MAN POV

“Ahhh,, this is life!” then he lie down in the white sand

 He didn’t know that there is beautiful sea like this in Korea, if he know, he will have his vacation without forcing him, his father ask him to have vacation here in Korea.

He gives me address to visit a friend but I failed, the neighbor said that they already transfer to other home and no one lives there now, when I told him about this, I sadness  from his voice

“Aish,I don’t understand why Appa ask me to have vacation here in Korea, I know I am Korean but I’m not used to live here, I’m not comfortable here “ they used to live here from his birth then they left Korea when he was 6 years old and until now, he still don’t know the reason why we live in United Arab of Emirates and left Korea, my mother, I don’t remember her face, every time I will ask about her, my father will dismiss me fast, I got tired of asking about her.

While walking in the seaside, he saw woman standing near the water, he brush his eye maybe he is just imagining things, but the figure is still there, she is wearing white dress, her hair is shining from the light of the moon blowing by the wind, what will a woman do in the middle of the night in the sea? Maybe a ghost?

He laughs at his self for believing in ghost t his age

He saw the woman walking toward the sea, what she think is doing? Going to swim in the cold middle of the night?

I saw something like this in the movie when a woman is alone in a resort in the middle of the night, she will go for suicide

He got chills from what he thought but it looks like because the woman is continue walking toward the water, the water is now below her waist,

I should stop her

“Hey” he shouted to the woman and he grabs her arm

The shocked in the face to the woman showed, as if she saw a ghost in me

“Maru-sshi” she gently caress my cheek with a tears I her eyes and I’m more shocked when she hug me

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“Happy Anniversary oppa,,How are you? Are you happy there? It’s our second year anniversary and I’m celebrating it alone,, I really miss,, why you leave me? Why you didn’t wait for me long enough until I come?  Mianhe oppa, mianhe, I’m late” my tears cannot stop from falling while staring to the dark sea

I woke up in the middle of the night with the same nightmare, it’s just 3 am, I just sleep about 1 or 2 hours, but immediately, the nightmare visit me again, for the past 1 year not even single night this will not happen, can he forgive me?

How many times did I say this word? Every day, I’m always saying this, I’m really sorry for what happen to him, it’s my fault, everyone saying it’s not my fault but I know it’s my fault,

I kill him

I kill the man I loved

The man I only loved

The man I will love forever

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal

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It’s our first year anniversary, for the whole month, we were celebrating our first year together, every morning I will be surprise with 1 stem of rose in front of my house with message attached to it, then in afternoon, he will send me lunch in my work place then in evening someone will deliver stuffed toy with recorded song and what made me cry was he is the one who sing them

Every time I received the gift, always reminds of me how lucky I am to have him

We’re not seeing each other for the whole month, so I’m really excited today; he said he has special surprise for me today, what could be? What he is doing for the whole month was really special.

“Appa, Im home” so many works she did in the office but it seems that she is still full of energy, she never got tired today

“why shouting sweetie?” he came out from the kitchen in his apron“It seem that you’re so happy and excited huh?”

She kissed him and just smile at him, is she really that obvious?

“Nothing, your cooking?” he is the best cook in the world

“Nothing but your smile as if you won in lottery game, how much huh? ” he said while raising his eyebrow

She just laugh at his father “it looks delicious appa”

“Of course, nothing but the best for my daughter”

He hugged and kissed her in the forehead,, having a great father and the best boyfriend, what would she will ask for,, she is the luckiest girl in world now

“Ah, before I forgot, because you left home early today and they came late, there is delivery for you, they are in your room, I think I know why this all excitement”

”You read the message?” her eyes almost pop out from shock, she should have waited for the delivery man

“I did not” her eyes got bigger”ok, I read it, but I’m just making sure that it’s for you, what if it’s just wrong address? I just take glance” he said in defensive tone

“Appa, how could you!” she is about to run to her room to check the gift when she heard her father talk again

”Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.. Your giving me chills” he said while laughing hard

“Appa!!”  she is really embarrassed now,, how could that be a glance, he already memorize the line

She immediately check the gift, gift number 1; 1 dozen of roses then there is this 1 big raccoon stuff toy with message in the neck

“chagiya, sorry, I cannot find big toy with recorder, but check the hand there is like pen recorder there, any way, happy anniversary,, I will borrow quotes from someone I don’t know it says, Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. And that is me; my life is empty before I met you.

