The pressure was getting higher, both teams were busy rehearsing, pulling all night doing the same thing over and over again. On that night, Hanbin sent everybody to bed, saying that he would complete the beat on his own and add the last changes. YG complained about the lack of Korean lyrics in their song, they had to change it ... again ... which means that he needed to adjust the beat to it.

'' I will do it ! You guys Go ahead !''

'' Are you sure ? You haven't slept since yesterday. We can help you tomorrow ...'' Jinhwan said sounding all worry.

'' I'm good ! Go ! I'll be joining you in like 30mn ... '' He lied.

'' If you don't finish it's okay bro, tomorrow I'll help you to complete it ... tonight I am just too dead.'' Bobby said streching his arms and yawning.

'' I will handdle it ! Goodnight . ''


He lied to them, he stayed in the small studio, sitting on this unconfortable chair, trying many sounds, rewriting the beat,  the melody. At some point, he could not even tell if he was  asleep or awake. 

'' I can't sleep now ... I must do it ! I must complete that damn song ... ''

He ignored his headache, the sweat coming from his forehead, his hands shaking, the bags under his eyes and the feeling of a dry throat.

Last time he checked the time on the clock it was 3 am and he was not even almost half done ... they had a fans meeting at 11 am : 

'' I can do it ! I just need the right melody ... '' are the last words he thought before collapsing on his desk.

When Hanbin woke up, someone was there next to him. He was not on the chair anymore, but on the sofa behind the desk. He raised his head from a pillow and look around him. He had a blanket on his body, someone removed his shoes and hat, he saw there on the floor next to Jinhwan who was sleeping on the floor ... the cold floor. With only his arm as a pillow, he was there sleeping on the cold floor.

'' He brought me here ... he was worry for me ...'' , He looked at the table near the sofa, there was a yellow sticker, on a milk bottle and some fruits:

'' Please eat and drink everything when you will wake up - Jinhwan- ''

He read scratching his head. He felt bad because he knew that the older boy was dead tired, but still he came back and took care of him. Actually,  he has been observing his hyung a lot,  for  the past few days now, just like him he was lacking sleep and he had to help everybody with their vocals and their dance , trying his best to be there for everybody, him too was dead tired. He lifted him and brought him to the sofa. Jinhwan was so tired that he didn't even wake up.

Hanbin sat on the floor, grabbed his notebook and a pencil and went back to work, he checked the time : 7 am. He was feeling better after sleeping a bit drinking something and eating the fruits. Actually, he was feeling great ! By 9 am he was done ! He completed everything. The beat was finished and the lyrics re-writen. 

'' I hope they can memorize them before the live ! ''

He said caressing the older boy face :

'' You're so beautiful ... I wish I was a better leader, a better friend ... someone who could protect you ... all I do is making you worry and cry . I'm sorry.''.

Jinhwan moved in his sleep and whispered, eyes still closed:

'' You are a great leader, an amazing friend and I know you will always do everthing you can to protect us. I cry and worry because I'm stupid. I'm sorry. ''

Hanbin jumped off, not expecting him to hear what he was saying earlier.

Jinhwan sat and rubbed his eyes. Hanbin found his gesture too cute, it made him smile. Even if the other was older than him, when they were together, he always felt like it was the opposite. He sat next to him on the sofa.

'' You okay ? I mean ... you were sleeping on the floor ... don't ever do that. '' He said with a serious voice.

'' Sorry ... it just ... I was so worry for you and couldn't fall asleep. I thought that maybe you were hungry so I brought you some fruits and milk and ... '' Jinhwan didn't finished his sentence, he saw the drop coming from his nose and falling in silent on the beige blanket. He was bleeding !

'' Fck ! '' Hanbin brought the blanket to his nose and rubbed it. He looked so worry .

'' Is it painful ?  Are you okay ? ''

The older boy nodded:

'' I am fine ... it's nothing ... look it stopped. ''.

'' Is it the first time it happened ? ''

'' Yeah ... but don't worry Hanbin.''

Hanbin stopped rubbing the other boy nose:

'' You're lying ! ''

'' Hanbin ... I am fine ! ''

'' I just wish you could open yourself more ... at least to me.''

