Kris followed the routine on autopilot, too tired to really do much else but just let his body go through the motions imprinted on his subconscious. But his tiredness didn’t stop the cogs whirring in his mind. Tao was sick, and manager hyung had said he was resting in the dressing room, and Lay was staying with him.

There was a time when it would have been him staying with Tao rather than Lay, but that was a long time ago, and Tao had moved on since then.

Do you remember that time
When you were mine

Kris remembered back to their time together. Cuddling on the sofa watching a movie late at night, long after the other members had gone to bed. Slow walks in the moonlight, down the quiet streets, just the two of them. It was on one of those walks they had first kissed. It had been hesitant, and far from perfect, but it had been perfect for them, and there was nothing that could ever replace that moment in Kris’s mind.

We danced in the moon glow,
Your hands moved slow,
You kissed me on the lips,
Swore I wouldn't look back.

You struggled a lot at first, not with us, but with the group. It was hard for you, but I promised id be with you, to help you and to guide you. It wasn't a hard promise to make. Staring into your eyes, I felt I could conquer the world as long as you were beside me. Our relationship wasn't perfect, we had our quarrels, but we never doubted we’d make it in the end.

You promised me you would never do anything to hurt me when I began to have struggles of my own, promised never to leave me on my own. You told me you loved me, and that your love would never die. It helped me back then, gave me something to hold on to when everything else was falling apart.

I felt the world was ours for the taking,
When I fell into your eyes,
Never a doubt that we would make it if we tried.
You promised you'd never break my heart,
Never leave me in the dark,
Said your love would be for all time,
But that was back when you were mine

Each time we argued, we came out stronger for it. We became closer. You told me you felt it was different from everyone before. That it was deeper, it meant more. I felt like I had everything with you, that we had everything together. But I was blind....

Here, with me, I thought we'd be,
Stronger than the past,
Better than the ones before.
How did I fool myself into thinking,
We had it all

You always said you’d be there with me forever. You said we would never be apart, that our love would last through everything, that it could never be broken.

You said you'd be there,
You'd said it'd last forever,
But that was back when you were mine
Back when we were in love

Where did those words come from Tao? Were they really from your heart? Did you mean any of it, or was it all just a lie? I trusted you, I loved you, I gave you everything, you were my everything.... But then there was Lay.... I don't blame him, it wasn't his fault. But he came and stole you away from me. Somehow, with Lay, you're different. You seem happier, and maybe it’s better for you to be with him than it is me.

I remember all the words you said to me, everything that touched my heart. And I remember everything that ripped it apart. Every time I saw you with Lay, and the dagger that pierced me when I found you kissing, or snuggled together on the couch, where we used to sit.... I tell myself that you didn’t mean it, that you really never meant to hurt me, but.... I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to believe that, and let myself heal.

I guess you've never really meant it baby
Did you baby?