Jonghyun was pacing back and forth in front of the room his lover was currently in. The smell of the hospital around him was a painful reminder of why he was there in the first place. He knew he had to be there for him, for Key, but he couldn't. He felt like a coward but he was only trying to  protect his heart from breaking even more, or at least that's what he tells himself. Was it such a bad thing to protect yourself? To protect your heart? To protect your precious time, and save it for something he would actually like to spend it on? Jonghyun felt like he needed to leave before it was too late, before he regrets staying by his side because he knew that there was no hope. Key was dying and Jonghyun was sure of that. He tried to hope and pray for his condition to improve but it only got worse with time. Key was diagnosed with brain cancer 1 year ago. That's when Jonghyun's life took a turn for the worst. He was optimistic at first, he was sure that they would get through this, that Key would be able to fight off the cancer, but now it seemed like cancer was going to win the fight. None of the treatments were working. Key was throwing up everything he ate, his body looked pale and boney, his hair was now a thing of the past, and it was becoming harder and harder for Jonghyun to watch. He would dream about the old days the two shared when Key was still healthy, still beautiful. Jonghyun felt horrible for thinking this way but couldn't help the feeling of disgust every time he kissed or hugged Key. It was something he loved to do, he loved to feel the soft delicate skin against his fingertips, he loved the feeling of his soft lips against his own, but that love turned into disgust. The king of skinship wanted anything but skinship from the younger male. He started to become more distant, more irritable, and his visits became less frequent. There was still apart of him that still loved Key, but he just couldn't do it anymore. That's why he is currently pacing back and forth in  front of Key's hospital room. This was going to be his last visit, his last time he was going to ever see him. He had no idea what he was going to say to him, but he had to do this. He needed to be free from this, he was tired of hoping for something that wasn't going to happen. 

"You can do it Oppa! It's better this way, we both know he's not going to make it" Jonghyun turned to the voice and nodded. The sight of the girl in front of him only made him feel more guilty. Her name was Jessica. Jonghyun had met her at a party a few years ago. She was Key's friends older sister. Jonghyun always thought she was gorgeous but she never compared to Key's beauty. Well maybe not a year ago, but now Jessica was more pleasant to the eyes then Key. He had been secretly seeing her for the past 2 months, and he felt like a total d-bag but his feelings for Key were dying and she was only making it easier to get over him. Jonghyun took a final breathe before opening the door that seperated him and Key. The first thing he noticed was a laughing Key, and a smiling Minho by his side. Jonghyun clenched his fists together ready to punch that frog in the nose. "Who the hell does he think he is?" Jonghyun thought to himself. If it were up to him, he would have already rearranged Minho's face, but the only thing or rather the only person who was stopping him was the laughing blonde on the hospital bed. Minho has been Key's best friend since birth, and they had a close relationship he wasn't too fond of. Sure he was grateful towards him for protecting Key, but he was sure that he liked Key more then he should. 

"Oh, hey babe!" Key sang happily when he noticed Jonghyun standing at the door. 

"Hey" Jonghyun greeted as he sat on the side of Key's hospital bed opposite from Minho. The frog's smile dropped instantly at the sight of the older causing Jonghyun to smirk. 

"Well aren't you going to kiss me hello?" Key asked with mock irritation. Jonghyun gave him a small smile and leaned forward to kiss his boyfriends chapped lips. "Gross" Jonghyun thought to himself. The kiss only lasted for a second, but Jonghyun felt like it was a second too many. Key obviously wasn't satisfied with the kiss. He knew Jonghyun  didn't want to touch him anymore, but he was selfish. He needed to feel him; Jonghyun was the only reason why he was still breathing. As long as Jonghyun was there, Key's heart will continue to beat. Ofcourse Key also noticed how his boyfriends visits became less frequent, and how his boyfriend was falling out of love with him. He also knew about Jessica. Minho had told him about her a few weeks ago and ofcourse Key didn't believe him at first, but Krystal had said Minho was telling the truth.

"I know you don't want to believe it Oppa, but Minho is telling the truth. I love my sister to death but I don't approve of her seeing your boyfriend behind your back" Krystal had said. But Key still loved him, he even blamed himself for not being a good boyfriend. He convinced himself that it was his fault that this happened. Minho had tried to convince him to break up with the bastard but Key simply couldn't let him go. Jonghyun was the reason why he was still alive, he is the reason why he still fights for his life. If Jonghyun left…he just didn't know what he'd do, nor does he want to think about it. But Key knows he'll leave sooner or later, he knows Jonghyun has lost all hope already, he can see it in his eyes. He just wants to enjoy what little time he has left with his boyfriend. Key knows that he's going to hurt in the end, but who said he wasn't already? How would you feel if you could die that very day, and the person you love the most doesn't love love you anymore? How would you feel if you knew you're boyfriend was seeing someone else behind your back? Key is ing dying, but that doesn't seem to matter to Jonghyun, and that what hurts Key the most. The thought that he doesn't mean anything to Jonghyun is only killing him faster. However, Key doesn't care. No, he just wants Jonghyun to be there, to feel his presence. That alone was enough for him. 

