(Holy what a cute Jootop(Kyuhyun version)photo!)

My eyes are still opened,still distressed,still broken-hearted..I cannot sleep.I cannot smile and I cannot laugh any more.It is like a life in a monochrome world.No colours,no excitement,no laughter..It is all silent,moodless,expressionless..It is a dull boring feeling you get at this times.As I lie myself on my bed,staring at the dimly lighted ceiling,watching the fan turn,counting how many times it slowly swirls..

I find no meaning in life anymore.

As my head goes counting on..my suppressed feelings for him ravaged out bringing out those mournful tears pouring out from my distressed soul.In my hands,I hold a white medicine bottle that would leave my life in a silent death.

I take a glimpse through these young memories of mine that have brought me here.. 

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My nerves were tensed up by the intense test and I managed through it.That thick white printed paper with my black pencil in my right hand and an eraser in my left side with my eyes stuck onto the largely printed questions on a thick booklet with dual languages.I thoughtfully blackened the answers on the thick paper careful not to go over the edges for fear that I would have my answer sheet rejected.

(Just in case if you don't know how the answer sheet looks like xD)

Despite my funny impression,I was marking on a piece of torn paper that if one row was blackened I would write out 'BINGO' .

I survived the long hours of tests and manged through it for a week.Joyous and glad,I decided to spend my holiday with my boyfriend,Sungmin.But unfortunately he never answered my call but messaged me through the phone instead.

Sorry Kyuhyunnie,I'm having a long trip in L.A ..Miss you..I'll see you next year..Annyeong! <3

A little shocked that he didn't tell me earlier,I put down my phone in depression.Luckily for me,next week is gonna be 2011.So theres nothing to worry about.

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I took out my journal and looked at the photos he sent me from L.A.I looked at them with a smile as I read his stories he also sent me.

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The holidays were over and we all got our results from that test previously.Mine was above average and so was Sungmin's.We both got into the same class which made me glad.

It was early in the morning on the first day of school.It was still dark as the sun was rising.I went straight into my new class which is in the block near to the newly built three story labs.I walked pass through the tables and started finding seats for Sungmin and I.

I set my bag on a chair and walked to the window next to Sungmin's seat that I chose.I waited for him to come in the class excitedly.

After a few minutes of day-dreaming,I saw Sungmin at last,at the doorstep.I called him to sit beside me.To my suprise,his long(to his shoulders) and blond hair was changed into a shorter one.

(Past)

(Present)

Just Jus  Not to spoil the mood of meeting him,I complimented him.

"Nice hair hyung." I smiled.

"Really?Wait..are you trying to be sarcastic?" He frowned.

"No,it looks good on you."

"Oh,okay thanks chu <3"

"Nae nae" I answered while still smiling.

He placed his bag on his chair and sat next to me.

"So..how was your vacation?" I asked.

"mm,its good nothing interesting.." He answered.

As we continued talking,I slowly realized that he was paler and thinner then before.I stopped talking and stared at him.He cocked his head curiously.

"Whats wrong Kyuhyun-ah?"

"Are you okay?you look..sick." I hesitated.

He paused for a bit and his smile slowly faded.I frowned.Then,he suddenly winked at me.

"I'm fine.I was a little sick during the holidays,but I'm okay now.Don't worry." He smiled.

Afraid I would upset him for asking that,I wrapped my arm around him and kissed him.He smiled and kissed back.

"Love you you idiot."

"I love you too.~"

"Lets go to the beach after school." He suggested.

"Sure." I smiled.

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We walked at the sea shore while watching the beautiful scenery.I took a stick and started scribbling something on the soft sand.He looked behind my shoulder.He blushed when he read it.

Together we cherish,together we will remember.

"Thats so cheesy."

"yeah.." I smiled while looking at him.

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But...

Nothing went better than I expected.

One day,he didn't came to school.Concerned,I called him and he said he had to attend some family reunion somewhere.I called him through his phone but he didn't answer.

Home telephone.

Still no answer.

Pissed,I called through his brother's phone,Donghae.

Finally,

someone answered.

"Hello?" the other line answered.

"Yes!!" I shouted,relieved.

"what?Who are you?" He asked.

"Umm..I'm Kyuhyun.Sungmin's boyfriend.Is Sungmin available?"

A sudden pause and silence in the phone.

"oh..um.." he hesitated.

"Is he available?Is he okay!?" I started to panick.

"I have news that you won't like..he's..umm...in an infensive care unit in Seoul hospital..and I don't know how to say this but..

he's gonna die."

The line went silent.

I dropped my phone in shock.

"hello?HELLO?" the phone vibrated.

I ran outside while panicking.Tears poured down my cheeks as I paddled my bicycle hurriedly.

"Sungmin.."