Hana blew her fringe up and rolled her eyes. She looked at herself for the nth time in front of the tall mirror standing a meter away from her, hunching forward to examine her face closely before frowning.

 

 

"Stop staring at the mirror! You look perfect!" Soyu scolded while pulling Hana's arm, directing her out of the room.

"I look weird," Hana pouted.

"No, you don't. Stop saying that-"

"But these fake eyelashes are really heavy can't I just-"

"Hana." Soyu addressed firmly as she stood in front of her best friend, making a strong eye contact with her. "Seize the day. You're legally 18 already today, which means you're legally allowed to enter the bar for today's halloween party, so seize the day okay?"

 

Hana nodded unsurely, but grunted once Soyu turned her body around. "Do I really have to do this?-"

 

"Yes. And don't complain. You're going to thank me after the party,"

 

The both of them went down and entered Soyu's car. Hana was obviously super uncomfortable with the tight, black hot pants, and the blood red body-fit crop shirt that exposed her flat abdomen. She was more comfortable walking with her cozy autumn coat, enjoying the beautiful subtle changes in the color of leaves.

 

No, She wasn't a party animal, and whenever Soyu urged her to accompany her to go to a bar for a bash, Hana would always refuse, telling her bestfriend that she didn't want to commit an illegal act. But, since she just turned ripe 18 that day, Hana would have to think of a better reason later on.

 

A couple minutes later, they had arrived at the dandy tavern."Daph and Dash," Hana muttered as her eyes scanned through the glowing words placed above the bar.

Soyu dragged her in. The pounding music and the smell of alcohol immediately made Hana felt terribly uneasy. The changes and flashes of lights with different colors made her head spun. People in all sorts of costumes and weird make ups roamed around the place. It was Halloween afterall. Hana kept her head low. Some guys pinning their eyes on her bump as she walked in, following Soyu.

 

"Sit here," Soyu ordered as she tapped the empty bar stool beside her, as if she was giving orders to her pet.

 

Hana reluctantly sat there, still keeping her head low, covered behind her long, wavy, hazel hair.

 

 

"Ah! Soyu-ssi! Seems like you've brought a pretty friend right here," One of the bartenders came, with his hand holding two alcohol mugs and mixing it diligently, as he greeted Soyu.

Soyu giggled. "Oh, that's right! This friend turned 18 today! Hana, why are you staring at the ground huh? Handsome guys are up there not below!" She nudged Hana's elbow and laughed at her dry joke with the bartender.

Hana lifted her face and bowed slightly. She took a glance at his name tag. 'Nam Woohyun' it said. He was good looking, with his pointy nose and fleshy lips. The first two buttons of his white shirt were opened and he had rolled his sleeves up.

 

"Oh! A halloween birthday dear? That's interesting! Happy birthday baby!" Woohyun offered his hand, and Hana shook it gently.

 

She was getting all kinds of shivers due to the overly-intimate names that Woohyun called her. No one had called her that before, and she didn't expect- and didn't want- Woohyun to be the first one to do so.

 

"So what are you guys drinking? The usual Soyu?" Woohyun asked with a gentle smile.

"Yeah sure. But make it two. I need her to try it too,"

"On it!"

 

Woohyun turned his back around and started doing his job. It was his second nature. Soyu raised up Hana's chin with her long fingers.

 

"I'm going to go there to dance, are you coming?" She asked although she knew what Hana was going to answer.

"I'll just stay here and wait for the drinks,"

 

Soyu shook her head. "Come join me when you're ready okay?" She said before leaving her best friend alone.

 

The thud above the bar table startled Hana a bit. She looked up.

 

"Two White Russian with extra lime," Woohyun showed his white pearly teeth. "Why don't you try it sweety?" he pushed one of the glass towards Hana.

"I think I'll drink it later,"

"A newbie here eh? Just drink it. You won't get drunk, relax," Woohyun insisted with a smirk.

Hana shook her head, getting more and more uncomfortable. How she wished that the Earth could just absorb her right at that moment. "I told you I'll drink it later, relax."

 

"Yah! Flower boy! Get here and serve her!"

 

The shout from the other end of the bar saved Hana. Woohyun left her, revealing another bartender's back facing Hana. His clothes were styled up the same way as Woohyun, only he was wearing a black vest on top of his shirt. He turned around, carrying a glass, and she could see his face clearly under the dim orange light. He looked slightly older than Woohyun. He had thin eyes which were enhanced by the thick, neat guyliner, and below that was his sharp nose and thin lips. He had waxed up chestnut hair, revealing his clean forehead, to complete his look.

