Every story ends.

Hanbin thinks as he welcomes silence like an old friend, his head buried in the warmth of his arms and his eyes glued on the screen just in front of him. He sits alone at the same old room with his head full of random thoughts—dangerous thoughts that seem to run around his mind endlessly. The deadline is in two days but the songs aren’t ready. He can make countless songs, in different tunes, different rhythms, different meanings, but all of them, in the end, become irrelevant.

The right emotion isn’t there. It doesn’t feel right; in fact, nothing feels right anymore. It stopped feeling right the moment things ended one winter night, his hair dishevelled, his eyes puffy and dazed, and his face nearly frozen due to the cold air brushing his cheeks over and over again. It stung, he remembers clearly, but he’s too hurt to care about frozen hands and feet.

He doesn’t really show it in front of others because that would mean he’s weak. He can’t be “weak” in front of the members, he just can’t. It’s not a responsibility but these days, it’s become a habit. It’s easier to wallow in silence than to lie and lie repeatedly—he’s not fine but there’s nothing they can do to make him feel better.

Every story ends.

He types, nearly filling the entire page with the same phrase, because it’s true. Every story does end. Doesn’t matter how, or who dies or who lives, or when, or what happens—it just ends.

“It’s nearly a year, huh?”

He whispers to no one in particular but he wishes she’s here. He hopes to wake up one day and realize it was just one big nightmare, and he’ll find her next to him, laughing over his dumb, corny jokes and cheesy pick-up lines, sharing one big bag of Doritos and singing Adele’s songs in broken English.

Most importantly, he hopes to wake up one day and then she’ll be the same old girl he used to, and always will, love, flashing that toothy, crooked grin at him.

But. Every. Story. Ends.

“Another competition, another pain,” Yunhyeong says under his breath one night when they’re all in bed in the same room. After the huge announcement of another survival show, another year of sufferings and heartbreaks and disappointments, the six friends decide to just sleep in the living room.

The other five do not respond. They’ve already agreed in silence, feeling as if words aren’t needed to be spoken at all.

“We’re going to be okay, right?” The oldest, Jinhwan, asks confidently at first but he bites his lips five seconds later when he realizes that maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s not going to be okay.

Hanbin sighs.

“We will,” he mutters firmly, and repeats it again five seconds later with a louder voice, simply echoing throughout the room as the night passes by slowly. He hopes he convinces the group of his subtle encouragement, but more importantly, he hopes he has convinced himself.

The months pass by quickly that Hanbin has trouble keeping up but it keeps him distracted, which is better than just drowning in misery all day. The late-night practices keep him busy and distracted. He thinks of her once in a while but he tries to divert his attention to something else before he gets too submerged in that lonely road.

At least until their unpredictable president decides it’d be best to make them work with female singers from their company.

Hanbin is scared, nervous. He knows who he’s teaming up with, who he’s going to work with and see for the next days, weeks… even months. He isn’t sure he can handle himself; he never knows when he’s going to break, or when it’s going to just fall right then there.

So while they’re waiting for the camera crew one bright morning, Hanbin is anxious and uneasy as he sits with Donghyuk and Hongseok, who, on the other hand, are both shooting him worried looks. Donghyuk knows the entire story while Hongseok doesn’t, making the former feel more concerned for his hyung.

“Hyung, you going to be okay?” Donghyuk whispers quickly as he leans closer to Hanbin and eyes Hongseok, who is leaving for a short bathroom trip.

Hanbin forces a smile. “Of course, you silly kid. Worry about how to look good for the camera.”

“It’s been a year.”

“I know.”

“Are you really going to be okay?”

Hanbin doesn’t say anything. Instead, he sends the younger boy another smile—bigger and more convincing than before. He knows the kid won’t stop, and he also knows he’s never going to convince him anyway even if he tells him a hundred times that he’s okay even if he’s not.

Every story ends.

(“Unnie, you going to be okay?”

“Of course, you silly kid. Worry about how to look good for the camera.”

“It’s been a year.”

“I know.”

Silence.

“Are you really going to be—”

“I’ll be okay. I’ll be fine.”

I will be fine. I will be. I will. I will. I swear I will.

“And action!”)

The camera is up and Hanbin pretends to discuss about the songs they think might look cool in front of the judges and concepts that will fit the group. The fear is there, in his eyes, and Donghyuk nearly gets caught by the camera with an anxious look. Hongseok remains neutral.

