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Words are useless for certain people.

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White pale skin shining its own radiance under the gleam of moonlight, with shades of adorning crimson blush tinted on the chubby cheeks. His fair complexion is making him glowing like an angel as if he could shine his own light even in the middle of pitch black night. His eyes wandered along the lonely road that lies before his eyes. It’s quiet. A breezy night in the middle of March it was, quite chilly and shivery. He gripped his jacket tighter when the cold air hit his skin. The fair boy lets out a heavy sigh when he remembered he’s running out of time to keep on running around without reason like this. Realizing that there’s no one around him, he lets his legs collapsed before sinking his face in between his knees, fists balled as if he’s trying too hard to restrain his anger from flaring out. That voice belonged to his mother suddenly flashed into his mind… vague, but clear enough to make him fuming in anger even more than he already was.

“Mother, I want to study literature.” He confessed.

The early 40’s woman looked up from the papers she’s reading, taking off her glasses in the process, “What?” She shot him a glare.

Joonmyun swallowed thickly. It took him all of his willpower not to stutter under his mother’s furious gaze, “I want to study literature.” He said again, “I don’t want to take business management as my major.”

The woman sharpened her glare even more, “There’s no way in this world I’ll let you to study that, what? Literature? Oh please.” She mocked, crossing her arms on her chest in pure rejection, “You were born and grow up to become the heir of Kim Company! We have been leading this industry for generations, and now you’re trying to say that you refuse to inherit the glory we’ve achieved? No. Just no.” She said in strict and firm tone.

Joonmyun’s face fell. He wanted to argue, but he knows better than making his mother angry. With that, he looked up and leaned closer to the older woman and said softly, “Then give me time, mother. Give me time to get use to all of this. I promise to you, I won’t complain anymore after I start college.” With his angelic voice, that is very hard to resists.

Mrs. Kim sighed, “3 months.” She put her palms flat on the table, staring straight into Joonmyun’s eyes as if she’s trying to say that she would tolerate no more arguments, “3 months and that’s that.”

Joonmyun nods in defeat.

He had spent his first month with completely meaningless things as he practically woke up and did nothing for the whole day except wandering around his mansion, finding something interesting to explore, which at the end led him to sleep because of exhaustion and boredom. He doesn’t have much friend to have fun with. He doesn’t like playing games or stuffs. He only read books, but sometimes, books could be boring too.

Joonmyun face palm himself remembering the first month that he had spent so stupidly. He hated the fact that he was born to be instructed. He was never allowed to make his own choice. You must do this, you must be like that, you must have this, you must blah blah blah… it’s really tiring hearing his mother’s endless instructions on how to live his life. It’s not that he doesn’t love her. Heck no. He loves her wholeheartedly, but sometimes, how he wished that his mother could actually let him listen to his own heart, do whatever his want to his heart’s desire. Joonmyun had always been an obedient child. He never disobeyed his mother. But he’s just a human that have desires and needs. He wanted to be free too. He wanted to explore the world, write words and sentences and paragraphs as much as he can, publishing his own books, and be happy with his life. Does it too much of a wish?

Maybe he should run away.

He get on his feet and walked back to the Kim’s mansion that everyone had been flattering and envying for generations. Standing in front of the gate, he could only stare at the house that he had lived like in golden cage with unreadable expression on his face. He belonged to the Kim’s. Fate said that he was destined to ride posh cars, sitting on comfy chairs inside his own air-conditioned office, running the business just like how the previous Kim’s generations did back then. But his heart said that he doesn’t want to be here.

Wait, no.

He doesn’t belong here.

He belonged to the world out there. He should be exploring the things in the world that he had never known, going who knows where, doing who knows what. Just like how he always wanted. But then again, no matter how far he goes, at the end, he always found himself being pulled back into this house.

For some reason, Joonmyun felt like being born as a rich kid is a curse, a great catastrophe, a fate that he wanted to run away from.

