The Punished

An American Girl

 

 

                “I warned you didn’t I?”  Jungryul didn’t bother trying to cover his smirk as he waved his finger at Hoya.  “I told you before, ‘Do not wear that suit’.”

               Hoya glanced over Jungryul’s shoulder at Helen who was sitting on the couch behind, listening to their conversation.  They locked eyes but he could tell that she wasn’t judging him; she might’ve had a good laugh but she wasn’t thinking poorly of him because of the “accident”.  Hoya looked away first, still embarrassed.

                Jungryul continued even though he knew Hoya wasn’t paying attention to him, “Why were you wearing that anyways?  It’s the middle of the day.”  He put his hands on his hips.  “Ya, Hoya!”

                “We cleaned and I was tired…so I went to bed.”  Hoya’s voice was barely audible as he looked everywhere else but at Jungryul. 

                It was unusual to see Hoya this humble so Jungryul backed off a little.  “Aigoo…”  Jungryul shook his head.  “I guess…I guess we’ll all just have to buy dinosaur suits so you don’t feel so embarrassed.”

                Helen enjoyed watching Jungryul act like this towards these boys.  The way these boys were being brought up by Jungryul and the other employees at Woolim Entertainment was so different compared to the way Jungryul and Madacorp raised Helen.  She marveled at the idea that one small connection brought these two very different groups of people together – Jungryul was that connection.

                “What’s your favorite color, Helen?”  Jungryul had turned half-way to face Helen.  She had dazed off thinking but she answered quickly. 

                “Purple.”  She looked at Jungryul, questioning him on his random question.

                “Oh great…”  Jungryul sighed as he started to head towards the kitchen.  “You two can match and I’ll have two Barneys running around here…”  The sarcasm in Jungryul’s voice was unbearable as Helen started laughing again.  Hoya left the room without saying anything; he closed the door to his room behind him hoping no one would notice his exit.  Helen did but didn’t follow him immediately.

                Instead, Helen made her way into the kitchen; Sungyeol and Sungjong had gone to rest after begging Helen to prepare more food before they woke up.  Helen stood next to Jungryul as they both gazed out the small window and into a back alley.  They stood in that position for a while; no one said anything as they enjoyed each other’s presence.  Jungryul had no clue what Helen had been planning but he had grown accustomed to just enjoying the time he had with her.  He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him; she wrapped her arms around his waist and breathed in his familiarity. 

                Without their knowledge, Hoya had come back into the living room and had seen them hugging each other.  He had looked away immediately, feeling as if he was intruding on a father/daughter moment but eventually his eyes were brought back to the scene.  He, himself, missed his family and it reminded him of a home, any home, when he saw this kindness flowing between his manager and Helen.  Hoya smiled and left the room again; the image of the two standing in the kitchen etched into his mind.

 

                Jungryul had given Hoya and Sungjong the company’s card and asked them to show Helen around the neighborhood and even so far as Sinchon and Hongdae.  The boys did not hold back their excitement.  Helen had almost forgotten how much fun it was to visit these places and have no worries of work or missions.  The feeling of complete freedom overwhelmed Helen as they went to karaoke rooms, bowling alleys, and shopped a little bit.  Sungjong had been trying to get Helen to baby him like many other women did when they met him, but Hoya laughed when she refused put the straw in his drink for him.  “Honey,” Helen started, “how old are you?”  Sungjong wasn’t used to this western style of sarcasm but when Hoya started smirking Sungjong created a scene and stomped his foot, disappointed that his aegyo didn’t have an effect on Helen.

                During the trios walks across streets and on buses and subway stations Hoya always found his way to Helen’s side, especially when places were crowded and bustling with activity.  Neither of them really noticed even when he would put a hand on her shoulders and help direct her through traffic.  Sungjong had begun to fall behind because he was getting a bit tired from the heat; it was from this angle he saw how close Helen and Hoya were.  Sungjong liked Helen; he had wondered before why he trusted her so easily.  As he watched Hoya interact with her, Sungjong realized he wasn’t the only one who appreciated this girl’s company and refreshing atmosphere.  The other boys didn’t mind Helen but they hadn’t gotten the opportunity to become close like these three were. 

