'cause all i really want is to be with you

The airport is packed, as it always is whenever they go to travel somewhere for some show. There are too many camera flashes, too many bodies swarming the area and too much screaming stinging his ears. Someone stumbles upfront holding up the group's movement, which always happens. Jongdae steps back a bit as he stands on his tiptoe to see if it's Lu Han again (it's usually Lu Han, because his fans are quite vicious with the touching and grabbing). When he sees that it's taking a while for whoever it is to get back up (if it's Lu Han, his phone probably is lost in the sea of feet), he thinks of squeezing his way over until he sees that it's Sehun who has fallen instead of Lu Han and Jongdae plants his feet back on the ground and shrugs. Sehun is a big boy.

An arm wraps around his shoulder and Jongdae immediately shuffles back to snuggle into it. He smiles to himself because, as much as Kris denies that he's not a cheeseball of any sort, he really is and Jongdae wants to relish the affection, especially in such a public scene. Contentedly, he reaches up and intertwines his fingers with the hand on his shoulder. Except that is not Kris' hand. Kris' hands are like monster-sized plates and this hand is definitely far from that, dainty and soft.

Jongdae looks to his right to find Yixing smiling at him, very much amused as if he knows exactly what went on in Jongdae's head.

"Sorry," Yixing chirps, "not duizhang."

Jongdae merely makes a face at him because there's no point in denying something that is true. He looks around--or tries to (it's really hard with the fans trying to claw their way into the members' skins)--but doesn't see the tall blonde that he's very fond of.

"Where is that dummy," Jongdae mutters to himself, looking down to make sure he doesn't step on anyone's heels.

"He's right up ahead," Yixing tells him, leaning closer so that his lips are right on Jongdae's ear. "Taking care of Kyungsoo. He got hit by one of the fan cameras."

Jongdae frowns at this. But despite the concern that he feels for his fellow member and friend, he couldn't stop the tinges of jealousy that crawls in his chest. Jongdae may not be as tiny as Kyungsoo or Joonmyun (because Kris looks out a lot for Joonmyun whenever they're in airports too), but that doesn't mean that Jongdae doesn't need looking after. It's not that he's selfish of Kris' affection. All he's saying is that, now that he and Kris have gotten into some sort of an understanding of their feelings for each other, that maybe, maybe, Kris would look out for him more than he usually would. And not look after other members and not be touchy-feely with them as much.

Okay so maybe he's a bit more jealous than he originally admitted.

But Jongdae takes a deep breath because he's not going to make this a big deal. He and Kris may have revealed their feelings to each other through hurried confessions and making out backstage, but that doesn't really mean anything. Not when it's never happened again. Jongdae would chalk it up to the busyness of their schedules, except he has this strange feeling that Kris is avoiding him.

Yixing lightly squeezes his hand before his arm moves down around Jongdae's waist. "You're worrying about the wrong things," he whispers to Jongdae, his lips brushing Jongdae's ear. "Don't worry. I've got you."

Jongdae forces a smiles and decides that he's going to sleep all the nonsense in his brain away in the airplane. He'll have to talk to Baekhyun not to be too noisy, but he's got a window seat and it'll be good for him to rest before they land and the chaos of their lives start again.

Except when he gets to his seat, it's not Baekhyun who's sitting beside him. Kris is flipping through the airplane magazine like it's his life's goal, brows furrowed and lips pursed. Jongdae knows that he's been bummed out about Kris avoiding him, but he's not sure he can take even just a nap with Kris' arm brushing his. He looks around the plane, trying to make a quick decision, sighting Chanyeol getting extremely cozy with Sehun, Baekhyun biting Joonmyun's shoulder, Minseok smiling in amusement at Lu Han's antics, and wonders who he can bribe to switch seats. He spots Yixing putting on his earphones, sitting beside a Kyungsoo neatly placing his blanket on his lap and turns to go to them. Kyungsoo owes him and Yixing told him he's got his back so maybe he can cash in on a favor.

"Where are you going?" Kris suddenly speaks, reaching out to grab Jongdae's wrist.

Jongdae practically wheezes in shock and he lets out a stuttered laugh. "Just... putting my bag in the compartment," he lies, removing his backpack and securing it in the overhead compartment before resigning himself to his fate of sitting beside Kris.

"You act like you don't want to be seated with me," Kris comments after a couple of minutes of quietly watching Jongdae make himself comfortable and turn towards the window.

Kris is never unsure of himself; or if he ever is, he never shows it. But the way Kris sounded just now... Jongdae turns to face him, an eyebrow raised. "Would it matter if I actually wanted to be seated with someone else right now?" he asks. "I mean since you make decisions all by yourself anyway."

"Jongdae, I--"

"I don't want some excuse, hyung. If you don't want me, all you have to do is say so," Jongdae interrupts him, blurting out more than he's been intending to. He gets up, needing to calm himself down, and throws his blanket on his seat. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Jongdae knows he's been rude; maybe slightly more unforgiving than he normally would be, but this isn't a game to him. He's put himself out there, kissed Kris and told him that he liked him, and if all he's going to get is being ignored in return well Jongdae's got better things to do.

He makes his way through the aisles, stopping over for a second to hit Baekhyun on the back of his head, before he reaches the bathroom. He pushes the door open and turns around to close it when it's pushed open again so suddenly, it almost hits his nose. Jongdae gapes as Kris squeezes in mercilessly inside with him, locking the door in his wake.