 

"One vodka," he said as he placed a glass on top of the table, beside Hana, in front of a middle aged business man, who gulped it in one shot.

 

"Give me another one," The man ordered.

 

Unlike Woohyun's lively eyes, this bartender's eyes were vacant. It was... too dark and empty. He was there, but at the same time, he wasn't. Hana knew his mind was drifting off somewhere else. She took a look at his name tag pinned on the right side of his vest. 'Kim Sunggyu' was carved in gold.

 

"Would you like to order?"

 

"Uh.. N-no, no." Hana stammered when she was caught staring at him.

 

Sunggyu nodded once and turned around, working on another order behind the table. Somehow, Hana was curious about him. She was disturbed by his stare. Why was it so empty?

 

"Hmm.. Everyone stares at him. The most classy bartender Daph and Dash can offer,"

"Kim Sunggyu?" Hana's eyes were still pinned on the handsome bartender who shaking the mixture of alcohol on a shaker.

"Uh-huh."

 

Hana tilted her head when she just realized something weird. She looked at her right side.

 

"W-who are you?" She almost squealed. She was staring at Sunggyu way more intense than she wanted to, that she didn't realize a stranger was talking to her.

 

"Nice to meet you. Lee Sungyeol." He showed his gummy smile.

 

Hana nodded and forced a smile. "Nice to meet you too,"

 

"Aren't you going to tell me your name?" He raised one of his eyebrows.

 

Hana went back looking at Sunggyu, who served another glass to the business man.

 

"uh.. no. I don't tell my name to strangers." She trailed.

"Oh! Come one! We're friends already!" Sungyeol whined.

"Are you drunk?" Hana snapped and Sungyeol was taken aback.

"No he's not. Get your damn here Sungyeol!" Sunggyu suddenly shot between their conversation.

 

Hana, completely shocked, looked at Sunggyu who was now glaring at Sungyeol.

 

"See you later pretty-"

"I said get your damn here," Sunggyu ordered and Sungyeol left.

 

For once, Hana saw a spark of emotion in Sunggyu's eyes when he was scolding Sungyeol, although it wasn't obvious. But that emotion too, faded away once Sungyeol had followed his order.

It was until that moment that Hana realized Sungyeol was wearing the same white shirt that each of the bartenders were wearing. White shirt with folded sleeves.

 

"Sorry. He just gets distracted so easily," Sunggyu said in a monotone.

Hana nodded with a warm smile. "That's fine,"

Sunggyu nodded too and left.

 

She sighed and took a glance at the dance floor. Didn't seem fun to her. Not at all. 'How is it even a dance floor? No one is dancing,' she thought to herself. Her glance trailed off to the white russian that Soyu had ordered. Maybe a gulp won't hurt, although she knew she couldn't deal much of alcohol. She looked left and right, as though expecting a prey pouncing her off. Clear. With uncertainty, she extended her right arm and took one of glasses of the drink in front of her. She sipped it, and immediately thud the glass above the table.

 

It tasted.... like acid. Why would Soyu want to pay this much for an acid drink when she could just get it from lemon?

 

“Do you need water?”

“Yes. Yes. A lot.” Hana answered clumsily, while squirming her eyes and her lips over and over again, without looking whom she was talking to.

“There you go,”

 

A glass of water was placed above the bar table and she took it in once shot, but the sour was still lingering on her tongue.

 

“One more,” she demanded while squeezing her eyes.

 

Another glass was placed before her. She drank it again.

 

“Aah... it felt better,” she nodded with a smile before looking up.

 

She tried not to gasp, but failed, when she saw that it was Sunggyu who had been serving her water. She smiled sheepishly.

 

“I-I'm sorry... I'm not really good at taking...”

“I can see that. That's fine,” The curve on Sunggyu's thin lips was mesmerizing. His eyes though, were still blank.

 

Hana shook her head. “What was I thinking?” she muttered to herself and decided to get out of the bar to enjoy some fresh autumn air.

 

---

 

“Myungsoo, you take charge of my place. I'm going out first,”

 

Myungsoo stood up and nodded in obedience as he watched his co-worker going out through the back door after scooping in a pack of cigarettes inside his pocket.

 

Sunggyu closed the door behind him and took one cig before lighting it up. He squeezed it in the middle of his lips and inhaled. He then took the stick away from his mouth by slipping it between his middle finger and his pointer while blowing the smoke out. He sighed and rested his back on the brick wall.

