Nodus Tollens: 

n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.

Chapter three – Apple seeds

   Tiffany pushed open the heavy glass door as a bell went off in her ear, right above her. She looked around and the constant ticking’s seemed to resonate with her heart somehow.

A smile etched across her face, reaching high up to her eyes. “Excuse me sir.”

The cheek bones that belonged to a short man with a curly mustache raised upon seeing this disheveled looking girl in front of him. He had once appeared like that. “Yes, may I help you with something?” So curious and outrageously lost in the wonders of the world. He knew that appearance well.

    “Yes.” Tiffany nodded, “I’m looking for a watch.” She paused, placing her finger on the tip of her chin. “One that works.”

He chuckled, the mustache above his lip tickling his skin. “Why would I show you one that doesn’t work?”

Tiffany shrugged. She walked up to him as he stood behind his counter. Clocks of all sorts surrounding him in a sort of timeless way. She rested her head on the palms of her hands looking up at him.

    “Some people can really be deceiving, don’t cha know?”

------ 

Cue Rainy mood (Keep at a Low volume) 

    Tiffany felt the new added weight on her wrist. It ticked away and away as her shoes gathered the misguided rain droplets. The watch on her wrist read, 6:46pm. The moment her eyes fluttered open in the early morning that Monday she knew she wasn’t going to step foot in school for the rest of the week. And it was true, she didn’t.

Because what was the point in learning. If her mind was elsewhere.

Tiffany held the handle of her umbrella tightly. The rain fell lightly today and she wasn’t sure if she enjoyed that. She liked it when it rained extra hard to where she couldn’t see three feet in front of her. To where she wasn’t sure if she was heading the right way home. Secretly she hoped she got lost. That’d make for a great misadventure she thought. The light outside was dimming and the rain had started to pick up as Tiffany balanced herself along a brick wall. She sighed hopping off. Today was a boring day. Because today she had skipped her routine and she couldn’t figure out why, so suddenly, breakfast, shower, work and back home had seemed so—bland to her. The bricks beneath her feet were an ugly brown as she made her way up the steep hill. Roses bloomed on each side of the road, with a few yellow daises here and there. Then she stopped in her tracks. “Apples.” She shook her head spinning around heading back to the busy street markets.

     “Everybody loves apples.”

------

   “Actually, I’m allergic.” Tiffany frowned, shifting the weight of the bag of apples to the other arm.

    “But,” She said “But, you’d like apples if you weren’t allergic right?”

Taeyeon wondered why Tiffany was still standing in the rain after she offered for her to come inside. She wondered what Tiffany was doing there, she wondered why she wasn’t at school the entire week and she wondered how apples tasted like.

    “Of course.” Taeyeon gave her a warm smile, “I think. Now how about you come inside. It’s cold out there.” Tiffany nodded, setting the apples down by Taeyeon’s front door as she entered. She looked lost and wandering, like a child. It was odd, because Tiffany had reminded Taeyeon of a child. A really grown up and pretty child.

   “I like the cold.” With her eyes darting all over Taeyeon’s living room Tiffany shuddered. “I like it a lot. The way it makes me feel.”

Taeyeon watched Tiffany’s moist fringe fall over her eyes before she pursed her lips to speak, “Cold?” she asked. Tiffany was such a puzzle.

    “Numb.” She got in return. Taeyeon could understand that, she could get it. But what did Tiffany want to be numbed from? Is what she was really thinking.

Sometimes Taeyeon liked to feel numb too.

   “Oh.”

    “So I got a new wristwatch.” The soft gold trinket around her wrist shone under Taeyeon’s soft lights. “Now I can actually say that no one is dying on my watch because it works. It’s a working watch.” Taeyeon let out a soft laugh. Tiffany was warm despite liking the cold. It was weird to Taeyeon. She didn’t really know anything at all about her but it felt like Tiffany had been her bestfriend her entire life. It felt that way.

    “It looks great…” Taeyeon nodded not really paying attention at all to the watch, only witnessing Tiffany examine it up close. She was so intrigued by it. Exactly like a child.

    “Of course it does.” Looking back up at her Tiffany snapped her fingers, tapping on her chin. “That’s why a bought it. I look super cool. Don’t I?”

Taeyeon chuckled again, “Yeah.” She breathed out. “You do.”

It never occurred to her that Tiffany was sad on the inside. She was weird but Tiffany never struck her as sad. But in that moment she swore she saw her eyes beneath her fringe flicker. With an unbearable sorrow.

Taeyeon was too much of a coward to ask. So she smiled.

See no evil, speak no evil.

    “Wanna go for a walk?”  Taeyeon asked, already almost standing up predicating Tiffany’s answer but Tiffany only shook her head.

