December 24, the day before Christmas.

I'm feeling nervous. I have no idea what to say in front of this beautiful creature. Am I really confessing right now? I sighed, be brave Sulli. "Oppa, I like you." I blurted out those words, and starts to avoid making eye contact with him. He froze right there on the spot, was he that surprise? I mean, who wouldn't? A freshmen confessing to a senior. I waited for his response, my heart was beating faster than those time when I hang out with him.

"Sulli-ah. I appreciate it that you're so brave confessing to me, but.." He looked at me with those sincere eyes of him, "I'm sorry. I just can't like -like you." he added, and by that I officially hated buts. I pictured this scenario before but I didn't know it would hurt that much. "I know someone deserves you better. It's just that I can't really." He added, I was sad enough with the buts but the last words made me even sadder, this guy is so insensitive.

I was running fast, away from that stupid park. I didn't care about the people I've bumped with. Right now, I just felt like crying, this pain in my chest. I can't take it anymore. Tears started to fall into my cheeks, I didn't even notice where my feet was leading me.

I ended up waiting at my bestfriend's all boys school. It was almost dark, he said he can go out in their dorm cause it's Holiday. Liar. Where is he now then? It made me the saddest person just thinking about it. "Yah! Choi Sulli!" A deep voice that ringed throughout the place can be heard, a guy called me, I immediately look at the person calling me, "Yah! Park Chanyeol!" I gritted my teeth, preventing my tears before they betray me. "Have you been crying? Did something happen? What's wrong with you?" He throwed me a lot of questions I just couldn't answer. "You better tell me young lady." Chanyeol sounded so serious with those words. "Oppa." I looked at him and started to sob.

December 25, Christmas Day

Crying on Christmas day has never been good to me. My friends said confessing in Christmas day or before that or even after that was a great thing, lies. "Come on Sul! Don't cry anymore. It's frustrating me!" Park Chanyeol, my lovely bestfriend tried his best in comforting me. "How can I?! Luhan oppa just rejected me!" I sobbed once again, and started crying like a baby. "He's no good! Just forget about him alright?" He smiled at me, I stared at him looking hopeful. "But still! I ca--" I was cut off by Chanyeol, who shoved a chocolate heart shape on my mouth, "There, there. Stop crying and start eating. Seriously! Why are you always like this? Just let him be. I'm always here, so smile." He wiped the tears on my cheeks, I forcefully smiled at him. "And you look so ugly crying." He then started to sing Infinite's Can you smile. And from those words, my smile became real and that's the time I've realized. I love him.

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"Oi! Are you daydreaming again?" Someone shouted behind my back, I blinked and turned around to see that person, Park Chanyeol. "Oh. It's you." I eyed him from head to toe "Where are you going?" I asked him since his clothes tells me that he's going somewhere. "How's my scarf and coat?" He asked me back, "It's great. You look good." I answered, back in those days, he was the one who had a great fashion sense. "So, where are you going really?" I asked again, "Are you sure?" He ignored me again, what's up with him?

"Yeol. Is something wrong?" He looked uneasy. "Well.. It's just that, what were you thinking earlier? You were spacing out." He told me, he worries too much. "I was thinking about last year's Christmas, the Luhan thing." I said and he nearly got choke on his own food, "Pft. I told you to enter an all girl's school you know. Being in a boy's school is awesome!" Chanyeol stick his tongue out and I glared at him, but I can't deny the cuteness that's in his face.

He was preparing to leave when I notice, he still hasn't answered my question. "Yah Park Chanyeol! Where are you going?" He stop his way, "Are you going on a date?!" I sounded mad, I covered my mouth but he only smiled. "Just a guys night out. I'll be back at 11." He said, I glance at the clock and blinked, "But Chanyeol... It's 10:30 p.m" I laughed, he facepalmed "Just.. I'll be back before Christmas alright? Help yourself with the food. I got to go! Bye!" He then ran before I could even say a word. And suddenly, everything went silent. I sighed, "It's not fun when you're not here." 

I turned off the t.v and looked at the clock again, it says 1 a.m. I bit my lips, what's up with Chanyeol and his friends. Am I not that important to him anymore? I decided to just go to sleep and maybe scold him when he arrives. I have no choice, I don't control his life, I just hope he's not dating anyone.

I woke up late and observed my surroundings, still no sign of Chanyeol. I got out of Chanyeol's bedroom, being an only child with your parents abroad has disadvantage and some advantages. This is one of my advantages. I saw him on the living room, sleeping on a couch. I went to him and squat down, I stared at his face. "Merry Christmas Chanyeol." I said and poke his nose, his eyes suddenly shut open and I quickly stood up.

"Good morning Sul! Merry Christmas!" He greeted me with a happy face. Did he notice or did he not? "You seemed happy. What happened last night?" I asked him coldly. "About that... I'm sorry. They didn't let me out until 3 a.m." He looks so cute when sulking. "Park Chanyeol. Are you even human?" I blurted out. "What?" He asked me, he looks confuse. "What? I didn't say anything. You should eat. I'm gonna go to the bath--" The bathroom door opened before I could even say anything and a beautiful girl came out.

