I tossed in my bed left and right, for the nth time I let out a sigh. I am getting married tomorrow and I was damn nervous, freaking out even. The weeks leading up to the wedding day were hectic, to say the least. I never really had a moment to let the magnitude of the event sink in…until now.

I grabbed my ipod on top of my side table and placed the earpiece on both my ears, playing a bunch of piano instrumentals to calm my nerves. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to shut myself from the world. “Aish!!! This is not working!” I hissed and harshly took the earpiece away from ears and tossed my ipod onto the bed.

I stared at the ceiling mindlessly, and my mind wandered of various thoughts. I thought of all the people that will come tomorrow to see me getting married. I thought of the love in my parent’s eyes as they watch their daughter walking down the aisle, my hands looped around my father’s arm. And, at that moment, I thought of Jiyong, my best friend, the person I loved more than anyone else, and the man that I was going to marry tomorrow. I grinned giddily as I thought of him standing at the end of the aisle with his handsome features, strong and confident, giving me a reassuring smile.

I thought of our journey together that led us to this point in time. The push and pull, the challenges that we have encountered that almost broke us apart but in the end kept us together, standing side by side, stronger than ever. I thought of all our sacrifices to protect each other, the tears, the pain, the laughter.  

Our relationship was no way near perfection. We had our share of petty fights, misunderstandings, jealousy, and whatnots. There was a time that it came to a point that we needed to be apart from each other to find ourselves and reflect on what we really want, to ask ourselves if we really have what it takes to keep our relationship going. But in the end, we didn’t last long and came running back to each other’s arms.

Tomorrow is another new chapter in our lives, a new set of challenges that we have to overcome and I wonder if we will ever make it. I wonder if we have enough strength to face them. I wonder if we are really ready for this.

I felt a shiver down my spine as I think of it, no, I’m not having seconds of marrying Jiyong, I will never doubt it, since I met him I knew then that he’s the one for me, but I’m scared. After tomorrow, we are no longer playing, after tomorrow, we are now facing the real thing, and I don’t know if I will be able to keep up with expectations the people around us will ask me.

Soon, Jiyong and I will start a new family of our own, will I be able to keep the role of a good wife to my husband?  Will I be able to satisfy him? Will I be able to keep a house that is clean and well organized...homey? Will I be able to raise our children like our parents raised us? Will I be able to be a good mother? Will Jiyong be proud of me to be his wife? Will I be able to take care of my own family? Will our friends and families be able to give me a thumbs up for a job well done?

‘Ahh…why am I being like this” I whined before turning on the side away from the door. I shook my head violently, trying to erase such thoughts in my head. I wanted to slap myself mentally for having them at the night of my wedding. I’m feeling unusually emotional or overly sentimental and I know I’m not supposed to be this way, especially at this time. “Maybe I’m just missing him…”I tried to convinced myself. Well it’s true that I am, I haven’t seen him since yesterday, it has been a tradition with our families to spend a couple of days apart from each other before the wedding. We’ve been so used being together every single day and not seeing each other for a couple of days felt like years for me.

Maybe, that was it.

A shocked gasp escaped my lips the moment that I felt a body presses against me and an arm firmly placed on my waist. “It’s me baby” Jiyong whispered in my ear. I felt my body relaxed upon hearing his voice and smelling his manly scent, a mixture of him, bath soap and aftershave. I closed my eyes finally feeling his warmth.

My eyes snapped open when realization hit me “Jiyong!”  I squealed.  “What in the world are you doing here?  You know we’re not supposed to see each other!” I said sternly.

I tried to peel away from his embrace but he only tightened his hold on me. “We’re not seeing each other, if you haven’t noticed its pitch black in here” He said.

“Even in the dark I know you’re smirking at me” I rolled my eyes and pouted and Jiyong let out a chuckle. “Our moms will so gonna kill us both if they found out…” I said wiggling myself free.

“Aish..stop moving so much, you’re hitting a very sensitive spot you know”

“Yah!!!”

“Unless you want to have a honeymoon now then I suggest you stop moving and stay still”

“Stop it! You !” I said slapping the arm that was firmly planted on my waist and he laughed lightly “Aishh…fine, since were technically not seeing each other, cuddle with me till I fall asleep?”

“I would love to” Jiyong said spooning behind me. “You know, tomorrow is going to be the second best of my life”

“Second best?” I asked confused.

“Yeah…the best day of my life was you agreeing to marry me” He mumbled against my ear.

We were engulfed with comfortable silence, both on our own deep thoughts “What are you thinking?” He asked, nudging me lightly.

“N-Nothing…” I stuttered. There is no way I’m going to tell him what’s been running on my mind. “You?”

“I’m scared’ He said truthfully.

“Wae?”

“I don’t know if I will be able to be a good husband to you, if I will be able to be a great father to our future kids, if I will be able to discipline them and still be a cool dad to them, I don’t know if will be able to take care of our own family like how my dad took care of us…I don’t know…I wanted to give you the best and I’m worried if I fail…”

“Hey…” I gently brush my hand on his arm “You don’t have to worry about that…Jiyong…you’re a good man, I am happy with everything that you’re doing and you’ve done for me, I’m not asking you to be the perfect husband, nobody is perfect…to be honest I’m scared too, like you, I don’t know if I will be able to be a good wife to you and a mother to our future children…”

“You’re going to be one because you’re a good woman” He said, planting a soft peck on my cheek.

“Only because I have a good man by my side” I smiled cheekily. I turned around to face him before slowly finding his face with my hands. “I love you Jiyong.” I whispered lovingly.

“I love you more than ever “His dark form leaned in closer to me, and I closed my eyes as I waited for his lips to meet his and kissed him passionately. “We’re going to be okay” He whispered after we pulled away from our kiss.

“We are” I whispered back before cuddling my face into the crook of his neck. I felt my nerves finally calmed as sleepiness took over me.

 My heart, my mind and my soul is finally at peace.

I couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come and begin the new chapter my life as Kwon Jiyong’s wife. 

A/N

Well..uhmm...tomorrow is my wedding day and I am seriously am nervous and yeah I couldn't sleep...so decided to write something to ease my mind a bit ^^