And then she’s there, jumping and prancing as she enters the door with the same smile he used to put on her face. She looks cuter, he notices, with her curly pigtails and slightly grown up outfit. And those legs! How dare she wears shorts in front of these guys!

Oh.

Never mind.

Who is he to complain anyway?

“Hello,” Hayi greets politely with her usual bright-and-passive contradicting smile, waving her hands. She bounces like a kid and puts up her hand to high five Donghyuk, then Hongseok, and then Hanbin.

Their hands meet for a brief moment and Hanbin’s walls are slowly crumbling down. A year has passed and he sees her again, finally. But he steals a look at the camera, careful of his reactions, but the camera crew remains livid, and then he immediately refocuses back at the scene.

“Offer her a seat,” Hanbin says.

“Oh, can I sit?” Hayi teases lightly, carefully plopping down right next to Donghyuk and her eyes looking anywhere else. “But when I came in, your reactions weren’t that great.”

Hanbin is flustered, quickly stammering out a string of “No, no, no.” Nice work, Captain Obvious.

“Your expressions don’t seem great!” Hayi laughs. “All of you were like, ‘what is wrong with this kid?’”

The three shake their head enthusiastically, and Hanbin’s waving his hands a bit too much. Donghyuk shoots him a look but Hanbin doesn’t really notice because his eyes are stuck at her.

“We, uh, we hoped you would join our team,” says Hanbin sincerely, his hands still moving.

“Y-yeah, we hoped Noona would come,” Donghyuk joins in, clasping his hands politely.

In the next few minutes, Hanbin manages to absorb himself in explaining the chosen concept for their performance. He becomes too absorbed he doesn’t realize the two other have become quiet, merely staring at them with mischief looks on their faces. However, that remains unnoticed by Hanbin, whose attention is on Hayi for the entire time.

Sometimes, Hanbin nearly loses it and tries to take a quick breather in between conversations. He reminds himself to stay afloat.

And not to stare at those puppy, adorable eyes.

“I’ll really do my best,” Hayi declares firmly as she sits across Hanbin, brushing her hand against the blanket on her lap. The other two members begin practicing at the other room, leaving Hayi and Hanbin alone in front of the eyes of many.

Hanbin’s throat has dried up but he forces himself to keep talking, and look down most of the time because he’s too shy to make eye contact. He’ll drown if he does.

Fortunately, the crew decides it’s enough for one episode. They leave the two for a more in-depth meeting.

“So…”

“We don’t have to talk!” Hanbin blurts out, earning a surprised look from Hayi, and regrets it after. He nearly face-palms himself but settles for a mental slap instead. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Hayi clears , a small smile drawing on her face.

“Aren’t we going to talk about what we’re going to do for your performance?” She asks casually.

“Oh, yeah. That. I mean, there might be some changes soon. I don’t know. We’ll get there eventually.”

“Oh, okay. I guess I should leave then?”

“No! I mean, yes!” He widens his eyes, startled, and shakes his head abruptly. “N-No. Uh, wait. No.”

Hayi chuckles.

“So, what do you really want?”

“Y—”

He freezes, relieved he stopped himself right then and there. That was really close. Hanbin was really close at ruining things between them. On the other hand, Hayi offers him a hopeful look, oblivious of what’s going on in his head.

“Nothing,” he answers, at last, and manages a small smile. “You can leave.”

Hayi blinks, surprised, but stands up and smiles. She whispers a quick goodbye and departs the room without looking back.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Now and then, Hanbin steals glances at the brown-haired girl from afar or watches her secretly through the mirror, as if he’s monitoring her performance.

Donghyuk merely laughs at his hyung’s silly actions.

It happens quite a lot, Hanbin staring at Hayi. It grows even more obvious each day and Donghyuk isn’t really sure if his hyung is aware of it.

(“Hyung, stop. You’re digging a hole on her back.”

“What are you talking about,” he shrugs off, and automatically, his eyes go back to the girl with the brown hair and adorable round eyes.

“That, hyung. You’re staring too much.”

Hanbin ignores him.)

Hanbin decides he’ll take his chances while trying to keep it altogether. He tries to keep his distance but gradually, the distance diminishes.

(“Don’t act all so innocent, Hanbin.”

“Huh, what are you talking about, Jinhwan hyung?”

“Just stop it already.”

“I don’t think I know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re stalling. Eventually, you’ll blow up and it’s either you make it or you make things even worse.”

