2
Even After
Key helped Taemin settle his things in the guest room, despite the uncomfortable feelings of the younger male. "You don't have many things, do you?" Key tried to begin a casual conversation, observing the two bags on the ground. Taemin shrugged, "You learn to pack light when you're practically homeless."
"Well, now you have a home." Key assured the boy, flashing his oh-so famous smile. Taemin didn't quite know why, but Key's smile seemed to make all of the stress that he had built up his whole life melt away.
Even if it was just for a second.
When Key's hand extended towards the bigger of the two cases, Taemin quickly slapped it away. There was no way in hell that he was going to let Key inside it, and Ky could sense this, so he quickly retracted.
"I'll just go and make us some lunch, okay? Be right back." He headed out the door, slightly closing it behind him. Of course, he would make lunch, but he'd probably just throw some ramen in a pot and make it look like he actually got work done. What he really wanted, however, was to find out what was in the bag.
He watched as Taemin. oblivious to his elder's cautious stalking, unpacked the contents one by one. A few t-shirts and jeans, skin care products, and shoes. Key slowly crouched down to his knees, growing more bored by the second. He was about to give up and make the food when Taemin produced a silver object from the case. It was ridged and glinted in the sunlight, and Key knew almost immediately what is was.
A razor.
He knew that he couldn't just barge in and ask what he was doing with it. Taemin would grow offended that Key was even watching him in the first place and escape his life again. Key looked back into the slit in the door and saw that Taemin was still staring at the metal object in his hands. Now would be the perfect time to just accidentally walk in and "act surprised".
So he did. Pushing open the door, he took note in Taemin's reaction. By that, meaning there was none. The boy just stood there, his slim legs leaning on the bed, his focus still on the razor.
Key hesitated, "What's that for?"
"Self defense." The younger boy said without even looking up. Sure, he didn't sound like he was lying, but he sure wasn't telling the truth. In fact, he sounded as if he had rehearsed that same answer over and over, like an actor might practice his lines. As if billions of people had asked him that very question every day of his life, and the answer just rolled out like there was no problem.
There was a problem. But Key didn't want to know it. He didn't want to know anything. Not when things were finally going right.
"I could've sworn I threw this out years ago." Taemin whispered to himself, inaudible to the prying ears of the elder man standing before him. He slowly rolled the tiny object in his palms, carefully observing the sharp, destructive edges. It seemed impossible, how such a small thing could bring back so many haunting memories.
He saw himself, a 1st year in high school, sitting in the corner of the bathroom stall. Three boys had just left after almost beating the poor boy to death. His face was crimson with blood and he knew he couldn't just leave like this.
In all honesty, he didn't want to leave at all.
He reached in his school uniform jacket and selected the small razor he always kept with him. There had been numerous times where he had swore he would end his life, but he could never bring himself to do it. I'm such a coward, he would say to himself. It wasn't the first time he had used the small metal razor. He had never ventured very far from just creating shallow cuts on his skin, deep enough to bleed, but not to kill him.
Today, he though, will be different.
The next thing he knew, he was being loaded into the back of an ambulance. He couldn't make out the muffled screams and demands coming from the principal and his homeroom teacher. Later, he had found out that the only reason why they even reported the incident was because the head director of the school didn't want a suicide ruining the school's "pristine" records.
It was the same day Taemin thought he got rid of it. He never even remembered packing it in the first place. Something had just told him that something terrible was in that bag, and he couldn't possibly let Key see it.
Now he knew. Now Key knew.
"Are you still hungry?" Key said softly. The younger male broke out of his trance and stared the elder in the face. Key didn't show any signs of surprise or disappointment. It was almost like he sincerely felt bad for Taemin. The boy quickly walked over to the open drawer and slipped the object in the bottom. He turned to Key, and the older man led the way into the kitchen.
Key sighed, "You don't use that thing...for anything other than, you know, self-defense...right?" Taemin's mind swarmed with possible responses.
Wow, what kind of person do you think I am?
Do you not trust me?
But instead, he settled for a simple nod and fake smile. He's responded that way all his life. Key sighed and turned to the front, but Taemin could tell he was too exhausted to argue. He walked towards the dining table while the elder shifted into the kitchen to finally make the meal. The two males were silent for the longest time. No one even seemed to breathe louder than a whisper. Normally, this would be a very awkward atmosphere for anyone to sit through.
But it didn't bother Key, nor did it bother Taemin. It was almost as if the silence was more comforting than conversation. They were both aware of the fact that the more they talked, the more secrets would come.
And Key wouldn't let that happen. Not when things were going so well.
Sorry this took so long. My
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