 

Autumn.

 

How he hated autumn. The day when leaves fall down, as though saying 'Game over loser'. Those leaves wouldn't be able to climb back up to the branches again, where the other leaves had turned orange too, just waiting for their time to fall.

 

Sunggyu shook his head as white smoke came out of his mouth. Such a waste. In spring, they bloom the flowers, in summer the flowers beautify the season, but in autumn... The season destroys it. All of the hard work from the floras are destroyed by autumn. At least that was how Sunggyu saw Fall.

 

He had been these leaves before. He had tried to build a relationship so hard, but was destroyed in the end, like it was nothing worth it. Nothing worth to remember. Sunggyu did tried to continue and move on with his life. He had dated several times after his major break up, but it didn't mean anything. No one was able to tolerate him like how she did.

 

 

“I see you smoke,”

 

 

Sunggyu turned his head to the right when he heard a light female voice. He peered his eyes, trying to identify the dark figure that was on the other edge of the dim alley. She walked forward and under the orange street light, he recognized her as the girl from the bar who had asked him for water instead of alcohol.

 

He turned his head forward again, staring at the empty red brick wall as he exhaled the smoke. She brushed her hands on the air to shoo the smoke away while coughing.

 

“You should be inside,” Sunggyu told her, not making any eye contact.

 

She kept a distance of almost four metres away between them. “Yeah, I should be.” She muttered.

 

No one reacted and the silence was deafening for about a minute.

 

“Kim Sunggyu-ssi,” She called him quietly with a playful smirk.

 

The male looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

 

“What's wrong?” She asked him, as though she had known him for years.

 

Sunggyu scoffed and let out a dry chuckle. “What's wrong you asked? Do you even know me?”

 

“I do,” she paused and Sunggyu looked at her with questioning eyes, “Ah! Finally, your eyes are filled with something,” she smiled.

 

“Stop the nonsense and get back into the bar. Your friend must be waiting,” He ordered her coldly.

 

“My friend? Oh... I see you've been checking out on me,” she smirked.

 

Sunggyu shook his head and slipped his cig into his mouth, not wanting to deal with a lunatic that couldn't even handle a white Russian.

 

“I'm Yang Hana,” she introduced herself and extended her hand, but Sunggyu kept his hands inside the pocket of his pants and threw his gaze away.

 

“So you want to tell me your name but you don't want to tell it to Sungyeol?”

 

“I think you deserve to know my name,”

 

She averted her eyes to his hands after dropping down her right arm, that had been rejected by the male in front of her.

 

“Your hand... must have traced down a pretty woman's slender body...” she trailed off and once again, Sunggyu couldn't deny her intrigue.

 

“Your eyes must have been full of emotions,” Hana nodded to herself with a subtle smile.

 

Sunggyu stared at her, wanting Hana to say more about him. How could those words jump out of with full confidence?

 

“Your heart inside your chest...” she cringed her eyes and tilted her head, as though trying to find the right words, but she couldn't. She shook her head and frowned. “What happened to it?” she asked.

 

Sunggyu was flabbergasted by her ability. He had his mouth ajar. What was she? A witch?

 

Hana chuckled. “Relax, I'm not a freak or something. I'm majoring in psychology, and I should say you are a something,” it was hard for Sunggyu to believe that she couldn't read his mind.

 

Sunggyu breathed with relief and scoffed again. “A psychologist who obviously can't handle White Russians,” He threw the cig he had been holding to the ground and stepped it with his classy black shoes.

 

“You're a good guy. You wouldn't smoke for no reason-”

 

“Don't start,” Sunggyu gave her a glare.

 

“Kim Sunggyu-ssi... what the hell happened to you?” she smiled pitily.

 

He scoffed again.“What do I look like?”

 

“A wreck. A huge wreck,” she stepped forward and pressed her pointer against his chest, right on top of his heart, “It hurts?”

 

Sunggyu nodded as though he had been hypnotized. He wasn't someone who would welcome a stranger interfering with his personal matters but Hana... From the first time he laid his eyes on her at the bar, he felt different. She was extremely shy when she was placed in the middle of a loud crowd but she would take control over a situation when it was just a one on one. And it reminded him of... her.

 

Hana bit her lips and looked up to meet his eyes. “It's so empty Sunggyu-ssi...”

 

“I know...”

