(Yoo-mi)

“Surprise!” everyone cried out as Christine and I entered the apartment. We were greeted with flashing lights and confetti pieces being flung into our face. Everyone was smiling and cheering. When 2AM had said they’d be having a dinner party, we figured it would be just us as usual, not a giant mass of 2AM, 2PM, and the Wonder Girls – all of our sunbaes. We were more than happy for everyone’s enthusiasm but we were a bit overwhelmed.

“Thanks guys,” I said as I embraced everyone. “You guys didn’t have to do this for us.”

“Oh yes, we did!” Kwon exclaimed. “How can we not celebrate the release of your new song? It’s going to be monumental!”

I grinned. It was nice to know our work was appreciated. Christine and I had been working hard on our new song. It was titled “First Kiss” and it was our second release. “8282” had been popular but it didn’t grant us the success we wanted. We had high hopes on this new song. It didn’t help that manager packed on the stress during the rehearsals and the recording sessions for the song. If anything, it just made our expectations higher and we wanted to finally be recognized for our hard work. Even with our debut, we still had a lot of free time. We were still able to go out on the streets without being recognized and our free time wasn’t scarce like our sunbaes. Not that Christine and I were complaining about the freedom; it was great. But it hurt to know it was because we weren’t exactly “famous” yet.

Kwon slid his arm around my shoulder and led me towards the table filled with decadent, steaming food.

“C’mon Yoo-mi! You should eat something instead of just standing there!” He handed me a plate and a rice bowl. “Dig in! It’s all for Christine and you!”

I thanked him and observed the feast laid out in front of me. 2AM had prepared various dishes for the party. There was succulent shrimp sautéed in onions, garlic and ginger. A plate of hot kimchi was set in the middle and I felt my tongue burn already just by looking at it. Noodles of some sort were also served, but they were decorated with green onions and mixed with delicious vegetables such as cabbage, carrots and bean sprouts. There was so much food…I didn’t know where to start and so little stomach to put it all. Then there, at the end of the table, I spotted the one food that I always craved – the sweet potato. My mouth watered at the sight of it. I turned towards Changmin and smiled. I knew he was the cook of 2AM and knew perfectly well that he had prepared the sweet potato just for me. It was obvious that he took special care in preparing it just right. I scurried over to the sweet potato -  it was the only one left. I took a whiff and I nearly died from the sweet smell. I reached to grab it and place it on my plate when it was suddenly whisked away. My eyes widened and I felt the rage at the loss of my beloved sweet potato. I would strangle the person who had dared to steal it from me. I rounded on the person who had the audacity to take it. I glared -  it was Chansung, the turnip head.

I poked him fiercely as he prepared to take a bite of my sweet potato. “Hey!”

He blinked and removed the sweet potato away from his mouth. “Hey, yourself.”

I poked him again. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

He glanced down to his plate then back to me. “Uh…eating?”

I poked him yet again and glared. “I can see that. But what are you doing eating MY sweet potato?”

Chansung scoffed. “Your sweet potato? I don’t see your name on it. Besides, Hyung made it for me.”

“No…” I fumed. “He made it for me!” I made a grab for the plate and pulled. “Now give it back!”

Chansung pulled back the plate. “No way! This is mine! You’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you steal my food.”

I tugged back. “No! MY SWEET POTATO! HANDS OFF!”

“No…” he pulled. “It’s MINE!”

“MINE!” and tugged back, gripping his arm and ensnaring it within my death grip. “LET GO!” He jerked back and managed to escape my grip. He scoffed and took a massive bite of my sweet potato.

“Mine now,” he mumbled with his mouth full of the goodness that was supposed to be mine. With another bite, he walked away, leaving me in my misery and utter defeat. I was beyond furious. The one thing I wanted was gone and in the stomach of a giant turnip. That thief! I’d make him pay for his action. And to think, I found him slightly charming when I had met him at my pre-debut photo shoot. I mean, he was observing me during the whole shoot and after I had finished taking all my pictures, he chatted with me. He seemed nice enough and cute. I had expected him to say something to me after we met again, but no. He ignored me. I had figured it was because he was shy but now I knew he was just a giant, sweet potato stealing jerk. I had no interest in him whatsoever. I sauntered off and plopped onto the couch. I wasn’t in the mood for food anymore. I glanced at Christine and found that she was conversing with Jinwoon, blushing wildly as she always did when she was with him. I smirked and wondered if she had made her big confession yet. Christine and I had a made a bet earlier in the month concerning her little infatuation with Jinwoon. In fact, it was right after I had caught her and Khun lying on the hallway floor, when we made the fateful bet. It was after one of my meetings with Jay when I went searching for Christine. Manager had called, begging me to find Christine for Christine wasn’t answering her phone and she was nowhere to be found. I was slightly peeved that I had to cut my time with Jay short, considering I had begun to enjoy our times together, but still…what manager said usually had to be done immediately. When I informed Jay of my new task, he offered to assist me but I declined. Having him search with me would just be distracting and if manager found out I had been meeting with him in secret, she’d kill us both. As I searched for Christine, I thought about my meetings with Jay. Lately, I had been thinking more about him and actually looked forward to the days when I could hang out with him. I couldn’t ignore the fact that every time I saw him, my heartbeat quickened and I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Could I possibly be developing feelings for Jay? I disregarded it. It was probably nothing. Jay was just a close friend nothing more. I blamed the feelings of anxiety on nerves and that it was probably because I was afraid manager would catch us. Yep, it was all just nerves…

