CHAPTER THREE

“Okay so we’re going to film the last scene with the kiss today,” Baek-hyun muttered as he fixed his camera. I widened my eyes, “What?” Jong-in and I chorused and flushed when we locked gazes with each other. Baek-hyun furrowed his brows, but didn’t leave his eyes off of his camera, “We’re filming the kiss scene today! It seems like you two are almost scared to kiss. From the looks of it, I would have thought you two were dating already.”

I scoffed multiple times and snarled at Jong-in, “You’re kidding me, Baek-hyun. I wouldn’t date someone like him.” Jong-in raised an eyebrow and scoffed as well, “Whatever. Let’s just get this kiss over with and then we could go on our own paths.” I feigned a smile, but inside, my heart swelled and became heavy thinking about not being able to hang out with Jong-in or Baek-hyun.

I didn’t have any friends other than the two.

Baek-hyun pursed his lips in thought and then looked up at Jong-in and I and snickered, “What’s with the closeness? We haven’t even started filming yet and you two are already on each other!” I pushed Jong-in away trying to get rid of the awkwardness, but the atmosphere stayed the same and I felt like screaming my head off.

“Action!” Baek-hyun shouted. In this scene, Jong-in and I had no lines, and so we faced each other and my heart fluttered. No longer was the hard, heavy heart that dragged me down in my tears, but now my heart fluttered and flew higher each time Jong-in stepped towards me. I found myself unconsciously grabbing for his hand, and his cheeks burned in embarrassment as my fingers curled onto his.

Jong-in pulled me in with one pull and I felt my breath stop. He smirked and leaned in slowly. Was this some sort of torture scene for the lovers? I could feel my heart race fast and faster almost as if it was going to fly to the heavens, and I closed my eyes and felt his gentle lips press onto mine.

“Cut!”

We jerked ourselves from each other and I wiped my lips with the back of my hand. Jong-in scratched the back of his head and sighed, “It was just a small peck on the lips, correct?” I perspiration form on my brow and I wiped it with the back of my hand nervously.

Baek-hyun didn’t look up, but nodded, “Yes, I didn’t want it to be some awkward make-out scene. Some of the students would comment and make stupid remarks, and soon you two would be the most talked about thing after my film, but then again, it’s not like people pay attention to my film in class anyway.” His eyes finally looked up and he smiled at me, “We’re done now. Tomorrow we can fill in the small holes with the audio and stuff, and then we’ll be done!”

I glanced at Jong-in, but found him in his own little world and Baek-hyun approached me, “Do you need a ride home tonight?” I nodded my head, but found Jong-in grabbing my hand and pulled me into his chest, “No need, Baek-hyun. She rides home with me every night now. I provide transportation for her now.”

For some odd reason, I couldn’t argue against Jong-in. Ever since the kiss, my eyes had always avoided his gaze as if embarrassed to see more than I want, but I always wanted to see what goes through his head. I felt Baek-hyun pull me away from Jong-in and he held onto my hand, “Jong-in, just let me take her tonight. You can be her ride every night, but let me take her just once.”

I finally looked up at Jong-in’s eyes and saw that he seemed to be hurt, but he smiled before anyone could see the hurt in his eyes and chuckled, “Okay, fine. I guess I was being a little selfish. Go ahead and take her home. I have some stuff to do anyways. Bye, I’ll see you two tomorrow.” He gave me one more lingering glance and then walked away to his motorcycle.

I helped Baek-hyun load his things in his car, and then sat in the passenger seat and seat-belted. Baek-hyun started the engine and turned off the radio, “I finally am able to talk to you without Jong-in,” he mumbled. I looked over at him and he acted as if he didn’t say anything, and so I faced the front.

What did he mean ‘without Jong-in?’ Did he not like him?

“Are you feeling any better, Ryung-cha?” Baek-hyun asked after a long ride of silence. I grinned, “I’m doing better. My head may hurt sometimes, but I’ve gotten used to the pain.” I looked down at my hands in my lap and could feel the awkward atmosphere return.

“Do you like Jong-in?”

I jumped and widened my eyes and laughed, “No. I don’t like Jong-in at all—I mean—he’s a good friend, but I’m not interested in him like that. Jong-in is a nice guy who just so happened to walk in my life. Why?” Baek-hyun chuckled, “From the kiss, I thought that maybe perhaps you two were dating. If you aren’t dating, then would you like to help me tomorrow night with the film editing?”

“Really?” I asked and smiled. Baek-hyun glanced at me, “Yes really. Film editing is not easy with just one person.” I giggled, “Would this be considered a date?” Baek-hyun chuckled, “I guess you could say that.” I bit my lower lip, “How are you going to tell this to Jong-in?”

