Never There

I Got A Feeling

You sighed as you sat on your luggage, waiting for someone who may or may not even remember that he needed to pick you up. After the call ended, you carried your luggages to a row of empty seats and decided to wait there.

You were confused and frustrated about who the person on the phone was. Obviously you wouldn't know, but why did he have Raehwan's phone? 

You looked down at your phone and kept clicking it on and off out of boredom until someone called out your name. You felt relieved, thinking that Raehwan has finally come to pick you up. You turned around and saw a man running towards a little girl. 

*Never mind.* You hung your head low and turned to face forward again. *Where is he? It's been one hour.*

"Jihyo!" 

You sighed and ignored the voice, assuming that it was probably someone else again. 

"Jihyo!"

You grabbed your purse from the seat beside you and slipped your phone into it, resting the purse on your lap.

"Yah! Kim Jihyo! How dare you ignore me!" 

You felt curious about what was happening and why the man was yelling. Finally, you turned around to look at where the voice was coming from. Your eyes widened as you saw Raehwan standing a few feet away from you.

"Oppa!" You dropped your purse back to the seat beside you and jumped up to run towards Raehwan. 

He chuckled as you tackled him into a hug, catching him off guard and causing the both of you to slightly stumble. 

"Yah! What took you so long? I miss you!" You yelled into his shoulder as you wrapped your arms tighter around him.

Ever since you were young, Raehwan was like an older brother to you. When his mother died, your uncle and Raehwan moved in to live with your family after your mother offered to help raise Raehwan. Since your uncle was your mothers brother, your father happily took them into the house and since then, you've grown closer to Raehwan. 

"I'm sorry Jihyo! I didn't mean to come so late. The car was running out of gas and I had to go to the closest gas station which was still far away. What made it even worse was that the gas station I went to only accepted cash. So I had no choice but to run to a nearby bank to get cash. Trust me, I did everything to get here as quickly as possible." Raehwan explained as he pulled away from you.

You noticed that his hair was everywhere and that his clothes were messy. You smiled and fixed his hair for him, making sure that it was neat.

"It's okay oppa." You told him. Suddenly, the phone call entered your mind again.

"Oppa, do you have your phone?" You asked him while you lead him to where your luggages were.

He shook his head. "No. I was looking for it when I got here but I couldn't find it. Why?" 

"Because when I called your phone," You stopped walking to face him. "A guy answered it and called me babe."

"What?" Raehwan's eyes slightly widened.

"I called your phone so many times and when someone answered it, it was a guy. He even called me babe." You looked at him innocently. 

"Give me your phone." He held out his hand. 

You ran to your purse and took your phone out, handing it to Raehwan afterwards. You saw him dial his number before putting the phone to his ear. He signalled for you to wait as he walked a few feet away from you. You could hear him yelling into the phone with an angry expression on his face. You cringed everytime he yelled and tried to put your attention elsewhere.

When he was done, he walked back and placed your phone back into your hands.

"What happened?" You asked him. 

He sighed and shook his head. "It's nothing. Just my friend being stupid. Don't worry about it." He gave you a reassuring smile. 

You tilted your head to the side. *I wonder who his friend is. Also, why did he call me babe?*

He walked towards your lugagges and you could see his eyes scanning over them.

"Why did you bring so much stuff?" He asked as he turned to look at you. "I thought you were just visiting."

You bit your lip. You hadn't exactly told Raehwan the real reason why you came back to Korea because you didn't think it was necessary for him to know. You smiled and shrugged, causing him to raise an eyebrow at you.

You rolled your eyes and placed a hand on your hip. "I'm a girl oppa. I have my needs."

"Alot of needs." He added as he bent down to carry your luggages. He left one luggage for you to bring yourself as he started walking away from you.

"Yah! Oppa! Wait!" You called out to him while grabbing your purse and luggage. 

You ran after him and smiled as you saw him look over his shoulder at you. He winked and continued to walk forward. You chuckled and shook your head at his behaviour.

"We just need to go to my school first okay Jihyo? It's about an hour away from here." Raehwan told you as the two of you walked out of the airport and towards the parking lot.

"Okay oppa. That's fine." 

The two of you reached his car and he swiftly placed all your luggages into the trunk before sitting into the drivers seat. You sat into the passenger seat and looked at him in awe while he started the car.

"Why are you staring at me?" He spoke without looking at you. 