 

She took a step backwards and slipped her hair behind her ears. “Mind telling me what happened?”

 

Sunggyu furrowed his eyebrows. How long had he been keeping everything to himself? How long had his heart bore it? Just how long would it take for him to be open again?

 

“No,”

 

Hana didn't look surprised with his answer. Instead, she bent down and took off her devil heels. Sunggyu watched her, curiosity overcoming him.

 

She let out a gentle smile, “Come on, we'll talk on the bench right there,” she said, lifting her heels up, and led the way to the white wooden bench at the end of the alley bare footed.

 

Sunggyu was sure he told her clearly that he didn't want to tell her what happened, but of course, Hana didn't pay attention to his answer. She paid attention to the voice of his heart. And as much as Sunggyu hated it, he knew his heart was yearning to puke all of his emotions out. It had been too long.

 

Oddly, the both of them sat on the bench, side by side. Hana on the left, Sunggyu on the right.

 

“Ah... I'm going to kill Soyu for this,” she mumbled, but loud enough for Sunggyu to hear, as she rubbed her sore foot. Sunggyu couldn't help but smiled a bit. She didn't see it though.

 

Hana stretched out her feet and sat comfortably. “Feels better,” she smiled. “Suit yourself,” she told Sunggyu as though he was visiting her house.

 

The male stared at her. “If you're smart, I guess you know that I should be working right now,”

 

“If you're smart, you won't go out and smoke,”

 

That kept Sunggyu quiet.

 

“Take off that vest,” she demanded. She knew what she was doing.

 

Sunggyu shook his head, a slight fear on his pupils.

 

“It's a nice vest,” Hana attempted, throwing the bait.

 

“She liked it...” Sunggyu mumbled softly.

 

“And she liked that thick guyliner too did she?”

 

Sunggyu nodded and he looked at Hana with eyes full of pain.

 

“You know Sunggyu-ssi, if you want to cry, you can let those tears come out right now. There's only you and me here,”

 

Sunggyu shook his head. “They all hate me for crying,” he said as though he was sure Hana understood what he was saying. It was the first time he had let his guard down on a woman.

 

“Well, I won't judge,” She shrugged her shoulders.

 

Sunggyu shook his head again and stood up. He left Hana and walked straight to the bar without sparing his time to say anything more to her.

 

---

 

 

“Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up..”

 

“Yah! What's with you and your phone today?” Soyu asked her best friend who had been busy with her cell phone for the entire day. Hana said that it was just an old friend whom she missed, but Soyu didn't buy it.

 

Hana shushed her and continued to focus on the dialing tone, praying that he would pick it up soon.

 

“The number you are calling cannot be reache-”

 

“Dammit!” She grunted and threw her phone.

 

Soyu looked at her. “Relax dude, geez...”

 

Hana stormed out of their apartment after wearing her coat, leaving Soyu frowning, and immediately hailed a cab.

 

“Daph and Dash,” she ordered.

 

---

 

“One martini,” Sunggyu placed a glass on top of the counter, in front of a woman, who had been bashing her eyelashes at him but he paid no interest to it.

 

“Hey, hyung, one glass of fresh water for the girl at the end of the bar,” Sungyeol told him.

 

Sunggyu shook his head as he pressed the dispenser for cold water. Why come to a bar when you only want a glass of water? Speaking of water... it made him remember that girl. That girl who was able to dug him two days ago. What was her name again?

Ha...? Hyorin? Hyuna? Whatever.

 

He placed the glass of water in front of the girl sitting alone at the end of the bar table without looking at her, but as he was about to walk back to serve another customer, she grabbed his wrist. Sunggyu glared at her and that was when he realized it was the girl who had done a “free counseling" on him. She looked better without those thick lashes and powder. Sunggyu scanned her simple blue shirt with jeans, and the warm brown coat wrapping her body.

 

“I don't have time right now,”

 

Hana shrugged her shoulders.

 

“I'll wait,”

 

Somehow, Sunggyu was glad to hear her answer, although he scoffed and continued his work. He wanted her to wait. 'I won't judge,' he remembered her say last night. Everyone judges. Why didn't she?

 

Every single time he had started getting close and almost intimate with a woman, he would trust her to the point where he would be able to tell her about... his past. His mournful past. About... her. The next scene would be him waking up in the morning with a note beside his lamp bed saying: “Sorry.” and all of their stuffs would be gone. And once again, he was hurt.