Joonmyun fished the remote inside his pocket and click on the green button, making it flung open, revealing the gloriousness of the Kim’s that the outsiders never acknowledge. Even by just looking at the golden colored statues lined at the front yard, one could already feel the pride of it. Joonmyun stepped inside, pressing red button before making a beeline towards a tree that grow right next to his room. Like usual, he climbed onto the tree, unlocking the window of his room and jumped into it after making sure there’s nobody there around him. Him room sized twice or thrice bigger than normal bedrooms. He plopped on the bed, crossing his arms on his head, staring at the nothingness in front of his as if thinking— wondering— how would his future looks like. His eyes slowly become heavy. Without bothering to take off his jacket or closing the window first, he lets the darkness to engulf him as he lost deeper inside his own thoughts.

Maybe he should just run away.

Oak trees and the shedding yellowing leaves colored his vision. The silhouette of towering trees above his head makes him feel blessed. It was such a calming picturesque view that sets his heart at ease. The sound of chirping birds that chime into the air, creating its own music lull him to peace and serenity. Oh, how he wished he could live inside this exquisite world forever.

And suddenly..

Beep… Beep… Beep…

Joonmyun open his eyes, only to be greeted by the bone-stinging coldness as the cold air that crept from his window slaps his skin. It’s morning, the moment where dreams end. He stared at the ceiling of his room without any attempt of waking up, if it wasn’t for the knocking sound of his door startled him up, making his remaining fatigue to disappear at once.

“Yes?” He answered lazily.

The maid in black and white outfits twisted the knob as she peeked her head from the tiny opening, “Good morning, young master. Time to wake up. Breakfast is served.” She said simply and walked away without any more words.

Formalities. Oh, how he hates it. Formalities makes him feel old, even when the servants of his house called him young master and such. The word ‘master’ makes him cringe. Lazily, he slipped out of his warm duvet and maneuver his way towards the bathroom to wash up, but stopped by his dresser for a few seconds as a framed picture on it caught his eyes. It’s a picture of him and his deceased father when he was still a little boy. He lifted the picture up, eyes travelled to the background of the picture instead of focusing on the smiling faces in it. He still remember those old days. He still remember when and how this picture was taken. It’s a last picture he took with his father before the man died. His eyes then traveled to each alphabet written at the bottom left of the picture.

Kim Joonmyun’s 7th birthday, May 22, Jeju Beach.

That historical day hold too many of the memories that was just too fond for him to forget. Suddenly the imaginary bulb inside his head lighted up. He smiled and set the back on the dresser.

He sat across his mother at the dining table with mysterious smile graced upon his lips. The woman look up slightly, not failing to notice the smile her son has on his lips while he’s motioning one of the maid to pour some coffee into his cup. She raised an eyebrow before shrugging off her thoughts and continue eating. But then, a low throat-clearing sound interrupted the moment of silence. Joonmyun carefully look up and tried to look as cute as possible.

“Uhmm, mother?” He called.

The woman only hum in respond, doesn’t even bother to look up, “Hmm?”

Joonmyun gain more confidence, “Can I go to Jeju?” He asked.

Mrs. Kim twitched her eyebrow, “Jeju? What for?” She eyed her son suspiciously.

Joonmyun took a deep breath. “You said I could do whatever I want for the whole 3 months.” He pouted a bit.

The women looked hesitated. But being a person of her words, she nods, “How long?”

Joonmyun smiled in triumph, “I’ll be back before the ending of next month!” He beamed nonchalantly.

The woman gave an uninterested nod and continue eating. Joonmyun understood his mother too much. Though his mother is very prude, strict and demanding, but she do have soft side for her son’s aegyo. She just doesn’t like to show it too much. Joonmyun smiled before joining his mother to eat their breakfast.

Joonmyun felt like a winner when his feet touched Jeju’s land. He cannot believe that he’s finally here again after so many years of wishing. After his father’s death, his mother refused to step or even to hear the name of Jeju. Just like stated before, Jeju holds too much memory of them. Joonmyun was about to hail a cab to go to his hotel when he suddenly tripped on a stone and fell flat on the floor. His face flushed into deep shade of red as the school girls starts snickering at him. He quickly get back on his feet and walked away without looking back.

“Stupid damn legs!” he cussed.

Few minutes of walking, he spotted a bench. He quickly sat on it before dusting off his pants and lets out a big sigh. From his seat, he could some kids were playing hide and seek while laughing and teasing each other non-stop. He could only gave a smile.

