It all started with F.

Their love story started with the letter F.

F for Fukuoka.

 

 

Canal City Hakata
Fukuoka, Japan
3 p.m.

 

“What the F…” Taeyeon almost cursed. She forgot that she was talking in Japanese and she was in Canal City Hakata, a large shopping and entertainment complex in Fukuoka, a Japanese city. To make things worse, it slipped her mind that she was surrounded by people who knew her – staff, crew and fans.

 

She almost choked when she realized all these and had to swallow hard.

 

Kim Taeyeon, the dork, at her finest.

She couldn’t even say sorry.

 

“What the …” Taeyeon whispered this time, in Korean. She still cursed, even after blushing, over the phone, after what her best friend told her. “You’re what?”

 

Fellow SNSD member and best friend Tiffany Hwang told her she’s married. And she claims she just ‘woke up married’ to someone. And yes, that deserves a ‘what the ’, really.

 

“We’re talking when I get back, Stephanie. We’re damn talking.” Taeyeon sounded mad, “And whoever that guy is, make sure he's damn good looking and y. So this freaking fiction of yours will be worth listening to. … just .”

 

She hung up. No point in arguing over the phone; Tiffany was crying so loud over the phone and Taeyeon couldn’t understand much of her words. She was even uttering weird ones like, bigbang, and top. How can those be related to her being married?

 

Taeyeon wasn’t mad upon hearing what Tiffany just told her; she was scared. If there was a pinch of truth and dash of reality on whatever her best friend was telling her, then Taeyeon must not just feel scared but terrified.

 

She woke up married? What’s this? A movie? A drama? A fan fiction, perhaps? She’s dating Nichkhun; but if it was Nichkhun she woke up married to, she couldn’t be that hysterical.

 

Taeyeon sighed and went back to what’s she doing. She got shocked to find out everyone’s looking at her, apparently watching her talk to Tiffany. It was after all her own fan meet slash autograph session and she should expect everyone to watch her.

 

Uh-oh.

 

She got LOST again.
Oh dear.

 

“Sorry.” She looked at her manager and mouthed her apology.

 

Sorry, not sorry.
But yes, always lost, that Kim Taeyeon.

 

 

“Sleep tight, baby girl.” Koko, Taeyeon’s personal make-up artist and friend told her when they were about to enter Grand Hyatt Fukuoka, the hotel they’ve been staying in. It’s all within Canal City Hakata. The complex is so big; it calls itself ‘city within the city’. Taeyeon and her entourage are staying in the area too.

 

They just had ramen for dinner after Taeyeon’s fan meet and are back to the hotel.

 

“Ko...” Taeyeon stepped back before getting inside the door. The doorman looked confused seeing her hesitation to go in, “I think I want to go for a walk.”

 

A walk.
More like to clear her mind.

 

“A walk?” Koko asked, “Is this about Tiffany?”

 

“No.” Taeyeon lied, “I ate too much sushi… I can’t sleep with my stomach full.”

 

Koko, knowing Taeyeon too well, just laughed and let her be. “Fine. Watch where you’re going though. Remember the streets and the roads. For goodness sake, take pictures of the landmarks if you must. You freaking get lost every time Kim Taeyeon… and check your GPS if it’s working.”

 

Taeyeon laughed too. “Got it. Sleep well, Ko. Thanks.”

 

Highlight of the evening:

It’s Ramen at Ichiran’s, not Sushi.
And she didn’t even touch her Ramen.
And she always loses her way, that Kim Taeyeon.

 

Yes.
She’s that LOST.

 

 

Fukuoka, Japan
June 2013
11.30 p.m.

 

“Taengoo…” Taeyeon talked to herself, “How many times more; how many times more?”

 

How many times more?
What the…?

 

“… Do you need to get lost before you learn your lesson?” She finished loudly.

 

There.
The kid leader is finding her way again.

 

Taeyeon was walking listlessly. She kept thinking about what Tiffany told her that’s why her mind’s afloat. Her conversation with her best friend haunted her the whole time after they have hung up. Taeyeon was that affected, that concerned.

 

So she kept walking and a halted when she was at a bus stop. Taeyeon waited with the rest of the commuters and rode a bus like most of them. She doesn’t know where that bus is going, exactly what its route is; she just carried herself limply and settled herself at the rear end and sat near the window.

 

Then she tried to play back her conversation with Tiffany. Her best friend was crying most of the time; her words were almost inaudible. Tiffany was almost hysterical saying no one would ever believe her but she’s telling the truth. She sounded desperate and devastated and Taeyeon can feel her pain.

 

Taeyeon’s mind wandered as her heart ached for her best friend. She just kept looking out the window and saw nothing basically. Until she shifted her eyes back inside the bus and saw nothing inside too. She realized she was alone and suddenly got scared.

