Jongdae walked through the barren streets of dawn.

Pulling his jacket tighter around himself, the soft sound of his footsteps were the only ones accompanying him while both of his bare hands clutched a bouquet of various flowers. Red roses, pink carnations and an assortment of zinnias*. Walking the same familiar path, he allowed his legs to guide him as his mind wandered. It was this time of year again. Jongdae both anticipated and dreaded the visits to his his one and only love.

Luhan.

It's been so long since they last talked face to face, yet Luhan's porcelain features seemed to be engraved into Jongdae's mind. In his mind, he could see Luhan's face as clear as day, as if they never spent a single day away from each other, let alone completely part ways.

Jongdae's throat tightened at the thought.

The yellow leaves whirled on the sidewalk as a gust of wind blew past, biting Jongdae's exposed skin. Shivering, Jongdae picked up his pace.

Thinking back on the times when they were still together, though, he fell into a melancholic reminiscence. The chilling wind and biting cold, forgotten.

--

"You like him" Minseok teased, watching his best friend gawking at the pretty transfer student across the cafeteria

The boy, named Luhan, had just recently transferred from China in hopes of learning Korean. He is surprisingly manly and a soccer prodigy, yet he has delicate porcelain features that the girl are jealous of and in love with. As a senior high schooler, he definitely doesn't look his age.

"I do not" Jongdae replied defensively, a blush rising to his cheeks

"'I do not'" Minseok mimicked "Then why are you blushing and acting like a teenage girl?"

". . . . Fine . . . Maybe I do like him" Jongdae mumbled, hoping Minseok didn't hear

But sadly for him, Minseok did.

"I knew it!" Minsoek shouted "Well you better go over there and woo him. Sweep him off his feet or something cause the girls are all over him"

"Shhhh . . . Keep it down . . . Someone'll hear" Jongdae hissed, his cheeks tinted a bright shade of red as he tried to quiet his excited friend

Looking towards his crush, Jongdae couldn't help but feel disheartened at the scene. The boy was surrounded by girls, who were gawking and fawning over him. Most likely asking him about trivial things like 'What part of China are you from', 'Do you have siblings?' or 'How do you like Korea so far'

Jongdae sighed.

Turning back to his companion, Jongdae was surprised to find him missing. Returning his view back to the older boy across the room, Jongdae was mortified to find his friend conversing and dragging Jongdae's love interest back to the table Jongdae and he were occupying, giving menacing glares to any girl who followed.

"Jongdae. I'd like you to meet Luhan. He's the foreign exchange student here and a new friend of mine who's on the soccer team as well." Minseok said happily upon returning

"N-nice t-to meet y-y-you Lu-Luhan" Jongdae stuttered

His heart was racing and he was sure that his face resembled a ripe tomato.

"Nice to meet you too" Luhan replied politely, flashing Jongdae a blinding smile

"Well, we better head off to our next class shouldn't we, Luhan?" Minseok asked

"Yea but . . Where is that?" Luhan asked sheepishly, causing Jongdae's heart to flutter

"Don't worry I'll show you" Minsoek replied before leaning down to Jongdae's ear "You're welcome. You're lucky your best friend makes an amazing cupid"

Grabbing Luhan by the arm, Minseok dragged him away, leaving Jongdae alone at the table.

"I swear, I'm gonna kill Minseok one day" Jongdae sighed to himself, deciding to head to class as well

--

Sitting in a quiet corner of the library, Minseok's gaze wandered as a diligent Jongdae did his homework.

"You need to tell him sometime" Minseok said, ignoring the textbook and papers in front of him

"No I don't" Jongdae replied, not looking up from his work

"Yes you do. We've known him for almost a year already. Just tell him"

"This is why you're close to failing. You need to do your work. I didn't agree to come to the library to help tutor you so you could question my love life" Jongdae retorted, face still buried in his World History textbook as if the section on the Cold War was the most interesting thing in the world

"Well if you just told him then I wouldn't be questioning you and I'd actually do my work and then I wouldn't be close to failing. So in the end, you're the reason why I'm failing." Minseok reasoned "If you just told Luhan then we wouldn't be in this mess now would we?"

"Tell me what?" Luhan asked, appearing out of nowhere and surprising both Jongdae and Minseok.

Suddenly an idea formed in Minseok's head and a mischievous look appeared in his eyes.

"It seems as if I'm late for an appointment I have. So why don't you tell him, Jongdae?" Minseok said, gathering his things "Well, I gotta go! See ya"

Waving a quick goodbye, Minseok rushed out of the library as Jongdae silently cursed him. Setting down the books he was clutching, Luhan occupied the vacant seat besides Jongdae.

