Midnight Episodes
The AuthorI have these... episodes. They happen when I least expect it, like after something really exciting happened.
They happen in the dark of the night, when my house quiet, and the only one awake is me. These... thoughts... come into my mind. It's not a train of thought kind of proccess where I was thinking of something and then it somehow led down the bunny trail to these ideas. No. They happen randomly, in a very untimely manner.
These episodes are nightmares to me. Things I wish I could forget come flooding back all at once, overwhelming me. I start having a mental breakdown because my mind cannot handle the stress these thoughts place on me. My body becomes weak and tired. I begin to cry silently, wishing for there to be someone near me. Someone who would listen and understand what I was going through, and could hold me in their arms and tell me "Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay. I promise." But there is no one in my life who can do that for me, or has ever done that for me. I've never told anyone of my troubles. Perhapes there will never be anyone who can answer my wish, but that's life.
During times like that, just like how I am right now, my thoughts become more powerful than normal. Why? Because those thougths are the death of me. When I'm alone at night, I hear voices, and see events that have happened to me. Every mean thing that was ever said to me, and ever bad thing that has occured to me, I relive it all on this one night. Who knows
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