He shot them a long stare while silently reminiscing childhood days. His childhood was nothing near fun. He lost his father at such a young age and after moving to Seoul, he live his life trapped inside his mother’s demands and instructions. Joonmyun was never allowed to him to make friends with other normal kids. She said, ‘They would only ruin your future.’. He goes to private school where everyone walked around carrying expensive stuffs and smug face while showing off their luxuries. Here and there, only frantic race of topping every exam was all he could see. It scares him a lot to have to live his school life with nothing but lessons, home works, exams and grades.

“Looks fun, don’t you think?” A cute low voice interrupted his thought.

Joonmyun turn to his side, only to be greeted by a longing gaze given by a cute little boy. He doesn’t realize how long that boy had been sitting there, but a blanket that covered that boy’s legs gives Joonmyun the idea that he’s there for the whole time. Only, Joonmyun failed to notice him because he’s just too busy minding his own thoughts. “Who didn’t you join them?” He asked the boy.

The little boy smiled. He slowly moves his gaze towards the happily playing little kids at the playground before saying, “If I could… I would…” He said.

Joonmyun frowned in confusion. Noticing the looks Joonmyun gave him, the little boy continued, “It took me two nonexistent calves to keep me from getting on my feet, you see.” He said again. His hands pulled the blanket, revealing his legs that only consists of his thighs and knees and nothing more.

Joonmyun’s eyes widened as his lips quivered. “Y-You’re…” He couldn’t even finished his word when tears started to pool in his eyes. His voice stuck in his throat.

The boy, however, only widened his smile, “Handicapped? Disabled?” He said,

Joonmyun could only stared at the boy with incredulous look plastered on his face, “Why you seems to not mind at all?” He asked.

A low bark snap his off his thoughts. A medium sized German Shepherd jumped onto the little boy’s lap and sat on it while rubbing its head on the boy’s chest.       The boy widened his smile and caressed the dog’s fur lovingly. Joonmyun who’s still speechless could only watch them. Well, you know it’s weird when someone actually adopt a German Shepherd as pet.

“This is Kyunggie. He’s my friend, my pet, my bodyguard and my best company in the world.” He said instead of answering Joonmyun’s question. But then, he look up to Joonmyun.

The boy chuckled, “What, you want me to cry and wail?” He asked back, which Joonmyun quickly replied with frantic shakes of his head. The boy then lets out a soft sigh and look up to the sky, “I don’t need legs to be happy. I am grateful enough that I am alive today.”

The little boy look gave Joonmyun an eye smile, “You have two legs for yourself. You have the time all in your hands. But yet, you choose to sit here and waste it. You can run… but you can never hide.”

His answer really took Joonmyun by surprise. He lost his words completely, not knowing what to reply. The boy is really small. Joonmyun estimated that maybe he’s about 8 or 9. In that age, kids tend to be hyperactive because it’s their nature to be like that. But this boy, he only stared at the other kids at his age playing happily while he could only look at them from afar. Joonmyun nods slightly. His eyes stared at both the boy and the puppies in pure astonishment.

To understand that life is full of hardship… Did he stop himself from whining and accept his fate knowing that?

Rubbing his eyes, trying to get rid of the remaining fatigue, Joonmyun took his time to wake up. The sun rays that sneakily crept through the tiny opening of the window landed on his cheeks, kissing him a good morning. He slipped out of his warm duvet and walked towards the window, taking his time admiring the beautiful view that Jeju offer from his window. From the 11th floor of the hotel that he’s staying, the vague image of the beach could be seen. Joonmyun smiled. He lets out a soft sigh before turning around to get ready for the day.

The beach is full of people as it is in the mid-summer. It does annoys him a bit. Joonmyun walked towards a certain spot where there’s no one there. The location is exactly the same where the picture from his 7th birthday was taken. He sat on the sandy ground, facing the beach, taking his time admiring the beauty of nature that the God had created. The noises emitted every time the breeze brushes against the soft surface of the leaves creates such a beautiful melody, syncing with the sound of the calming waves and the seagulls that flock together above his head. The beautiful scenery that lies before his eyes sure brings back the old memories… Joonmyun get on his feet before walking along the beach.

