“The problem is your kindness that tears me apart..

Because.. is theres a limit to how much you can love somebody.

I think, I've already reached mine...”

Life never been easier, for him. For Lee Sungmin.

Everything was a big bowl of madness, one to another it never stop even though he pleaded it for, but he never put the blame on the world, pitying himself because of his horrible faith. He would never do that, not in a  million years.

With no ones barely at home since he was a little, he never taste any kind of affection from his family. But if being praised by his parent about his grade was counted one of it. He didn’t mind at all being the top of his class, just to get his parent’s attention.  He learned to accept that hes just merely a tool for them.

Living in a cold environment, made him to grew to be a strong guy, more likely bold. The type of a person who always give his best into whatever hes doing. Perfectionist.

And yet, not one single miracle ever happen to him.

Its not like he was hoping for it to happen and not wanting for it to happen either. All he could think is, God works in a mysterious way and life is just a big massive roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. And sometimes you’re in between.

But theres one day he could think it was the best time in his life, the time that he thought was one of the greatest moment when he was up in that ride.

The time that he first met his new boss, Lee Hyukjae.

So after 36 months, 2 weeks, and 18 days passed. He finally realize that he’s falling in love with no other than his own boss and he finally learn what is 'affection' trully means.

They don’t have that kind of relationship, not the lovey dovey one but yes. He always be there everytime Hyukjae need him, for better or worse. Always stay by his side, protecting him and take care of him.

Its true that they have a different type of personality, not seemingly mutual but yet it attract one and another.

Every now and then its usual for him that common people likes to mistaken them as a couple, but Sungmin never put it that way. He never even asked what they mean to each other. But atleast he know what Hyukjae means to him.

Holding hands, light kisses and comforting hugs.

Nothing more than that.

And yet he was fine with it.

Because as long as he can stay beside the one he love the most is one of the privileges of being a friend, he can just be Hyukjae’s friend.

Even though, sometimes it hurts him…

Sungmin, didn’t care about it., he don’t want to messed it all up and he dont want to lose the one he loved.

Not for the second time.

**

“You do realize that actually its time for you to wake up and get to work, right?”  Theres no answer from the other guy, the dark haired boy quickly got up from the edge of the bed and opened up the curtain, letting the sun light shone into the dark room.

Eunhyuk groaned, waking up is the most painful thing in the world for him. He immediately open his eyes and looked at the younger man. Moving his arm, he ran his fingers through his dark smooth hair and sat up just to get a better view of him. While Sungmin sat back in his bed, just to make sure he didn’t go back to sleep. Eyes locking to his.

“Lee Sungmin, my faithfull assistant. What would I do without you, hmn?” he took the other’s chin and smirked a little, brushing his thumb against his plump lips.

“You’ll ended up dead in a dark alley with no one even care about it” Sungmin slapped the other’s hand in a swift and quickly went out from Eunhyuk’s room. “No time to play, get up”

“So feisty in the early morning, whats gotten into you huh? It still early” Eunhyuk followed him to the dining room while squinting his eyes, still adjusting his blurry vision.

“Work, that’s what gotten into me. Now sit and eat your breakfast.” He grabbed a freshly made toast from the toaster and placed the scrambled egg on top of it. Served it on a plate, he handed it to his-so-called-boss and took a sit beside him. Watching him closely as Hyukjae do what he told and began to eat his breakfast.

Sungmin tapped his fingers on the table and stretched his arms before letting a soft yawn.

“You don’t sleep again didn’t you? I told you to quit the job.” Eunhyuk said, still eating his breakfast.

“It can be helped, they need me Hyuk. You know I cant say no to them.”

The red haired boy hardly nodded.

“You’re too kind sometimes, Min. Get a grip.” Hyukjae narrowed his eyes for a second. “Think about yourself more, its your life not theirs.”

“I know” he paused. “But still, I can’t do it”

“Theres another way Min, you know it better than me. That’s why theres choices in the first place.”  Hyukjae added.

“Well I don’t have it and I will never have it.” The younger boy stood up and walked to the counter. “Coffee or juice?”

“Coffee, black.” Hyukjae said as he also stood up and put the dishes into the sink.

Sungmin poured him a cup of coffee then placed it on the table. He felt guilty somehow, he didn’t want to make Hyukjae to worry about him. “Don’t think about me.” He said in a soft tone. “I choose my path wisely and this is the risk that I take. So don’t..”

Before he could finish his words, he was already in Hyukjae’s arms. Tight and close. So close he could felt the other’s breathing. So close, it almost drive him crazy.

“Atleast, let me help you. Talk to me once in a while just like old times, beside I missed your lame jokes” He whispered gently, right through his ear.

Sungmin closed his eyes for a while, feeling the others warmth around his body was all he could asked for after a couple of days without sleep. It comforts him, it makes him sane.

Slowly he found his way onto the red head’s back. Hugging him as tight as he could before he buried his head on the nape of his neck.

They’re not in a relationship, he knew it well.

But yes, they always have each other. Whatever happen. They always stick together and nothing could change that. Nothing.

“Pabo…..you already are..”

 **      

Donghae perked up his cell phone and trailed the numbers on his contacts. His eyes fixed onto a certain name that’s been showing on the screen.

Lee Hyukjae.

He drank up his juice and flipped down his phone. Looking at the school yard with an empty gaze. Its been five no, six days to be precise after the Subway train incident.

And since that day, Donghae couldn’t stop thinking about him.

It felt weird, because truthfully he never ever think about someone else beside himself. It surprised him, how in one night Hyukjae could turned his world upside down. Just because of a tiny touch.

He closed his eyes as his mind slowly drifted, how it feels to feel his touch once more. How it feels to be in his arms and how it feels…to be kiss by him.