    “Are you lonely Taeyeon?” the words slipping off Tiffany’s tongue found its way beneath Taeyeon’s skin. She never thought about it. Whether she was lonely or not. Surely she wasn’t entirely alone but lonely had such another meaning she really couldn’t quite grasp yet. Because if she had, if she did. That would be it. She would be lonely Taeyeon. What else would define her?

    “I don’t know.” Taeyeon never really had words trailing behind her like a shadow. That could fit into the mold that defined her. “Why?” She asked, suddenly she felt weighed down by one word. One word that acted like an anchor for her being and everything that she was.

Tiffany shrugged, “No reason.” She said, “I just wanted to know if we had anything in common.”

Anything in common…

Tiffany to Taeyeon—was a puzzle.

------  

   “So why weren’t you at school all week?” Taeyeon watched as Tiffany munched on her first apple. Silently sitting down on her couch with her legs tucked under her body. Tiffany looked like a ball of human emotions at this moment. With her pink hoodie covering almost every inch of her.

    “I didn’t feel like going.” Tiffany sighed, shaking her head a little as her fringe jiggled and swayed. Taeyeon frowned.

    “Why not?” she asked. That Monday Taeyeon entered class with a pain-stricken expression. Because Tiffany was not sitting by the window, whispering something under her breath. And just like that—something that was comfortably familiar to her was taken away. Tiffany shrugged in reply, eating her apple. Still, that wasn’t good enough for Taeyeon.

    “Is it because it was raining extra hard this week?” Taeyeon wondered aloud as she looked away. “The forecast did say it wasn’t going too. But I guess even they make mistakes.” Tiffany took the bowl that was in front of her, obnoxiously spitting out an apple seed from .

Taeyeon had never seen apple seeds.

    “No.” Tiffany said. “That’s not why.”

Taeyeon couldn’t take her eyes off the apple seed that glistened under the florescent lights of her house.

    “I just didn’t feel like going is all.” Tiffany paused, grabbing another apple to eat. “My mind has been somewhere else.”

    “Where?” Taeyeon tore her eyes away from the bowl for a second, to witness Tiffany biting into her apple with a loud crunch.

    “I couldn’t tell you.” Tiffany replied almost immediately, “I don’t really even know myself.”

Oh.

Taeyeon sat there wondering again about how apples tasted like. watered at the thought. “Tiffany?” the girl swallowed before looking at her, “What do apples taste like?”

    Her fringe lifted and swopped away with the motion of Tiffany’s sudden movements. Taeyeon chuckled, Tiffany almost looked really happy.  “I’m glad you asked!” she breathed out, “Apples are my second favorite fruit to strawberries. They’re round and they’re red and taste like…” Tiffany’s voice quietly trailed off. “They taste like… like.” She sat up straight with her eyebrows furrowed, her lips creasing into a straight thin line were it almost became difficult to the air through her nostrils. “Okay so, when you walk into a grocery store and you walk pass the apples aisle you’ll read the descriptions right? Like how’d they taste like if you bit into them, some would say ‘Carmel sweatiness’ or ‘Floral crunch.’” She paused, “You might be surprised. If it’s your first time seeing it, having never tasted apple. You might even be skeptical. It might even, make you want to bite into that apple just for the hell of it, who wouldn’t want a Carmel fruity floral taste swimming along your taste buds?” Tiffany wagged her finger side to side in front of Taeyeon. “But don’t be deceived my secret admirer. Apples do not, and I repeat do not! Taste like candy or flowers. It’s kind of pretentious if you think about it, apples taste like well,” she paused giving Taeyeon a smile, “Apples.” Tiffany sighed slumping back into the couch, “But we still want to play along with the fun game and try the different flavors of apples just to see if it’s anything like descripted. Which ten out of ten times it’s not.” The look on Taeyeon’s face seemed rather disappointed as her lips tugged deep into the slightest frown. “But with that being said, Apples are sweet.” Tiffany held up her half eaten one in the air. “They’re sweet and some can be sour. They’re delicious and crisp to the very crunch when you bite into them. They’re juicy and the skin has an almost leafy taste.” Tiffany seemed to lose her breath in between her ramblings. Taeyeon guessed she got that way whenever she talked about something she really liked. “But what I like about apples is that they’re weird. In a good way. They symbolize life you know? The cycle of life and death. You have this beautiful looking ripe apple in front of you.” Tiffany managed to pick another unbitten apple up as she studied it. “And then you bite into it and it’s sweet, then you get to the middle and it has these black ugly seeds.” She looked up at Taeyeon, “But without them the apples couldn’t grow. You know?”

All Taeyeon wanted to know was how the apples tasted like.

    “That’s what I like about apples.”

But she got much more, so much more of Tiffany instead.

------