                Sungjong watched as Hoya pointed to a tall building and Helen nodded, agreeing with whatever they were talking about.  Hoya looked at her and smiled, she was looking upwards at the building; had fallen ajar in awe.  He gazed at her longer than was necessary, remembering an interview he’d had a while ago.  “Why did your last love fail?”  The reporter asked Hoya.  “I wasn’t confident.”  Hoya’s answer was blunt and straight to the point.  Hoya bit his bottom lip as he watched her; he was drawn to Helen’s eyes as they looked innocent and strong all at the same time.  Her red hair caught in the wind and flew back behind her shoulders; her lips were full and pouty and her skin was creamy and looked soft. 

                Helen looked over at Hoya; he immediately looked in the other direction, hoping she hadn’t caught him staring.  Sungjong had been watching Hoya’s entranced gaze and could only smile wide when Helen motioned for him to catch up.  They walked down the street and headed back to the dorm/apartment, Helen in the middle with Sungjong on her left.  Hoya tickled the ends of her fingertips with light touches until they reached the dorm. 

 

                “Why do you always have to leave as soon as you get here?”  Sungjong whined as Helen stood in the open doorway. 

                Jungryul walked forward, about to make an excuse but Helen cut him off.  “Because, you’re not the only one who has to work, jeongmal babo…”  She tapped Sungjong on his head, lightly.  Hoya walked up behind Sungjong and smacked him a little bit harder. 

                “Ya!  Hajima!”  Sungjong grabbed his head. 

                “Where do you work?”  Hoya pushed Sungjong out of his way. 

                Jungryul winced at this question; he wasn’t sure what Helen was going to say to this.  “Different places, usually I’m just given an address to show up at.”  Helen shrugged her shoulders. 

                Hoya wasn’t going to give up easily, “Where do you work tonight?”

                “Uhh…”  Helen frowned as she pulled out her phone, searching for the last text message with the address attached to it.  She mouthed a few numbers to herself, trying to figure out where she was supposed to go.  “Ahh Yonsei University.” 

                “The university?”  Even Jungryul was a little shocked.

                Helen rolled her eyes as she scrolled through the rest of the message, “Yup,” she sighed, “It’s a trot concert…” her shoulders slumped and she closed her phone.

                Jungryul laughed with his gut, happily.  Hoya grinned thinking of their Before the Dawn trot song.  Sungjong was the first to say anything, “Why don’t we come with you, Noona?”  He peered over Jungryul’s and Hoya’s shoulders, trying to re-enter the conversation. 

                Helen’s mind flashed back to this morning’s conversation with Jin Hyun.  She had told him he couldn’t come along but here she was almost immediately agreeing to letting these boys come with her.  I should feel bad about Hyun, but he left so quickly at breakfast.  Helen was still a little irritated as his sudden disappearance this morning that allowing Jungryul, Hoya and Sungjong to join her at the concert seemed like a good punishment for Hyun.  Besides…it’s a trot concert.  It’s not like those sunbaes are going to start moshing and throwing fists.  Helen finally understood why Madacorp had given her this assignment in particular.  “Security guard for Yonsei University concert – trot theme.”  The first text read.  It was intended to be a punishment for the mission failure but with Jungryul and the two boys there it would be fun and interesting. 

                “Ok.”  Helen said, smiling at Jungryul; he recognized the tone in her voice from this morning’s phone call.  He smiled back.