 

 

“Hey, you're the Halloween birthday girl!” Sunggyu heard Woohyun wooing with her. He tried to ignore the greasy personality his co-worker had but it was up to the point where he saw Hana getting extremely uneasy.

 

“Woohyun get back to work!” He didn't want her to leave did he?

 

---

 

“You were too busy for your phone were you?” Hana interrogated him.

 

Sunggyu took out his phone from the pocket of his vest and checked it. He raised his left eye brow.

 

“13 missed calls?” he asked her.

 

“I thought you needed help-”

 

“I don't,”

 

Hana pursed her lips. This was going to be hard, but it didn't mean it was impossible.

 

“You should get back home, it's late,” Sunggyu said, trying to avoid the mind reading session with her. As much as he wanted Hana to help him feel better, it was quite creepy.

 

Hana shook her head.

 

“I will go home when after I hear your story,”

 

“Right now isn't the perfect time for mourning my story,”

 

“Because she left you during autumn?” Once again, she did it. The words that escaped from were just a normal conversation that anyone could say, but Hana knew how to pick up lines that would hit the target – Sunggyu's heart. She won't waste time on asking irrelevant questions. Time was short.

 

Sunggyu couldn't help but drop his jaws and nod. It was the truth. It was autumn when she left him. It was autumn when it was a 'Game Over loser' for him.

 

Hana nodded and smiled contently. “That's enough for today,” she stood up, followed by Sunggyu.

 

She walked up to the door, about to leave when she swirled her body back.

 

“Sunggyu-ssi,” she adressed him. Sunggyu gave her a blank look. “Smile more okay?” And then she left.

 

Sunggyu only to find himself nodding unconsiously.

 

---

 

Days went by, weeks went by. Hana would appear in front of Sunggyu whenever she wanted, but of course, she had had it all planned out. She knew when was the right time to come to see him. Some meetings were long, and some meetings were short, just a conversation consisting of not more than five lines. Sometimes she would call and he wouldn't pick up. But at times, he would pick up. Their conversation over the phone would just be Hana asking if she could come over to the bar to see him and Sunggyu would just answer with a yes or no.

 

Sunggyu never asked how she was able to get his number. He was only glad she did. Maybe he did want to be helped by her. Hana, on the other hand, paid a deep interest on Sunggyu's character. She wanted to see how he looked like when he was happy, when he actually had a genuine smile curving on his lips. She knew it was possible, and it was such a shame that she wasn't able to see it then.

 

It was reaching the mid of November, and it was more to winter rather than autumn. At that time, Hana had discovered a few things about Sunggyu. He was deeply hurt. He couldn't have gone through a break up because Sunggyu told her that the both of them loved each other till the end. It was either her parents disapproved or that she was actually gone. Hana didn't ask, it didn't matter anymore. Despite working in a bar, Sunggyu didn't want to drink. It wasn't that he couldn't drink, but it was that he didn't want to and Hana suspected that the reason was because of her.

 

“Oh! Hana! Looking for Sunggyu hyung?” Woohyun greeted her that cold November.

 

Hana nodded, her eyes scanning the bar, but it showed no signs of the man she was looking for.

 

“I'm sorry, but that guy only works during August to the end of October. I don't know why, he's really weird at times,” Woohyun put on a sad face.

 

Hana frowned. August until the end of October...

 

It's Autumn!

 

“Don't you want a drink?” Woohyun offered her.

 

Hana smiled and shook her head. “I guess I'll come by next year. Thanks Woohyun,” she left the bar and went back home, not attempting to call or text Sunggyu. She knew it was the right thing to do. Give him time.

 

And one year was sufficient.

 

 

---

A year passed by just like that. Hana had graduated and had actually opened a clinic for children with mental disabilities together with Soyu.

 

In the mid of August, the leaves started turning yellow, indicating the arrival of Fall. Hana never forgot about Sunggyu, and the same went with Sunggyu too. He was wondering if Hana still wanted to help him. He did feel a little better though after spilling no more than twenty sentences about his past to Hana, but still, there were more stories in his heart.

 

Sunggyu arrived at the bar, welcomed by Woohyun. 'Smile more.' he remembered her words. 'A try won't hurt.' He thought. So that day, he acknowledged Woohyun's warm greeting with an awkward smile and Woohyun was incredibly happy. Sunggyu touched the edges of his lips. It felt weird to smile.

 

“Wow, what had gotten to you in a year hyung?”

 

“Nohing much,” Sunggyu said. That was the truth.