"Sooo . . . What did you need to tell me?" Luhan asked, his full attention on Jongdae

"Nothing" Jongdae mumbled, not seeming able to focus on history anymore

"It's obviously something. Tell me" Luhan persisted, the knowing look in his eyes went unseen from Jongdae who still had his eyes pinned to the book "Tell. Me"

" . . . Fine . . . I like you, Okay?" Jongdae blurted, looking up to finally meet Luhan's eyes

"I know" Luhan chuckled airily, cupping Jongdae's blushing cheeks

Jongdae's eyes widened in shock but soon fluttered shut when Luhan pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss

"I like you too" Luhan said when they parted

"Well after we kissed, I'd hope so" Jongdae retorted, earning a soft chuckle from the other male

Interlocking their fingers together, they sat in a blissful silence

"Y'know, I don't know if I should thank Minseok or kill him" Jongdae said

"Well think about that later cause you're mine right now" Luhan replied, giving Jongdae a peck on the lips

"I'm yours forever" Jongdae whispered, just loud enough for Luhan to hear

Smiling at Jongdae's comment, Luhan kissed him sweetly once more.

--

Leaning against the hood of his brand new car, Luhan looked more like a model rather than an average college student.

Ignoring the whispering girls that passed by, Luhan had his eyes glued to his phone, anticipating the moment the bell would ring and he would be able to see his Jongdae. Not noticing the figure slipping beside him, Luhan jumped when thin arms wrapped around his waist.

"Did I scare ya?" Jongdae teased

"No . . .I was just startled" Luhan said with a scowl, but soon smiled, pulling the smaller male into a loving hug

Grabbing Jongdae's hand, Luhan guided him to the passenger side of the car where he opened the door and helped his boyfriend in before entering the driver's seat. Leaning over, Luhan helped Jongdae fasten his seatbelt against the younger's protests. Fastening his own seatbelt, Luhan started the car, driving towards his planned destination.

"Did you miss me?" Luhan asked as he drove along the winding road with great precision

"I did" Jongdae pouted "I miss not going to the same school. Why did you have to graduate before me? You should have failed last year so you could graduate with me"

"That's a stupid idea. Why would I fail on purpose? Plus, I'm here on scholarship so I'd be sent back home if I failed" Luhan chuckled airily "You wouldn't want that would you?"

"No" Jongdae mumbled "Where are we going anyways?"

"You'll see" Luhan said, not looking away from the road

As they drove on for another hour, Luhan finally pulled up in front of a small yet elegant restaurant. Getting out of the car first, Luhan opened the passenger side and helped Jongdae out. Wrapping an arm around Jongdae's shoulder's, Luhan guided him inside.

"Mr. Luhan?" asked the host by the door

"Yes, That'd be me" Luhan replied, following the host as he led the couple inside

The restaurant was empty. Not a single customer was in sight yet every table was covered in a white table cloth and lit with small heart shaped candles. The host led the two boys to a small table by the large window that overlooked the glistening ocean where they took there seats.

"Happy Anniversary" Luhan said, resting his chin on his hands as he watched his boyfriend look around in wonder

"Why are we the only ones here" Jongdae asked when he finally found his voice

"Cause I rented out the whole place for the night" Luhan replied, as if it were the simplest thing

"You what?!" Jongdae replied, shocked "How?! Don't you need to pay a lot to do that?!?"

"I have my connections. Don't worry about it. Just enjoy yourself" Luhan chuckled softly

Dinner went by fast and soon enough, Luhan was driving them back to his apartment. The minute they entered the apartment, Jongdae was pushed up against the wall, Luhan kissing the younger passionately. Resting a hand on Jongdae's hip, the other travelled up Jongdae's shirt, revealing his milky pale skin.

"you don't have to do this if you don't wanna" Luhan panted when they broke the kiss

"I want to. . . . with you" Jongdae replied sheepishly, blushing a bright red

"Ok" Luhan smiled understandingly, grabbing Jongdae's wrist and leading him into the bedroom.

--

Curled up on the bed, Jongdae buried his face into Luhan's bare chest, listening to the rhythmic heartbeat of his lover.

Legs tangled together under the blankets and Luhan's arms wrapped around Jongdae's slim waist, the couple felt as if they were in paradise.

"I love you" Jongdae whispered softly

"I love you too" Luhan replied, breathing in the sweet scent of the younger's hair as he buries his face in it

Within a comfortable silence, the couple fell asleep entangled in one another.

--

The soft sound of his steps faded as Jongdae slowed to a stop.

Taking a deep breath, allowing the cold air to envelop his lungs, he slowly stepped onto the grass. Walking briskly, his mind was set on finding only a certain person. Not even glancing at the others around him, Jongdae walked the familiar path to where he met Luhan each time. Eyes pinned to the ground, Jongdae could feel his throat constricting and his stomach churn. Approaching his destination, Jongdae stopped.

"Hey, Luhan" Jongdae said, trying his best to keep his voice stable "It's been so long hasn't it? Been almost a decade hasn't it?"

Gaze still glued to the grass at his feet, the only reply Jongdae got was the long howl of the autumn wind. Tears formed in Jongdae's eyes but he hurriedly wiped them away even though he knew Luhan couldn't see them.