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kissme-minseok #1
great job!
LemonPop #2
I think it's great!!!! DragonSalt, you're doing awesome!!!
WhosThere13
#3
Also: I'm guessing that you made Hoya get moody because he was frustrated with her simple and not-completely-the-truth answers, right? Just from a writers and readers perspective, that scene may fit in a bit more if you had hinted at his annoyance building up in previous chapters, or at the beginning of this one, say how he was feeling choked or something because his manager was getting stressed and Helen wasn't saying anything and it was beginning to push him too far. It just seems a little out-of-place that you made him fairly mild mannered so far in the story, but sudden made him short tempered and quick to punching random inanimate objects in this chapter. <br />
Again, I'm trying to say this just on a writers level-sorry if I sound pushy-its just a suggestion. :)<br />
Thank you for updating~!<br />
Also: Sorry I meant Jungryul* in my other review for this chapter >>
WhosThere13
#4
Awwww Hoya, don't get violent-getting annoyed and punching walls is never a good response-plus it doesn't make people want to tell you their secrets anymore then before haha<br />
On another note: HOT DAMN HOYA, LOOK AT YOU GO HAHAHAHA XD I loved how Sungjong totally, completely, and unintentionally, ed Hoya. That was just golden. Plus that little 'making-references-to-their-makeout-and-then-giggling-to-themselves' scene with them and Sungjong and Junryul-maaaade me laugh XD It's nice, cus it shows that Helen didn't mind too much from the semi-forced kisses, and Hoya had managed to cool his temper a bit after the makeout. You also just eased the readers from a more serious and passionate scene to a funnier and lighter one without looking too cheesy or unrealistic (in the sense of the story), so good job~ <br />
To address your concern about the Chapter: This chapter didn't click all the way like the previous ones had, but overall it was pretty good-You don't need to change it-it was suppose to be about Helen informing Hoya about her background, and their little love thing going further, right? Then you did just that, as well as added a little bit of other pieces of the story here and there to act as a buffer so the story wouldn't go too off track. It was a little fast, but there's bound to be a couple of chapters in every story that seemed a little sped up, so don't worry. :)
DragonSalt24
#5
^^ i hope you look forward to finding out more about Hyun - hopefully the twist that's coming up will be an interesting surprise<br />
i'm not sure if the place where i found the information but i actally heard that Jungryul is the name of one of Infinite's managers - i wasn't sure if that's actually true but if it was i wanted to use it to make it more realistic^^<br />
i'm glad you actually noticed the different viewpoints! it's hard for me to explain everything without showing an outsider's opinion on a situation so i'm glad you like that and it doesn't bother you or give away too much information^^<br />
thank you again for the comments! i really enjoy your feedback and it's helping me stay on track with the story i wanted to write originally^^! i hope you still enjoy it after this next chapter
WhosThere13
#6
Hmmm I disliked Hyun before, but now I'm kinda wary of him...<br />
It's different to see that one character you created, Jungryul, is kinda acting as a narrator, but when I say different I mean in a good way. It kinda helps the readers since he views the love triangle from his point of view, unbiased, while with Hoya and Helen, its a bit biased since ones POV is emotional, while the other is more analyzing and on-guard with Hyun and a little unsure with Hoya. (Sorry if that sounded confusing haha)<br />
I also like how with Sungjong and Hyun's relationship, you made the former like the latter and be friendly with him, which I can see him doing in real life XD<br />
Anywhos~Thank you for updating, it was another very-well written chapter :)
DragonSalt24
#7
!!! ahh i'm so thankful!! your feedback makes me very happy!<br />
i hope i've made Hoya more realistic towards how he acts on interviews and on shows, etc.<br />
ha i really can't say thank you enough! <br />
if there's something that comes up in the future that you don't quite agree with or don't like in the story please let me know!^^ and ha, i really appreciate your comment! - it helps me know that i'm doing Something right with the story^^<br />
please enjoy!
WhosThere13
#8
Normally I have the bad habit of being a silent reader and not commenting on stories and subscribing and stuff, but I felt guilty when I realized no one had said anything in Chapter 19-and I had loved it!<br />
Hoya is so freakin' awesome in here, and I love your female lead (she's so badass!)I love your writing-It can be really hard to find someone with such good grammar and spelling here on AF, not to mention a female lead with an actual name rather then ~~~ or something, and one so likeable too.<br />
The interaction between them in Chappie 19 is perfect-I admit when I started reading that page, I was wondering if you were going to add a kiss scene-but the amount of skinship was just right-a kiss would have been too fast and would become awkward and a burden later on in the story :)It was perfect!<br />
I just finished reading Chapter 20-Gaaaaaaah I wanna know if Hoya starts a fight with Hyun (though he'd totally lose XD) It's so goooood!<br />
Thank you for updating! Sorry for not commenting sooner!
DragonSalt24
#9
thanks for the nice comments guys!!^^
LemonPop #10
DragonSalt, i'm just giving you a bad time ;) It's really great!