XIUMIN’s POV

Another pain surged through my chest that it left me breathless, chasing any trace of sleepiness and happiness of my sweet dreams. I though after 5 years, I would be familiar with it, or even accustomed to the shredding, constricting pain that left me burning for air. But, NO. It’s ripping me apart even more. I grabbed my pills from the bedside. Drugs; they are my life line now.

Since birth, my parents said that I had heart murmur. We did some treatments and they seemed to work. And I lived normally. Until 5 years back; I had my first arrhythmia attack. I fainted in school and was brought to the hospital. Doctors realized my previous condition had developed to a conditions in which the electrical activity of my heart is irregular or is faster or slower than normal. In many cases, it was quite harmless. But I am not among that a part of that many people. Mine can cause sudden cardiac arrest and probably worse, death.

Since my first attack, my parents insisted on home-schooling me. The doctors said that to avoid any strenuous activities and tension to decrease the risk. So they did. I knew my parents would do anything for me, to keep me alive. I am their only child. I kept away from many things and ended up missing on plenty too. I missed my friends; I did wonder what those 11 idiots of mine were doing at those particular moments that I thought of them, the school and the havoc and problem a teenager my age could get into. Sounds masochist-like?

Yet, I am contented enough. I smiled a lot, I am very polite, and I am very much loved by my parents. They were the pumps of oxygen to my defected heart.

After some excruciating moment, I felt it passed and sighfully ruffled my hair. I have a practice today and I am really looking forward to it.

Piano was my sanctuary. The black and white keys are my source of satisfaction; as I lightly move my fingers on them and make music. I would smile to myself. As I learned, it brought smile to the people around me as well. So, I continued to learn and made myself into a very good pianist. Turned out I am gifted as well. Fancy, neh?

I already composed a piece of my own. Gone; that was the title. Because everything would disappeared and washed away one day. And she always gone from my eyes the second I saw her at the highest window of the mansion. Gone in my eyes only though.

The first time I had seen her more than a flash of a second was two weeks after I started my piano lessons at the mansion. Belonged to the famous pianist Kim Hwan, my parents arranged for him to teach me because he is the best in the country; but he retired early 14 years ago because of personal reasons.

She was walking at the south wing of the mansion; I can see clearly through the large window. Craning my neck, Mr. Kim Hwan propped his wooden stick, startling me. So I kept playing. When I knew he had his back to me, I glanced again. Without glancing around like normally a girl would do, she walked right up to the next room of the music room. I can see her through the glass door. She sat still; fragile at most, like a porcelain Chinese doll. Who is she?

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P/S: short, isn't it?sorry, I'll post the rest later. :)