"What are you doing?" Jongdae manages to say as Kris turns around, piercing gaze on him.

"Of all the things you would think, /that/ is what you choose," Kris starts, voice low and almost menacing. Jongdae shivers.

"Huh," Jongdae stupidly responds. "What."

Jongdae gasps as Kris grabs his wrist and pulls him towards him, their chests bumping. There is something confusing about this scenario because weren't they just fighting earlier? Isn't Kris avoiding him? There is a dryness in Jongdae's throat as Kris reaches up and cups his cheek before dipping in to kiss him.

Kris' lips are soft and it's almost like Jongdae is kissing him for the first time because the real first time feels so long ago. Jongdae then frowns and remembers that he's actually mad at Kris. He places his palms on his chest and pushes.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jongdae demands, trying to be nonchalant.

"How could you ever think that I didn't want you--that I don't want you?" Kris starts, pulling Jongdae closer again. "Haven't I made myself very clear that I like you? Didn't I say that explicitly even when I thought you didn't have any semblance of feeling for me?"

"So what," Jongdae snaps, pushing at Kris until Kris' back hits the door. They're taking very long in the bathroom and people are probably going to think things, but so what. Kris has chosen to resolve this in an airplane bathroom of all places so this is where they're going to fix things. "That doesn't mean anything when you've been avoiding me after it. What was I supposed to think when, after we've practically taken each other's clothes off backstage, you've resorted back to making me feel like I'm not special?"

Kris' cheeks are tinged pink at the reminder of what happened during rehearsal. But his eyes widen at Jongdae's words. "Jongdae, I was trying to give you space," he explains, panicked.

"Space?" Jongdae repeats. "Space? Why would I need space?"

Kris swallows before answering, Jongdae's eyes following the movement. Jongdae would be lying if he didn't think anything more of their compromising position. They're in the perfect place to make out and, maybe, do other things. If not for the pressing matter at hand, Jongdae would have already made a move. Besides, Kris doesn't look like he has anything but talking on his mind.

"Because I didn't--I don't--want to force you into anything," Kris mutters in explanation. Jongdae's eyes narrow. "You've never even seen the possibility of something with me until I accidentally told you I liked you." He sags onto the door. "I'm not... this isn't a game for me," he continues. "I'm not going to get into this if you have even just the slightest uncertainty about this." He bites his lip and meets Jongdae's wide eyes. "I really like you, Jongdae. This isn't about just being able to make out with you or getting into your pants like you think I want to--" He clears his throat as red blooms onto his face.

"So you don't want to?" Jongdae raises an eyebrow.

"I do," Kris snaps before blushing even further. "But it's not just about that," he hurriedly adds, running a hand through his gelled hair. "I also want to hold your hand and hug you whenever I want and cuddle you when we're watching TV. I want to be able to play with your fingers when we're sitting beside each other during breakfast and make your coffee the way you want it and..." He blows out a breath. "But you do the same things with everyone else and I don't--I'm not one to share."

Jongdae opens his mouth then closes it again. This has got to be the silliest argument he's had with anyone in his life. All along, when Jongdae's been thinking that Kris doesn't like him the way he likes Kris, it's been the exact same dilemma for Kris, too. He almost laughs but he sees Kris' downcast eyes and thinks that this isn't the time.

"Can I make something clear?" Jongdae finally speaks, reaching for Kris' hand and squeezing it. Kris looks at him. "I am not the same with everyone else the way I am with you."

"But you're cozy with Baekhyun and earlier with Yixing..." Kris cuts himself off and shakes his head.

"Only because I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me!" Jongdae responds emphatically. "You were avoiding me and they were there. I thought you didn't like me as much as you thought you did and decided that--"

Kris kisses Jongdae. Kris kisses him and Jongdae wraps his arms around Kris' neck to close whatever space there still was between them. Kris kisses like a dream; kisses even better than in Jongdae's dreams. There's just the right touch of tongue that makes everything in Jongdae's being tingle with want and anticipation. If he thought that their first kiss was good, this one is infinitely so much better because, finally, they understand each other. Because finally things are clear.

"I like you," Jongdae tells him definitely. "A lot." He caresses Kris' cheek with his thumb, albeit with some difficulty since Kris /is/ so much taller than he is. "This isn't a game for me either. I want to do all those things with you--holding hands, hugging, cuddling, breakfast together--everything with you. I want you to take special care of me like I want to take special care of you." He smiles. "And I'm not one to share either," he adds, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Earlier with Kyungsoo," Kris sputters in an attempt of an explanation.

Jongdae laughs and kisses him. "I'll forgive you if you forgive me with what happened with Yixing hyung earlier," he calls.

Kris chuckles. "Okay."

Later, when they land, there are too many swarming fans all over again. Jongdae blinks as a bright camera flash lights up right at his face. He stumbles slightly backward, grabbing the back of Minseok's jacket so he wouldn't fall over. Luckily, there's an arm snaking around his waist, supporting him.

Jongdae smiles, not bothering to look up to know who it is. Kris gives Jongdae's waist a light squeeze when Jongdae practically cuddles to him.

"So I take everything's okay?" Yixing asks when they're in line to immigration. He moves closer to Jongdae, putting an arm around him.

Jongdae opens his mouth to answer just as Kris looks back to glare at them.

"Ah," Yixing says, removing his arm around Jongdae's shoulder. "Duizhang is possessive."

Jongdae merely smiles in agreement, his grin widening when Kris relaxes. But that's okay; Jongdae is possessive, too.