 

Taeyeon immediately run up to the front, wanting to go down. She was in a panic mode for a bit seeing that she was a lone soul in that moving vehicle and asked the driver if she could get off. They could not understand each other because Taeyeon seemed hyperventilating that she spoke in Korean; of course Driver-san did not understand her and kept on driving. When she realized this blunder, then that’s the time she spoke in Japanese and that’s when Driver-san stepped on the brakes.

 

But Driver-san said she can’t get off because this is not a bus stop. Taeyeon felt more scared and ran to the door, banging it, insisting to get off. It was Driver-San’s turn to get scared so he opened the door.

 

The moment the doors open, she ran as fast as she could without looking back. She ran as if someone was running after her. Poor Driver-san thought a lunatic just rode his bus; he had scratched his head and sighed. Too bad, she’s pretty, he thought.

 

Taeyeon, after getting tired of running, just walked in strides this time. She didn’t care if it was a bit cold and her legs are almost giving up on her, she kept walking. Then she realized she sees nothing now.

 

No buildings.
No houses.
No cars.

 

Only trees.
Few lamp posts.

 

So, hello open road to nowhere.
So, hello darkness.
And hello lost Kim Taeyeon.  

 

She told herself not to panic; she’s used to this. It’s not the first time. Her mind’s traveling back to Seoul but she needed to remember how to go back to the hotel or just to Canal City Hakata and she’d be fine. She was confident she wouldn’t lose her direction because the place was so famous, so big she knew she can just hop into another bus or cab or ride a train to go back.

 

That is, if she can see a bus or a cab or a train. But she sees none. So the poor Kim Taeyeon just kept walking straight; she had those similar looking trees with yellow lights as her mark at first so she kept the confidence of being able to go back.

 

Kim Taeyeon can be prolific in everything except with directions. She can learn everything fast and well except directions. She always gets lost. Her family and friends worry for her and at the same time lose their patience on her over this matter.

 

No matter how much they give her instructions, she still ends up getting lost. GPS lose their credibility courtesy of Ms. Kim Taeyeon. Maps and written instructions for directions don’t come very helpful for the SNSD leader. She’s not stupid or slow; it just seems like her mind processes a different direction from what is given to her.

 

So Taeyeon must always be with someone. She must always travel with somebody or else someone must look for her. There were too many numerous instances that her family had to report to the police a missing Kim Taeyeon. Her family and friends had to call each other to look for her.

 

She missed trips with her friends. She was always late for meet-ups, lunches and dinners with friends if it’s a new place they’re going to, if she’d go alone.

 

An ex-boyfriend once wanted to surprise her and planned a date somewhere outside of Seoul. He was surprised when Taeyeon didn’t show up --- she got lost and had asked another person for directions, her ex-boyfriend back then. Her boyfriend then broke up with her days later.

 

‘Kim Taeyeon is lost’ is nothing new and is something literal. And something her friends and family had grown used to. It has become a common thing and a funny joke even to Taeyeon herself.

 

Taeyeon tries hard to avoid being alone especially when she’s out of the country. It’s for her safety for one, and basically for her to avoid being teased by almost everyone she knows and loves. But today’s another exception; she was too preoccupied thinking about Tiffany and her current predicament that she got lost thinking.

 

Then moments later, the trees that she was confidently and proudly banking that she’d remember, began disappearing. And when she looked back, gone are the trees and gone is her hope. Taeyeon looked for her phone; she had checked the GPS earlier and it’s been working.

 

Only if her phone would turn on.

 

Drained.
Her phone’s battery’s drained.

 

“Kim Taeyeon!” She stomped her foot.

 

Officially lost, she now admitted and declared.
Add that to the tally list. Fukuoka this time around, baby.

 

 

Taeyeon, in times like this, would know how to protect herself. She wore her hoodie down to her eyebrows and got her pepper spray and held it under her pocket.

 

“Here goes nothing.” Taeyeon sighed loudly and walked going back.

 

Going back.
She doesn’t know how to go back.
She just kept walking.

 

It’s too dark.
Too cold.
Too windy.

 

She found an intersection.

 

Damn.
Crossroads.
Left or right?

She hates them the most.
May it be on the road or decisions in life.

 

Left or right? Taeyeon had to sigh again before taking another step. But before she can decide, she heard a voice. Someone’s with her. Taeyeon did not move. Like in horror movies, she looked at that direction to where that voice is coming from. In slow motion.

 

Dugeun. Dugeun.

 

She saw a silhouette of a man walking towards her direction coming from the left. So that made her choose. It’s inevitable.

 

Left or right?
It’s right of course.
Right is right.

 

“Hyung… help me…” The guy spoke. “What do I see? Uhm, black everything. A lighted post; a few plants on the side. No, no, there are no houses. What? I already described what I can see. Oh wait…”

 

The guy paused.

 

“I see a moving something over there. Looks like a person.” He said over the phone. “Hyung… Hyung?”