I was in the farthest corner of the JYP building when I found Christine. And I didn’t just find her, but I found her underneath Nichkhun. It was an odd scene to come across. When I appeared, it was hard to tell who was more embarrassed to be caught: Christine or Nichkhun. Immediately, Christine jumped up and scurried to my side. She was blushing as red as a tomato. I snickered at her discomfort and informed her that manager had been looking for her. When I tried to about her predicament, she tugged me away, leaving the flustered Nichkhun on the floor. As we walked away, I questioned Christine about what I encountered.

“What was that about, Christi?” I asked. “I thought you hated Khun.”

“I never said I hated him, Yoo-mi,” she replied. She was avoiding eye contact. “I just found him creepy that’s all…”

I poked her side and . “I bet you don’t find him creepy anymore considering that little spectacle I just witnessed.”

“IT WAS NOTHING!” Christine protested. “I was merely trying to get my phone back. The creep stole it from me.”

I raised an eyebrow.” Right…whatever you say, Christine.”

“I said it was NOTHING!” she replied. When I responded with a look of disbelief, she groaned. “Why don’t you believe me?! It was nothing, I swear!”

I laughed. “I never said I didn’t believe you. Besides, why do you need to explain yourself if you say it was nothing?” Christine remained silent and began to walk away. I laughed some more and ran to catch up to her. “Hey, why are you so quiet all of a sudden?”

Christine glared at me. “Screw you, Yoo-mi. I hate you.”

I laughed. “You know you love me. You can never hate me.”

“That’s why I hate you,” she replied. “Because I can’t hate you.”

I grinned and poked her again. “So do you like him now?”

“Who? You mean, Khun?” I nodded and she scowled. “I thought I told you, nothing happened!”

“I wasn’t asking what happened. I was asking if you like him or not, Christi,” I replied. “Besides he almost kissed you back there and that is definitely not nothing.”

Christine sighed. “It meant nothing. It was nothing. I don’t like him…at all.” She paused. “I mean, I like him as a friend, but nothing more. He’s not my type. He’s too…too…what’s the word…”

“Perfect?” I suggested.

“Yes!” Christine exclaimed. “That’s it! He’s too perfect. Too much perfection is creepy. So to answer your question, no, I don’t like him.”

I looked at her skeptically and laughed. “Sure, whatever you say.”

“It’s true!” Christine argued. “Plus you already know who I like.”

“Speaking of Jinwoon,” I replied. “Have you told him you like him yet?”

Christine blushed and turned away. “…No…” I laughed and Christine punched me in the arm. “SHUT UP! It’s hard to confess such things you know…”

I shook my head. “No, it just proves you don’t have the balls to confess.”

“I DO HAVE THE BALLS!” Christine shouted.

I stared at her for a second and burst out laughing. Christine turned even more red and punched me yet again. “Ouch,” I laughed. “So violent today…”

“Shut up, Yoo-mi,” Christine mumbled. “You know what I meant…”

“Are you sure?” I laughed. “Or do you really have balls?”

Christine huffed at me and stalked away. I laughed before catching up to her. “Hey, I was just kidding, Christi.”

She scoffed. “Whatever. You’re just a troll who likes to make my life miserable.”

I smiled and patted her arm. “You bring it on yourself you know.”

Christine glared and sighed. “Yeah, okay…”

“So when are you going to confess to Jinwoon exactly? Or are you too afraid to do so?”

Christine sighed. “I don’t know. It’s difficult to say. But I do have the courage to tell him and I’ll tell him soon.”
“When is ‘soon’ exactly?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I guess…next time I see him?”

I laughed. “Yeah right you’ll tell him the next time you see him! You start stuttering like crazy whenever you’re around him.”

Christine protested. “I do not! I can speak coherently. I just…tend to miss my articulations a bit…that’s all.”

