“Hyung.. hyung, we’re here.” Seungri nudged Jiyong lightly. They had arrived at the hotel. Jiyong didn’t like to be woken up abruptly and Seungri needed him not to be cranky right now, so he tried his best to gently bring him back from the dream world. Jiyong mumbled something unintelligible. “Hyuuung.” Seungri patted his shoulder a bit harder. “You wanna get slapped? HUAK!” Jiyong replied, still fast asleep. Seungri giggled, in part because sleeping Jiyong was so funny and in part because he really was a bit scared he would actually slap him, even though he was asleep. Then Seungri remembered they were on camera, the evil voice of the prankster devil sitting on his shoulder winning over the voice of reason, as it so often did. Seungri got all jittery and excited, he could hardly contain his laughter. He couldn’t believe what he was about to do, but it was too priceless not to. He knew he would have to pay for it later, but that was later. Now was the time to have fun. Besides, this would probably up the ratings so who knew if Jiyong wouldn’t just have to thank him in the end!

Seungri took a deep breath, raising his hand, watching Jiyong’s unsuspecting cheek with an evil twinkle in his eye.

~~~~~

“OOOOUCH!!!!” Jiyong’s cheek felt like it was on fire. He looked at Seungri, so shocked he couldn’t see straight. Seungri hid his hand behind his back, his eyes expressing great amusement and utter terror at the same time. Oh, he should be scared! What on Earth possessed him to be this audacious? Did he really think he was going to just let this go? He had slapped him in the face! Slapped him!! Never in a million years would he have expected this from Seungri. He still couldn’t believe it, but the lingering tingling in his cheek was living proof. What had gotten into him? Jiyong had almost slapped him right back as a reflex, but had managed to stop himself. He was not going to let his image get dragged through the mud by Seungri. Seungri could dig his own grave and lie in it too, alone.

He rubbed his cheek lightly, it stung a bit. He could see Seungri was still holding his breath, terrified, waiting for Jiyong to respond to his rude wake-up-tactics. Oh, he was going to be scary alright, just not the type of scary Seungri was expecting. The unknown would scare him even more, right?

“Oh honey, thanks for waking me up, you’re always so thoughtful.” he batted his eyelashes at Seungri, taking the role of the wife two steps too far. Seungri stared at him in surprise. Hah! As he had thought, this way would freak him out way more than yelling at him. “Come on babe, let’s not keep the driver waiting. Out we go!” Jiyong fake-giggled as he nudged Seungri’s shoulder, indicating he should get out of the car. He made it look like a gentle nudge but he really dug his fingers into the back of Seungri’s shoulder, an area not visible from the camera.

“Oh, he he, of course” Seungri replied, more than shocked, but he kept his composure, not showing any signs of pain at all. Ah, he was quick on the uptake. Seungri chuckled dramatically as he helped Jiyong out of the car, “Sweetie, I can’t believe we’re really here, on our honeymoon no less!” Seungri was so full of it, he was totally out of control. Jiyong couldn’t wait to find a spot not covered by a camera. He was going to give him an earful, and then some!

As he got out of the car, Seungri’s hand, which had pretended to innocently lend its help, suddenly pulled him towards him so that he half-tripped and ended face first in Seungri’s welcoming arms. Two VJs jumped out of the car behind them to get a better shot of the accidental hug. Well played, Seungri, well played.

As Seungri embraced him, all giddy and drunk on power, the anger bubbling inside of Jiyong threatened to boil over. We are on camera, there are camera’s everywhere, Jiyong told himself repeatedly. Seungri’s arm tightened around Jiyong as he buried his face into Jiyong’s shoulder, his cold nose tickling his neck. Oh wow, wasn’t this a bit much, huh? And why was his nose so cold? Was he cold? Were his clothes not thick enough to keep him warm? Ah, if he wasn’t careful he could catch a cold. Jiyong bit his lip.

Jiyong tried to hold onto his blinding rage, but having that silly cuddle-bear in his arms was making it impossible. Why did he have to be so cute and cuddly? Jiyong also knew that he was acting out to test his boundaries, he didn’t really mean anything bad by it. He was the type of person that had difficulty with authority, yet craved structure and order. That’s why Jiyong kept Seungri's leash short at all times, for both their benefits. That was the only way they could both feel safe.

Jiyong opened the door to their hotel room and was about to enter when Seungri yelled “Wait!”, tugging on his sleeve. What was it now? “We just got married!” the smirk that was already decorating Seungri's lips grew bigger. What was he going on about? “I can't very well neglect my husbandly duties on the first day, can I? Not when I aim to be the best husband ever!” Seungri chuckled happily. Oh god. Please don't let him be talking about...

