Its night,​
A cold night,
I was walking along a street.
Alone...
yeah,alone.
Omma and appa was always busy
Omma...she was 'busy' with another namja.
Appa...as usual,drunk,gamble or whatever.
I don't even wanna know.
they were ! i can't believe i was born as their son!

As for hyungs,
they were busy with their work..
Sometimes i don't even want to bother them,asking them to hang ut with,
they won't even once do that.


I'm useless...
A useless maknae.
Yeah,i'm a maknae.A maknae was supposed to be treat well.
but hell no.i am not.
i am nothing to them.

Nothing...

As for another word,
I'm not existed.
Perfect word for me.Damn it.
I do nothing good for them
seriously..nothing!
Thats the ing reason i'm all alone.


The rain started to fall,
I covered my head with my hoodies and,
keep walking along the street,Without knowing where to go.


My chest felt heavy,
this feeling...
Its suffocating me..
The lump in my throats...i just wanna ignore it but its too hard.
Without knowing,tears starts falling from my eyes,
Damn it,i shouldn't cry.I'm ing .
I tried to stop my tears.But the more i try,the more it falls.
Life is just too silent and hard for me.
I feels...feels like i shouldn't exist here on this earth.
No one cares about me.NO ONE!
NOT EVEN ONE PERSON CARE ABOUT ME!
i never even once feels to be cares and loved..
I feels like i don't even have a family.
Its like i'm invisible to them.



As i am walking,i pass by the skateboard park.
I stop by it.

This place...

Its the place i used to hang out.
Playing skateboard alone.
This place brings me a bit of happiness.
Whenever i feels down,or i can say everyday,
i would came here,
it helps released a bit of my stress.
here too
i met that person.
the first person that smile to me.
That warm gummy smile of his
It made my heart flutter.



flashback


I was playing my skateboards.Practicing my skills for the upcoming competition.I confidently do a flip onmy skateboard.I smiled satisfied of my skills.Then, for more challenging skills,I tried doing double flip.It went smoothly but as i was landing,I lose my balance and falls.A thump can be heard. I winced as it meade my leg hurts a lot.I tried stand up but fails.

Then suddenly,a man came running to me."Gwaenchana? i saw u falls just now."

That deep voice of his,suddenly made my heart flutter.


"n-ne,gwaenchana." asihh,why am i stuttered.


That man checked my legs."You seems injured.Are u sure u are fine?"


"n-ne,i am fine." i tried stand up once again and fails.I winced in pain.


"No.You are not fine kid.Come,lets go to the hospital."he said as he pick me up bridal style.I am shocked.My face feels hot and my heart was beating like crazy."Y-y-YAH! i'm not a girl!"


The man chuckeled a bit."Do u expect to walk when u can't even stand on your own feet kiddo?"My mind when blank when i saw him smile at me.His gummy smile made me blushed like cherry tomato,n my heart beat faster. *what is this feels,i'm not falling for a gut am i?*


"By the way,my name is Yongguk.What is yours kiddo?" he asked as he was walking to his car.

"Z-zelo.I'm zelo." why am i stutters when talking to him?Damn it.

"ahh,nice name zelo.You look cute for a boy."That words made me blush like crazy."o-oh?"
Yongguk chuckled."You are blushing hard right now zelo." "NO! I"M NOT!" 


End of flashback


I smiled as i am reminded of him.
We spend a lot of time together after that incident.
He brings me back my smile.
He is the only person that care n make me laugh.
He is the sweetest and warmest person i ever met,
Those sweet memories...
those memories suddenly reminded me of..
of,that time.
The moment he left me..
He left me...
He left me for his girlfriend.

Flashback

My cell phone rang.I pick it up and smiled seeing Yongguk hyun name on the screen.I immediately answer the call.

"Yoboseyo?JunHong-ahh,can we meet now?"

"oh?right now hyung?wae?"

"You'll know when we meet.Come at the skateboard park.I'm waiting for you"

"Arasseo hyung.I'll be there."

The call ended.I wondered why yongguk hyun wanna meet me this late at night.I pick up my jacket,grab my skateboard and went to the venue.I feel kinda excited when it come of meeting yongguk hyung.I smiled like a pabo as i was riding.

As i reached there,i immediately search for yongguk hyung.My eyes falls on a goodlooking man.I smiled.And my smile dissapear as i saw a yeoja beside him.She was quite pretty.Suddenly i feels my anger was rushing up.

"ahh!Junhong is here.Say hi jagiya"

"Annyeong JunHong-ahh."

Jagiya?? yongguk hyung has a girlfriend??

"Annyeong" i said to her with poker face.

"JunHong-ahh,i called you here because i want to tell you that i will have to leave for Japan."

I was shocked by his word.It feels like my heart was broken ike a broken glass.

"W-wae hyung??wae u wanna leave me??".Tears a welling in my eyes.

He sighed."I can't tell you why JunHong-ahh.I.."

"WHY HYUNG?! WHY YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME TOO? I HAD NO ONE HERE AND NOW YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME?! YOU CAN"T TELL ME THE REASON?ITS OBVIOUS THAT YOU ARE LEAVING WITH THIS YEOJA RIGHT?!" my tears start to falls.Me self was shocked that i said that to hyung.