I snickered. “How about we make a bet?”

“A bet on what?” she asked.

“A bet on whether you can tell Jinwoon or not. Kwon told me there’s some dinner party he’s holding at the end of the month. You can tell Jinwoon then. If you don’t tell him, you have to do chores for a month. And if you do tell him, I’ll do chores for a month.”

Christine pondered on it for a moment. “A month of chores?”

I nodded. “Dishes, laundry, sweeping, dusting, you name it. All the chores being done by the loser for a month.”

Christine smirked and stuck out her hand. “Fine, you’re on. I hope you enjoy doing chores for a month, Yoo-mi.”

I laughed and shook her hand. “Oh we’ll see, Christi. We’ll see.”

So here we were at the party and I wanted to know if Christine had revealed her true feelings already. I strolled over to where she and Jinwoon were standing. They were laughing about something and the something seemed pretty hilarious since Christine was nearly keeling over from laughter.

“Hey guys,” I greeted. “What’s so funny?”

Jinwoon just smiled at Christine as she kept on laughing. “It’s nothing, Yoo-mi,” he answered. “I was just telling Christi about something funny that happened.”

“Oh,” I replied. “I see.”

“So how have you been, Yoo-mi?” Jinwoon asked.

“I’ve been okay,” I replied. “I could be better, but at least all the release of the single stress is done and over with.”

Jinwoon nodded. “I know how you feel. All that stress is a killer.”

“So,” I smirked at Christine. “Has Christi told you anything yet?”

Christine paled and glared at me as Jinwoon glanced at her. “Told me what?”

Christine tried to brush it off. “Uh…it’s nothing, Oppa. I’ll tell you later.”

Jinwoon shook his head. “No, tell me now. What is it?”

“It’s uh…uhm…” Christine blanked.

Then suddenly, a tinkling of glasses rang throughout the room. We all turned to the source of the noise and found it was Kwon, holding up a glass.

“Attention!” he called out. “Attention please!” Everyone stopped what they were doing and focused on the 2AM leader. He smiled. “Thank you! Now, as you all know, this whole dinner celebration is in honor of our fellow label artists, Yoo-mi and Christine. They recently released their newest single and we are all super proud of them.” Cheers and hollers ensued and everyone turned to smile at us. Kwon silenced the party again and raised his glass towards us.

“Congratulations guys and I hope you guys earn the recognition you deserve! CHEERS!”

“Cheers!” Everyone cried out.

Christine and I smiled. It was nice to know we were loved by our sunbaes. They were our support and motivation during the brutal training. They were our personal role models and idols -  living proof that we could make it in this industry. We were going to miss them so much. After the release of our new single, JYP Ahjusshi had called us into his office. He congratulated us on our hard work, saying we were definitely one of his greatest finds. However, I had a feeling that the meeting wasn’t about our newly released record. Ahjusshi told us that even though we were working exceptionally hard, our work wasn’t getting the publicity that was expected of us. So he informed us, that he would be sending us to Japan to see if we could make it in the Japanese market. Considering our background, he said Japan was the perfect place for us and that it was much better. But I knew that even with his kind words and encouragements, we were considered complete failures. We weren’t as popular as our sunbaes. JYP just didn’t know what to do with us anymore. However, I was slightly relieved that we were being sent to Japan. Japan was my second home – my comfort place. Not to mention, Christine and I were fluent in Japanese. We’d have no problem adjusting to the environment. We had lived in Japan before. It wasn’t like here in Korea where it was an unknown country. Despite our stay here, Korea never really grew on me. There were many times when I wanted to give up, pack up my bags and go home…but there was always something holding me back. I actually enjoyed the idea of being a performer. I loved the cheers of the crowd, the calls of the fans, the music and occasionally the dancing, but I loved it nonetheless. I loved the feeling of warmth performing instilled in me. It was exhilarating.  The money and fame didn’t matter to me. It was the experience and the feeling of accomplishment that hooked me to becoming a performer. But regardless of the warm, fuzzy feelings I got, I still felt like all the hardships weren’t worth it. I didn’t feel like killing myself over something that could disappear within seconds. Still, I kept pursuing this dream because I wasn’t the only one involved in this. I had another person’s dream to consider. Christine risked so much to be here. I couldn’t ruin her dream like that. So I endured…we endured. Yet our efforts weren’t enough and here we were, being shipped off to Japan, in the hopes of making it there. Christine and I knew that if we failed to achieve success in Japan, any hope of becoming idols would disappear. We’d go home as failures and such disgrace and shame would not be acceptable. So we needed to kick in Japan.

