a/n; this font for flashback. also listen to this song when you read this.

I took a glance at the empty desk beside me. I smiled at the empty desk.

Our memories are still there.

Hoseok interwined his fingers with Jungkook, and both of them were smiling. They knew they loved each other so much.

Your warm hand against mine, your fascinating scent, your beautiful smile.

I found myself no longer smiling and my tears just fell like that. I cried at the empty desk.

You were there.

“Please look at me!”

Hoseok just smiled and looked straight into Jungkook’s eyes. “I look at you now!”

Jungkook giggled and pecked Hoseok’s lips. Then they were smiling at each other.

I still can feel you, that you are here.

I tried to speak like you. I tried to smile like you. I tried to resemble you. How can you keep smiling even though your condition wasn’t good?

“Don’t go!” Jungkook held Hoseok’s hand tightly. He tried to hold onto him, not letting him go, even once.

“I’m always here, Jungkook-ah!”

I knew one day you would gone and never come back again. But I didn’t know that it would came so fast.

I wish you were here and wiped my flowing tears.

I sat on the piano’s chair and looked at the grand piano.

We often spent our times together here, while you would play a romantic song to me.

I played the song that he loved to played everytime we were here.

“You played this song really well!” Hoseok smiled and ruffled Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook also smiled at Hoseok.

I didn’t know you would make me resembling you every single day.

I found myself no longer smiling. I pounded the piano’s keys angrily and it produced a horrible sound. I was crying, longing for you.

“Hoseok hyung! Ppali! It’s going to rain now!” Hoseok just smiled and held Jungkook’s hand tightly.

“Whatever with the rain!” Later, it was raining heavily and they were walking in the rain, hand in hand. They looked at each other and all of the sudden, Hoseok leaned closer and he kissed Jungkook’s lips, in the rain.

I touched my lips. It was sweet, but I won’t feel that sweetness anymore.

Because you’re not here. You’re not here.... anymore.

I didn’t know why I still feel that you’re here. I didn’t know why I feel like I can feel you.

I still feel you, I feel you, I feel you.

It was feel like you were here. Your shadow still remained here, and I felt like a fool, who can’t erase you from my mind. Because you are a part of my life. A special part of my life.

“Hyung, look at me!”

“What?” asked Hoseok while ruffling the younger’s hair.

“I just feel like... I’ve been inspired by you and I feel like I resembling you.”

“Really?! How can?”

“I don’t know. The way you stay strong despite your condition, it’s just somehow inspired me.”

Hoseok just smiled and rested his head on Jungkook’s shoulder.

I realized how much I resembled you, because you brought such a big influence in my life, you brought love to my hopeless life.

Thank you, Hoseok hyung.

Jung Hoseok. The named that I never forget. And it was the beautiful name I ever heard.

“Jeon Jungkook!”

The way he called my name. I really liked it. But, my name that you always call was sleeping here and it wouldn’t wake up anymore.

I miss you, hyung.

Today I met Hoseok hyung’s mom because she asked me to met. I didn’t know why she wanted to met me, but in the end, I decided to met her.

And she asked me to met because she wanted to give me a box from Hoseok hyung. And here I am with that box.

I opened the box and I found so many photos of us and Hoseok hyung’s journal.

I read the journal, and most of it was about our relationship, how happy he was when we were together, and how thankful he was because I was in his side when he was fighting his hard time with his sickness.

I’m so thankful, because Jungkook never leave me, even though I’m so sick like this and I feel my last time is going to come any time.

I love you, Jungkook-ah. Very much.

I can’t help it but cried when I read that journal. Of course I won’t leave you, you pabo! And I love you too, very much.

I found the entry that I was reading earlier is the last entry from Hoseok hyung. I opened the last page and I found a letter in the journal. I opened it and started to read it.

To Jungkook-ie, my love,

How are you? I hope you’re fine, even though I’m not here anymore. I knew I have been such a bad guy these days. My body’s condition is getting sicker and sicker each day, especially these days, and because of that, I’ve been such a bad guy for you.

I know I’m the one who should accompany you when you’re alone and lonely, instead of accompany me when I’m sick like this. I know I’m the one who should hold your hand instead of holding my hand. I know you should have fun out there instead accompany your bad boyfriend in an all-white ugly room called hospital. I know it all.

I want you to smile instead of crying when you read this letter. I don’t want to see your crying face from above. And I want you to know that I always love you even though I can’t stay in your side anymore.I’m sorry for being sick like this but... I love you.

Thank you for making my hopeless and dying three years of mine became beautiful because of you, Jungkook-ah. I’m glad I met you.Thank you, Jungkook-ah, for everything.

The one who will always love you,

Jung Hoseok.

Thank you too, hyung, for found me and willing to spent your three years with me, and made my days beautiful each day. And, I will always love you too, hyung.

a/n;

i'm back! sorry for making you waiting so long! i promised i'll write a chunjoe fic but instead of that, i decided to write an angst fic~

this time is junghope (jhope and jungkook) because i like bts so much and i like this otp too~

i'm afraid this is not angsty enough. i'm not that good at angst but i decided to challenge myself to write an angsty one.

and i want to tell you this is maybe the last fic from me because i'll went hiatus from next week until april next year, because of exams that i'll take as a qualification to graduate from high school, and it's so friggin hell, that's why i need to take hiatus. i hope you understand me ^^

and, listen to Jin's song, Gone, when you read this. because this story was inspired from that song~

the last, enjoy~