'' You know you and Bobby are the people who know me the best in the entire world ... you know it. ''

'' Exactly ! Bobby and I but ... I just wish you could trust me a bit more than him ... '' He then stood up.

Jinhwan lowered his head. He always been an introvert, it took him 3 years to open to Bi and Bobby. He felt so weak and shy , and the fact that he was the oldest didn't help ... he felt bad. He was scared, very scared of that attraction, the way he felt toward his leader. What would happen if he decided to open completely to BI ? Hanbin would be so dissapointed in him, it would be the end of their friendship. 

'' I care a lot about you Jinhwan and I want you to know that I will always be there for you. I am your leader and your friend. I might not be perfect, I still have a lot to learn but one thing for sure is ... '' Hanbin looked away, he didn't have the gutts to say it. 

'' Hanbin ... ''

'' It's okay Jinhwan, let's go ! ''. He went back to the desk. As he turned the computer off and grabbed his papers, he could hear his hyung behind him packing his stuff as well.


Few days passed, they were still working very hard. Mihno  Team A leader, dropped by to return Bobby hat he borrowed one day, then he decided to stay to chill with them during their break. Hanbin and the others didn't mind since that competition didn't mean that they had to hate each other, they trainned altogether after all ... That what hanbin thought until he noticed how close they got, even when they weren't meeting, Minho would text often Jinhwan, or asked him to help jinwoon with his vocals ...Bobby noticed too because he asked the oldest about it:

'' Wassup with Minho ? ''

'' What do you mean ? " Jinhwan asked not really getting what he meant by that.

'' Well ... lately you guys seems to have grown closer ... ''

'' Oh common! We are all friends here ...''

'' yeah ! But what happened to TEAM B and ''the three'' s moments ? '' Bobby said pouting.

'' It's true Hyung ! you promised me we would go eat together and instead, you went with Minho.'' Yunhyung complainned as well.

'' I will make it up to you then ! Okay ? Promise ! '' Jinhwan said laughing.

Hanbin didn't show it, but deep inside he was burning of jealousy ! He hates it ! He hates himself for feeling this way , he hates Jinhwan for making him lose his sanity and at this right moment, he hates Minho. 


The next day they were taking a break after 5 hours of non stop practice , when the whole Team A dropped by ! The atmosphere was cool , everybody was talking and laughing. Hanbin sat on a bench, massaging his foot , he was observing Jinhwhan and Minho talking, laughing together. It was very painful to see ... they looked so close and he was not blind:  Seems so obvious that Minho has an interrest in HIS JINHWAN. So if he could see it, Jinhwan was aware of it too ... and he was playing along, he was enjoying minho's company. The young leader though he saw everything yet and could endure more until he saw Minho giving a back hug to the older boy who couldn't stop gigling, Minho was now tickling him making him fall on the floor and they were both laughing !

Hanbin stood up, left the studio as soon as he could after slamming the door ! Everybody jumped off in shocked.

Bobby followed him outside the building:

'' WTF ... damn are you okay ? '' He yelled !

Hanbin turned to not face him, too scared that Bobby would be able to read him and guess what was going on.

'' B.I. , what's going on ? ''

'' You have to leave me alone ... now ! Just go ! '' He tried to  say it as quiet as possible, but he failed and just sounded mad to Bobby who adjusted his glasses before putting a hand on Hanbin shoulder. 

'' It's because of him ... Jinhwan ... right ? ''

Hanbin froze. Bobby knew ! How come ?

'' Look ... you , him and I , know each other for like 3 years, I can tell ... since the first time you saw him, I knew you felt something. i just kept quiet because ... I understood that as the leader you didn't want yours feelings to ruin the band's harmony. I understand.''.

After Bobby words, there was this instant when they both kept quiet, before Hanbin turned to face him, his face was pale and he looked lost. It was the first time for Bobby to see him like this.

