* im sorry it took so long to update :( i need to have a special mood to write this angsty story... I hope you like my update and i see more comments from you too :)
BAP is comming back yay!! i already pre-ordered their cd and they had their 2 years anniversary! i love them so much. A proud Baby here ^^                     

´im sorry that I have to tell you this bad news… but…´ doctor Kang took a deep breath before looking up from the ground at Jongups parents ´your son, Jongup, his organs are failing one after another´

The mother gasped and covered with one hand, She had horror in her eyes and so did the father. This was somehow too soon like they predicted.

It was true that the boys condition worsened in the few couple of days but each time they saw Jongup, he had his usual bright smile.

Since he met Himchan, he never showed his troubles or pain to his family. It was like he didn’t want them to worry about him and make them sad. The last memories they have with their son should be wonderful and full of optimism. That’s what Jongup thought.

Himchan changed too. His usual princess like behavior changed when he fell in love with the younger boy. Before, Himchan would only care for himself and was mean to others, even his own parents and family. He felt like everyone waited him to die already.

Since he was child, he spend his youth in hospital where he had visits not that often. Usually it was his father that came most of the time but because of work it was getting harder.

Himchan was not from a wealthy family so his mother took special hours at work to be able to pay for her sons hospital bills, while the father earned money for they living.

Life is not that easy.

When Jongup entered Himchans life, he finally understood some really important thing. One of them was how to care and love someone with true feelings.

Even the tension between him and his parents changed to better.

Now the older of the boys was standing behind the corner in the hospital hall and evesdropped the whole conversation.

´I-is there nothing we can do doctor Kang???´ Jongups mother started crying her hearth out upon hearing that her only son is slowly but for sure dying.

´Im afraid not… even if we would operate him, there is just a 10% positive that he will accept the new organs or that he will survive it…im sorry´

What hated doctor Kang the most was to tell the familys bad news about their childrens or family members. He was working many years in this department and although he didn’t want to get attached to the patients it was hard…

Jongup was one of the children that grew to his heart and Himchan too.

´We are really thankfull to you doctor Kang that you are taking good care of Jongup. We trust you until the end´ Jongups father smiled weakly with teary eyes at him and wrapped his arms around his trembling wife ´we will come again tomorrow to see our boy´

Himchan felt  his world shatter into million peaces.  His Jongup is dying…not that he didnt know it, but it was too soon.

Tears escaped and rolled down his pink cheeks and he felt his body getting heavier.  He slid the wall with his back until he was sitting on the ground with knees to his chest and face buried in them.

Only soft sobs echoed in the hospital hall. Doctor Kang stayed in his position like he was in before Jongups parents left.

´I know you are there Himchan…´ he spoke gently and smiled ´but you will catch a cold if you stay any longer on the cold floor´.

Himchan had enough, he screamed at the doctor with sorrow and hate at the same time ´Leave me alone!!! Im breaking my promise!!! And its all your fault!!´

Doctor Kang furrowed his eyebrows at those words but didn’t move from his spot ´What do you mean Himchan?´

The boy started to cry louder this time and when a nurse came out to check at whats happening, Kang gestured her to leave him and Himchan alone. She nodded with a worried expression and left.

´I-I promised…Jongup´ Himchan bit his lips and breathed heavy from his crying ´t-that I will wait for him…´

This time the doctor turned around and got closer to the boy ´What do you mea---´ he was interrupted with a whisper.

´I p-promised that I will d-die first and wait for Jongup….´

……

Jongup was in his bed under what seemed like tons of blankets and was sweating. Himchan came into their room and sat next to the boy. He caressed gently with his fingers Jongups sweaty hair and smiled.

´How are you feeling, pup?´ he almost whispered and then kissed the top of the youngers head.

´C-cold…im too c-cold hyung´ Jongups body was shiwering.

´I know… you have a high fever, but it will be alright soon, it will go down don’t worry Jonguppie…´ Himchan then leaned down closer to his lovers face ´be a good boy and it will go away´

Jongup nodded and then their lips touched into a sweet kiss. It didn’t last long but this cute small kisses had a deep meaning for them.

They calmed them down, gave them energy and made the cruel world more beautiful that it actually was.

´I heard you scream hyung….´ Jongup was breathing through his mouth with half lidded eyes ´in the hallway…what happened? Your eyes are red too, did you cry?´

Himchan was somehow caught off guard. Was there any meaning in hiding things from the younger?

Should he tell his boyfriend that he is dying now for real?

´Its nothing …guess I overreacted, no need to worry pup´ Himchan sighed and felt tears form in his eyes again.

I cant show my weakness!!I have to be strong! He told inside his head and didn’t notice Jongups sad smile.

´You know hyung that I recognize it when you lie…´ the boy was breathing heavy ´I-i feel terrible …it hurts…´

Weak sobs echoed in the room as Jongups tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks ´I hate being like this! So weak, what can I do in this state?!´ he raised his voice at the older and felt frustration and sadness inside his heart.

´I thought you are already used to it´ Himchan chuckled and wrapped his arms around the boy. He didn’t want to provoke Jongup with this ironic commentary, but he knew very well that now the boy will release all his anger out that was building inside of him.

´Im not used!! Hyung I want to dance! I want to leave from here together with you and live a normal life!!´ Jongup tossed the blankets off him to the ground and was crying loudly ´I cant take this anymore!! I hate it here!!´

What shocked Himchan this time was that the younger freed himself from all those machines that helped him to stay alive and even the injections that were in his arms and fingers.

´Jongup stop it !!´ the older grabbed the boys wrists trying to calm him down ´you are hurting yourself!!!´

Of course Jongup protested and was fighting back ´No!! Im leaving! You wont stop me hyung!!!´

Himchan was beyond pissed now. This moment reminded him on his own memories when he entered this hospital as a child.

His parents, nurses and doctors had to deal with his anger outbursts every day until he realized what is actually happening.

Jongup right now had a reason too. He was tired for sure and he missed his old healthy life. It was normal for someone who wasn’t that long trapped between four walls in a hospital.

´Let me gooo hyung!!´ Jongup tried to free himself but Himchan didn’t let him. Instead, the older put all his weight onto the younger and then they both lost balance.

They fell back on the bed with Himchan on top of Jongup ´You are hurting me too Guppie!! Stop it! Please….´

Himchan supported his body on his arms that were on the sides of Jongups head ´everything is alright so you don’t need to make scenes like this´ he looked straight into those puppy eyes underneath him.

Jongups tensed body relaxed slowly and he stopped fighting back.

´Remember that im the one in charge of being a drama queen´ Himchan kissed gently the boys cheek ´its my role´

´i-im sorry Hyung…´ Jongup bit his lips and avoided eye contact still sobbing weakly.

´Whats the circus here!!! This is a hospital not a amusement par-----!!!! Jongup! Himchan!!´ Doctor Kang ran to them when he noticed that all the machines around Jongups bed are not connected to the patient.

He grabbed Himchan up from the younger and off bed ´What happened Himchan! Why didn’t you call me here!´ Kangs eyes then landed on the injections on the ground and widened from horror ´JONGUP!!! What have you done!!!´

The mentioned one quickly grabbed a blanket and hide himself underneath it with a painful expression.

´Don’t you dare look at me with those puppy eyes of yours Jongup!!!´ the doctor quickly attached the machines and new injections onto jongups body ´god protects you when you do this again!!´ 

gif source http://daesbulge.tumblr.com/