Baek-hyun suppressed a laugh and smirked, “Why should we tell Jong-in about this? From all those times he’s claimed to take you home every day, I think he really likes you, Ryung-cha. I’m surprised you don’t like him.” I scoffed, “Just because he accompanies me to everything it looks like we’re a couple! I’m telling you, we aren’t a couple.” Baek-hyun laughed, “Okay, okay. I get it. You and Jong-in are not a couple and do not like each other in a romantic kind of way.”

I nodded and heaved a sigh, “I’m kind of glad you both don’t like each other because... I kind of like you, Ryung-cha.” Baek-hyun smiled at me and I struggled to reply. I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t find any words and so I listened to myself croak under pressure.

“Are you okay—”

“Definitely! I am totally fine! I’m just—I’m really—Ha! I’m just really shocked, you know. I don’t know if you didn’t know this, but I used to have a crush on you.” I confessed and turned to Baek-hyun. His face was unreadable, and I could tell he was still thinking of a response.

“Jong-in told me,” he began, “and I was glad he did. Before, I never truly looked at you, but when he informed me... I noticed how different you were.” I began to shift uncomfortably in my seat, “Baek—”

“Ryung-cha, you really deserve a guy who gives you attention. He shouldn’t give you attention when someone first mentions you, but he should give you attention right from the beginning. It should be a guy who will be by your side for forever, and never care about the girls that throw themselves on him.” Baek-hyun said. His voice was beginning to become rough and I began to listen to his voice. He sounded as if he was started to conclude to an answer.

Baek-hyun stopped at my house and turned to me, “I really like you Ryung-cha, but I think Jong-in is the right guy for you. He pursued you before I even knew your existence, and he really cares about you. I’m not forcing you to return his feelings, but if you had to choose between him and me, I would push you towards him.”

I stared down at my feet and I feigned a smile as I looked up at Baek-hyun, “That’s alright, Baek-hyun, but I don’t think I’ll be choosing anyone. I’m only looking for a friendly relationship.” Baek-hyun seemed to force a smile, and the corner of his lip twitched.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and looked up to see Baek-hyun’s lips centimeters from mine. His eyes were solely concentrated on my lips, and his breath was light and warm against my skin. I could feel my heartbeat throughout my whole body, and Baek-hyun gently pressed his lips onto mine.

Why was I getting kissed so many times lately?

It took me a couple of seconds to finally register that Baek-hyun and I were kissing in his car for no apparent reason, and I jerked my lips off of his and my blood rushed to my face in embarrassment. I continually tucked my hair behind my ears and coughed, “I’ll see you tomorrow—uh—Baek-hyun.”

I watched his expression as it washed to disappointment, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. I opened my car door and heard his voice in the background, “Please don’t leave.”

I turned and saw his eyes cast downwards, “What?” His eyes flickered up to mine, and I froze as his hand grabbed for mine, “Don’t leave me... alone.” He pulled me towards him, and he forced his lips on mine. I could feel his hot breath becoming heavier as the kiss deepened and he gasped for air and my lips with his tongue.

I wanted to shriek, but my body couldn’t function under his hold. I felt my hands shake, but I could do anything but sit and be kissed by Baek-hyun. My door opened and a strong grip pulled me out of the car, and I was cradled into someone’s arms, “What are you doing!?”

I glanced up and saw Jong-in glaring at Baek-hyun. His grip tightened around my arms, causing me slight harm, but I couldn’t help but feel secure in his hold.

Baek-hyun daringly glared back at Jong-in, “Ryung-cha isn’t a possession, Jong-in. She cannot belong to you.” I heard a low growl from the back of Jong-in’s throat and he snarled, “But her heart belongs with me. She obviously doesn’t have any affection for you whatsoever.”

Jong-in held me tighter in his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me, “You should leave, Baek-hyun.”

Jong-in slammed the car door and Baek-hyun backed out of the driveway. Jong-in loosed his grip and I closed my eyes, “Why are you here—?”

“I can’t believe you let him kiss you like that! That’s ual harassment! Ryung-cha, do you not respect yourself? If you didn’t like him, why did you let him kiss you like that? I can’t believe you just froze there, and didn’t do a thing about it! You were lucky I had came to the car just in time!” Jong-in scolded and ran his fingers through his hair angrily.

My blood began to boil and I gritted my teeth. My eyes began to sting with tears of anger, and I clenched my hands into tight fists; my nails dug into my palms, “You don’t know the whole story, Jong-in. You can’t just barge in and think that you can save the day! Maybe I wanted to kiss him! Why are you always ruining things for me?” I wildly ranted.