"It's our anniversary today. . . From when I first confessed to you during our high school days . . . " Jongdae's voice strained

Kneeling down in the grass, Jongdae placed the bouquet in front of him.

"These are for you" Jongdae's voice finally cracked and tears streamed down his face "I-I'm . . . I'm sorry"

Gripping his jean clad knees, he let the warm tears roll down his chilled face and fall onto his hands, ignoring the stings of pain when the droplets hit his icy skin.

"I'm s-sorry . . .I know I shouldn't be crying . . .It's our anniversary . . . and you always told me to smile but . . . .I miss you" Jongdae sobbed "I miss you so much and it hurts"

Finally looking up, Jongdae stared at what was before him.

Reaching out slowly, he carefully traced the engraved letters on the gravestone, the tears never stopping.

Here Lies . . .

Luhan

鹿晗/루한

April 20, 1990 - June 21, 2016

--

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Jongdae sobbed, gripping Luhan's hand "That you were terminally ill?"

Sitting on the edge of his seat, Jongdae leaned into the hospital bed. With both hands gripping his lover's now thin ones, Jongdae let tears race down his face.

"I didn't want to worry you, love" Luhan replied gently

Pulling a hand out of Jongdae's grip, Luhan wiped away the tears staining the younger male's face

"I'll miss you . . . It hurts just thinking about not being with you" Jongdae cried

"I'll miss you too" Luhan replied weakly, smiling consolingly "I love you"

"I love you too" Jongdae's voice cracked

"Now stop crying . . .I want to see you smile one last time before I die" Luhan attempted a soft chuckle, ending up silently coughing instead "You look better when you smile. . . . So, just one last smile please?"

"Don't say that. . . .You're not gonna die . . .I don't want you to die" Jongdae continued sorrowfully, his chest was tightening and heart ached

"Please . . . Just this one last request? Smile for me, babe" Luhan pleaded

Giving in, Jongdae nodded and tried his best to genuinely smile even as tears continued to rain down his face

"Good. . . . I love you . . . with all my heart . . . . you know that right?" Luhan asked with a small smile

"I love you with all my heart too" Jongdae said while nodding vigorously

"我会想你，但是我会永远爱你 (Wǒ huì xiǎng nǐ, dànshì wǒ huì yǒngyuǎn ài nǐ)**" Luhan whispered, his voice full of love

"What does that mea-" Jongdae began before a bespectacled man in a white jacket walked into the room

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave" He told Jongdae "you're time is up"

"But I-" Jongdae began, desperate to stay with Luhan for even a second more

"It's okay, Jongdae. It'll be fine" Luhan said reassuringly

"NO . . .IT WON'T BE FINE . . .I DON'T WANNA LEAVE YOU" Jongdae cried one last time as he shared one last tight embrace with Luhan

"You never told me what you said before. . . .what you said in Chinese" Jongdae mumbled into Luhan's chest, the same rhythmic beat of his heart slowly calming Jongdae down, even though he knew it'd completely stop soon

"you'll find out one day" Luhan replied, kissing Jongdae on the top of the head "Now go. My time is up. . . . Don't worry, we'll meet again in another life and hopefully we'll both live long, happy lives together then"

Slowly, Jongdae got up and exited the room, leaving Luhan alone with the doctor. Standing in the waiting room, Jongdae was surprised when Minseok hugged him, since he assumed that Minseok left a while ago. Clinging onto his best friend, Jongdae sobbed until no more tears came out, all the while the silent, teary eyed Minseok patted him consolingly on the back. About an hour later, the same doctor who was with Luhan came into the waiting room where Jongdae was calming down from his crying.

"It's done. He's gone to a better place now" The doctor said sympathetically before walking away

--

Standing up, Jongdae brushed the dirt from his jeans and the tears from his eyes, even as new ones formed.

"Remember when you told me '我会想你，但是我会永远爱你'?"  Jongdae asked the grave before him, smiling sorrowfully "Well, I've been learning Chinese  . . . . After you left . . .and I finally figured it out"

Shivering, Jongdae wrapped his thin arms around himself in attempt to stay warm.

"You'll always be in my heart no matter what" Jongdae whispered in a hoarse voice "I miss you"

Turning around, Jongdae walked away slowly, like always, not ready to part with Luhan again.

"I love you" Jongdae spoke into the wind as he stopped before the gates of the cemetery

As Jongdae stepped past the gates, a particularly strong gust of wind blew by.

For a split second, Jongdae thought he could hear Luhan's voice in the wind, whispering into his ear, saying:

"I love you too"

*In the language of flowers:

Red Roses = Love
Pink Carnations = I Miss you
Zinnias = Thoughts of an absent friend

**我会想你，但是我会永远爱你 (Wǒ huì xiǎng nǐ, dànshì wǒ huì yǒngyuǎn ài nǐ) = I will miss you but I'll always love you

--

A/N: . . . .TT^TT My first sad story~~
Im sorry that this came out terribly, I typed this all at 1am and I didn't re-read it
Feel free to comment and give suggestions~

Thanks for supporting~