Summer sure is the most beautiful season compared to the others.

Summer means happiness. Summer means bliss. Like the happy sun letting out his lustrous streaks of light, greeting the earthling in such a glorious way. Spring haze starts to fade; the sun shone brightly above his head. Those beautiful flaxen tresses radiated a thousand of word along with the sunshine that was glowing across the meadow. The heat starts to sting a little as the day gets brighter and brighter. A faint smile graced upon the boy’s lips.

Letting the warm water touched his feet, he swayed it back and forth, savoring the warmth of the day. The sweet scent of magnolia with a hint of roses tickled his nose as the breeze passes by; caressing his ginger locks like a little child playing with his father’s hair. He stretched his arms out as if trying to embrace the wind, but then chuckled when he realizes his silliness. He really liked the day like this. Where have no worries to depressed his mind and soul about. And can be free, enjoying the summer at the beach for all he likes. Well, not totally enjoying… but feeling it is already more than enough for that boy. The voices of happy seagulls were singing him a song, making him smiled wider.

It’s a beautiful day…

No cacophonies of deafening noises. No nose-burning smokes. No sight of weird people doing weird things. Only the calmness of the day engulfed him. He walked along the beach, letting the cold water to caress his feet when he abruptly stopped as he spotted a figure sitting not far from where he was standing. A tall lanky figure with dark brunette hair and bright smile plastered on his face.

Joonmyun wasn’t sure how long he had been staring at that figure, but weirdly, he does not move at all. He was staring fondly to the sky as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Well, it might be if it wasn’t for the burning midday sun that shines so gloriously and brightly to the extent that it might even hurt one’s eyes. But weirdly, that figure doesn’t move or flinch or even blink at all. Don’t he think that he might hurt his eyes or something? Or, doesn’t his lips feel tired at all for smiling for too long? Feeling curious, Joonmyun walked closer towards the figure and stopped to hide himself behind a palm tree when the figure suddenly turn around. Joonmyun was about to silently walk away when that figure speaks,

“I know you’re there.” He said. His voice startled Joonmyun up. He doesn’t expect it to be so deep and husky.

Joonmyun smiled awkwardly, head peeking out before totally unveiled himself. He walked closer towards that figure that now continue staring at the sky. “You were staring so deep at the sky. What fascinates you so much? It’s a hot day, you know?” He said, eyes stared at the stranger.

When he was questioned, the guy’s smile falter a bit, replaced by a bitter one. He turn to face Joonmyun, sending the same deep gazes into Joonmyun’s eyes. Weirdly, even though his iris were shining, there some kind of emptiness and loneliness apparent between his gazes. Looking straight into those eyes, Joonmyun was freaked out by the fact that the guy does not blink at all. He was staring at him, but more like staring into him… Those stares looks as if it pierced through his head, burying a hole in Joonmyun.

“Such a beautiful day, isn’t it?” He said softly.

Joonmyun raised an eyebrow, does not sure where this conversation is going. “Yeah.” He answered simply.

The stranger nods, “It is such a beautiful day…” He tore his look away from Joonmyun as he lifted his head up, “But I can’t see it…”

And then it hit him. The realization struck Joonmyun like a bus. Everything suddenly made sense. A palm made its way to cover his mouth from gasping loudly.

“Y… You’re blind.” He stuttered, losing his words for the second time.

The boy smiled, “I might be blind, but my world isn’t dark, you know?” He said.

Joonmyun frowned, “What do you mean?” He asked.

“From your voice, I notice there’s some kind of hesitation when you speak.” He said, “Are you running away from something?”

Joonmyun gasped inaudibly, “W-What?”

The boy smiled, “See, you’re stuttering. You seems to be very insecure for some reason. You’re running away from something, aren’t you?” He asked again.

“Practically…” Joonmyun looks away. “Running away from the reality that I want to escape from.” He answered without looking at the boy.

“Running away won’t get you anywhere even if you can see.” The boy pointed to the sun, “Look ahead, there’s the light.”

“Even though I can’t see the sun, but I feel the burn it gives me. But for you, you can see it, but refuse to. That is one of the beauty of life that you failed to notice, because you’re running away from the light itself.” The tall lad put his hands on his lap, clasping them together.

