Beautiful Goodbye

You are late for work. You half jog to the nearest coffee shop to get a cappuccino that will give you some boost. You check your watch, heck you’re late. You reach the intersection and the pedestrian sign just turned red. You curse under your breath about how unlucky you are today. A minute passes and the lights are still red. You are growing impatient with each passing second. At long last, the light goes green. You hurry past people, trying not to get your coffee knocked out of your hand. You look to where you are going as you are at the middle of the pedestrian lane. A familiar figure catches your eyes and you abruptly stop. Your eyes widen as the figure lifted its head up. Everything’s coming back to you even though you tried so hard to forget.

----- Flashback. 7 years ago ------

“Hello, everyone. My name is Krystal Jung. Nice to meet you.” You said before bowing to the class

All eyes were on you as you head to your seat. It was the second time you transferred schools for the year. You were afraid, yes. Being the new girl isn’t always easy. You have to start all over again. Classes started and passed in a blur. Before you knew it, it was already lunch time. You grab your lunchbox, ready to head out. But suddenly three girls blocked your path. Your heart jumped and started to beat fast. You thought you were going to be picked on. Your first day and you are already the target. You look at them and tried to grab the situation.

“Hi! I’m Victoria.” The one in the middle stretched out her hand towards you.

You were a bit taken aback. They meant no harm. How silly of you to judge them so quickly. You formed a smile and proceeded to shake her hand.

“Hello.. I’m Krystal. Nice to meet you.” You said.

“They are Sulli and Luna.” Victoria gestured at the two girls beside her, smiling at you.

You shook their hands and they asked you to join them for lunch. A big thorn has been removed off your chest. You were relieved that you didn’t have a hard time fitting in. People are willing to reach out for you and become friends. You went off with them with a bright smile plastered upon your face and heart. And that’s how you started your first day.

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Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. It was winter. The beating cold slammed hard at you as you were on your way to class at seven in the morning. You shiver; your nose was red because of the cold. You hug your body tight seeking warmth even though you were already wearing three layers of clothing. You arrived early and decided to head to the café nearby to get a cup of your favourite cappuccino. You sat at one end of the café, enjoying the warmth it provides. The smell of freshly brewed coffee, the soothing sound of jazz filled the room and the subtle chatter of the customers. It gave off a very cozy atmosphere which you adore. You sniff, it seems that you’ve caught a cold. You scrunched your nose, trying to get the annoying feeling. You sneezed and muttered a quick “excuse me”.  You didn’t have any tissue with you. This was going to be a hard day. You sighed at the thought. Then you saw a hand in front of you, holding a pack of tissues. You looked up and met eyes with a person that has a smile of a thousand suns.

“I assume you need this.” The stranger said.

You looked at the stranger then back at the tissue pack. You nodded and took the sweet gesture.

“Thank you.” You said silently.

The stranger just smiled and went away. You were flustered. You were going red as you remembered the smile. Wow, you never thought that someone could brighten you up that much. You took out a couple of wisps of tissue and blew your nose. Still smiling, you kept the pack and swore never to throw it away. It was from the sun.

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Your phone rang aloud and you scrambled on getting it out of your bag to answer whoever was calling. You held up your phone to your ears and were greeted by a loud Sulli, telling you to meet up with them at the café nearby. You laughed and started to walk while talking to her over the phone. You were busy telling Sulli that you were going to be there in 5 minutes that you didn’t notice a certain stranger pass you. You gained your senses and stopped. You lowered your phone and looked back. There, you saw the stranger looking at you and gave you a smile before heading away. You thoughtlessly passed by the sun. But you wanted to be closer and closer. You were so lost in thought that you forgot a shrieking Sulli at the other end of the phone.

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The bell rang, signalling that it was already dismissal. But you didn’t want to go home yet. You decided to visit your favourite café nearby to get a cup of your favourite cappuccino while finding the time to unwind. A chime rang signalling that a customer just entered the shop and you heard your name. You looked up and saw Victoria along with....

“Krystal! I knew I would find you here. You love this place.” Victoria smiled and went towards you.

“Hello, unnie.” You smiled.