'' Bobby ... you have no idea how it hurts ... I couldn't stay inside ... I just couldn't and I can't go back now ... I need to suppress my emotions first ... I can't be around you guys. Not like this. ''

He removed Bobby hand from his shoulder. His own hands were shaking and he was avoiding eyes contact with Bobby.

'' Hanbin ... I understand ... it must be tough on you specially now with the competition ... ''

'' I will be fine ! I just need ... to be alone for a while.''

At the same time Jinhwan appeared, he looked very worry and came closer:

'' Hanbin, what is going on ? Are you hurt ? Why did you left like this ? ''

Hanbin turned again, giving his back to them, and started to walk away, but jinhwan followed and placed himself in front of him, again, Hanbin backed away and turned, this time giving his back to his hyung and facing Bobby who felt bad but had no idea how to help. He knew Jinhwan too well, once he had something on his mind, nobody could make him change his idea. And right now the only thing he had in mind was helping his leader.

'' jinhwan ... just go please ! '' Hanbin said very quietly.

'' Are you mad at me ? What did I do ? I don't understand ...''

It was too much for the young rapper. He really tried , he tried so hard for months, weeks, days ... but now it was just too much ! Everything was gonna come out at any moment, but he couldn't afford to let this happen.

'' , didn't you hear what I said ? I said Go ! And don't make me repeat myself ! '' he screamed.

And the fact that Jinhwan couldn't see his face when he yelled that, scared him even more and brought tears to his face.

'' Hanbin ... I am sorry ... I don't understand why you're mad at me ... but I am sorry ... '' 

Just by the sound of his voice, the pause he took between each words ... without even looking at him, Hanbin knew that he was crying. He hates himself even more for making him cry like this, when all he wanted to do, was to hug him and never let go.

Bobby finally decided to act:

'' Hyung ... I think that we should leave B.I. alone for now, he has a lot on his mind with planning the next live show ... let's go ! '' Bobby brought back a crying Jinhwan inside.

Hanbin just hated himself ... '' I'm sorry ... ''.

Hanbin went for a long walk, a walk of 2 or 3 hours ... he lost track of time. When he went back to the studio, everybody already left. He sat in the computer room, where they usually worked on their beats and lyrics, sat on that sofa were him and Jinhwan slept the other night. He sat there for he doesn't know how long , the images of earlier kept re playing in his head. He looked at the clock : 11pm something.

he felt mentally exausted and weak. Who could save him ? what to do ?

'' Hanbin ! ''

He didn't even move when he heard his voice. When he heard Jinhwan calling him.

'' What are you doing here ? ''

Fingers clentching the sleeves of his black hoodie, Jinhwan answered:

'' I was waiting for you ! You scared me earlier ... why don't you let me help you ? ''

Hanbin kept looking in front of him:

'' Because you can't ! So now for the last time, please leave me alone ! ''

'' No ! I refuse ... I can't leave you now ! ''

Until then he stay at the door, he finally entered and sat next to Hanbin, but the young rapper stood up and walk to the desk , a bit far from the sofa. Jinhwan followed him:

'' You have no idea how you are hurting me right now ... I am so worry for you that it hurts ! Please, just tell me what is going on ! '' Jinhwan begged him.

'' If I tell you ... there will be no turning back and I can't take this risk !"

'' Hanbin ... I don't care ! ''

'' Look ... I can handdle it on my own ! You don't have to worry like this ... ''

'' I thought you cared about me ... I thought you trust me ... I thought I meant something to you Hanbin, because to me , you mean everything ... "

When he heard him, Hanbin felt like his heart would popped out of his chest, he felt hot, scared, weird ... he came closer, took Jinhwan face in his hands, leaned his head , pressed their lips together and slowly kissed him. 

Just like if he was waiting for him, the older boy closed his eyes and kissed back, bringing his hands to Hanbin neck. The kiss was wet and sloppy; their tongues tangled together, Jinhwan felt his leader's soft hands  up and down his back as their tongues were moving together, circling, reaching deeper ... 

As they kept on kissing passionately, Hanbin felt very light and relieved: all the tension, the stress, the doubts, the hate, the angst ... were all gone , only replaced now by a warm sensation in his heart.




Thank you for reading and please comment my story   :D