staring back at me from across the room. It’s already past nine. I look down at the empty space beside me and feel a pang of disappointment. Had I honestly made myself believe that he’d be here to wake up beside me this time? I grab my phone to see a quick message from Chunji:

Morning, Jagiya~ Did you sleep well? I’m sorry I’m not here with you again this morning ><;; I don’t want to go off to work and leave you all alone, but the holidays are coming up and sweaters and gifts are high in demand… Anyways, I hope you have a good day! Saranghae~ see you tonight :)

I feel the corners of my lips rise a bit into a small smile. I guess even his short texts has a bit of an effect on me. I make my way downstairs for some food, scanning his fridge and pantry. My stomach grumbles as my eyes keep searching the empty food storages, “Honestly, Chunji, are you trying to starve me to death?” I mutter under my breath. I let out a yawn and make a quick text. A few moments later I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I almost laugh at how reliable Changjo is.

“Yah, _________! Why isn’t your boyfriend feeding you?!” I keep my phone a good distance away until he’s calmed down.

“It that all?” I ask mockingly after there aren’t any more audible shouts coming from the other end of the call. “I didn’t text you so you could yell at me and blame Chunji for my starvation. I was going to ask if you want to get some food to eat.”

He scoffs, “Why? Because your boyfriend can’t even take care of his girlfriend?”

I roll my eyes, “Yah, Changjo! You want to get some food? No? Than I’ll just go by myself.”

“FINE! Meet me at the convenience store in ten.” He hangs up before he let’s me say any more. I run upstairs with a large grin creeping up on my lips to put a large grey scarf and black beanie on. I don’t bother changing out of my sweats but I chuck on a dark purple winter sweater with soft fur inside.

“So toasty!” I chime as I waddle to the convenience store. When I get there, Changjo is hopping a little bit while he’s looking down at his phone. Aigoo, never prepared for the weather, is he? “Why didn’t you get a thicker coat?” I yell out.

He looks up surprised and he smirks, “I didn’t feel like it. Plus I can just steal that scarf from you.” I roll my eyes and throw a pair of gloves at him.

“Here, wear these and let’s go!” I say walking ahead of him. He quickly catches up with me. At the corner of my eyes I see him examining the gloves I gave him. “What? You got a problem with my Pororo gloves, or something?”

He chuckles, “Nah, I find them very… cute.”

I roll my eyes and shoot him a smirk, “Sure you do.” Opening up the door to the diner. We both settle into our regular seats; since no one is usually here at this time of the day we can usually take any seat we wish. A server that I haven’t seen before greets us with a friendly smile. Than her eyes land on Changjo and I see her eyes widen just a fraction before she goes into an even happier expression (was that even possible?)

“Oppa! I didn’t know you were planning to eat here!” She squeals poking his shoulder awkwardly. I give a slightly confused look in which he completely ignores.

Changjo laughs uncomfortably, “Oh, I didn’t plan on eating here actually, and I didn’t know you worked here either Eun Ji.”

She giggles and tucks a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. “Oh that’s true! Anyway, your meal is on me.” She hands over the menus, “Take as long as you’d like! I’ll be back in a few.” She smiles happily at Changjo than turns to me with a tight expression.

I take my scarf off, “Who was that?” I ask in a low voice, taking sideways glances as she happily walks off towards the kitchen.

He just shakes his head not even bothering to look up from his menu, “It’s no one important.”

“Really? You two seem pretty friendly in my view.” I glance back at the kitchen, “And she’s really pretty also…

“Quit staring. She’s not someone I really care for; she’s just someone I’ve seen around when I go out to hang out with friends and stuff. She’s always wanting to talk to me and it gets super annoying, actually.” He says with clear irritation in his tone.

Choosing to overlook his tone, I proceed with questions, “Well she definitely seems to like you. You’re sort of forever single anyway, why don’t you give it a shot?”

This time he looks up from his menu. He locks eyes with me and I see something flicker in his expression. It almost looked like disappointment. But he looks away quickly and back at his menu as though the moment had never happened, “I’m not into her right now, and probably for the next billion or so years from now, okay?”

My shoulders droop, “Don’t you like anyone at all? You’re a really sweet guy, they probably feel the same way.”

