Kai watched as Yoomin laughed brightly with the other Exo members and he lowered his head. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling like this but he couldn't help but feel jealous when he saw Yoomin being so happy.

It wasn’t fair. No it wasn’t

Why does Kai have to be stuck in their past, their memories, but Yoomin had already long moved on? He felt so stupid, so dumb, but what could he do?

Nothing.

Because apparently he was the one who stopped their relationship from going on. Or rather, cut off contact. Like literally. Even when Yoomin visit the Exo dorm, they exchange no words. No words at all.

Yoomin was the one who didn’t want to continue their relationship. But they had still talked. Not much. Not for a long time either.

If Yoomin didn’t want to continue, Kai didn’t feel the need to keep in contact with her especially when she started distancing herself away and had gotten close with D.O instead.

Kai knew that he was selfish. But being just a little selfish wouldn’t hurt right? Since all he’s been doing was wish Yoomin would move on over him and be happy again. But there was still a small hope within him, that hopes Yoomin hadn’t move on, and that maybe, just maybe they could go back to being friends. But that hope was known impossible to Kai. He knew. Nothing would go back to what they used to be. Nothing.

Kai stared ahead at D.O and Yoomin, knowing, certainly, she was happy. Happier than what she used to be when she was with him.

And selfishness has gone away and now bitterness settled in.

At least, one of them was happy. He didn’t do what he did in vain.

But it was tormenting. To hear her voice, her laughter, her beautiful face and the way she smiles. It hurts even. Because all of that are genuine. And Kai, he couldn’t really do all of that genuinely. He’s trapped. Trapped in their past, their memories, and in tear he didn’t want to shed.

But he couldn’t say he regretted letting Yoomin go, because Yoomin was happy now, and even his hyung is happy. That was enough for him. But as for him, he would have to take time, take time to heal and step out of their past and memories.

But for now. It’s not the time. And it really is frustrating. Because being stuck isn’t after all so good.

Kai ruffled his hair in frustration and went into his bedroom quietly. Sehun and Suho saw Kai and exchanged pained glances. After all, they were the only ones who knew Kai and Yoomin had had a relationship. They stood up from the couch and followed Kai into his room.

“Hyung,”

“I’m fine,”

“JongIn,”

“Hyung, I said I’m fine,”

“We know you aren’t, hyung. We know. It’s no use hiding your feelings,” Sehun said as he sat down beside Kai.

Kai buried his face in his palms. Both Sehun and Suho know tears are now streaming down his face but he doesn’t want them to see.

They know, they always do. And Kai didn’t even know why he was even trying to hide.

Sehun patted Kai on his head in a comforting manner.

Sehun and Suho exchanged worried glances again. Kai had to move on somehow.

It needed time. But wasn’t 1 year, 4 months and 3 days enough time for Kai to move on? Was it not? Kai didn’t know.

All he wants to do is move on, over Yoomin, and get on with life. But his heart isn’t all that kind to him. And so his heart wasn’t even letting go yet.

Kai knew though, that somehow, he will. When Yoomin and D.O gets into a relationship and move on to the wedding stage.

Yes he will move on.

But he don’t think he would ever want to fall in love anymore.

Because falling out of love, is worse than anything in this world.