 

Sunggyu served several customers as usual, but he was looking for Hana. She didn't forget about him did she?

 

A bit later, when the bar was almost closed, she appeared in front of him, not forgetting to order a glass of cold water. Sunggyu couldn't help but feel relieved. She either looked thinner and paler or it was him who forgot how she looked like a year ago.

 

“Hello Sunggyu-ssi, how have you been doing?” Hana greeted him with a beaming smile. She was aware that he wanted to see her too.

“As usual.” He replied.

“As usual as in always looking at her photograph before going to sleep?” It was more of a statement than a question actually.

 

Sunggyu avoided her gaze. Hana was right, but he didn't want to say it explicitly. She sighed with a smile.

 

“Are you doing what I told you last year?”

“Working on it,” Sunggyu mumbled but loud enough for Hana to hear.

“Oh! That's great then. Do you want to practice with me Sunggyu-ssi?”

 

Sunggyu frowned. “No,”

 

She extended her arms above the table and faced her palms up. “Your hands Sunggyu-ssi,”

 

The male looked at her as though she had three heads. Slowly though, he lifted his palms up and placed it above hers.

 

The warm radiating from her palms made his lips ajar, slightly shaking. The warmness that he missed... He was finally able to feel it again.

 

Hana tightened her grip and observed Sunggyu carefully. He gazed away and bit his lips before jerking his palms back.

 

“Look at me Sunggyu-ssi,” Hana said warmly.

 

“N-no,” he tried to hide the stammer but it seemed like it didn't work.

 

“Sunggyu-ssi, what's wrong?”

 

He scoffed and finally met her eyes. “You tell me what's wrong. Aren't you the one who always read minds? The one always trying to make things better?” He asked her back with a mocking tone, before standing up and leaving her.

 

He grunted back in the bar. He just screwed up his first meeting with Hana that Autumn.

 

---

 

Hana came back to the bar after two days with an opaque black plastic bag on her hand. She scanned the crowded bar for Sunggyu. He wasn't there. She wondered if he had purposely hid himself from her.

 

“Woohyun-ssi, where-”

 

“I don't want to talk to you today,” Sunggyu surprised her, suddenly appearing beside Woohyun from no where, with a cold gaze.

 

“Hyung, yesterday you're smiling, and today you're like this,” Woohyun muttered and Sunggyu glared at him, making him escape from the scary situation.

 

Hana smiled on hearing Woohyun's words. “Sunggyu-ssi... I'm sorry for yesterday,”

 

Sunggyu shook his head and turned his back.

 

“Look Sunggyu-ssi, I bought you bulgogi, isn't that your favorite?”

 

Sunggyu froze. He turned his head, in the midst of the crowded bar area, with his co-workers running here and there, serving people.

 

“B-bulgogi...?”

 

Hana raised the black plastic bag and grinned. “Yes, I also cooked it with egg,” she said, as though she didn't know it brought Sunggyu back to his past. The fact was, Hana knew everything. She had promised herself to work things out with Sunggyu and not let her mistake yesterday prevent her from talking to him.

 

The bulgogi succeed in sitting Sunggyu down, with Hana in front of him, at the corner of the bar. He ate soundlessly.

 

“Sunggyu-ssi, look at my hair, I just got it cut, isn't it good?” Hana said, pulling her hat off. She had cut it short, way above her shoulders, just right below her ears.

 

Sunggyu took a glance at it and nodded, before continuing to eat. He then chuckled suddenly.

 

“I think you're doing a mistake,” he said.

 

“What mistake are you talking about?”

 

“She didn't have a short hair and instead, she wouldn't want to get a short hair,” Sunggyu said, gulping his bulgogi.

 

“Oh... but this wasn't for you actually... I just wanted to get a fresh haircut...”

 

Sunggyu felt his face getting red, and he kept looking down at the plate. “Oh.. I see,” he mumbled.

 

“Is the bulgogi good?”

“Bulgogi is... always good...”

“I wonder how her bulgogi tasted like,” Hana commented as though it wasn't a sensitive topic.

“It was... delicious,”

“It should be,” Hana joined Sunggyu nodding.

 

Silence.

 

She sighed and looked at Sunggyu, who was staring at her as well. “Sunggyu-ssi, I'm leaving,” she informed as she stood up.

 

“Oh.. okay,” He stood up as well. His heart though, wanted her to stay longer.

 

“Do me a favor okay?”

 

“What again?”

 

“Make some friends,” Hana said with a smile and left.