Hanbin sighs.)

“Hanbin, it’s not working.”

Hayi sits next to Hanbin as soon as both Hongseok and Donghyuk left the room, her eyes filled with concern and frustration. Her hair is all messy in a ponytail and her makeup has already been smudged by the sweat running down her face, and yet Hanbin still finds her pretty.

“I know.”

The moment is short-lived when he realizes he faces a more serious issue. Nothing in his group is working out—Hayi’s and Hongseok’s harmonies do not match and Donghyuk’s a bit off. The pressure is there, and even trying not to break down, is slowly eating him in the inside.

“I can’t believe you’re just letting him. I don’t think he even knows what to do.”

She continues to ramble on but his thoughts are somewhere else. Inappropriately somewhere else like maybe putting his arms around her or kissing her despite everything. Focus, Hanbin. Focus.

“Hayi, I know that.”

He sighs, trying to keep it all together.

“He has to learn—”

“—I get it, Hayi. I—”

“—or else we won’t win. He—”

Or not.

“Hayi, can you please stop?” He explodes, frustrated, but more importantly, pained at the thought of her being so close yet out of reach.  “I know. I know it’s not working. I know it. It never works. It’s my fault. I’ll take the blame, okay? I’ll take it.”

It surprises Hayi, rendering her speechless at his sudden outburst. She looks apologetic and scared.

“H-Hanbin, that’s not what I meant.”

“No. It’s me. I did it. It never really works because of me.”

“I’m not sure we’re on the same page…”

“It’s why you left me, right? It’s why you broke up with me. It’s me.”

“Hanbin, I… I never said that.”

Well, since I’ve started this, let’s just get it over with.

“Then tell me why you left.” He stares at her. “Look at me in the eye and tell me it isn’t my fault you left.”

Blinking, Hayi stammers. “Hanbin, we need to—”

“Tell me.”

She opens to say something but nothing came out. Instead, she averted her gaze and a gloomy expression finally breaks out. Hanbin takes it as a sign to continue.

“Tell me, Hayi, please. I can’t think of any reason why you would leave. And I sure can’t think of any reason to convince myself to move on. I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I never did. You’re everywhere. You’re… you. Every single time, I always try to find you in someone else. It’s always been about you.”

“Hanbin…”

“No, hear me out. I have to say this or else it’ll just consume me from the inside. You are my strength, my pillar of support. You’ve always been that person who’s there every time I fall and you always seem to make me get back on my feet. You see me at my worst yet you treat me the same. You loved me at my best and you loved me more at my worst—how in the world could I ever find someone else like you?”

“It had to happen. You know it had to happen. Eventually. This—us—it was suffocating you. It was for the best now look at you. Look where you’re standing now. It’s a better view up there, don’t you think?”

He doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t really understand. He still doesn’t get it, or he doesn’t need to. Right then and there, with a teary-eyed, vulnerable Hayi in front of him, he’s made his decision.

“It never was.”

He doesn’t give her a chance to respond, or to figure out; he just grabs her by the arms and pulls her against his chest, quickly placing his arms around her in case she ever decides to fight him off. He pulls her closer, tighter, and buries his face in her hair. She squirms for a while, unsure, but gradually gives in. He hears her sniffing quietly and feels her arms snaking around his waist.

He smiles.

He buries his face deeper in her hair just by her neck, delving in that familiar scent of home.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

Hayi inhales.

“I never stopped, Hanbin.”

Every story ends.

Heyyyyy guys! I've decided to do a short sequel of this story after asianauthor gave me a cool idea. I've been thinking about making a sequel, of course, but I've been succumbed into academic works I'm rarely online these days. If I actually am online, I'd probably just check out the updated stories and leave to get busy with uni. 

Anyways the sequel is short and open. I decided I'd make it like that since we never really know what will happen but I can tell you this, this isn't the end of Lee Hi x B.I. ship. This is around Mix & Match season, and it is a bit rushed since the plot bunny decided to bother me around 10PM to 12AM and I couldn't really sleep if I didn't finish writing and I really wanted to sleep because I still have my internship the next day.

Thanks for the support guys it's been nearly 3 years since this started.

Also, to make things more "dramatic" (lmao), I was listening to All I Ask by Adele and Charlie Puth's Some Type of Love while writing this. They all gave me sad feels; hence, the story.

Thank you so much for reading!!!! xxx