"Hi!" She greeted me, I froze there. Who is she?! "Who are you?! Why are you here?!" Is this the girl Chanyeol's dating?! "Hold on Sulli. She's my friend. She passed out during the party." He explained, my eyes were burning. "But you said GUYS night out!" I said to him, "She decided to tag along alright! Stop making this a big issue. Yuri noona, I'm so sorry." Chanyeol bowed to her. "I'm not making this a big issue Yeol! What I'm saying is you lied. End of discussion. I'm leaving!" I shouted and stormed out of his house. 

How can my Christmas be this bad?! I was walking to some places which I was unfamiliar with, making myself calm and happy. I even bought all kinds of chocolate. "This is the new way for him to realize his mistakes!" I shouted while sitting at a bench and eating chocolates. My phone keeps on ringing, I took it out. "Yes?! Stop calling me! I'm on a bad mood whoever you are!" I waited for the caller's answer but it went off. "Aish! You stupid prank caller! I'm gonna kill you if I'll ever know who you are!" I cursed at my phone.

It was about 8 p.m and still no snow. So I decided to go to Gangnam. I saw Baekhyun, a friend of Chanyeol. "Hey Baek!" He looked a bit surprise to see me, well we're not that close. He must have felt awkward. "What are you doing here Sulli? Are you following Chanyeol?" He asked me, I glared at him before laughing. "What?! No way, I'm not following Chanyeol. We're currently in a war. I didn't even know he was here." He's here? Heh. I better leave then. He didn't say anything, "Anyway! I'll be going now. I don't wanna see his stinking face." I walked and wave at Baekhyun to say goodbye but bumped someone else.

Luhan. He was bowing so many times, he doesn't recognize me? "It's okay. No need to bow." I said, he looked up at me while bowing. "Oh! Sulli-shi!" He smiled at me, I smiled back awkwardly. "Hey Sulli! Are you okay? Oh hey Luhan!" Baekhyun went to us. Wait what. They knew each other? "You guys. Are you friends?" I asked the two of them. "Well yes. We all met when I went to an all boys school and continued my studies there as a college student. Why?" Luhan said, I blinked. "So if you knew Baekhyun. Then you must have met Chanyeol right?" He nodded with a smile. "They're pretty close to each other." Baekhyun added. "I have to go." I left them and ran.

Chanyeol lied. Chanyeol lied. Chanyeol lied. I was wiping my tears when Chanyeol called. I answered him. "What is it?" I asked him, "Sul? Are you crying? I'm sorry. I'm in Gangnam right now. Baekhyun told me, I'm sorry I--" I turned off my phone. How can he lie to me? The one I love, whom I thought I knew lied to me.

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I was near my house when I notice a car on the gate. Chanyeol got out of the front seat, I hid behind the lamp post. I heard another door open, he's not alone. I took a peek, my eyes widen, I blinked for many times, did my eyes deceived me? I held my chest. Why does it hurt? I sat down, these tears. They're betraying me again. I heard an engine starts, the car pass by me and I saw the person driving. I lowered my head and cried.

My heart feels like it's been shattered. I continued crying there, "Sulli?" I looked up and saw Chanyeol. "Chanyeol! Am I that clingy?!" I asked him, "What? No. You're not." He said and sat beside me. "Oppa." I said and sobs, "You only call me oppa when there's something wrong." He chuckled. "Am I a burden to you? Why am I always a burden to the people I love?" He seemed pretty shock when I asked him that. "No Sul. What are you saying?" I smirked, "Oppa. I saw everything. Why are you acting like nothing's happening? Oppa! Can't you see that I like you so much?!" I shouted at him and wipe my tears using my wrist. 

"Look! Sul. I don't like you that way. You're like a sister to me." Sister. I hate that word. "But what you're doing is completely different to what a brother should do!" I said, "It's because you like me that's why you think of that way." He calmly told me and wipe my tears, I slapped his hand. "This is exactly the reason why I like you. This things you're doing! Why are you here on my house anyway?! Just leave me alone!" I stood up but he pulled me into a hug.

I cried. That's the only thing I'm good at. "This will all be okay Sulli." He said, I pushed him. "Oppa! I understand that you don't like me! But why does it have to be a guy?! Why does it have to be Luhan?! Why can't you like a girl instead of him?!" I blurted out, he only sighed. "Luhan is a nice guy Sulli." "No need to explain! I know that already! I did like him. How can you be so selfish Chanyeol? You could have at least told me that." I looked at him. "Listen. Your eyes look puffy. Let's go home." He was about to grab my arm but I managed to avoid it. "No! Stop thinking that I'm a baby. I can do things on my own. You should just go. I don't need you." With that, I ran into my house.

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Me and Chanyeol hasn't talk for over a year now, things ended up that day. So much things were left unclear. I have no plans on clearing it anyway. Thinking about those memories still hurts, heck it's not even December moreover not Christmas right now. Sometimes, I see Chanyeol with Luhan in some various places. I would hide and cry. 

END