*slips out of hibernation* Hi ouo *coughs* So...to be honest, I hadn't really been writing since my last update on this story. To be short, school got in the way, I graduated, then got a job, and now I don't have a job ouo sooooooo. Hooray for being unemployed! (And I apologize for the bad chapter name ;-;)

__________________________________________________________________________________

    Honestly, I couldn't have made my hands stop shaking even if I tied them to the table with steel rope. How was I supposed to continue the story? How was I supposed to continue from where Jongup had left off? I attempted to lift my cup of coffee but failed miserably. Having burning hot coffee splash all over your hands is not the best feeling in the world. I sunk back slowly in my chair and ran my fingers through my hair, letting out a quiet sigh. I should have never told this story, I should have never even thought about it. So why was I doing it? To be quite honest, I didn't know. Maybe, subconsciously, I loved torturing myself. Or maybe, just maybe, my heart wanted to do something to keep his memory alive.

    It was noon, so the coffee shop was packed with business men and women on their breaks, waiting for their only lifeline during the work day. I don't blame them. If I worked in an office all day, I'd need coffee to keep me from dropping my head on the desk. After about half an hour, it died down and I was soon the only person left, leaving a chance for the waitress to break away from her job for a little while. I watched as she removed her apron behind the counter and rushed over to join me, her face carrying a sorrowful expression.

    "I didn't think reading his words would take such a toll." She sat across from me and rested her hand on mine, probably taking notice of how it trembled. "Are you feeling alright?"

    I nodded and offered a light smile, unable to gather the strength for a full one. Hey, at least it was something. "Yeah, I'm alright." I took another sip of my drink and sighed. "I thought about bringing the notebook, but I figured I could tell you the next part." She smiled in approval and nodded her head, patiently waiting for me to begin.

    Now, where do I begin?
__________________________________________________________________________________
    I watched Jongup as he ate, scarfing down his breakfast in no time at all, almost inhaling it all. He smiled up at me as he finished and looked around the kitchen in search for seconds. "Is there any more left over?"

    I gave a soft chuckle and stood from the table - having already finished my own - deciding to go ahead and start another batch of eggs. "There's none left, but I'll make you some more." He was quick to protest my offer.

    "But, you have to work soon. Won't it make you late?"

    I smiled and cracked open two eggs on the pan, having sprayed it with non-stick oil in preperation. "I'll make it and then head out to work. If you'd like, you can stay here for a few days and relax." He flashed a warm smile and nodded his head as he looked around the apartment, occassionally checking on the food. Soon enough, his food was finished and I transferred the eggs onto his waiting plate then refilled his cup of milk. Once he was eating, I went to dress for work. I couldn't get over the idea of him staying with me. He seemed happy and comfortable here, and I didn't want to just send him away. If it were anyone else, they wouldn't have already been out of my life. What was it about him that made Jongup so special? Why couldn't I bear the thought of sending him away? I shook off the thought and bid Jongup a farewell before leaving for work.

__________________________________________________________________________________

    When I returned home, Jongup was asleep on the couch and the entire house was cleaned. The dishes were washed and put away, the living room was cleared of random clothes everywhere. My apartment hadn't looked so wonderful since I moved in. I moved toward the couch with a smile on my face, kneeling beside the couch and running my fingertips over his cheek. How soft could someone's skin be? Geez.

    I gently brushed his bangs back, smiling softly at how nice is felt compared to the mess it was before. His face was relaxed with a soft smile resting on it. He was glowing angelically. He was an angel in my eyes, and always would be. I stayed like that for a while, watching over him as he slept so peacefully. It was too hard to look away from someone so beautiful, but I eventually stood and lifted Jongup from the couch, carrying him into the bedroom and laying him in bed where he could sleep. I turned away after tucking him in but his hand was quick to grab onto mine, nearly begging for me to turn back to him.

    "Daehyun-ssi," his voice was soft, almost mouse-like, "will you sleep with me?" Those words made my heart race. Laying beside Jongup in bed? Me beside him? I couldn't help but smile at the idea and nodded in agreement before going to change into a pair of sweat pants, glancing back at Jongup as I did.

    "Would you like some pants or shorts to wear?" I smiled and held up a pair of shorts and pants for him to see, a smile wide on my face. He smiled and pointed to the pair of pants, getting out of bed and coming to claim them. He bowed his head to me before going to the bathroom to change into them in private. He didn't need to feel self-conscious or uncomfortable around me, but I wasn't going to force him to strip down in front of someone he had just recently met. I laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling, my mind and heart both in a frenzy over sleeping beside this angelic being. Angelic. Even that word didn't seem to be enough to describe him.

    Why did this boy make my heart beat so fast? Why did he make my body tremble at just the sound of his sweet voice? Why was it that I felt weak around him but strong enough to protect him from any danger? What was it about him that made me like this? I ran a hand through my hair and tugged lightly on the locks. It was frustrating - I couldn't even keep my own thoughts straight at this point. Soon, the door to the bathroom opened and Jongup appeared in the doorway, a faint blush on his cheeks as he held the pants by the waistband. "They're a bit loose on me," he said softly, still holding onto them as he joined me in bed. The flush remained on his face as he pulled the blankets over his bare chest, his eyes careful to avoid my own body. I couldn't help but chuckle.

    "We're both men," I said softly as I rested a hand atop his head, "our bodies look similar." He nodded his head in response but still faced away.
    "I know that," he said, speaking softly and quietly, "but it's wrong for me to see the body of other men." His expression was soft but distressed, his eyes glimmering as if they were filling with tears. I watched him silently, hoping for an explanation. I wouldn't force him to explain, but I could hope. "In high school, my ahjumma caught me kissing a male classmate of mine, and he was shirtless and the time." He looked down and curled up beside me, hiding his face from my view. "She scolded me for how wrong it was, and that men aren't supposed to see other men shirtless that way...only women."

    He liked men? I watched him, noticing how visibly terrified he was for confessing such a thing, his hands trembling as her nervously played with them. I smiled softly and ran a gentle hand through his soft mane, laying on my side so I could face him directly, our eyes meeting momentarily before he looked away shyly. "Hey now," I said with a warm smile, one hand caressing his chin and gently lifting his head, "there's nothing wrong with looking at other men." His eyes seemed to light up a I spoke, as if I had given him some sort of hope. "People are more accepting of others than you think, Jongup. Especially myself." I chuckled softly, hoping that was enough to explain myself. He seemed to get it as he pressed his lips to mine. I remained still, my eyes wide in shock, unable to move from the pure shock. He soon pulled away and hid his face from me once again.

    I smiled softly and lifted his chin to look at him, my own eyes warm and welcoming, then softly pressed my lips to his, unable to help but sigh at how soft they were. Our eyes both fluttered closed and he soon move his lips to return the kiss. We were both locked together for what seemed like an eternity, but neither of us were willing to part from the kiss. Neither of us were willing to part at all. So we stayed like that, locked in a series of pasionate kisses for hours before we finally drifted off to sleep, holding each other in our arms. It was by far the best night of my life, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I wouldn't give him up for anything.

    That's when I realized it. I didn't like Jongup.

    I loved him.
_________________________________________________________________________________