He opened his eyes and continue to stare at the school yard that was filled with a numerous high school student. Some of them are enjoying their lunch or just playing around with their friends.

Donghae never knew what Hyukjae did to him. It still leave as a mystery in his mind as his entire being scream to meet the other guy once more. Its pathetic because he couldn’t even sent a text to him.

‘I’m hopeless..’ Donghae scoffed bitterly before heading back to his seat. Dissapointed with his own guts.

“Yo fish, you’re talking to yourself again.” Heechul flicked his forehead gently, earning a surprise yelp from the other.

“What the f..you scared me, bastard.” Donghae rubbed his forehead and took his seat, without breaking his eye contact with him.

“Its because you’re busy day dreaming again.” He crossed his arms on his chest and rolled his eyes. “You’ve been pretty off since 6 days ago. Spilled it out fish, what the hell happened with you huh? Did someone pissed you off so badly that you cant stop to think whats the perfect punishment for him? Come on, tell prince heechul about it”

Donghae snorted “Prince? Pfft, you gotta be kidding me.” He shook his head and throw his gaze back to the window. “I wish I can put it that way, it would be a lot simpler then”

Heechul widened his eyes and laughed hard at his answered. “Dude you sounded like you’re love sick or something?” he gasped. “Don’t tell me….The notorious Seoul High School’s playboy finally settle down? Ouhhhhhhh! This is going to be a hot gossip!” Heechul clapped his hands in ecstasy.

The brown haired guy, chuckled darkly. “ Like hell that would happen….Love sick? You gotta be kidding me Hee. I don’t even believe in love, now how am I supposed to fall for it if I don’t even believe it was real.”

“Oh really? Then why the hell you’re staring at your cell phone screen every once in a while? Explain that to me. Fish.” Heechul looked straight into Donghae’s eyes as he believe theres something fishy behind his best friend weird attitude.

“If I tell you, I would have to kill you Hee. Now just try to stay out of my life and mind your own business will you?” Donghae grabbed onto Heechul’s collar and gave him a death glare. All of the students in the class room stopped their activity and focused on them. They started whispering about the fight and some of them are taking out their cell phone. Ready to record it.

“Fishy fishy fishy. You do have a bad temper don’t you?” Heechul took his hand and pulled it away. He fixed his tie and smiled devilishly at the younger boy. “I understand, I wont ask it again”

It always ended up like this.

Everytime Donghae got something bothering his mind he didn’t want anyone to know about it. Its his own business, he doesn’t need anyone to know about this. Not even his friends.

“Theres nothing to watch, go do you whatever you want. Get lost!” Heechul said to the entire class. Then within seconds all of them got back to whatever they’re doing. If heechul mean theres nothing that means theres nothing at all. They don’t have the nerve to stand up against his order.

Donghae perked up his cell phone once again and looking at the screen, he mumbled softly before starting to text Hyukjae.

‘I’m not a whimp, I could do this. It’s a piece of cake, I can say hello, right? It wouldnt bother him at all and he will reply me. Because I’m Lee Donghae, The Lee Donghae’

He pressed the send button and leaned back to his chair, throwing his head up and gazing at the ceiling.

‘What if…he forgets me…what if he don’t have a time…what if this isn’t his real phone number?!!’

He began to panic and muttered to himself about how stupid he is. Making his best friend curiousity grew more.

“Donghae..helloo Lee Donghae? Donghae to earth??” Heechul waved his hand right in front of Donghae face trying to check any sign of him being alive.

“Heechul, you’re interrupting me again!!” Donghae nearly screamed.

“Dude, you’re starting to give me the creep, you’re talking to yourself. Are you sure you’re okay?!”

“I’m fine, perfectly fine.” he waved his hands lazily.

Then his phone vibrated.

Donghae blinked, feeling the vibrate on his pocket he quickly pulled his phone out and check whos the one that texting him.

From : Lee Hyukjae

Hello too kid, I remember you. Who could have forget that smile of yours?  I wonder.

Donghae couldn’t help but smiled, like the widest smile he could ever done. He huffed softly just to calm himself then start replying to his text. Ignoring Heechul whos totally bewildered after seeing Donghae’s reaction

“Damn you’re totally in love. Aishhh…I’m out” The older boy excused himself and headed out from his classroom. Leaving the excited Donghae busy with his phone whos ignoring Heechul’s statement.

From : Lee Donghae

You bet, uncle. jk jk

So wanna go grab something to eat later? or..maybe a drink?

He fiddled his fingers, looking at his cell phone. Waiting for Hyukjae’s text. Then it buzzed once more.

From : Lee Hyukjae

Can’t do. Busy. Work.

Donghae stared at the cell phone screen. His bright mood drastically turned down and he felt pissed all of a sudden.

‘He’s working. He’s an adult. He’s busy..What the hell am I thinking..asking him out like that..’

But not too long after that his phone rang, without looking at the caller he picked it up and felt blank after he heared the caller's voice.

“Tomorrow. Do you have time?”

“S..s..sure, why’d you ask….?”

“Tomorrow, Dinner at Le Marche Restaurant. Downtown. 7 o’clock. Be there.”

Without saying his answer, Hyukjae already ended his call.

He took a deep breath and slowly he felt his cheek warmer than ever. He accepted his offer.

‘, since when I act this girly..I’m not gay.’

Donghae kicked his desk hard trying to release his anger, battling with his own thoughts as he hardly accept that a guy could make him feel this way. But no one could make him smile like an idiot and makes his heart beats this quick.

No one could do him like he do....

He touched his own chest and he swear he felt his heart was about to explode because of it constant beating. Over and over again. Pounding harder than ever.

‘Does this mean, I like..him..?’