Joonmyun shot him a confused look, “What are you trying to say?” He questioned.

“If you run away from life, it doesn’t matter how far you go, you’ll never be able to escape from it. Even if  you choose to die, you will carry that guilt even to your grave. That’s why you shouldn’t run from it.” He said before turning his head and give a blank stare towards Joonmyun, “Face it instead. At first, it will be hard. But then you’ll gain the strength and you realize that those problems you face are nothing compared to the joy of life that He had gifted to you.” He finishes.

Joonmyun took his time to register what the latter just said, “What kind of joy of life?” He bits his lips.

“You can see. You have the world all in your vision. The birds, the trees, you could see all of it.” He answered, “That’s the greatest gift the God gave you. What’s more do you want?”

Word slapped, his gaze dropped to his lap in shame. Someone blind could see the joy of life more than he could. Someone blind could enjoy life more than he could. He felt like the sky just fall right on his head while the sun and moon and all other creatures laughed at him, mocking him. For once, he regrets and feel so much ashamed of himself for complaining and at the same time, blinded himself by his desires.

Days passed, the enjoyment of his vacation slowly deceased. He can’t feel any excitement anymore. On his 12th day at Jeju, Joonmyun had completely lost his interest on walking around shopping or enjoying the nature anymore. Why? Because he’s alone. No matter how fun it is to loiter around the shopping mall, checking out some girls, reading new books and stuffs, it is still so much boring when you have no friends to share the happiness with. Even watching the sunset by the beach that he loves so much looks so dull and uninteresting anymore.

Sitting by the windowsill, his fingers flipped the yellowing page of his favorite book with no expression plastered on his face. Joonmyun lets out a heavy sigh as he throw the book on his bed and leaned his head on the warm glass of the window. He doesn’t know what to think anymore.

He doesn’t have much time left to waste. When he starts college, things will change. There will be no more time for him to fool around anymore. It will be all about assignments and grades and degrees and the future work as the CEO of Kim Company that had been waiting for him for years. He will have to stop dreaming of becoming a novelist then. Growing old doing something he never like, or even get married with someone he never love. His life was planned even when he was still a kid. He really hate his life. Words crept into his mind, telling him just how much miserable his life was. Having to grow up as the only heir of Kim’s Company, living like a bird in golden cage, living under the command of his mother.

And without realizing it, he once again, whining about life. Won’t the God just feel tired of his whines?

Joonmyun stood up from his seat, plugging his earphones before walking out of his hotel room. He doesn’t even know where he’s heading to. And heck, he doesn’t even know what song his mp3 is playing. Few minutes of walking without destination, turns out his feet brought him to a CD shop. Joonmyun blinked, asking himself how he ended up here. But then just shrug his shoulder and enter the shop. Well, might as well checking out the latest song or something while he’s already at it. He walked pass every rack of the CDs, from the newest song to the oldest ones, but none of them interest him. The shopkeeper also had been a little too nice by recommending him some songs, but he just couldn’t care less. Not wanting to be rude, he thanked the girl and put the headphones she offered back on the counter before walking out his both hands shoved into his pockets.

But then, he stopped at the doorstep. A guy, that looks like a high school boy was putting his ears on the glass wall of the shop, both eyes closed. He looks like he’s too immersed indulging the soft music played inside the CD shop without caring that people might stared at him weirdly for doing weird stuffs. The shopkeeper that had been sitting at the counter stood up and walked towards Joonmyun. She gave a light pat on his shoulder, making him flinch.

“That boy…” She pointed towards the boy, “Don’t mind him. He had been living inside the quietness of the world for his whole life.” She said then left as she saw a customer was waiting by the counter to pay.

Joonmyun can’t quite get what she meant by that. So he walked towards the boy and cleared his throat. But surprisingly, the boy doesn’t even flinch. He kept his eyes closed and ears glued to the glass, not noticing the twitch on Joonmyun’s eyebrow. Joonmyun cleared his throat again, and again, that boy seems to not realize anything around him at all. Irritated, Joonmyun reached out his right hand and put it on the boy’s shoulder, making him jolted in shock. The boy stared at him with wide eyes.

Joonmyun smiled, “You really like that song, don’t you?” He asked.