You smiled. "It's cool that you can drive now. I still remember the day that you were learning how to ride a bike and you whined everytime you fell down." You giggled at the memory.

"Yah." Raehwan looked at you in disbelief. "I never whined! I was just frustrated."

"Sure you were." You smirked at him. 

He glared at you. "Shut up or I'll leave you here." 

"Yes sir!" You grinned as you sat up straight and gave him a salute. 

He chuckled and shook his head at you. *Still the same old Jihyo. Weird and cute.* He smiled at the thought and began to reverse the car and drive away from the airport.

Once Raehwan turned the radio on, you felt yourself begin to relax into the seat as you let the music flow into your ears. You closed your eyes and smiled, happy to be back where you belong. Though you were happy, you still felt worried aboutt how your father and Donghyun would react after seeing you. *Will they hate me? Will they still accept me as family?* And with worry running through you, you slowly fell asleep.

Raehwan glanced over at you during a red light and smiled at the sleeping sight of you. He turned to look at the road again after the light turned green.

He sighed as he thought of the time that you left Korea. When he found out that you were leaving Korea for good and never coming back, he almost went into depression. You were like the little sister he wanted to protect forever. Without you by his side, he couldn't help but feel worried about you.

*When you left Jihyo, the light in our lives left as well.* He remembered all the bad things that have happened since you've left. Each time him or Donghyun felt sad, they would always look for you. But you weren't there. The one who suffered the most was Donghyun. Thinking of him, Raehwan wondered about how his cousin will feel upon knowing that you are finally back. 

Though a few years later, Raehwan was able to get in contact with you again thanks to his father. Either way, Raehwan still felt alone.

Now that you were back in Korea, he was relieved and happy. But he still couldn't shake the feeling of worry off him. 

"What if she doesn't like it here?" He whispered to himself as he skillfully drove along the road. "I hope everything will be okay. I don't want any trouble. Especially since all we've ever experienced was trouble."

After an hour or so of driving, Raehwan finally reached the school and parked in front of a nearby building. He turned to look at you and saw that you were still soundly asleep. *So adorable.* He smiled and turned his attention back to the entrance of the school, seeing students walking out since the day was over. 

Finally, he saw the person he was waiting for. Raehwan growled and stepped out of the car, walking towards the oblivious Feeldog. 

"Yah! Oh Gwangsuk!" He yelled when he was a few feet away from Feeldog. 

Feeldog turned to look at direction the voice came from. *Oh .* His eyes widened at the sight of an angry Raehwan walking towards him.

"Let me explain---" Raehwan cut him off as he grabbed Feeldog's backpack and started dragging him towards the car. 

"Raehwan-ah! Please don't be mad. I was just fooling around." Feeldog was desperate to be let out of Raehwan's grip. He tried to struggle out of it but failed each time.

"You better explain everything when we get to the house." 

Once they reached the car, Raehwan pushed him into the backseat and slammed the door shut. You woke up to the sound of Raehwan slamming his door shut as well. You looked at him in confusion before turning around to find a boy sitting in the backseat. 

You raised an eyebrow at him. "Who are you?"

Feeldog smirked as he instantly knew who you were. *Looking through all those pictures was worth it.* He scanned your face and tried to get a glimpse of your body. *Even better than the pictures.* He chuckled before looking up into your eyes.

"Hey babe. You can call me Feeldog." He smiled cutely at you. 

Your eyes widened in surprise. "Y-y-yah! Why are you calling me that?" You could feel yourself blush out of embarrassment. "You don't even know me!" 

Feeldog chuckled at your behaviour. *Cute.* He continued to smile at you.

"Shut up and stop calling her babe!" Raehwan yelled and glared at Feeldog through the rearview mirror.

Feeldog raised his hands up in defense. "I didn't do anything." 

"Whatever. You and your bull." Raehwan rolled his eyes and turned the engine on and began to drive.

You looked at Feeldog one last time before turning to face the front.

The car ride was silent. The radio was turned off and no one dared to talk. Once in awhile, you would look at Feeldog through the rearview mirror. He was staring out the window, obviously bothered by something.

You began to look over his features. He had shiny black hair, his uniform top was opened and he had a white wife beater on, his lips were big and slightly plump, he had flawless skin, and the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen. You couldn't help but find him handsome.

*Yah! Kim Jihyo! What are you thinking? You don't even know him!* You mentally slapped yourself and turned away from the mirror to look out the window.