Yongguk hyung looks really shocked.maybe because i never been this angry to him before."A-ani Junhong-ahh.."his words was cutted by me.

"I like you hyung. Your the first person that cared about me. I had no one else beside you hyung.Whenever you are around.I just feels happy and relaxed.Please hyung..don't leave me alone."I looks in his eyes while saying that and Yongguk hyung just stand there not knowing what to say.

"J-j-Junhong-ahh...I don't know.."

Then suddenly his words was cutted by Jieun."We are gonna get married.He is mine and he is not a gay.I don't like you being with him all the time so i deide i should thake yongguk far away from you.We'll be leaving for Osaka tomorrow.".Jieun smirk.That evil smirk of her.

With that.She took Yongguk with her an leave.All i could do was watch hyung leave with her.

End of flashback

That bastard.
He left me,
Just like that...
I never met him again after that incident..
He left me for that girl,
The only guy that made me smile..
He will only remain as memories.
He probably married her and live happily.

My tears start falling again.
I can't handle this feeling anymore..
This feeling..
Its not my ilness that made me like this
I...I..just feels empty,
I need something to fil this empty feeling,
Something...
Something that was called love..

Yes..
Thats it.love..
I need love..
Thats my last wish.
My last wish that will never be granted.
I wanted to be loved..
My last wish,
Before my 'time' comes..


My vision starts going blurry,
Everything around me seems to have melted.
I began to felt pain,
I winced in pain,
holding my temple,
then,the pain starts controlling me.

My bosy felt numbs,
My head starts spinning like crazy,
Damn it.I hate this.
I tried to stary on my feet.
BUt i can't..
My knees hit the floor.

I can't move my leg,
Not even a finger,
I tried to stand up,but i failed,
And ended up fall on the wet street.

I lay flat on my back,the rain is hitting my face
My bosy felt damn terrible,
I knew its time,
My last moment is here,
Here on this street.

I  air into my lungs,but choke on it,
I cough and shake and try to catch my breathe again.
The air fills my lungs regularly as i draw small shallow breathes.

Its freezing,
My body is shivering,
Maybe because of the rain
I just endured it and
wait for the time to come.

Wait,
I hear voice.
A deep voice,someone is yelling,
calling for..
Me?

Am i hearing things now?
No
I'm sure i'm not.
I could feel the floor vibrate,
Someone is running,
And it feels as that person is headong towards me,
but..
Who?
Who could it be?
Who could have search for me this late at night?
There is no one that cared for me enough to search for me this kate at night..
No one..

My head drops to the side,
Its hurts to keep it straight.
Then,
I felt me head was lift up,
I open my eyes..I tried to open my eyes,
I wanna know who's the one here,
But..
All i can see is a blurry guy image holding a red thing.
I guess that was umbrella
since its raining.
Its hard to tell who is it,
because its too dark,too dark to tell who..

My breathe started to get shallower
I felt my heart is like going to burst!
Its pumping liek crazy,and my head hurts.
I scream in pain.

The guy is shaking me now,
He is forcing me to open my eyes,

I tried focusing on the figure in front of me,
And..
I saw a familiar face.
That face looks worried sick,
The face that once brings me happiness..

Yongguk hyung...
w-what a-are you d-doing here?

He is saying something,but i can't hear him.

H-hyung,t-talk louder.

I can't talk anymore,
It made me tired and my breathe got shallower,
Its hard to breathe

Suddenly,i felt warm despite the cold weather.
I felt a pair of arm hugging me.
It feels nice,
really nice.
Hyung is hugging me..
Hyung..

Then hyung release the hug.
My head went super dizzy n hurts a lot.
I winced in pain.
A pair of hand gently put my head on his lap
Then i felt a soft,mosit feels on my lips.

H-Hyung..

Did he just kiss me?
Am i dead yet?
It feels wonderfull,
For the first time in 18 years of my life,
I felt warm,
I felt like my empty feelings was filled,
filled bu hyung's love..

I barely smile at him,
But..
He doesn't smile back.
He's shaking me and i felt dizzy again
My eyes feels heavy and about to fall shut again
But..
I wanna see him,
For the last time..

I tried concetrate on focusing my eyes
I could see hyung for a merely second,
He seems despaired and shocked
Maybe becausthe condition i am in.

Mianhae hyung..nan..saranghae..

The rain has stoppes,my eyes falls shut again,
I can hear the sound of my heart throbbing faint and uneven
My body felt numb and heavy
I'm tired,
I feel like sleeping
I know..
I would sleep forever later
But it doesn't matter,
My wish has been granted
My last wish.

then,
i felt a warm liquid drop on my fuffy cheecks,

Is it raining h-hyung?
H-hyung..i'm tired..
S-saranghae hyung..

At this moment,only the sound of the rain can be heard.
Yes~onlt the rain sound and nothing more left.
Except...
The warm memories...

Author'sNote: There goes my first fic i ever posted here ^^ How is it? Hope you enjoyed it.A comment would really made my day (^w^)~ So subscribe and leave a comment alright? Thanks lovelies~

Lots of Love,

onlyblueZELOver