"So, how long are you staying today?" Key asked happily.

"Not long, I have to go to work soon" Jonghyun said apologetically, but ofcourse he wasn't really sorry. Not really. 

"Why didn't you come earlier?" Key pouted

"I'm sorry, I was busy" Yeah, sorry not sorry. 

"Well at least you came…" Key mumbled looking downcast. It hurt even more that Jonghyun didn't seem to notice how he hurt his feelings, and if he did he didn't try to comfort him. 

"When are you leaving?" Key asked. Jonghyun pretended to look at his watch and sighed.

"I actually have to go now" he sighed as he got up from his seat. He gave his boyfriend a small hug. His last hug. 

"Bye Key" Jonghyun said not giving Key a second glance. Key watched his boyfriend walk right out the door with sad eyes.

"He's gone for good now" Key whimpered as he watched his boyfriend walk out the door. Minho reached for his hand and placed a small comforting kiss on his fingers. He knew it, he could tell by the way he called him by his nickname. It sounded dead. Emotionless. He might be over thinking things, but he has a strong feeling that he wouldn't be seeing his boyfriend in his hospital room anymore. 

"Is he even my boyfriend anymore?" Key thought with a dry laugh.

"He's not coming back" Key said emotionlessly before breaking down. He knew this day was coming but he still wasn't prepared for it. Key understood Jonghyun's motives, and can't find it in himself to be angry with him. I mean who would want to watch the person you love die? Or in my case, loved. Nobody would want to watch anyone die period unless your sick in the head or really hate the person, Key thought. Part of Key actually wanted Jonghyun to hate him.

"At least he would stay til' the end" Key thought sadly. 

"You don't know that for sure. Even if he doesn't, isn't it for the better? He doesn't deserve you" Minho said as he played with Keys fingers in an attempt to comfort the broken man on the bed. 

"But I love him" Key whimpered. "Damn it, I love him! I don't care if he cheats on me with Jessica, I just want him here! I need him to be the last thing I see before I die so I can rest in peace!" Key said crying even harder. His whole body shook as he continued to cry hysterically while shaking his head wishing it was all a dream, or some sick joke. Minho should be worried by the fact that Key's heart monitor is beating like crazy, but he couldn't hear anything. 

"Don't say that…" Minho whispered as he gripped onto Key's hand. 

"Say what? That I love him? That I want him here?" Key asked exasperated. "Well I ing do okay?!"

"NO!" Minho shouted angrily scaring Key into silence.

"Don't say that you're going to die, because it's not true. I can't believe it. I won't believe it. That sorry excuse of a boyfriend might have lost faith in you, but I haven't! So please don't say that again" Minho said more calmly, but the sadness in his voice made Key pity his friend. 

"Minho, we both know its true. Even the Doctor said there is nothing they can do" Key said softly. Key's imminent death always put Minho on edge. No matter what everyone said, he would always say "No, he's not going to die. Just watch". He punched Jonghyun square in the jaw once when he said that he needs to face reality, and face the fact that Kibum is dying. Key kicked Minho out of his hospital room for the rest of the day. The only reason why Minho regrets punching Jonghyun was because he couldn't see Key for the majority of that day. Minho just shook his head.

"They might think that you won't make it, but I do. I know you're going to get out of here healthier then any damn horse out there, and you're going to become a fashion designer like you always talked about, and I'm going to go to all your fashion shows, and you're going to live a long happy life. The day you're going to die is when your a dusty pile of bones okay?!" Minho demanded. Key gave his best friend the best smile he could manage, and wiped the tears Minho didn't even know he shed. They didn't say anything after that. There was nothing to say. Key knew he was dying, and Minho knew he wasn't. They can only silently agree to disagree. 

 

Key didn't know how long it's been since he last saw Jonghyun. It could be days, weeks, even months, but he didn't care. He just laid in bed waiting for death to take him. He didn't know when it was going to happen, but he had a feeling his time was coming soon. He had nothing left to fight for, his parents disowned him years ago, his grandmother died a few years back, and Jonghyun is no longer around. Key saw no point in living so he stopped trying. He no longer willed his body to fight the cancer off, he stopped the chemotherapy, and ate even less which meant a lot since he barely ate anything in the first place. Of course Minho was furious with this but Key was stubborn. Everybody knows Key always gets what he wants, and Key wants to die. 