He looks up at me again but this time his face looks more frustrated than anything. He opens his mouth to say something, but just then Eun Ji walks in with her giant smile and turns to Changjo immediately, “So what can I get you, Oppa?”

His shoulders droop and he skims back at the menu for a second then says his usual order of eggs, sausages, and bread. She jots them down quickly and doesn’t even bother to face me as she’s asking me for my order. I ask for strawberry and banana pancakes. She lingers a bit longer than she should, asking Changjo random questions until someone from the kitchen shouts at her to come back.

“She sure is energetic.” I say.

“So what’re you doing for Christmas?” He asks, changing the topic quickly that I could hardly have any time to realize it.

“Christmas? Chunji and I are going to spend Christmas together again. We’re probably just going to stay home and do all the cheesy couple things people do. What about you?”

He shrugs, “Spending it with my music and the internet, of course.” He smiles back at me, “So what’re you planning to get for Chunji?”

I scratch the back of my head, “Um, I actually don’t have a clue. I was planning to go shopping sometime soon.”

He perks up, “Why not today? After breakfast, you already seem good to go.”

I shrug, “We could, if you aren’t busy or anything.”

“I'm free for the day. So what do you say? Shopping?”

I laugh, “Why’re you so excited to go shopping? Aren’t guys usually annoyed when girls ask them to go shopping with them?”

He rolls his eyes, “Stop being so ist. Plus, I’m always looking through clothes and shopping online, I haven’t gone out to the real world to shop anytime soon, so naturally I’m excited.”

I laugh just as Eun Ji sets our food down with a bit of attitude; she gives me a tense expression and I cringe back into my seat. She turns to Changjo again, “Is there anything else I can get you?” We both shake our heads, although I already know that she’s not acknowledging me…

“AIGOO, I’M SO FULL!” I yell out to the cool air. I stuff my hands into my pockets since they’re slowly turning into popsicles.

“Yah, don’t scream like that. You’re bothering the peace.” He said, rubbing his stomach.

I roll my eyes, “So what do guys like for gifts? I guess you could be my guide, right? Chunji is sort of a picky guy though.”

He turns to the stores instead of facing me, “I don’t know what Chunji wants. I’m not him.” His tone sounds a bit icy.

I sigh, “Yeah you’re not, but you are his friend so you should know what he likes and dislikes, right?”

He turns to me with his eyebrows knitted together, “Well aren’t you his girlfriend? You should know all about him.”

I frown, “Hey, what’s up with the sudden mood change? Is something wrong?”

His face relaxes and he lets out an awkward laugh, “I was just pointing out the obvious. It’s nothing.” He looks up at the store that we’re in the midst of passing, “Hey look! They’ve got a sale! Fifty percent off the entire store, want to have a look?”

I’m confused. “Um, sure-”

“Than let’s go.” He opens the door for me and quickly goes to the other end of the store. I sigh, He’s so weird. I look around the store, looking for something Christmas-y, or something potentially good for Chunji. I find a bunch of necklaces on the racks, as I’m looking through one I find a metal dog tag. I untangle it from the other ones that got caught with it and read what is says: Dancing Boy.

I smile and take a quick glance at Changjo who is just looking through random CD’s. I sneakily make my way to the cashier and hope he isn’t looking this way.

“How much is it?” I whisper on instinct.

She looks bored out of her mind and says to me in a loud nasal tone that I feel myself cringe. I hand over the money and stuff the bag into one of my deep pockets. I creep up on Changjo and grab his shoulders

“Hey! Are you done?”

I see his eyes widen but his face softens and he shoots me a grin, “Sure. Did you buy anything?”

I shake my head, “Nope! I couldn’t find something Chunji might like,” I half lie. “Shall we leave?”

“I guess so.” He walks out with me as the girl tells him thanks and goodbyes in the same uninterested tone that she gave me.

~The Night Before Christmas~

I call for the seventh time. The rings last two more times and I finally hear a click that lets me know he’s answering, “Hello?”

“Chunji, it’s the seventh call, what’s going on? Why aren’t you here? It’s Christmas eve!”

I hear him let out an exasperated sigh, “Babe, I’m busy right now. They’re saying if I leave them now they’ll kick me out.”

“Why is it so busy? Don’t you guys have hours?”