For first time, hearing “I love you, Kang Maru”…  I heard that kind of heart-thumping word. This is the first time I find that living and breathing every moment feels wonderful. You give meaning to my life; somehow I’m thankful about the accident that leads my way to you. Thank you for loving me..

Happy Anniversary honey,,

” Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
- Lao Tzu

 

She is teary eyed when she finished reading the message, then she check the recorder, the song is The greatest story ever told, I really like this song, I love the meaning of the lyrics

Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could have prayed for
Here you are
If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you and I together
I'm so glad I'm your man
And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
but if destiny decided I should look the other way
then the world would never know
the greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
tonight
I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine
It's the way we touch, it soothes me
It's the way we'll always be
your kiss your pretty smile
you know i'd die for
oh baby
you're all i need
And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
but if destiny decided I should look the other way
then the world would never know
the greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
just how much i really need you
did I tell you that I love you
tonight
tonight
And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
that day
but if destiny decided I should look the other way
then the world would never know
the greatest story ever told
and did I tell you that I love you
just how much I really need you
did I tell you that I love you tonight

“hey, I will fetch you at 7pm tonight, we will have dinner, bring thick sweater ok, I don’t want you to get cold, but it’s also ok if you will not, I will just hug you very tight, that’s more convenient for me,, (smiley)

Then the last gift, it’s a wooden box, she is trying to open it but she cannot

“What is this? Is this a puzzle?” she check all side, then at the bottom its says,

“YOU CANNOT OPEN THAT WITHOUT ME SWEETIE, BRING THAT LATER- YOUR BELOVED KANG MARU”

“yah, Kang Maru,, your making me fall for you all over again and again!” who could not love this man?

She is screaming from happiness now while she is hugging the toy rolling in her bed

6:00 PM

She is dressing up when her mobile phone ring, when she check its Jung Il woo

“Hello?”

“Noona, can you do me a favor? Can you please change me here? My sister called and she said that our mother collapsed, she is at the hospital right, I just need to check her, I will come back immediately, Im calling theothers but they are not answering, please” he is nearly crying, his mother was diagnosed with cancer stage 2 and she is on going with chemotherapy

She check the time its just 6 pm so, she still have time and she cannot say no to Il woo with this circumstances

“Ok, I’ll be there with in 15 minutes, I will just change, come back immediately or call me immediately if you cannot come so I can cancel my appointment ok?”

“Thank you so much, I owned you one” then he hang up

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 She is on her way to their quarters to remember to call Maru, he is not answering and it transfer me to voice mail,

“hey, happy anniversary, thank you for the gift today, what is that box huh? Another surprise cannot wait, anyway, don’t fetch me, I got emergency call from work, I need to go there, can you just give me the location? I will just meet you there, I love you”

As she arrived at the quarter, there is already call, the police said that it is drunk guy in make his way to the fence, they immediately apply first aid and transfer him in the hospital,  just they are leaving the hospital, they got call, another accident happen

As they arrived in the area, she saw that the car he was driving was stuck between 2 trees, it will hard for them to get him.

“This will be hard” she just whisper to herself

“Get the tools here, I will just check the patient and let’s see if he still can hold on” she said to the driver

After I check for the patient, they have to cut the one tree to open the car, for the patient to get out, after almost 30 minutes, they successfully open the car but the other problem occur, his foot got stuck under the stereo

“What we will do now? He is in so much in pain, his foot is already turning blue color?” ask the driver

“Give me the scissor, I will cut the pants and there is baby oil in the ambulance, give it to me, there is no open wound, so we can put that, hope this will work because we cannot removed this is little time to save his feet”

She put all the oil and slowly they pull him, and luckily, they removed him

“Ma’am, there is another accident just the next street” the driver said,

“What?? What happen today? Accident day?”