Seungri always had to do his best at everything he started, which normally Jiyong thought was a great quality, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. Surely he realized it was a fake marriage which required no consummation. Even though it technically was their wedding night, there had been no wedding! In all likelihood he was kidding, but that wasn't necessarily good news either. Please, please, please don't say anything embarrassing or shocking, Jiyong silently pleaded.

Seungri was smiling from ear to ear, clearly battling with a burst of laughter that was threatening to escape his lips. He took a step closer, invading Jiyong's personal space. What was he planning to do? Not kiss him?! Jiyong's gut retracted into a tiny knot. He could feel as every single one of his cells got tense. Fine. There was no elegant way of stopping it, so he would just have to bear with it. He shut his eyes extra tight, holding his breath. How would it feel to kiss a boy for the first time? Would it be different from kissing a girl? Did different rules apply? Ah, why hadn't he researched a bit what it meant to be gay before going along with this nonsense? He swallowed. His hand was trembling, he tried to keep it steady so nobody would notice.

“Waaaa!” Jiyong screeched like a girl. He was suddenly floating in mid air. Seungri had literally swept him off his feet, holding him in his arms like a newly wed bride. He could see he was struggling with the weight, his face turning a darker shade of red as he took a tiny step in the direction of the doorway. He swayed under the weight, his arms, and consequently Jiyong as well, shaking like a leaf on a windy autumn morning. Jiyong was so scared Seungri would accidentally drop him on the floor, he put his arms tightly around his neck, hanging on for dear life, like a baby monkey would his mother. Pearls of sweat were gathering on the back of Seungri's neck as he struggled to get them over the threshold.

“You don't have to do this.” Jiyong whispered into Seungri's ear. Since Seungri was already using all his strength, he had none left to answer, but Jiyong could feel him get even more determined after hearing Jiyong's plea. Oh Seungri, always with the reverse psychology. Stubborn little brat, Jiyong thought lovingly.

“YAAAAHHH!” Seungri let out a scream of victory as he crossed the threshold. Jiyong had turned red out of embarrassment, being carried into a hotel room like an innocent bride on her wedding night. He hid his face in his hand, giggling helplessly in Seungri's arms. “Honey, we're home!” Seungri exclaimed as he carefully put Jiyong down, completely out of breath. “It's true what they say, muscles are heavier than fat!” Seungri wiped the sweat off his forehead, exhausted. “Haha, shut up! You just have to work out more, get some strength in those puny little arms of yours.” Jiyong snickered, jiggling one of Seungri's arms to and fro. Seungri gave him a death stare but was too tired to think up a good comeback. In all honesty, Jiyong was really impressed. As much for pulling off this tremendous feat as for coming up with the idea. Seungri was way better than him at variety.

The two VJs had left them, so now it was only the two of them and the countless fixed cameras in the hotel room. They exchanged sheepish looks, what now? While Seungri caught his breath on the sofa, Jiyong took a look around. “No way!” Jiyong came running back to the living room, “There's only one bed!!”. For a split second he could see terror in Seungri's eyes, but he was quick to turn it to his advantage. “Well, of course honey, it's not like we're going to be doing that much sleeping anyway..” he said with a slick sugary voice, winking sleazily at Jiyong. What a player! Two could play at that game! Jiyong decided the only way to teach Seungri a lesson would be to beat him at his own game. He smirked at the thought, Seungri was going down!

“Yeobo, yeobo! Let's go to bed then.” Jiyong giggled obnoxiously, sending Seungri an 'it's your move' look. “Oh yes, let's!” Seungri clearly thought he still had the upper hand. He stood up and lead the way to the bedroom. Jiyong hated losing, so there was no way he was backing down. As they entered the bedroom, they exchanged knowing looks and at the exact same time, they ran towards the bed, jumping into it, pulling the covers all the way over their heads.

“Oh, yeobo!”

“Oh, hyung!”

“Is it off?” Seungri whispered. “Yeah.” Jiyong surfaced from under the covers, having turned off the camera with the remote control that had been on the nightstand. “Haha people are going to freak!” Seungri snickered, having the time of his life. “Don't you think we went a bit too far?” Jiyong worried, “Aaahhh, it's all your fault, you little mongrel! Egging me on like that!”. Seungri just grinned.

They washed up and got ready for bed, tomorrow was going to be a big day so they'd better get some rest. Jiyong crawled under the covers, the tiredness settling into his bones, making them heavier than usual. Seungri grabbed his pillow and turned to leave. Jiyong just managed to get a hold of his wrist, “Where are you going?”. “I'll sleep on the couch.” Seungri offered. “Haha no way!” Jiyong pulled him into bed, treating him like a big fluffy teddy bear. He knew he hated it, but it was his punishment for all the stunts he had pulled today. Jiyong wrapped his arms and legs around him, cuddling him as he drifted off to the dream dimension.