“It’s the holidays, people are getting last minute gifts online and we have to ship them out soon. I can’t just leave my guys.”

But what about me?

“Chunji, what’s wrong?” I hear a groggy female voice in the back. Did Chunji hire girls to the company? He didn’t mention it yet…

“It’s nothing.” I hear him say faintly. He must be covering the phone or something… “_________, I’ll be home in the morning! I’ll definitely spend Christmas with you.”

I feel my lips curve into a small smile than I shake my head, “You promise?”

“Promise.”

“Alright than, good luck. See you tomorrow! Love you.” He hangs up just as the last word slips out of my mouth. I feel my shoulders droop and I fiddle with my phone in my hands. The screen brightens up and I see a text from Changjo.

Just wanted to say Merry Christmas! Or almost Christmas anyway…. Are you having fun with your boyfriend? :)

Changjo always seems to know when to text. I send him a quick text and just like last time it only takes a few seconds until my phone starts to ring.

“Hi-”

“Why isn’t Chunji there?!” He’s yelling into the phone but I just keep my phone close to my ear and absorb his yelling.

“He’s busy.”

“A guy would drop anything to spend the holidays with his girl.”

“It’s technically not Christmas.”

He groans, “Stop being such a smart and come over.”

I perk up, “What? It’s the day before Christmas, aren’t you busy? Don’t you have a party to go to or something?”

“Nope. Just come over.” He hangs up quickly before I could reject or say any more. I sit a moment and decide what to do. Should I really go? What if Chunji comes home as a surprise? Should I text him about the possible scenarios? I sigh and run upstairs to grab a thick coat. I take a glimpse at the window; it’s snowing. I’ll just take a quick visit before it snows too hard. I grab a large beanie and mittens. When I open the door Changjo is rubbing his Pororo gloved hands together. There are some white flakes on his head and he’s only wearing a light jacket.

“What’re you doing? I was going to come over!” I say, pushing him inside the house, which causes him to stumble a bit.

“It was just down the street and you were taking longer than you usually do, so I thought I’d just come over.”

“You could’ve gotten sick or something.”

“Don't worry, my house isn’t that far.” He tries to look at me with a smile but I still frown. His shoulders deflate, “________, there was nothing to be concerned about. Plus I was really worried about you.”

I manage a tiny smile and finally a sigh, pulling him into a tight squeeze. My cheek rests on his chest, “You’re the only person I can really count on. Thanks for being here with me.”

He wraps his long arms around my back gingerly. I can feel soft pats on my back. After a second we release and I give him a big grin, “By the way! I have a present for you.”

He seems surprised by this, “A gift for me? Shouldn’t I open it tomorrow?”

I shake my head and take out the small box that was stuffed in my coat and push it towards him. He takes it from me gently and opens the box with such delicacy it almost looks like he’s carrying his new born.

“I’m sorry it’s something really small, but I thought it fit you really well.” I say sheepishly.

He takes out the necklace and looks at it. He looks at it intently and I’m almost scared he doesn’t like it. He’s holding it up and examining it at every angle. Finally, he slings it on with a smirk. “I love it.”

I pout, “Don’t lie to me. It’s super dull and nothing special.”

“I’m not lying I love it, and it’s in every way special to me.” His face is serious but it only takes a few seconds for his lips to curve upwards. He ruffles my hair and takes out a medium sized box. The wrapping paper is light blue with penguins who are wearing small Santa hats; I beam just looking at the paper. I open it quickly, but carefully so I don’t mess up the wrapping paper. Inside is a cute fuzzy white bear with a mini bowtie around its neck. I take it out of the box and hug it tightly in my arms.

“It’s super cute!”

I see a grin sneak up on his lips even though he’s looking down at his feet. “I’m glad you like it…”

“Where did you get this-”

There’s a sudden rustle on the doorknob. We both look over. Someone’s opening the door with a pair of keys. Chunji. I suddenly perk up and run to the door.

The door opens and a couple staggers in.

I blink, completely frozen. I can smell their sour scents and hear their slurring giggles. The guy looks up. His light brown hair, which is usually neat with only a few stray hairs, is now turned into a giant messy beast. His eyes lock onto mine and his smirk lowers slowly. I can see on his neck a few deformed pink dots all over… Are those hickeys?