Good thing, 1 paramedic came but he is still new, still on training, he still cannot tell him to go alone to the area.

“Ok, I will go with the police officer to the next area, go with the driver, you know what to do inside the ambulance right,  the hospital is just near, so come back fast”

The next patient maybe 9 years old girl, it was hit and run, she immediately check the pulse, no pulse and there is no breathing, she felt a stabbing pain in her heart, it cannot be..

She immediately performed CPR

“Common wake up, you cannot die, you will be my first patient to die in my hand, don’t do this to me” she continue performing CPR

She now sweating hard from performing the CPR and the fear of losing this patient

“Ma’am, enough” someone stop my hand, I saw the driver, and he is shaking his head with sympathy in his eyes

She just look at him then jerk his hand

“Give me the defibrillator!”

“Ma’am!”

“Give to me I said!” she look her with sharp eye

She used the defibrillator but still no used, she change to CPR again

“Ma’am, there is another accident, a car bump in the tree, we have to go, let the police take care of the body”

She cannot lose patient, never, that what she promise to herself, she will fight the angel of death, not this angel, she will have bright future ahead of her,, I’m sure of that and she cannot  take that away from her

“Ma’am! Get a grip, stop that, it’s no used, we have other patient” still knocking some sense from her

“What? Other drunk guy again? A drunk driver did this to her and I will give up just to save some useless drunk driver? They deserve what will happen to them but not this girl!” shouting at them

She is now crying but still continues pumping; she will not give up, never,

“Don’t give up please, come back to us,, common,,”

“She is now moving!” they said with surprise, she is moving her fingers now, she have pulse now, it is weak but she can manage

She did it, she did it, her hands now are trembling and her feet got weak, she just sit in the floor

“Thank God”

“Bring her to the hospital; I will go to the accident area”

When she arrived to  the scene she saw a guy lying in the cement, when she is on her way, she stamp on the plate number of the car that was detached, she was stun when she read the plate number, with the trembling hand, she pick it up

“No, it can’t be,” at she look at the guy lying in the cement, she cannot move, as if she was statue, her feet are heavy, her whole body is cold

“ma’am, let’s go”

When she came to her senses, she came running, she confirmed her suspicion when she is in his side

“Maru ya,, open your eyes, please,,” she is now crying,  what just happen? Why he is here? She feel his pulse and it is weak,,

“Hi,” he opens his eyes and smile at me “I waited for you, I know you will come to save me, I’m so happy to see you, happy anniversary Chae Won shi” then he look at his watch, “I’m not yet late to greet you right?” then he cough with blood

“Oppa, don’t talk please, we will bring you to hospital” she cannot think straight, she don’t know what to do now,

His right foot was stuck under his car, they cannot just moved him, they need to lift the car first

“Oppa, hold on ok,, don’t let go, just hold my hand” she held his hand tight

“Im sorry, Im late, why left the resort? Why you did not wait for me there?”

“No, you just on time, I don’t want to leave without seeing you”

“You will not leave me, understand?” she is now afraid of the words that coming out from his mouth

“Chae won sshi, you know that you’re the best thing that happen to me, I always pray for your happiness,”

“Oppa, don’t talk please, save your energy,” she cry louder

“From the day that I met you, I always yearn from your smile that always bright my day, I will do everything just to see that, please, find someone that will make you smile that will not make you cry, that will love only you, just like I did to you”

“What are you talking about? No! No!” it breaks her heart seeing him like this

He put his hand to her face; they feel so cold, just like ice that crawling in to her heart

“Be happy with someone, I will not leave you, I will be beside you no matter what, I’m sorry that I did not fulfill my promise that I will not make you cry, seeing you like this breaks my heart, please stop crying, hmm,,?”

She just nod and smile just for him even it breaks her heart, she cannot utter even single word

“You have the box?”

“Yes, you said that I cannot open that without you, so don’t leave me,, huh? We will open that together”

He laugh even its hard for him, how she wish that it will last longer

“It’s just a clue, you cannot open that without my name, just put our name together and it will open, there’s a paper there, just throw that,”

He continue coughing

“Hold on, you can do it,, understand?”