 

Again, this time round too, Sunggyu nodded his head unconsciously as he stared at her figure disappearing in the midst of the crowd.

 

 

 

---

 

Just like that, days, weeks, months passed. Sunggyu was obviously more open to Hana, and without realizing it, it was the beginning of November and Hana knew Sunggyu was taking a break, so she didn't come to the bar.

 

She, instead, bussied herself by doing researches and expanding her clinic.

 

“How's you and your Sunggyu-ssi?” Soyu asked her that morning, while having their breakfast.

 

“Okay,” She replied quietly.

 

“You're making it seem like you're having some sort of romantic relationship with him,”

 

“YAH! It's not like that okay?!”

 

“Oh.. look at you Hana, blushing like a tomato!” Soyu teased.
 

“Y-yah!! What did I say?!”

 

Soyu peered her eyes on her best friend while spreading butter on her toast. “Do you... by any chance... have a special feeling towards your patient?”

 

Hana didn't answer.

 

Soyu nodded with a smirk. “Ah! Finally, my Hana has grown up-”

 

“YAH!! Mrs. Shin said it's not allowed to have a relationship with your patient!”

 

“But Yang Hana has broke the rule! I told you, you would thank me for bringing to the bar last year,”

 

“Shut up!”

 

Soyu laughed, leaving her best friend all flustered.

 

“But Hana...” she ventured.

 

“Hm?”

 

“About your-”

 

“No, he doesn't know,” Hana answered immediately, uncomfortable with the topic.

 

“Are you... planning to tell him?”

 

Hana shook her head

 

“I don't know.”

 

XXX

 

The year changed, and so did the season. Hana impatiently sat on the taxi, not knowing to curse or just admire the traffic in front of her. When she finally arrived at Daph and Dash, she immediately sprinted in the bar after paying the cab. Sunggyu was there. He smiled at her. Yes, Kim Sunggyu smiled at her, and Hana couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Sunggyu had his face blush as he walked out of the bar area and sat with her on one of the tables for two.

 

“Seeing you smile made me happy you know,” she opened their conversation.

 

“I'm getting used to it.” he said. “And what's with the thick glasses,” Sunggyu asked, pointing at the thick-framed spectacles that occupied almost Hana's entire small face.

 

She laughed. “It's the trend these days you know, wearing huge glasses,”

“So have you made any friends yet?” Hana leaned forward.

 

“Uhm... not really...” He cleared his throat nervously. “I don't know whom should I talk to so..”

 

“But you'll be alone,”

 

“I have you...”

 

The both of them went silent after realizing what Sunggyu said. Hana looked around the bar, trying to loosen up the tension, she was supposed to be able to not get awkward and all but... it was different this time.

 

“I- I'm sorry.. I don't mean.. ”

 

“No, it's okay. Just make sure you have enough friends to talk to when I'm not here,” Hana said with a convincing smile.

 

Sunggyu nodded.

 

“How is she Sunggyu-ssi?”

 

“Something funny happened,” He chuckled, “I dreamt about her,”

 

“Isn't it normal? Dreaming about people who we missed. I mean, it's not on our control but-”

 

“No, no, no. Listen to me,”

 

“Oh, Kim Sunggyu-ssi is getting chatty today,” Hana teased with a laugh.

 

“Yah.. it's just...”

 

“Okay, continue,”

 

“So, I was dreaming about her that night. She was wearing a beautiful white gown. She came to me and she cupped my face with her slender fingers, and it felt so right. She smiled. It was beautiful. But she told me that...” Sunggyu paused and Hana waited patiently. “That it wasn't my fault. She told me to let her go and she would be happy if I smiled more, talked more, made more friends...”

 

“So I assume you were trying to do all of the things she said Sunggyu-ssi?” Hana felt her heart sunk when she realized Sunggyu was smiling because of his dream, not her.

 

Sunggyu nodded.

 

“But Sunggyu-ssi,”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Did she tell you to rub that eyeliner-”

 

“Guyliner,”

 

“Yeah, whatever,”

 

“W-why? Do I look bad with it?”

 

Hana laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “You probably wear more cosmetics than I do,” she said while standing up.

 

“I- I'll rub it tomorrow. Um.” He nodded.

 

“You're acting really different today,”

 

“I'm happy today,” he said while gazing at her meaningfully. “It's the first time I feel so glad and relieved after all these years. It's the first time I don't feel guilty when I'm smiling,”

 

Hana smiled at him and nodded. She had completed her mission then. “That's... good to hear Sunggyu-ssi. It's really great.” she seemed like she was about to tear up, but she held those waters back.