“So,” Kwon tapped me on the shoulder. “Anything you guys want to say?”

I nodded. “Actually, Oppa,” I pulled Christine beside me. “We have an announcement to make.” It was time to tell everyone that we’d be leaving soon.

“Oh?” Kwon inquired and he silenced everyone. “Go ahead, Yoo-mi.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. “Christine and I…are leaving for Japan.” I paused. “We leave in two weeks.” I glanced around and everyone was in complete shock. Jaws were hanging open and people were whispering around. Kwon looked like he was about to drop his drink while Changmin and Seulong stood there – paralyzed. Jinwoon was staring at us sadly. The Wonder Girls were chatting away and shaking their heads. The members of 2PM just stood there, silently taking all of it in. Certain members had more shocked faces than most but the one face that took me by surprise was Jay’s. He was staring at me with a blank expression but it was his eyes that revealed the true feelings. They were full of sadness, shock, and anger. His stare burned through me and he never dropped his gaze from me. I turned away from the shock of his reaction. My heart was beating rapidly and I felt like my cheeks were on fire. What was going on? Why was he staring at me like that? I didn’t know why, but his stare…it left me confused…

Everyone surrounded us within seconds. They were fussing over us and attacking us with smothering hugs. I felt like smacking each of them in the face. We weren’t leaving yet…

Jinwoon pulled Christine aside and I watched them as they spoke. I felt bad for Christine. Even if she did confess, it wouldn’t do any good for her or for him. If Jinwoon felt the same way, they couldn’t be together. Our time in Japan was indefinite. We didn’t know how long we’d be there and if we’d ever come back.

The mass of people surrounding me was beginning to make me feel suffocated. I could hardly breathe. I needed to get out of this crowd. Suddenly, I felt someone yank my arm and I was being dragged out of the crowd. I turned to the captor of my arm and discovered it to be Jay. He was pulling me away and into one of the secluded rooms. He shoved me inside. Now, I was grateful for Jay for saving me, but I was not grateful for being pushed around. I jerked my arm away and glared at him.

“What the hell, Jay?!” I protested. “You can’t just push me around just because you feel like it! Who do you think – “

“Don’t go,” he mumbled. His eyes held the same expression from before, but they were pleading with me this time. I was taken aback. I didn’t expect such a response from him.

“What do you mean…?”

He gripped my shoulders and stared intently. “Don’t go to Japan. You can’t…”

I just stared back at him. I was confused. What did he mean by “don’t go”? “I don’t understand, Jay…”

His grip on me tightened. “Don’t go to Japan. Please. Stay here. I beg of you…”

I shook him off. “I can’t,” I replied. “Christine and I…we have to go…”

“No, you don’t!” He exclaimed. “You can stay here. Christine can go by herself.”

I shook my head and sighed. “You fail to understand that Christine and I are a team. If she goes, I go. That’s what being in a duo means.”

He shook his head. “Well then go solo. Become a solo artist and stay here, Yoo-mi. Please?”

I was furious. How could he suggest me leaving Christine behind?! Who was he to tell me such things?

I glared at him. “Who are you to tell me what to do, Jay? You have no right to tell me to abandon my close friend! In fact, you have no right to tell me to do anything! You’re nothing!”

“I’m nothing?! I believe I’m your friend, Yoo-mi!” Jay argued. “And friends have the right to tell them their opinions! And I say, you shouldn’t go to Japan!”

I scoffed. “My friend? You think we’re friends?” I glared. “We are not friends! In fact, I don’t even like you. And I know you don’t like me either. So drop the friend act!”

He paused. “Are you saying we’re not friends?” I turned away. “What about all those times we hung out?! Do they mean nothing to you?! I was being myself the whole time! How could you say we aren’t friends after all that?!” He yelled at me.

I let out a laugh. “Hah! Friends? How can you say that? I know you, Jay Park. I know for a fact you only wanted to hang out with me so you could get me to like me. Is that true or not?” He stared at me silently. I scoffed. “Exactly. Those hangouts meant nothing. You mean nothing to me. I don’t like you and I never will.”

The moment those words left my mouth, I regretted them immediately. No matter how irritating or frustrating Jay could be, he didn’t deserve to be berated like that. The moment I saw the flicker of hurt cross his face, I knew I did something terribly wrong.

“Wait, Jay…” I started.