He stepped back and his lips parted in disbelief, “Ryung-cha...”

“Jong-in, you’re always there for me, but sometimes I want to face things on my own! I need to mature and learn things on my own! Why can’t you just stay away from me? You only found interest in me from my ex-friend, Soo-young, anyways! You wouldn’t even know my existence if it wasn’t for my stupid friend who just wanted me to go party! You never liked me before, and you probably don’t now!” I rapidly shouted and stormed into my house.

As I passed the window, I glanced out and saw Jong-in gone. He probably left before I even took off my shoes. I glanced at my palms and saw the deep red marks cut into my skin. I bit my trembling lip to stop it from shaking, and I jumped onto my bed and a tear fell from my cheek.

I wiped the tear, but more tears followed and I was quietly sobbing to myself.

Why am I crying?

Do I actually like Kim Jong-in?

“Principal Yoon wanted all of us to watch a student’s film project. Apparently, it was so creative and well-written and acted that companies are begging to find the master mind of the project. Byun Baek-hyun, one of our classmates, had directed and written this beautifully made project, and Kim Jong-in and Song Ryung-cha acted in this film.” My teacher proudly announced.

Everyone in my classroom except Baek-hyun turned to me and I flushed and sunk in my seat. It was yet another time I felt completely exposed at school. The lights turned off and the projector .

I leaned forward in my seat and rested my head on my arm that laid across my desk. The beginning began like an old tape film. It first showed Jong-in’s face close up, and his eyes searching for something above the lenses. A small giggle escaped from my lips, and I could feel my lips curl into a smile.

He backed away from the video camera and bowed and the subtle sound of music was heard in the background, “My name is Kim Jong-in, and I’m totally new at this but I’d like to share my story of my... first love.” He nervously chuckled and scratched the back of his head, “I don’t know if the female I currently am in love with will acknowledge how I feel about her, but someday, I hope that she may feel the same about me.”

I felt my heart expand and flutter inside my chest, and his smile widened but softened and he began to faintly disappear. My eyes searched the dark screen, and I could hear my voice, “Love exists with an absence of eternity. At the first moment of lovers’ encounter, there’s an affirmation of love. Psychologically lunacy, emptiness, panic, illusion that the moment will last forever... I’m ceased by desire. I hide behind my back and postpone all answers.”

The next scene Jong-in glancing at the camera and giggled. I raised an eyebrow, and saw him tap my shoulder and then face Baek-hyun who was busily attending his gadgets. I watched as I had turned and looked over at Baek-hyun instead of Jong-in. Was I that dense?

Jong-in tapped my shoulder again and then towered over me. I seemed to be shocked to see him, and I turned around flustered and ignored his existence. The next scene showed me laughing with Jong-in at the coffee shop, and we seemed to be openly flirting with each other. I didn’t remember Baek-hyun filming us at that meeting.

Next played the scene when Jong-in and I kissed. It was one of the many scenes we filmed that actually made it onto screen, and it had to be the most emotional. I felt goose-bumps form along my arms and my eyes blurred with tears. As we kissed, the credits began to play and the class applauded with whoops and cheers.

Baek-hyun stood up before the class and stared at me with a euphoric look on his face, “Most of those scenes were not meant to be put into the film, but I decided that love that is seen in everyday life looks more realistic than acting. The fun thing about this project is that first love is something to be desirable not regretful, and we shouldn’t force ourselves to love.” I grinned at him, and I felt all eyes on me.

I looked around and Baek-hyun sat in his seat, and the door opened.

I shot up from my seat and gawked, “Jong-in, what are you—” He ran over to me and pulled me closely to him, “Stop talking, and just kiss me.” The world went quiet and I could feel my stomach turn excitedly, and I smiled and kissed him back.

“I thought you didn’t like me,” he mumbled. I giggled, “I don’t because I love you, Kim Jong-in.” He held me tightly against him and exhaled, “You’re the most difficult first love ever, but that’s what made me fall for you. Don’t deny me ever again, Ryung-cha.”

I smiled and happily enjoyed the few seconds of being loved in the classroom before our teacher sent us to detention for very public and affectionate displays, but I hadn’t minded the consequences of being caught embracing my love. Everything had turned hazy and light and I was feeling... euphoric.

I felt so secure and sure of myself.

And for once, I felt desirable.

AUTHOR'S note:

Turns out there's only three chapters and an epilogue. I guess this is considered a one-shot~! *breaks out singing One Shot by B.A.P*