The girl is stumbling all over and grabbing onto Chunji’s arm for some support. “Oppa! Where’s your room? I thought we’re going to go lay down.” She whines. The girl some how finally notices me standing there still in shock. She than looks back at Chunji, “Oppa, I don’t know her. Who is she?”

Chunji answers something that I can’t hear since everything seems to be getting fainter and fainter. My heart that was beating hard earlier feels like it’s come to a stop and split in half. I feel my eyes burning from threatening tears. I don’t want to cry in front of him. But I’m shaking now.

We’re still making eye contact and he’s saying something to me now but I can’t hear him. Everything is blocked out. Suddenly he takes a step towards me and that’s when I dash out of the house. The door was still open so I just push through them and run through the cool street.

I keep running until my lungs feel like they’ve been set on fire. I slow down my pace and find somewhere to sit. There’s a small children’s park that seems to look as sad as I probably do. I sit down at one of the snow-layered swings.

I wrap my arms around myself. I had taken off my bigger coat earlier and now I remained with a thin knitted sweater. I pulled down my hat to cover my ears that is probably really red by now.

Suddenly, I hear soft crunches. I gulp and stand up, ready to sprint if it’s some kind of lonely looking for a victim during the holidays.

“_______, it’s Changjo.”

I sigh in relief and sit back down. He sits down on the swing besides me. At first there’s moment of silence. My eyes still burn but I can’t seem to release any tears.

“You’re better off without him.” He suddenly says. I sit up and stare at him in shock. Then abruptly, they start falling down. I can taste the saltiness in my mouth. I sniffle and try my best to wipe them away, but it seems as though they were building up and finally bombarding with gigantic waterfall. I cover my face with my hands to try to muffle my disgusting sounds. A pair of hands grabs my wrists so I’m not covering my face.

I’m whimpering now, but the tears are slowly stopping. “I thought he l-loved me. He said he did.” The salty taste is making me gag. “Those were all lies weren’t they? Tell me the truth. He was lying to me about… everything, right?”

I feel myself shake and I just want to curl up into a ball and surround myself in my tears. Changjo still has my wrists and suddenly his hands move down to my hands. Without warning he pulls me up from the seat and before I could fall, his hands snake around my waist. He pushes the back of my head gently into his chest. My nose gets a full helping of his minty scent.

“Changjo…”

He squeezes me tighter and I feel the reassuring pats on my back, “It’s going to be okay, alright?” After a moment I nod my head. His lips brush my ear for a second and I feel a small shiver, “It’s going to be okay because I’m going to be there for you. No matter what happens. _______, I love you.”

My eyes widen and I push him away from me, just so I can see him square in the eye, “What’re you saying?!”

He sighs, “I know. I have the worst timing in the world, but I don’t need an answer right now, okay?” He let’s go of me and holds my face in his hands. He wipes a few wandering tears away from my eyes. “I’m even okay if you’re not into me like that.” He laughs awkwardly, “I would hate that, but I’ll be here for you.”

I’m still confused as to what he’s telling me. After five years of being friends, how could I never seen the signs? When did he start liking me? Why does he like me?

He lets go of me and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’m sorry. This isn’t the right time, was it?” He shakes his head, “You probably think I’m the now, right? Hitting on you right after you witnessed that.” He looks down at his shoes. “Sorry, I’m here for you though. I want you to know that. We don’t have to talk about what I just said earlier.”

He’s still looking at his feet. I sigh and kick his foot gently. He looks up at me again and I almost have to smile. “Yah, Changjo. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

He gives me a small shrug, “You had Chunji and I didn’t want to mess up anything we had as friends.”

“Well… I’m sorry, Changjo. I can’ t answer you right now.”

He nods, “I know that. Considering you’re probably still hung up on Chunji.”I try to smile although it’s a bit forced, “I promise I’ll think about it though!” He’s still looking down at his feet without a smile on his face.

“I’ll even put it up on my calendar so everyday I’ll think about it!” I suddenly blurt out.

I see the start of a smirk and I just have to grin, “Changjo, whether I mean this in a friend way or something more, I love you too.” I pull him into a tight squeeze.

A chorus of bells rings in the distance. It’s midnight and it’s finally Christmas.

“Merry Christmas, ________.”