 

His phone’s dead.
Oh dear.

 

Taeyeon walked faster and her grip on her pepper spray tightened. She tried spraying it underneath to check if it’s working.

 

“Excuse me.” The guy called out in Japanese.

 

Taeyeon ran. Second time she did that evening. She suddenly felt scared. He sounded drunk; his voice did.

 

“Wait, don’t run. I’m lost.” The guy shouted and ran after her. “I need your help.”

 

But Taeyeon was fast so he was chasing her just as fast but couldn’t catch up. It was a bit dark; only a few lamp posts lighting up the road they’re in. Its true what the guy had said, there weren’t even houses nearby. Total abyss. But the frantic Kim Taeyeon kept running, and the guy, apparently, a dragon, kept following her.

 

Fifteen minutes and they’re still on it.
 

Running.
Endless road.
Dark.

 

“Stop. Stop. Please.” The guy called out in Korean.

 

Taeyeon, catching her breath, stopped. She heard him talk in Korean. That person is Korean.

 

“Who are you?” Taeyeon asked in Korean while she kept walking forward.

 

Walking, not running.
Finally.
Just walking.

 

“You’re Korean?” The guy shouted back. He too, was panting.

 

“Who are you?” Taeyeon repeated.

 

“I’m Kwon Jiyong.” He replied, his voice hoarse and tired. “I’m lost. I need help.”

 

Kwon Jiyong.
That name sounds familiar.

 

Lost?
That sounds more familiar.

 

 

The hoodie is gone.
She had let go of the pepper spray.

 

Hello Fukuoka road pavement.
You are one lucky place to be, if you only knew.

 

Kim Taeyeon of SNSD and Kwon Jiyong of BIGBANG sitting next to each other on the now infamous Fukuoka pavement.

 

Where exactly?
Nobody knows.

 

Even the King and Queen of KPOP don’t know either.

 

“Kim Taeyeon.” She extended her hand.

 

“Kim Taeyeon.” He took her hand.

 

She smiled wide; she expected to hear ‘Kwon Jiyong.’

 

Moments of silence.

She tried looking around as if she’s going to see something else apart from the dark abyss.
He tried around as if he’s going to see something else apart from the dark abyss.

 

Until their eyes met.

Its dark and their eyes still met.

 

Darn.

 

“Oh, I’m Kwon Jiyong.” He finally realized he gave her her name instead of his.

 

Oh, awkward.
Oh, sweet.

 

Someone is lost.

Tee-hee.

 

“How did you…” Taeyeon broke the ice; asking him how the hell did he get lost. It’s been an hour since they were sitting in that pavement.

 

“I was with a Japanese friend.” Jiyong told her. “We went out for a drink. He got so drunk, I got him home. Then I was feeling confident, I rode a bus, fell asleep and got off at a wrong stop. I should’ve taken the bus again but I kept walking…”

 

Taeyeon laughed.

 

They had that common thing: Confidence.

Look where it brought them.

 

“What?” Jiyong asked.

 

“Nothing.” Taeyeon answered. “I was confident too; I’d find my way back. I was always like that. Getting lost. Always been lost wherever, everywhere. I just keep walking then everything just looks familiar, or so I thought. I’m always like, ‘I know this… I’ve passed by this…’ but in reality, maybe I really haven’t… And I got lost thinking about something.”

 

Jiyong stared at her.

 

“What?” It was Taeyeon’s turn to ask him that.

 

“It’s as if I’m hearing myself talk.” Jiyong admitted. “I always get lost too. Too much and too often my best friend wanted to have a chip implanted on my body. Tracking device chip or something.”

 

They both laughed; that’s unique.

 

“You must’ve been a headache to your parents up to this age.”

 

“Oh you bet.” Jiyong smiled. “I was almost the perfect son if only I make it on time during our appointments because I didn’t get lost… or I didn’t let them worry because I couldn’t be found.”

 

“You must be my male version.” Taeyeon told him.

 

“My girlfriend’s not going to like that.” He bit his lip, smiling.

 

Smiling.
Flirting.
Something in between.

 

Oh, Jiyong.

 

“Oh.” Taeyeon hit him the in the arm, “I don’t mean that.”

 

Hitting him in the arm.
Flirting.
Something in between, too.

 

Oh, Taeyeon.

 

“What?” Jiyong, lost in translation, asked.

 

“Never mind.” She shook her head, feeling awkward.

 

“So, let’s do something…” He suggested.

 

Do something?

 

It’s late at night.
It’s dark.
It’s cold.
There’s just the two of them.

 

And Jiyong just suggested they should do something. Taeyeon rose up quickly, leaving Jiyong surprised.

 

Taeyeon cleared , “We should better get going. Let’s keep walking, Jiyong.”

 

And the flirting stops.
And the ‘something in the between’ stops.