 

“I'm leaving... Sunggyu-ssi,” she placed her palms on his cheeks.

 

Sunggyu furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“And... I might not come back,”

 

“Wh-what are you talking about?”

 

“Reality Sunggyu-ssi,” a rivulet dropped down her eyes.

 

“Why are you crying?” he looked at her with worry. Sunggyu had no idea what was going on.

 

She let out a feeble smile and shook her head before chuckling. “She must be a very lucky girl...”

 

“Hana...”

 

It was the very first time Hana's name came out of his mouth and it felt so right. It felt perfect. She nodded. “Hana...” she echoed him.

 

“Why are you leaving?”

 

“Because Sunggyu-ssi, you are healed.” She inched forward and pressed his chest with her pointer, just like how she did when they first talked at the alley, “Does it still hurts?”

 

Sunggyu shook his head. “Thanks to you,” he said.

 

“Then I'm done here,” She tugged her lips upwards although it hurt her so badly.

 

She pulled him and embraced his body. “Bye Sunggyu-ssi... It has been great meeting you. I'm glad I could be a help,”

 

She went out of his embrace and walked towards the door. How she wished that Sunggyu would just pull her wrist and prevent her from going out.

 

Sunggyu stood there, shocked. He stared at her figure, walking out. He made up his mind and immediately jerked her back.

 

“Hana,” he looked at her deeply and laid both of his hands on her shoulders. “I think I like you,”

 

She nodded her head with a bitter smile. It felt so right and wrong at the same time.

 

“I like you Hana. You are different. And for the first time I felt right being with someone's company. You know those sayings: 'Lots of people wants to ride with you in the Limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the Limo breaks down,' and you are that someone Hana. You are willing to take the bus with me,”

 

 

“I know that saying Sunggyu-ssi,” Hana nodded again. “But... your bus... and my bus... we are on a different route,” she paused. “And our bus just happened to intersect at the same road. You have gone through the rough route before we intersect but me Sunggyu-ssi... It's now time for my bus to go through the rough route-”

 

“Then we'll go through this rough route together, until we are able to ride the Limo. Together,”

 

Hana shook her head as tears started to slash her cheeks again. “My route is too rough for you Sunggyu-ssi. It's not that simple,”

 

“I can handle it Hana. Can't you see what I've been through?”

 

“It's a whole new level this time Sunggyu-ssi,”

 

He cupped her face and rubbed her tears with his thumb. The last time he did that was with her, not to any other woman. But this time, he was willing to do that for Hana, because he was sure Hana had replaced her. Hana had been filling his heart slowly.

 

She held his hand. “I can't promise you to meet you tomorrow, but I'll try-”

 

“What if you don't come?”

 

“If I don't come... you ask Woohyun for my apartment. He must know it since I'm living with Sora. Just... make friends Sunggyu-ssi, make friends,”

 

And with that she left.

 

---

Sunggyu couldn't believe it.

 

He traced down his fingers above her cold, pale body and he felt so... empty. Again.

 

It was until that day that he realized she had cut her hair to make him less worried. To cover up the fact that her hair was getting thinner and thinner. The last time Sunggyu had met her, she worn huge, red beanie, covering her head that was only covered with no more than five strands of her hazel hair. It was only until that day that he realized her body was just as thin as a young plant. No flesh. She had been wearing coats over coats to make him less worried. It was only until that day that he realized she had worn those thick spectacles to cover her faint eye brows. To make him less worried.

 

“The chemo had done this to her,” Soyu said behind him with a cracked voice, "The doctor predicted that she won't be able to survive until yesterday. But she made it until this morning,"

 

Sunggyu kneeled down and tears started to swell up. It rolled down his cheeks. He hated crying. It reminded him about her. Again. For once he admitted that Hana was right. That her bus ride was too rough for him.

 

He thought he was able to love Autumn, but no. He thought he could go through October just fine, but no.

 

It was the 31^st of October. The day when Hana had breathed her first and last breath. It was exactly three years ago when she met Sunggyu. And now, she had gone to heaven.

 

When she left Sunggyu, Hana was able to heal his heart.

 

But now, when Hana left him...

 

Who was going to heal his heart?

 

His shattered heart.

 

---

 

Um. Hello readers...

how are you doing? Idk what's with this story TT

Please do comment! :)