Tired you opened your eyes. Still tired you yawned and looked around for him. He wasn't their. A sigh escaped your lips. It was always like that. You went to bed alone and woke up alone. Sometimes you even asked yourself if he actually came home. Of course he was busy and you knew when he aske you out that it wouldn't be easy. It was never easy, but to be together with an idol was even harder. You always had to keep your relationship as a secret, or it could ruin his image. Everything he worked for would be ruined, it was just so hard to lie to so many people. Yes, your parents and your nearest friends knew about it, but it just wasn't the same. On the other hand you also where scared what his fans would do i they find out. Hyunseung always told you that you shouldn't worry about that. That they would love you, but it just wasn't the right time. From time to time you wuld ask him why, but he would look away and say he wanted to have enough saving before this and he also had to think about the other members.

Through the three years you where together it always was like this. You learned to be patient with him, but sometimes you really felt invisble. Like he wasn't even looking at you or cared for you. At times like that, you would remember the day when Hyunseung and Hyuna formed Troublemaker and he didn't even told you about it. How you fought about that and you stormed out on the streets to an good friends. You stayed there for almost three weeks and he didn't even bothered to call you. At this time you really thought it was over, until he suddenly stood for the frontdoor of your best friends house. He told you he was sorry and looked so sad that you couldn't do anything else then falling into his arms. Hyunseung kissed you with all his love and a few tears where in your eyes. He made them disappeard, took your hand and drove together with you to his dorm. Not only the Beast members where sitting in the living room, also Hyuna. You wanted to turn around, but she took your hand and pulled you into another room. Their you both talked for sometime and she promised oyou that she didn't love him and supported you too. As you both came back you saw the look in Hyunseungs eyes as he saw you. He seemed to be happy that you stayed.

Enough of thinking for today, you decided. After all you had to work today. So you made your way to the bedroom and changed into your working clothes. Then you took your back an leaved the house. Like every other day you bought something to eat on your way to work. You would always eat in your first break. As a elemantary school teacher you had a few regulary breaks after all. The day went by quit fast and you wanted to make your way back home as your phone vibrated. A new message. From Hyunseung. A smiled formed on your lips hoping for something positiv or just a little nice message.

I'm sorry Jagiya.

I can't come home for dinner. I will make it up. I promise!

Love you.

Sadely you took your bag and moved through the streets to your apartment. You opened your door and made your way to the couch. After turning on the TV, you searched for an interesting programm so that you could get him out of your mind. You had to do something for your students later and you wanted to get it done soon, but with him in your mind it was too hard.