“How fast do you fall in love?”

That’s been a recurring question in my mind lately.

A fan had asked me. It was another fansign event and she was just another one of the same-faced girls waiting in line, face gleeful and eyes ecstatic when it came to her turn.

I always try my best to answer the fans’ questions (albeit a little sneakily and subtly) but in the end, the only thing I could scribble back as an answer is; “I don’t know” because, really, I don’t know.

I think the bigger question is: “Does anyone ever really know the precise moment when they fall in love?” Maybe I’m the odd man out, but I never really looked at someone and known exactly that I’ve fallen in love. Is there a procedure for it? Do you know when you get that funny feeling in your tummy and your face ends up split in this huge smile? If it is so, then I didn’t get the memo.

When I realized that I was heads-over-heels for Myungsoo, it was hard for me. Because in that same moment, I realized that I’ve been in love with that weird as idiot all this ing time. And, being the dense I am, I only realized it now.

I also had to deal with my sudden change of ual orientation.

That just kept on screwing with my mind for days and weeks. I ended up distancing myself from Myungsoo and nearly jeopardized our whole friendship.

Everyone tried to help. In their own ed up way but ‘help’ nonetheless. Sunggyu gave me ‘the talk’, face expression completely blank and serious the whole time as if he thought I didn’t know better. I nearly fell out of my top bunk in surprise when he whipped out his laptop and said that he was going to show me some educational videos regarding the topic. It was gay .

I screamed bloody murder and Dongwoo burst in, ushering his erted husband out the door.

That was only Sunggyu, and he’s considered the most ‘normal’ out of all seven of us. And that’s saying something.

Dongwoo doted on me, hand and foot. After a point – he had offered to ‘help’ with my ual frustrations – I drew a line and Sunggyu-hyung ed him in the closet.

Hoya merely gave me some of his sushi, whispered “Stay strong” and patted my back.

Sungjong climbed into my bed and hugged me. It was sweet, really, but then he shoved this lollipop down my unsuspecting throat and I nearly died choking.

Woohyun never really gives a , but things around the dorm were so gloomy and depressing at the time that Woohyun and his huge finally butted in.

What he thought would right the situation, really just made me a bit more pissed off. He had opted to have a ‘heart-to-heart’ talk with me. He was all “I’ve noticed your strange behaviour recently” and “it’s ok, we accept you”. The last straw was when he added, “and the between the two of you is just suffocating”. I smacked him upside the head and – finally – he shut up about it.

I was in that much denial.

I went out with a lot of girls, pretty girls and smart girls, trying to convince myself that what I felt for my bandmate was just a passing phase. But amidst all the dates and talking about shoes, I felt a strong longing for Myungsoo and his stupid face and that even more stupid hair ‘do.

That following night, as I lay in Sungjong’s bed, I took out my phone and texted out a simple message saying “I miss you”. It was intended for Myungsoo of course, but – being the sissy I am – I clicked ‘save in drafts’. I meant to, but instead I mistook the ‘save in drafts’ button for the ing ‘send’ button.

For the next five minutes, I was having a mini meltdown and praying that Myungsoo was asleep or –even better – he had slipped on his bathroom mat and experienced a concussion. I was so caught in my thoughts; that I barely realized that my phone had beeped, indicating that I have an unread text message.

It was Myungsoo. Pause for a complete spaz out. It said, “Well why don’t you come here then? I’m just in the room over.”

I told myself “no, you will not go there, and bawl your eyes and beg for forgiveness because you don’t like him and he don’t like you and all you’ll experience is heartbreak and cry like a lot.”

My body obviously has some issues with my brain because next thing I knew, I was tip-toeing out the door and into me and Myungsoo’s room, across from Hoya’s and Sungjong’s. I silently approached the still lump on the lower bunk and flipped open the sheets. I nearly had heart attack when I saw that it was Sungjong, snoring loudly and mumbling something about unicorns and guns.

“I’m up here,” I hear Myungsoo whisper as he sat on my bed.

Numbly, I climbed up. I didn’t get to protest or anything when he promptly pulled me under the covers to snuggle. Our legs were tangled, and he had his limbs wrapped around my waist. My own lanky arms felt awkwardly out of place, smushed in between our chests.

Then he kissed me. Not the full on monty, just this sweet chaste peck. It wasn’t much, but it was something. Enough to make me fall in love with him all over again.

I didn’t know what to do. I felt like punching him in the face and grabbing him by his two cheeks and makeout for a straight hour at the same time. But instead, I just lay there, stock still, staring into his hypnotic eyes.  

Finally, after practically ages passed, he spoke up, “I missed you too.”

“Sungyeol?”

“Yeah, Myungsoo?”

“Are you asleep? You’ve been dreadfully quiet.”

“Naw, just thinking.”

“…”

“…what?”

“That’s a first.”

A/N: There will be more chaps. Not much. Please don't expect Much. I hate that guy.