“Oh. I want you to meet Amber. She’s my friend from Literature class.” She said, gesturing the short haired one beside her.

You look at her. Amber... The sun is a girl. She gave you one of her charming smiles, like the one she gave on that winter morning.

“Hi.” You greeted.

“Hello, Krystal.” She bows at you.

“I’ll just buy us some coffee okay? Amber, stay here with Krystal. It’s on me.” Victoria said.

“Okay. Thank you, noona.” Amber said to Victoria while taking a seat.

“You call her noona?” You asked her.

“Yeah. I don’t know. I just don’t feel comfortable calling her unnie. It’ll sound weird coming from me.” She said, faking a shiver.

You chuckle. You didn’t know that the sun could be dorky. You looked at her. She was laughing and her eyes were smiling with her. You pondered, how someone could this be adorable. You were drawn to her. You just were. You both started talking while waiting for Victoria arrived. Talking with her felt natural and easy. You felt light. You became friends and you knew that this was going to be something worth remembering.

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The day was bright and the air was crisp. Your day ended and it was time to head home. You went out of your building and towards the gate. There, you saw her waiting for you as like what she always did since the two of you became closer.  Your friends started teasing both of you because you were always with each other.  She would just laugh while you turn red. You smile because you knew that she treated you specially. There was something but at the same time nothing between you two. You were yet to know. You went to her and was greeted by the smile that you love.

“Let’s go.” You said.

She just nodded and walked beside you. You kept distance, it wasn’t close yet it wasn’t far either. Just right. Though you wanted to be closer, you were afraid. You don’t know why, but you just were. You’ve been with each other for almost a year but this was the closest that you’ll ever get to her. You wanted more. You know you do. You can’t deny that you were already falling for her. No, you already fell for her.

You then feel a slight warm touch at the back at your hand that sent shivers up your arm. You knew that the back of her hand just grazed yours. That was enough to give your face a light shade of red. Then you feel another touch, but this time her hand didn’t just graze yours. Slowly and carefully, she entwined your hand into hers. Holding it tight like she never wanted to let go. You felt her warmth and that was more than enough to make your face grow even redder. You took a peek at her. She was slightly taller so you had to look up a bit. She was also blushing and it made you smile. You look at your entwined hands. You gave her slightly larger hand a light squeeze, gaining a squeeze back from her. You walked home hand in hand. No words were said, only gestures. By that, you knew. You knew how she felt and your fears faded away. You were now sure that there was really something.

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Laughter filled the air as you enjoy the amusement park with her. You were on a date and you were having the time of your life. You held onto her as you were riding the roller coaster together. How her arm was around your waist throughout the ride, assuring you that you were not going to fall. You loved how she protected you when you entered the horror house together. You knew that you were safe in her arms and she will let nothing harm you. It felt like a fairytale when you rode the carousel with her. She treated you like a princess. In fact, that is what she calls you. Her princess. Lights surrounded you as the ride went around and around. You felt like you could never be happier. You love being with her. You wished that this moment would never end. The sun was already bidding goodbye when you finally decided to head home. Even the trip home, you enjoyed just because you were with her. There was never a dull moment.

You nearly tripped, good thing she held you upright. The next thing you knew, she was on her knees tying your shoelaces. You were embarrassed because your shoes were dirty. But you couldn’t help but blush while she was doing that. She was finished and gave you a smile. She took your hand but you didn’t budge. She gave you a confused look but was caught off guard when you suddenly kissed her. You felt her arms around you and the moment could never be more perfect.

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You became busy and so did she. There was barely time for you to be together. You were with your projects while she was with her thesis. Only a few months left before she graduates. You were going to be left behind for you are two years her junior. Whenever you call her, she would always be busy. You tried to make time but you felt that she isn’t doing the same. Your dates and sweet moments lessened and the fighting and misunderstandings became more often.  It was like you both lived from two different worlds. There was little time left but there was no effort being exerted to be with each other. It hurt you that you were no longer spending time with each other. You felt that she wasn’t giving you much attention like how she used to. You cried at night until you were numb in the morning.