After awhile of driving, you finally reached your house. You stared at the small house, feeling your heart slowly start to beat faster. *There it is. Home sweet home.* 

Raehwan looked at you in worry. "You okay?" He asked. Feeldog looked at you as well. 

You nodded and showed him a smile. "I'm okay." You opened the door and stepped out of the car, the two boys following afterwards.

Feeldog watched as you took small steps towards the house. He raised an eyebrow at you. *What's her problem?* 

"Yah. Help me with her bags." Raehwan pushed him towards the back of the car. 

You stopped a few feet away from the door and stared up at the all too familiar house. *Kim Jihyo, you're finally home.*

Raehwan walked passed you while Feeldog stopped to stand beside you. You didn't feel him standing there as you were to focused on staring at the house. Feeldog his lips and slightly nudged you. 

"What are you doing here? Go inside." He told you before walking ahead into the house. 

You bit your lip as you slowly followed. Once you stepped into the house, you noticed that everything was the same. You could see your childhood running through your mind as you stepped into the living room. *I missed this place so much...* You could feel tears forming in your eyes.

Raehwan and Feeldog placed your luggages by the stairs as they watched you look around the living room. Not knowing anything other than the fact that you were Raehwan's cousin, Feeldog was confused about everything. 

*Why does she look so happy? Why did Raehwna have to pick her up at airport? Where was she before?* Feeldog couldn't stop the questions from running through his mind. 

"Raehwan hyung? What's going on?" You heard a voice from behind you. 

You turned around and saw a boy standing beside your cousin by the stairs. *Donghyun-ah...* You felt happiness fill your heart at the sight of your little brother.

"Donghyun-ah!" You yelled as you ran towards him, pulling him in for a tight hug. 

To your surprise, Donghyun didn't return the hug. After a few seconds, you pulled away to look at him. He had a blank expression on his face.

"Donghyun-ah, it's me... Jihyo noona." You showed him a small smile. *Please don't tell me you don't remember me anymore.* 

His face slowly showed anger as he moved away from you. "What are you doing here?" He asked you. 

The question caught you off guard. "I'm back. I promised you remember? I told you I would come back. Noona promised you that she would be back."

He glared at you. "You broke that promise years ago." 

"What do you mean? I don't understand." You tried to grab his hand but he pulled away. You could see tears forming in his eyes.

"After appa told me that you and umma were never going to come back, you instantly broke the promise. You chose to go with her! You left me to go with her! The woman who decided to leave our appa all because she fell out of love with him! You left me and appa to live in sadness!" He yelled at you.

*That's not true.* You felt angry at how Donghyun was assuming everything.

"That's not true." You spoke your thoughts. "I never chose to le---" Donghyun cut you off.

"Bull!" Donghyun yelled as his hands turned into fists. "You're lying!" 

You stepped back in shock.

"Why did you leave then?" You could feel anger radiating from his body.

You stayed silent, not knowing what to answer.

He looked down towards the ground as more tears slid down his face.

"Do you know all the troubles I had to face? I always had to see and hear appa cry and I was made fun of in school. I was known as the loner. I had nobody! Whenever I felt down, the time I needed someone, where were you?" He looked up at you.

You felt your heart break at the sight of your brother crying.

"You were never there." Donghyun whispered. 

You felt like a thousand knives was stabbing your heart at that moment. You tried to reach out again but he turned away and started walking up the stairs. He stopped by a door but didn't turn to face you. You looked at him, the tears in your eyes threatening to fall out. 

"You are not my noona and you will never be my noona again." You heard him say. "I hate you Kim Jihyo." He added before entering the room and slamming the door shut. 

With that, the tears in your eyes began to fall down. 

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Comments

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Pl004_ #1
Chapter 15: i don't usually comment on stories but, please update this story, it's really good
Happy123098 #2
Chapter 14: So uh, when will you update?¿
Changjoluver #3
Chapter 15: I want an update!! Great story!! There aren't alot of feeldog(bigstar) fanfics so i really enjiy this!! please update soon!!!
TaehyunVindex
#4
I love this story so much it's so hard to find any bigstar fanfics let alone a good one like this. love the story please update soon author-nim
-notyourself #5
Chapter 15: onfg im loving this manic please update
Mylifeiskpop99 #6
Chapter 15: Omg im scared!
Inspirit77
#7
nice story!
Denisse1118 #8
update soon pleaseeee!!!!!!
eunmi-ya
#9
Chapter 15: woah feeldog u're just so mean -___-