❥ Chapter One

            I thought I knew what love was. When I was eighteen, I thought I had the perfect idea of what love felt like, and that I had been experiencing it right then and there with the girlfriend I had at the time. And I felt like I was in heaven, and would never be pulled down to earth again.

            She seemed to fit my ideal type perfectly. I thought she did, at least. She was tall, with shoulder-length, black hair, big eyes, and a great eye smile. She was a flirty type of girl, who rarely showed aegyo and was mature. She contrasted with me, and we were opposites that attracted.

            But honestly, I don’t think I had the smallest clue of what I looked for in a girl. I don’t think she truly was the type of person I was destined to be with. I simply followed the standards of other guys around me at the time. They always did say that she was the perfect girl. They said I was lucky to have such a girl by my side.

            The fact that I had, supposedly, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect relationship, and the perfect love life had blinded me. I was lost in a dream that I thought would never end.

            At first, we’d go on nice dates to restaurants, museums, parks, and movies. Each date left my heart beating at the speed of light, and her smiles left me gaping, jaw hitting the ground.

            Just like how I fell in love with the cliché, stereotypical ideal type characteristics, our relationship was a cliché. We would go on picnic dates, kiss each other on the cheek when it was over, and go home to ponder over it before starting over again with sickeningly sweet days.

            I would shower her in compliments, gifts, and care. And with that smile of hers, I didn’t need anything else. I thought I didn’t.

            I don’t think I even cared to pay attention to her personality. I was too focused on her appearance, and trying to keep her by my side. I wanted to keep this perfect love, and didn't realize that she treated me as nothing but a servant of sorts. At the time, I thought someone like her deserved someone much better than me. And so I desperately gave my all to be with her.

            As our relationship continued, and I kept giving her everything she wanted, she slowly started to give us less of an effort. Her façade of truly loving me was slowly fading away, and I was too blinded by the infatuation I felt that I couldn’t see any of the signs. I didn’t notice how she was slipping away from me. I didn’t sense that she was just using me for my money and popularity.

            She stopped going on dates with me as often, claiming she was too tired or had too much homework. Or she would say she planned a night out with her friends to go to a party. She never wanted me to go with her anywhere, as if she were embarrassed to be seen with me in public. She started shying away from my kisses, and only accepted gifts I bought for her. I would only see her in our classes, and even then, she stopped sitting near me in favor of sitting by friends or some jock that happened to be giving her the time of day.

            Shamelessly, she would flirt with other guys in front of me, and I only thought they were good friends. She would ignore me when we were with others, and barely speak to me when we were alone. She used me to gain popularity, which was exactly what happened. And I had lost any social hierarchy I held before our relationship, not that I particularly cared afterwards.

            Infatuation in place of love is dangerous, and it had possessed me for three long years.

            I found her in our shared apartment, maybe a week after our anniversary, making out with someone who was probably five years older than her. She nearly threw him off of herself and ran over to me, as if she wanted to try and justify what she was doing. But already, you could hear a soft cracking sound as my heart shattered and crumbled until it was only a pale, red dust. And she knew it was hopeless to try and explain.

            She started packing up her things that night without me asking. I’m glad she didn’t talk to me after, for if she did, I might’ve become a hopeless fool and begged her to stay, thinking it was my fault she strayed away from me.

            Without a word, she was gone in two days, and left behind a closet full of every single gift I had ever given to her. I would go back one day, and mourn over how much money I had spent over a girl who cared more about her chipped manicure than her boyfriend.

            Though I sulked around for a few days, I could see the pain I caused my friends, by frowning and going on about why she would do that to me. They had warned me about her in the beginning. But I was ignorant, and all of their words just made it seem as if they were turning against me.

            So I slapped on a smile a week after the break up. I never frowned, sulked, or cried over her again. My friends thought I had woken up and realized that she wasn’t worth my time, and a bright atmosphere persisted. But I only put up that façade to hide the excruciating pain I felt every day when I woke up. I tried to hide every negative emotion that seemed to live within me.

            On the outside, I became the same, idiotic, smiling guy I was before I had a girlfriend. I became that immature guy who tried to make everyone laugh. And I did that to try and distract myself, to try and forget.

            And I swore to never fall so deeply in love again… Otherwise, I would be in even worse pain, I would cause my friends pain, and I didn’t think I could ever feel that way towards another person again. My infatuation, disguised as love, had ripped my heart to irreparable pieces, and tore up my belief that love was a beautiful thing.

Author's note: Hello my loves~ This is a short little two/three-shot I'm writing for my friend (who is literally the biggest Teo fan I know XP). Hope you guys liked the first chapter, and I'm really sorry it was short, but I promise, the next ones will be about two to three pages longer :) Please comment, subscribe, and/or upvote :3 I'll see you guys in my next update ^.^

~DespisedSecret

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