The boy stared at him fondly while he’s speaking, before he smiled, showing off his dimple on his left cheeks, “I don’t know. But I think it’s nice.” He said.

Joonmyun frowned, “Think? But, you’ve been listening to it like it was the most interesting thing on earth to listen to.” He stated.

Once again, he stared at Joonmyun, more like examining his face, or his lips’ movement. Took him long enough to finally give his reply, “I’m sorry, can you repeat your question again?”

This boy is such a weirdo, Joonmyun thought. Joonmyun shook his head, “Never mind.” Too lazy to repeat.

The boy nods and smile again. He looks so cute and innocent. “Everyone is irritated of me, it’s okay, I understand.” He said.

“Huh?” Joonmyun flinched.

The boy lets out a soft sigh before pressing his palms against the glass. His eyes looks sad and empty, though he kept on smiling, “It’s so empty, you know? I could listen to them all day long, but I could hear none of it.”

It’s the other way round now. It is Joonmyun’s turn to flinch and widened his eyes at that boy’s words. Now he understand why the boy doesn’t even flinch or move when he tried to get his attention earlier. It makes Joonmyun unplugged his earphones at once and stared at the boy with mouth of open agape. “You’re deaf?”

Joonmyun now understand why that boy keeps on focusing on his lips when he spoke instead of looking into his eyes. The boy took his time to comprehend the movement of Joonmyun’s lips before he slightly nods, “My world is too quiet. But it okay for He gave me this chance to be alive and breathing.” He said.

Joonmyun’s lips trembled, so is his hands. For the third time, he once again lost for words. Joonmyun can listen to music, as much as hearing them, but can’t enjoy them. But this boy, he could only listen without being able to hear anything, but it is already enough for him to enjoy it. Joonmyun turn his mp3 on, putting the earphones into the boy’s ears, ignoring the looks the boy gave him. He then smiled and said,

“Tell me… what did you hear?” He asked.

The boy smiled, “I can’t hear anything, but something told me that you’re a good person.”

Joonmyun frowned, “What makes you think like that? We just meet for about 5 minutes, you know?”

The boy lets out a soft chuckle. He then took off the earphones and handed it to Joonmyun before saying, “When someone speak to me, I can’t hear them. So all I do is stared at them and the movement of their lips. For all my life, I’ve meet thousands of people and observe the way they speak and their expressions. By now, by just looking at their faces, I already know if someone is a good person or not.” He explained.

“You can pretend you can’t hear anything, but what has been spoken could never be taken back.” He said, shooting a deep look into Joonmyun’s dark brown eyes. “Life is not about possessing, but it about appreciating.”

Joonmyun’s heart sank, head dropped in pure shame.

Joonmyun had always dreamt of living in the peaceful world that nobody could bother him… or tell him what to do with his life. No cacophonies of deafening noises. Only the calmness engulfed him. But now that he think of it again… he doesn’t want all those things anymore. He look up to the sky and silently thank the God that he could listen… and hear…

Lying on the grassy field, Joonmyun could only watch how the stars twinkle on the sky, shining its little light, decorating the vast pitch black dark canvas with its best efforts. Hands folded pillowing his head and legs crossed, his mind was wandering far on the outer space. Tomorrow is the last day of his second month of freedom. He still couldn’t find the heart to go back to that big mansion and live as what his mother wanted  him to. He tried reading some books about business management and such, but he just couldn’t find any interest within those words. There’s nothing interesting but numbers and stuffs.

He does have a dull life.

He just couldn’t find any joy in his life though he wanted to. He just couldn’t find anything that could actually fascinates him. Everything in this world bores him. He wanted to be like a disabled boy who felt enough by just watching from afar, or a blind boy who could savor the true meaning of beauty in life, or a deaf boy whose life very empty but full of appreciation. But he just couldn’t. The fact is he’s a rich kid who had his future lies ahead all in plan. He had eyes that could see, but was blindfolded. He’s more blind than a blind person because he’s caged. He had legs that could walk, but were tied. He’s more disabled than a handicap person because he can’t enjoy. He had ears that could hear, but was covered. He’s more deaf than a deaf person because he live his life listening to demands and instructions all the time. He have everyt