"Dammit Key" Minho cursed as he watched Key's sleeping form. 

"Excuse me Mr. Choi, may I have a word with you please?"  Dr. Lee asked from the doorway. Minho bit his bottom lip anxiously. He really didn't want to leave Key's side. Ever since Key's heart stopped beating the week before, he hasn't left his side besides the times he goes to the bathroom. The lovely nurses were kind enough to bring Minho some food when they brought in Key's meal. 

Minho has never cried so hard in his life.

"I thought you were dead! Your heart failed twice! I'm so glad you're alive! If you ever die on me again, I'm going to kill you!" Minho managed to say through his hysteric crying. 

"Pabo, how are you going to kill me if I'm dead?" Key chuckled but deep down he really wished he stayed dead. 

"Can we speak in here please?" Minho asked never taking his eyes off of Key's sleeping body. 

"Sure" Dr. Lee responded kindly. He grabbed a spare chair and placed it right next to Minho's. 

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Lee asked kindly. 

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine" Minho replied. "You should worry more about Key"

"True, but you should also worry about yourself. Maybe you should go for a walk outside, some fresh air would do you some good" Dr. Lee said gently. 

"I told you I'm fine!" Minho snapped. Dr. Lee only sighed in response, Key wasn't the only one who can be stubborn. 

 

Minho's POV

I felt bad for going off on Dr. Lee like that, so I took his advice and went for a walk around the hospitals garden. All the beautiful flowers and beautiful scents made me feel so fresh. It made me forget just for a moment the reason why I was here. 

"Hyung?" I heard a sweet voice call from behind me. I whipped my body around and I saw him standing there.

"Taemin" I whispered.

"Well are you just going to stand there, or are you going to give your little brother a hug? Rude" Taemin said with a giggle. I didn't need to be told twice. I squeezed the life out of Taemin, and took comfort in the embrace I haven't felt in years.

"Is Mom and Dad with you?" I asked after pulling away. 

"Yeah, they're in Key hyung's room right now. If it weren't for Jonghyun hyung we wouldn't be here right now. At least he answers his phone" Taemin chuckled. 

"Don't ever say that name again" I said sternly causing Taemin's smile to slowly faded into a frown. 

"Hyung, what's wrong?" Taemin asked confusedly 

"I'll tell you later, lets head back up to Key's room" I really wasn't in the mood to talk about that cheating piece of crap. He's the one that deserves to be in a hospital bed right now. 

"Okay" Taemin beamed. I couldn't help but smile at how adorable my little brother was. He was always very close with Key, even calling him Umma. I wouldn't be surprised if he threw me into a pool of killer sharks just to save Key. I wouldn't mind though, as long as Key was safe. We made out  way to the elevator and went to the third floor where Key's room was located. We walked down the halls in comfortable silence, enjoying each others company. My lips lifted up to form a content smile and parted just a bit to let out a sigh. 

"Which room is Key in again?" Taemin asked frantically. I looked down at my brother strangely.

"Room 12B at the end of the hall. Why?" I asked confused.

"Look! There are nurses rushing into the room down there!" Taemin said pointing to the room down the hall. Key's room. My body stopped functioning and all I could do is stand there and watch as the nurses push my parents out of the room and close the door behind them. I could hear my heart beating against my chest, and my shaky breathe escape through my mouth. My fists clenched at my sides and my feet glued to the floor, I could barely hear the faint voice of my little brother calling my name.

"Mom! What's wrong? Why did they kick you out of the room?!" Taemin asked after receiving no sort of response from me. He looked frantically between my parents, but I already had a good idea of what they were going to say.

"His heart stopped" My father said, speaking for his wife who was a crying mess at the moment. Taemin let out a strangled sob.

"Th-They c-can still s-save him right?" Taemin asked, desperately wishing Key still had a chance. But before I could hear the answer something came over my body and the next thing I knew I was in the elevator, and out the hospital. I had no idea where I was going but I didn't care. I just needed to be away from Key right now. I knew I was running from the person that needed me most right now but my body just wouldn't allow me to turn around. I know I was pulling a Jonghyun right now, but I just couldn't see him nearly dying twice. To be honest, I'm not even sure if he'll make it this time. As mush as I ing hate myself for thinking it, I can't help but feel it. Just like I can't help how I love him, and that just makes it much worse.