“No,” Jay cut me off. “I get it.” He sighed and turned towards the door. He opened the door and took a step out. He turned towards me. “I’m sorry if that’s what you think of me, Yoo-mi. But I want you to know that you were never some conquest to me. I really hoped you and I would become close friends…have fun in Japan.” And with that, he was gone. I stood there in despair. Every part of my body was screaming for me to go after him. I had to tell him that I didn’t mean a single word and I was just being a heartless unconsciously. But my body remained still and I stared at the door like a lame idiot. I sighed. I needed to apologize. MOVE BODY MOVE! I rushed out of the door and scanned the room for Jay. I spotted him in the corner of the room, chatting away with Chansung. I blinked in surprise. He didn’t seem too hurt anymore. But as I observed him some more, I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was far from okay. His eyes held a form of hurt that could not be expressed in words. I felt the pit of my stomach drop. It was a wretched feeling and I was a wretched person for hurting his feelings like that. I took a step forward towards him but my phone vibrated within my pockets, stopping any advancement. I pulled out my phone and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yoo-mi!” the familiar voice of manager shrieked.

I cringed. “Yes, manager?”

“Where the hell are you two? Do you understand what time it is?” Manager questioned.

Part of me wanted to make a pun out of that one, but I could tell manager was not in the mood for jokes. “We’re at the 2AM apartment, manager. Kwon-Oppa wanted to give us dinner.” I answered.

“Well, you two have early schedules tomorrow, so you two better be here in fifteen minutes or you won’t like the workout I give you!” With a click, manager was gone. I sighed. I knew manager would follow through on her threat. I stared after Jay. I’d have to apologize to him another time. I searched for Christine and found her munching on the food in the corner. I shook my head and informed her that it was time to go. She nodded and we embraced everyone goodbye before leaving the apartment. Jay ignored my attempt to hug and apologize to him. Not that I could blame him. I’d probably ignore myself too…

The ride home was quiet and awkward. I didn’t plan for it to happen, but I was deep in thought about what I said to Jay. It was eating away at me…Suddenly I felt as if someone was watching me closely. I turned to Christine and found that she was staring at me intently.

I furrowed my brows. “What?”

Christine kept staring and shrugged. “Nothing. It’s just…”

“Just?” I asked. “What? What is it? Tell me!”

“Are you okay, Yumi?”

“Yeah…why?” I answered hesitantly.

She shrugged. “It’s just…you seem distracted. And at the party, you didn’t hug Jay. What was that about?”

I turned away. “That was nothing. He was just being Jay.”

Christine laughed. “He was being Jay? I don’t think so. The Jay I know would try to get with you any chance he can get. And a hug is skin ship. I doubt Jay would turn that down.”

I sighed. “I don’t know. He’s probably just ignoring me.”

“Ignoring you?” I nodded. “What for?” Christine asked.

“Probably because I insulted him…”

“You insulted him? What did you say?”

“I told him…that I didn’t like him,” I answered quietly.

“Yoo-mi!” Christine exclaimed. “Why did you say that? How could you lie like that?”

I blinked. “Lie? The hell are you talking about?”

Christine rolled her eyes. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know, Yumi. You like Jay.”

I shook my head furiously. “No way! I don’t like Jay. You’ve got to be kidding.”

Christine laughed. “Quit denying it! You like Jay! I mean, you hang out with him all the time. He invades our rehearsals and calls you non-stop.”

“That just proves he likes me, not that I like HIM,” I argued.

Christine shook her head. “True, but you never put a stop to his advances.” I remained silent. “You continued to meet up with him, you granted him access to the studio and you answered all his texts and calls. Face it, Yoo-mi. If you didn’t like him, why didn’t you stop him?” I pouted. Christine had a point. If I really didn’t like him, why’d I lead him on? “Admit it,” Christine poked. “You like Jay.”

Did I truly like Jay? I mean, he wasn’t my type. He was annoying, cocky, stupid and utterly frustrating. Who could possibly find such a man attractive? But I had to admit, Jay had some redeeming qualities. He was kind, funny, and talented. He had a determination like no other. And, sometimes, he could be slightly charming…I groaned. Maybe I did like Jay. Now, I was completely screwed. I basically just ruined any chance I had with Jay with my remarks. He wouldn’t talk to me now! And to make matters worse, I was leaving for Japan in two weeks. I had to make everything right by then and I doubted I could accomplish such a task. I sighed. My life just liked to …

(Two weeks later)

“The two o’clock flight to Tokyo is now boarding. Passengers please head to the gate.”

I sighed. It was time to go. I turned to the group of people who had made it to wish us a farewell. I was glad that 2AM was here to see us go but I was slightly disappointed to know that they were the only ones to show up. We turned to each of our companions and gave them giant hugs. Kwon was bawling the whole time, smothering each of us with his tears. Seulong patted our heads and wished us luck. Changmin reminded us to keep in touch and to stay well fed and Seulong just wished us luck and gave us little presents to take with us.