 

Oh.

It stopped.

 

He stood up after she did. Jiyong felt she must’ve tensed up with what he said. What did he say weird? He just said they should do…

 

Something.

 

What has to be done in that deserted place?

C’mon, nice try Kwon Jiyong.

 

“Taeyeon.” Jiyong followed her behind. “Tell me about yourself.”

 

“What’s this?” Taeyeon hid her smile. It’s not enough that she’s got her back on him. She knew she needed to hide her smile. “A blind date?”

 

“Maybe. Perhaps.” Jiyong kept his pace slow so he still walked behind her. “Tell me about yourself.”

 

Flirting or killing time or finding their way.
Or something in between.
Weird mix, but whatever.

 

So, it continues?
Ho Ho Ho.

 

“Uhm.” Taeyeon hesitated. “I’m the type of person who doesn’t open up to strangers. Doesn’t talk about myself to people I’ve just met… that’s how I am, you?”

 

Nice one, Kim Taeyeon.

 

If Taeyeon had to hide her smile, Jiyong had to hide his laughter. “Me? I’m the type of person who gets intrigued by people who doesn’t open up to strangers; who doesn’t talk themselves to people whom they just met.”

 

“Oh I see.” Taeyeon told him, “It’s nice to know that about you. We’re not exactly strangers, are we? We’ve basically met a lot of times before… music shows, award shows…”

 

Jiyong walked in strides and was next to her in a second, “Tell me about yourself, Kim Taeyeon.”

 

Boy, the dragon is serious.

 

“I am dork.” She laughed.

 

Honestly, she answered that.
What a dork, that Kim Taeyeon.

 

“You, tell me about yourself, Kwon Jiyong.” Taeyeon nudged him, “And don’t tell me you like dorks, you dork.”

 

“I am just a simple guy.”

 

“Bite me.” Taeyeon rolled her eyes.

 

Kwon Jiyong, a simple guy?

How, When, How, which part?

 

“Now?” Jiyong flirted. “Where?”

 

“Shut up.” She hit him in the arm once more.

 

“Seriously.” Jiyong said once more, “I am. I am simple. I eat in Pojangmachas. I wear non-designer clothes if I want to.”

 

“Liar.”

 

“No.” He shook his head.

 

“And all this image?”

 

“Youth.” Jiyong admitted. “And I live up to expectations… I have a reputation and image to uphold, basically.”

 

“Isn’t suffocating?” She asked.

 

“Mmmm.” He nodded.

 

“Your friends are fine with it?” Taeyeon prodded.

 

“Ah, well others care; others do not. But I’m lucky to have the bestest around me…” He admitted. “My best friend knows me well of course. She reads me like a book. You know, Chae-rin? 2-2-2NE1? She’s my best friend. One look, one feel and I get shot by that CL…”

 

“Seunghyun-Hyung beats the sense out me. He’s the real deal, I couldn’t get even with that guy, but he’s pretty messed up right now. If only I could tell you the trouble he’s in, you wouldn’t want to believe it…”

 

“I also have this someone… how do you call that… soulmate?” Jiyong tried to ask Taeyeon, “We don’t need words. We feel each other. Sometimes I ask myself if I’m in love with her or not, but I don’t ever cross on that. I ask myself but I don’t answer… I’m pretty sure, she does the same…”

 

Oh boy, this is getting interesting. Getting-to-know-each-other while walking in the middle of nowhere. And all Taeyeon had said was, “I’m a dork.”

 

“I have a girlfriend. Kiko.” Jiyong smiled. “We’re dating for five years now.”

 

“Whoah! Five?” Taeyeon’s eyes’ widened. “That’s pretty long!”

 

“Yup.” He nodded. “Hey, although I don’t look like it, I know how to keep relationships, alright. Because I am simple. I have simple wants and needs in life. I take care of my parents, my family and my friends. I’m far from G-Dragon of BIGBANG.”

 

“Never thought you’re this strange.” Taeyeon blushed.

 

Thank goodness it’s dark.
It saved the blushing Taeyeon.

 

“Strange?”

 

“I mean cute…” She took it back.

 

She just called a Dragon, cute.
Now, that’s strange.

 

“Cute?” Jiyong was amused. “I was expecting hot.”

 

“I-I-I actually don’t find G-Dragon hot, to be honest.” Taeyeon shyly admitted. She laughed a bit too. “He’s a bit overrated.”

 

“W-wh-what?”

 

“Everything in him is too much.” She continued to laugh. “Head to foot. Sometimes I think people just praise him to get attention themselves.”

 

Jiyong had no words to offer. He was that shocked upon hearing her honesty.

 

“That’s why I found you… strange and cute. But I’m relieved you’re not G-Dragon afterall.” She told him.

 

Taeyeon noticed he didn’t speak anything at all. So she nudged him. “Hey