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♣ modern times request shopThe Leader and the Mobster | Terrachipzx
Title (2/5)
Although the title does relate to the story's plot, it's pretty bland. It's too direct, thus having less appeal to the audience. In addition, it doesn't spur any questions or curiosity about what the story's plot is, as readers can predict that this story will have to do with a leader of a gang and a mobster. However, I'm wondering who the leader and the mobster is. In the beginning, I thought that Bora was the leader and the mobster was Sehun. However, it turns out that Sehun is a gang leader, too (since he has a right-hang man).
Appearance (4/5)
I like the monochrome poster. However, I thought that there were three girls in the story instead of one, since there were three girls on the poster (it took me a while to recognize that they were all the same person). I would've liked to see Sehun, since he also plays an important role in the story.
Description/Foreword (13/15)
The description did exactly what it did, which I was happy about; it gave me a synopsis of the story. I would exclude the poster and review credits from the description and place them in the foreword, though. Those information aren't exactly describing the story, and foreword are usually contain author notes or credits or anything extra for the story.
The foreword was interesting. It kind of created a potential desire or greed in Sehun (as I'm assuming that the man is Sehun). It was a nice piece of the story, and gave the readers an small sneak peek on the author's writing style and some of the character's characteristics.
Plot (10/25)
The Leader and the Mobster is about a gang leader, Bora, who seeks revenge against a violent gang called the Death Riders. The story also contains a possible romance between Oh Sehun, another gang leader who wants Bora to be his slave or pet. In the beginning, the story follows what the description says. However, the plot suddenly shifts with the absence of Sehun starting from Chapter 5, where it starts to talk about Bora's past and how she wants to get rid of the Death Riders.
From my perspective, the story is cliché: in the day, the girl is the perfect, mysterious high school student while at night, she turns out to be a gang leader for an infamous gang (called the Alphas). Someone (in this case, Sehun) discovers her identity, and tries to use her information against her. From there, the girl goes through the troubles of being near a mobster who's infatuated with her while finding her lost family member and attempting to defeat a rising enemy. This isn't the first time I've read this type of story, and the twists or sudden events that happen (like Hyunwoo joining the Death Riders or Bora being drugged) aren't surprising.
The story lacks setting descriptions, and the transitions between the flashbacks and the present are awkward. For example, the story would describe settings with one or two words, saying "North HQ, Oh Mafia" or "Flashback" or "The next day, Oh Highschool, Bora's View" and so on. I'm usually okay with the different point of views and how writers would directly state the changes in views, but the setting are the ones where I felt could be more descriptive. There phrases could be turned to simple sentences, like saying, "The next day at Oh High School, Bora sat down in class, dreaming…" It makes a smoother transition, not to mention that it strengthens the settings. Also, I felt that the flashback chapter, The Day of Retribution wasn't placed smoothly. In chapter 5, it talks about how Bora escapes Sehun's hide out, and it suddenly jumps to chapter 6, where it talks about Bora's past that has nothing rel
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