“I  don’t think I can last that long, I’m sorry I really want to stay with you but my body feels weak, I will always love you, don’t forget that, I love you, I’m sorry” he smile, I think that is the sweetest smile I saw from him, then the smile fade from his face and his cold hand slowly dropping from my face,  I was shocked, I cannot believe this is happening

“No, Maru yah, wakeup, open your eyes! Please, open your eyes” she is tapping his face to wake him up but his lifeless body lying in her lap

She immediately performed CPR but no used, she repeat and repeat while sobbing but there is no response from him

“You cannot leave me just like that, you cannot, you understand” she is shouting at him now while she continue pumping his chest

“Oppa, please, Oppa, open your eyes” she got tired from pumping, she just lean on his chest sobbing, “Oppa”

Il woo just pull her from the body

“Noona” there is full of sympathy in his eyes

“Il woo yah, help me, help him please, he cannot die right, he cannot leave me”

He hugs her tighter while she is crying, she is beating his chest and pulling his shirt, he just let her, if it will ease the pain she is experiencing now, and it breaks his heart seeing her like this

She cannot believe what is happening today, she is hoping this is just nightmare; she just wants to wake up from this nightmare

They say you cannot stop the fate of one person, if you interfere in one’s destiny everything will change.  Because when the accident happen, its God will, it’s their fate, is this payment from saving the life of the little girl?

Did I exchange the life of my love to someone I don’t know?

When we arrived at the hospital, I saw his mother and I run like a little girl to her

“eomma, miahne, miahne,, it’s my fault, I’m sorry” begging her to forgive me

“It’s no one’s fault chae won, its accident” she said while the tears are falling

When the doctor will announce the time of death, she cannot take it listen to him, she just run away to the bathroom, then she cry, she she look at her hand, its full of blood, she want to vomit from what she saw, her hand shake on the site of blood, she is not afraid of blood, she is afraid that it is the blood of her boyfriend that she killed, she immediately go to the sink and wash her hand furiously, when she got tired, she sit in the floor and cry endlessly

What did I do? What have I done? That is the question kept running to her mind

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Whoever said that loss gets easier with time was a liar. Here's what really happens: The spaces between the times you miss them grow longer. When you remember all the memory, it's still with a stabbing pain to the heart. And you have guilt.

There will always be a part that misses him. There were times that I will see something that reminds me of him and want to tell him about it, only to realize he's not there anymore. Then you'll feel the loss all over again.

“Oppa, I really miss you,” her tears cannot stop from falling, she sit in the sand and cuddle her leg, if there is one thing that she will do just to see him even just for this time

There were times that I question God for what happen, she is here, saving life of others and the life of the man he only love, died in her arms it’s just so unfair

Before she came here in the resort, she went to the house of the girl that she save that night, she cannot forget her face, that is the face she exchange in his life, she is angry and grateful at the same time, she is on her way to school with her mother, she just stare at her from distance,

“Please live your life to the fullest; life is short to waste it, it’s your second life, seized the moment that you are living, please take care of it” she whisper to herself as if the girl is in front of her

 She looks happy, while starring at her, she cannot help but cry, then the mother saw chae won, the mother just about to approached chae won but she just bow at her and leave quickly, she cannot face her, not now, she is not ready, partly she is blaming the little girl but she know the truth, she just cannot accept it.

While staring in the dark sea, something hit her head, there is only one solution for her to see him, if I will join him, maybe I can be with him,

She stand and walk toward the sea, she cannot live with the guilt she is feeling right now

“Wait for me oppa, I’m coming,” she is sorry to her father and to her friend but I known that they will understand me, they know what I’m going through, they will forgive me

The water is in the above my waist when I heard someone shout and grab my arm, when she turn to see who whose arm belongs that, she got shocked when she saw the face she dream every night, the face that she is hoping to see

“Maru-sshi” she caress his face gently and the tears continues to fall, how he miss him, she really miss him and she throw herself to him