Weeks passed and still the same routine and you were getting used to it. You barely noticed that she wasn’t around. It’s like you went back to the first months of school, the time you didn’t know that she existed. But even though you felt that way, there was not a day that she didn’t cross you mind. You would wonder if she has already eaten or not. Or if she has taken her vitamins. You still cared for her. And most of all you still love her. But fate was cruel and left both of you apart for too long. You did everything just to save your relationship. But you noticed her distance from you was far greater that it has ever been. And just like that, you drifted away from each other. You tried. But there was nothing more you could do.

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Her graduation day came and you were there bearing a gift. You found her near the gate where she used to wait for you. Memories stream back and you fight the urge to tear up. You found courage and walked towards her. She saw you coming and gave you a warm smile. The smile you missed. The smile that was once yours.

“Hey.” You greeted her.

“Hello, Krys. How are you?” She asked you.

“I’m fine. Here, I got you a gift. Congratulations on making it, Am.” You smile. A forced one. It hurt you that you were like this. Like strangers.

“Oh.. Thank you.” She said as she took the gift.

It was awkward, yes. There was little communication between you two over these past few months. You didn’t even know if there was still something between you two. You wanted to tell her that you miss her but as if you swallowed something sharp, you couldn’t talk.

“Princess...” You heard her say.

That single word made you weak. That endearment she gave you, held onto your heart. But sadly, you knew. You knew that your time as her princess is now coming to an end. You wanted to fight for her but you were too tired. There was barely anything left to fight for. Both of you knew that. Both of you knew that your relationship will go nowhere if you continued. You already did everything you could. It was time to set her free

“Amber. Please. I know. Let’s just clear this out.” You said to her as you were fighting the urge to cry.

“I know that we’re drifting apart. No, scratch that. We already drifted apart and I think it’s time that we move on. We always fight these past couple of months. That’s all we do. We barely had time for each other and we both know where our relationship is going based on the events happened. Amber. I want you to go grab your future and be happy. I don’t want to weigh you down. Just remember that I love you. I always did.” You said while looking at her straight in the eyes. Every word filled with emotion.

“Krys... I’m sorry if it turned out like this...” She said as she looked down.

“No. It’s okay. I believe this is for the better.” You said.

She looked up and held your hand.

“Thank you. Thank you for everything.” She said, full of sincerity.

“As to you.” You smile.

She stepped back.

“Goodbye, Krystal.” She said. You noticed her eyes start to water but she brushed it off away.

“Goodbye, Amber.” You said as you gave her your warmest smile.

She returned the favour and gave you a smile that was worth more than a thousand suns. The smile that captivated you the first time you laid your eyes on her. The smile that made your days bright. The smile that made her your sun. But alas... She was off and your sun was no more.

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You sigh as you finish your entrance exam at the university. You would wait for the results for a couple of months. You were now a graduating student and you are happy with your life. But still there was this certain light that you long for. You shake your head to ward off the thought. You decided to have a small coffee break before heading home. You found a café in the university and walked towards it. But your walk was cut short when you saw the light that you long for inside the cafe. You saw her casually drinking a cup of her favourite mocha frappuccino, enjoying the cozy seat she is on. But she was not alone. There was a brown haired girl with her. Laughing with her. Looking at the smile that was once for you. You see the short haired girl reach for her companion’s hand. The hand that was once entwined with yours. Your tears fall but you wiped them away before anyone sees you. You told yourself to stop. But how could you? You couldn’t deny the fact that you missed her. But she’s already gone. It was done. You didn’t regret a single thing. You were happy and you were ready to move on. You smiled. It was ended by a beautiful goodbye. You turned away and you suddenly realized that you don’t want a cup of coffee anymore.

----- End of flashback. Back to the present time. ------

The bustle of the people around you snaps you back. You are still looking at her. You continue to walk towards her. You come closer and closer. With your head held high, you pass by her. You reach the other end of the pedestrian lane. You did not bother to look back. You smile. You are glad that she is fine. You look at your watch and you are still running late. Putting the thoughts of her aside, you head to work, bidding a silent goodbye to the girl who was once your sun.